by Cat Schield
Too bad life wasn’t equally easy to prepare for and navigate. Nothing he’d ever experienced could’ve enabled Harrison to see the wreck between him and London coming. She’d completely blindsided him. One second he was in his lane, thinking that he had everything in hand, and the next he was spinning out of control on a trajectory that sent him crashing into the wall.
Ahead of him the entrance gate to Crosby Motorsports came into view. As he sped onto the property, the peace he’d always gathered from being there eluded him. The facility had been more than his home away from home for nearly two decades. It was the center of his world. Yet tonight as he pulled up in front of the engine shop, his heart wasn’t here.
He expected the building to be empty. With the season done, the team had headed home for some much-needed rest and family time. Harrison used his keycard to access the engine shop and easily navigated the familiar space in the dim light. Of all the various components that went into the cars, he had a particular fondness for engines since his earliest memories were of working beside his uncle, learning how all the complicated parts came together to move the vehicle forward in breathtaking speeds.
Of course, the engines designed and built by the Crosby Motorsports team were far more sophisticated than the engines Harrison had learned on. These days the engines were customized each week for the particular racetrack based on the speed and throttle characteristics and even the driver.
“What are you doing here?”
Looking past the neat row of engines lined up along one wall, Harrison spied his uncle headed his way.
“Just clearing my head.”
“How’s London? Things going okay?”
“Why do you ask?”
“She’s the first woman you’ve brought around in a long time. I figured she was someone special.” Jack removed his ball cap and ran slender fingers through his thick gray hair. “And with the hangdog look about you right now, it stands to reason that something went wrong.”
With the season over, Jack became a lot more approachable, and Harrison decided to take advantage of his uncle’s years of experience being married to a firecracker like Dixie.
“When London and I first started dating, I thought our biggest problem was going to be that she wouldn’t give me a chance because I didn’t have the sort of Charleston social connections she was looking to make.”
“And now?” Jack asked, not looking a bit surprised.
“I think those issues are still there, but they aren’t the biggest problem we have.”
Jack shook his head in disgust and suddenly Harrison was an impulsive teenager again, eager to get behind the wheel of a car he couldn’t handle.
“Do you think for one second if I hadn’t fought for Dixie that we’d be together right now?” Jack asked. “Your dad and I had empty pockets and big dreams when I met your aunt.”
“But she married you,” Harrison reminded him.
“You say that like there was never any question she would. Her dad chased me off their property the first time I made her cry.”
Harrison regarded his uncle in shock, intrigued by this glimpse into Jack’s personal life. Usually his uncle stuck to tales about the business or racing and Harrison sensed there was a good story waiting to be told.
“You made her cry?” He couldn’t imagine his tough-as-nails aunt reduced to tears. “Why? How?”
“I wasn’t the smooth operator I am today.”
Harrison snorted. His uncle often told stories, and the more dramatic the circumstances, the better. Not everything was 100 percent true, but there was enough reality to provide a moral. The key was discovering what exactly to believe.
“So, what happened?”
“She was debuting and wanted me as her escort for the ball. We’d been going out for only a few months at the time and I certainly wasn’t her parents’ first choice.”
“Did you do something to embarrass her at the event?”
“I never made it to the ball.”
“Why?”
“Stupid pride.” Jack’s expression turned sheepish. “I turned her down. She and I were from different worlds. I believed if we went together, she’d be the target of ridicule and I didn’t want to put her through that.”
Harrison winced. That same thought had crossed his mind at Richmond Raceway when he’d glimpsed London there. It had been so obvious that she didn’t fit in. And later when he’d seen her with his brother at the Crosby Motorsports party, he’d briefly wondered if she’d prefer to be with someone who shared similar business and social connections.
“If that’s what you believed,” Harrison asked, “why did you start dating her in the first place?”
“Because she turned my world upside down. I could no more stay away from her than stop breathing. She was my heart and my reason for getting up every morning.”
Jack’s words hit closer to home than Harrison would’ve liked.
“So what happened after you turned down her invitation to attend the ball?”
“I’d underestimated how strong she was. And how determined. She didn’t give a damn what other people thought. She was proud of me, of the man I was, and wanted everyone to know it.” Jack raked his fingers through his hair as regret twisted his features. Even now, after more than three decades of wedded bliss, Harrison could see his uncle wished he’d behaved a different way. “My actions made it appear that I believed her choices were flawed. And that I didn’t trust her.”
“But she married you, so she must have gotten over it,” Harrison said.
“It took a year.”
Harrison could imagine what those months must’ve been like for his uncle. He was experiencing his own separation angst at the moment.
“You must have been really hung up on her to have stayed in the fight that long,” he said.
“You know, at the beginning of the year I don’t believe I understood what I was feeling. Plus, if I’d been truly in love or, more to the point, been willing to surrender my stubbornness and give in to my emotions, I might have saved myself a lot of pain.”
