by B. B. Palomo
I’d slowly started leaving more of my stuff here in preparation for moving in. I was never more thankful now, needing to wash away the morning and burn this shirt, so I’d never be caught in it again. The shower handle squeaked when I turned it on, the spray echoing off the fiberglass walls. I waited for the steam to fill the room before I stripped myself of my clothing, leaving them in a messy pile by the door. I was immediately soothed when I stepped under the hot water, the torrent pelting my skin before trailing down to my feet. I tried to pretend the water and Noah’s soap could wash away whatever was wrong with me, but I knew better, and no amount of lying to others or myself would change that.
I held my breath and put my face into the stream, focusing on the stray rivets that trailed down my lips and away from the rest. Before the hot water could run out, I lathered myself in soap, thankful to have shampoo and conditioner here because Noah only used the three-in-one options. I scrubbed my head forcefully, not worried about it hurting, as I removed the night’s sweat and oil, washing it down the drain. I ran my hand over the back of my head, stroking it to encourage the soap to leave, but just as I rounded my skull, something moved out from my hair.
I yanked my hands down, the scream stuck under disbelief as my heart pounded erratically. Paralyzed, I waited for any indication something was there. It took several deep breaths to convince myself to check again. My fingers trembled, just as unwilling as I felt at having to check what was there. I moved them up slowly, starting at my ear and bringing them around to the back of my head, jerking every few centimeters in a premature fright.
Nothing.
I checked again, more confident now, rubbing up and down and then from the sides to be sure, but again, the only thing I would feel was the slight squeak from the freshly washed strands. I blew out the breath I’d be holding, dizzy with the release and having to steady myself against the wall.
Willow.
“Hello?” I whispered at a slithery voice I’d never heard before, sure it was right above me but knowing that was impossible.
The shower curtain started to shift, and I stepped away quickly, the wall cold against my back. Familiar fingers rounded the cream fabric and pulled it open enough for Noah to step in. My heart instantly settled as I started to wonder what the effects of exhaustion were.
“Just me.” He smiled. “I hope you weren’t expecting someone else.”
I gave him a playful nudge, working hard to keep my eyes upright and not stare at him in all his glory. He invaded my space without complaint from me, lightly placing his hands on my hips, and despite being used to his touch, my breath still hitched in my chest. I unintentionally licked my lips as he bent down to place light kisses against the tender skin of my neck, loving away anything else I was worried about. Goosebumps spread in pleasant waves across my body as heat pooled in my lower abdomen. I felt his excitement grow between us and pressed into him further as a low growl escaped his lips.
“Are you sure you’re feeling up to this?” he whispered into my ear, and I couldn’t help but smile that he was still worried about me.
I answered by reaching up and slamming my lips to his in desperate urgency. He deepened the kiss, using his tongue to spread my lips and tease the tip of mine. I moaned into his mouth when he pulled me to straddle his leg, the sensation sending sparks into my belly. My heart fluttered, and he easily shifted me so I could wrap my legs around his midsection. We both laughed as he struggled to get the water turned off and carry me to the bed, my arms crossed tightly around him.
He laid me down gently, not minding that my wet hair and body were soaking into the sheets as he pulled me closer to the edge. He maneuvered my legs, placing each one on his shoulders so he could have full access. He placed teasing kisses on my inner thighs, making me tremble with anticipation. I cried out when he finally flicked his tongue against the flower bud of nerves, the heat growing quicker. With each skilled lick, the energy built in me until I was begging for it to come to fruition. My fingers dug into his soft hair as he covered me with his lips, sucking and sending me over the top.
My legs shook as I rode the wave, my ears buzzing as I sucked in hungry breaths. Noah gently pushed me back up onto the bed, slowly climbing onto it as well before using his hips to spread me open and positioning himself on top of my body. I splayed my hands across his back, urging him inside, which he was quick to oblige. Slowly, he slid his sex into mine, it stretching the skin at first before comfortably fitting like he was made for me. He was careful to hold his weight as he softly thrust forward.
I gasped, the sensations already rebuilding even though I had just had my release, and pulled him closer. Noah glided effortlessly in my excitement, moving faster as his own release built. I moaned as he found the sweetest of spots, and the noise brought him crashing down into me. Chest to chest, with no way to tell where I ended and he began, I spread wider, encouraging him to let go. With one final push, we both fell off the deep end. I curled my toes at the tenderness and kissed his shoulder lightly.