Harrison didn’t want to ponder an entire year away from London, so he asked, “Why did you keep going when she rejected you for a year?”
“Because to be without her hurt more than my foolish pride. I tried to stay away, but rarely lasted more than a week or two. Life got pretty bleak for me, pretty fast. It also made me more determined to be worthy of her. That’s when Crosby Automotive really started to take off. I threw every bit of my frustration and fear and joy into making something I could be proud of. I thought if I was wealthy and successful that I could win her back.”
“Did it work?”
Jack shook his head. “It made things worse. The better Crosby Automotive did, the more confident I became and the less she wanted to have anything to do with me.”
Harrison wasn’t liking where the story was going. “So what did it take?”
“She started dating someone perfect for her. A guy from a wealthy, well-connected family.” Jack’s expression hardened. “I fell into a dark well for a couple of weeks.”
“How’d you come out of it?”
“I weighed being happy for the rest of my life against my pride.”
“And?” Harrison didn’t really need to ask. He saw where his uncle was going. “What did it take?”
“The most difficult conversation of my life. I had to completely open myself up to her. Fears, hopes, how she made my life better and that I wanted to be worthy of her love.”
Strong emotion filled Jack’s voice even after three and a half decades. The power of it drove Harrison’s misery higher. His throat tightened, preventing him from speaking for a long moment.
Into the silence, his uncle spoke again. “Is what you feel for her worth fighting for?”
Could he live without London? Probably. Would it be
any fun? Doubtful. For so long racing had been his purpose and passion. He’d never considered that he’d sacrificed anything to be at the top of his game. But was that true?
With London he’d started thinking in terms of family and kids, and there was no question that she’d pulled his focus away from racing. The telling part was that he didn’t mind. In fact, he’d begun to think in terms of how he intended to make changes in his schedule next year to spend as much time with her as possible. He suspected that if this business with his brother hadn’t gotten between them, he’d be well on his way to looking at engagement rings.
“For a long time I thought so.” Harrison’s chest tightened at the thought of letting her go, but he couldn’t imagine how to get past the way she’d used him. He’d never been one to hold a grudge, but trusting her again seemed hopeless. “Now I’m not so sure.”
Eleven
A subdued and thoroughly disgraced London entered the Cocktail Club on King Street and searched the animated crowd for her best friend. Maribelle had grabbed two seats at the bar. As London made her way through the customers, Maribelle was flashing her engagement ring at a persistent admirer.
These days because of the magic of Maribelle’s true love glow, members of both sexes flocked to her. By comparison, London felt dull and sluggish. She couldn’t sleep, wasn’t eating and couldn’t remember the last time she’d exercised.
“Holy hell,” Maribelle exclaimed as London slid onto the bar stool beside her. “You look awful.” She narrowed her eyes and looked her friend up and down. “Are you ready to tell me what happened?”
It had been ten days since that horrible morning when Harrison had received that damning audio clip from Everly.
As London filled her in, Maribelle’s expression underwent several transformations from shock to dismay and finally irritation, but she didn’t interrupt until London’s story wound to its bitter finish.
“He’s never going to speak to me again,” London said, putting the final nail in the coffin that held the most amazing romance of her life.
“And well he shouldn’t.” Maribelle scowled. “I’m a little tempted never to speak to you again, either.”
Knowing her friend didn’t really mean that, London sat in rebuked silence while Maribelle signaled the bartender and ordered two shots of tequila.
“You know I can’t drink that,” London protested as the shots were delivered along with salt and limes. “Remember what happened the last time.”
“I do and you are going to drink it until you’re drunk enough to call Harrison and tell him the whole story, after which you’re going to beg for his forgiveness. And then I’m going to take you home and hold your hair while you throw up.” Maribelle handed her the shot. “Because that’s what best friends do.”
“I love you,” London murmured, nearly blind from the grateful tears gathering in her eyes.
“I know. Now drink.”
It took two shots in close succession and twenty minutes for London’s dread to unravel. Two more and an hour before London found enough confidence to do the right thing.
“I’m going to regret this in the morning,” London muttered, picking her phone up off the bar. The roiling in her stomach had nothing to do with the tequila she’d consumed. Yet.
“I know.” Maribelle’s voice was sympathetic, but she maintained the steely demeanor of a drill sergeant. “Now call.”
Beneath Maribelle’s watchful eye, London unlocked her phone and pulled up Harrison’s contact information. With her heart trying to hammer its way out of her chest, she tapped on his name. As his handsome face lit up her screen, she almost chickened out. Maribelle must have sensed this because she made the same chastising sound she used to correct the new puppy she and Beau had just adopted.
London put the phone to her ear and reminded herself to breathe. Facing Harrison after what she’d done to him ranked as the hardest thing she’d ever had to do. But she owed him the full truth and so much more.
“I didn’t think I’d hear from you again.”
She almost burst into ugly sobs as his deep voice filled her ear and suddenly her throat was too tight for her to speak.
“Hello? London, are you there?” He paused. “Or have you butt-dialed me while you’re out having a good time? It sounds like you’re at a party.”
Someone behind her had a rowdy laugh that blasted through the bar right on cue.
“I’m not having fun.” Not one bit. I miss you. “I have things to tell you. Can I come over so I can explain some things to you?”
He remained silent for so long, she expected him to turn her down.
“I’m home now.”
“I can’t tonight,” she said, glancing at the line of empty shot glasses. “Tonight, I’m going to be very, very sick.”
Again he paused before answering. “Tomorrow afternoon, then?”
“At two?”
“At two.”
The line went dead and London clapped her hand over her mouth before making a beeline for the bathroom.
* * *
At a little after two the following afternoon, Harrison opened the door to his penthouse unit and immediately cursed the way his heart clenched at the sight of London. From her red-rimmed eyes to her pale skin and lopsided topknot, she looked as miserable as he felt.
To his dismay, instead of venting his irritation, his first impulse was to haul her into the foyer and wrap her in his arms. Her gaze clung to him as he stepped back and gestured her inside.
Due to the turn in the weather, she’d dressed in jeans, soft suede boots and a bulky sweater in sage green. From her pink cheeks and windblown hair, he suspected she’d walked over from her building along the waterside thoroughfare that ran beside the Cooper River.
With the front door closed, the spacious foyer seemed to narrow. Beneath the scent of wind and water that she’d brought into his home, her perfume tickled his nostrils. Abruptly, he was overwhelmed by memories. Of the joyful hours she’d spent here. The long nights they’d devoured each other. The lazy Sunday mornings when they’d talked over coffee, croissants and egg-white omelets.
“Thank you for letting me come over,” she murmured.
Harrison shoved his hands into his pockets. He would not touch her or offer comfort of any kind, no matter how soft and sweet and vulnerable she looked. He would not let her off easy or tell her it was okay, because it wasn’t.
“You said you wanted to explain about going after my brother,” he growled. “So explain.”
“I will, but first I need to say something to you.” London’s beautiful eyes clung to him. “When I’m with you, I feel...everything. I didn’t expect all the things you make me want and need. I didn’t understand that once we’d made love there would be no going back for me.”
Harrison’s muscles quivered and it took willpower to prevent his body from responding to what she was saying. Her every word echoed how he’d felt about her and the loss he’d experienced these last few days gripped him anew.
“All I want is to be with you.” Her hands fluttered, graceful as a dancer’s, opening and closing as she poured out her emotions. “You made me feel beautiful and fulfilled. You gave me a safe place to be open and vulnerable.”
“That’s not an explanation for why you used me,” he said, his heart wrenching so hard it was difficult to keep a grip on his impatience.
Her expression was a study in consternation as she began again. “I was afraid to tell you what I was doing for fear that you’d hate me.”
Her declaration shook him to the core.
“I could never hate you.”
He loved her.
The realization left him stunned and reeling. For days he’d ignored the part of him that had recognized the signs.
“Harrison, I’m sorry,” London said, her voice sounding very far away even though sh
e stood within reach. “I did a terrible thing.”
He loved her?
How was that possible given what she’d done?
She’d used him to get to his brother. Didn’t she know he would’ve done anything for her if only she’d asked? His soul ached as he resisted his heart’s longing for her. She would always be his weakness.
Needing to put some distance between them before he succumbed to the urge to back her against the wall and lose himself in her, Harrison marched back toward his living room.
It wasn’t until he threw himself onto the couch that he realized she hadn’t left the foyer. With an impatient huff, he rose and went to find her. She stood where he’d left her, pulling down her sleeves to hide her hands.
“I’m so deeply sorry that what I did hurt you,” she said, her voice tiny and choked with tears. “And I want to tell you everything.”
“You might as well come in and tell me the whole story.”
Losing the battle to avoid touching her, Harrison towed London into the living room and drew her to the couch. Once they were seated side by side, she began her tale.
“It all started when I met Zoe and another woman, Everly Briggs, at a networking event a few months ago. We were all strangers and each of us was in a bad place. Linc had just broken off our engagement. Zoe’s divorce was going badly. And Everly claimed her sister had been wrongly imprisoned.”
London’s fingers clenched and flexed in her lap. “I don’t know who first brought up the idea of getting back at the men who’d hurt us, but Everly jumped pretty hard on it and her enthusiasm swept up both Zoe and me.”
Harrison hated that London’s pain from her broken engagement had driven her to do something reckless.
“Zoe was pretty scared of Tristan and I didn’t want to go after Linc and damage my reputation by appearing vindictive. So...” She blew out a big breath. “Since we were strangers who met by chance, we decided to take on each other’s men. Everly went after Linc for me. I went after Tristan for Zoe. And she’s supposed to take down Ryan Dailey for Everly.”