He slowly rolled off of me and pulled me in close, placing one arm under my head and the other around me like he was afraid I’d disappear. I breathed him in, letting the heat from his body soak into me, and listened as his heart slowly returned to a normal rhythm. Before I knew it, the steady beat lulled me into the most blissful, dreamless sleep.
I peeled my eyes open one by one, awoken by the soft snores of the warm body lying next to me. I turned and snuggled in closer, Noah’s arms instinctively squeezing me as I moved. I placed subtle kisses on his cheeks, trailing my way to the tip of his nose as he suspired and curled his lips upward.
“We’ve overslept,” I said, voice thick. I didn’t need to look at the clock to know what should have been a thirty-minute nap had stolen most of the day away.
“Five more minutes,” he whined, burying his head into me and making me laugh as his nose tickled my neck.
“Five more minutes and we’ll be doomed to pull an all-nighter to get back onto schedule,” I reminded him.
The groan that rumbled from his core confirmed that he was not a fan of the idea, and with reluctance, he rolled off the bed and got dressed. I watched as he moved from his dresser to the closet, admiring the man that was in front of me. He turned and caught me staring, flashing me a shameless grin as he shimmied into a pair of worn jeans.
I quickly followed suit, heading to the restroom to pull on some jeans and a retro T-shirt with the Bee Gee’s logo in faded print that spread across the length of my chest. I didn’t dare try to brush out my hair, knowing the moment I did, the waves would turn into a frizzy mess. Instead, I just ran my fingers loosely through the locks to try and untangle the matting from our nap. I gave my teeth a quick scrub and washed my hands before leaving.
Both of our phones went off, the chiming indicative of the group chat being messaged. Noah was reading his phone before I had gotten through the door. I opened mine to see what he was looking at.
I had missed a dozen texts and a few phone calls from my mom. I shot off a quick sorry and that I’d be staying with Noah tonight, avoiding all of her questions about the car and what was going on with me. It wouldn’t make her less worried, but at least she wouldn’t put out an Amber alert on me when I was fine—mostly.
Next, I checked the chat, reading the text from Adira surrounded by more emojis than one could believe.
There was supposedly a bonfire tonight that we had to be at. In all caps, she’d written it was non-negotiable.
The introvert in me convulsed at the thought of having to go out, let alone to hang out alongside a bunch of people who had made my childhood hell. The old lady in my complained about how it was a school night and far away, and the sudden rebel I didn’t know existed in me thought it would be hilarious for the town witch to show up and crash one of their sacred parties. Noah must have been studying my face as it changed with my range of emotions. I assumed it settled on disgust because he shoved his hands into his pockets, remaining neutral on his position.
“We don’t have to go, you know,” he said.
“I know.” I agreed. “But I also can’t say no to this. She never gets to do what she likes, and honestly, I feel like she’s sacrificing so much to be friends with me.” I laughed, but it was humorless.
“Why would you say that?” he asked, moving toward the bed to sit in front of me.
“Come on. You know I’m the only reason Adira’s not in.”
“That’s not what you mean, is it?” He pushed.
I bit my lip before coming clean. “I’m the reason all of you guys get treated the way you do. If you didn’t hang around me, you’d have so many friends. Everyone would like you.”
“Willow.” He ran a hand through his hair. “Even if that was true, we’re friends because we love you. Seriously. So whatever this feeling is that you’re having, let it go because it’s in your head. If you want to go to support Adira, that’s fine. If you don’t want to go, that’s fine too, and I bet she would understand.”
I thought about it for a second, trying to clear the mist from my eyes. His words were touching, but it didn’t change the fact, and he knew that. They all gave up a life they deserved to be my friend, so the least I could do was suck it up for a night.
“Let’s go,” I said finally. “But first, I’m hungry.”
Noah gave me a devilish grin, turning my body into lava. “Me too.”
Chapter Twelve
We had to park pretty far away from the bonfire, with the road cutting off at a dead end lined with thick trees and pine bristles coating the ground. There were already multiple cars in the area, and I quickly spotted Adira’s amongst them. We stepped around the white and red striped barricade and started along a worn down path with foot tracks from years of partygoers.
The sleep deprivation had affected me more than I thought was possible. After getting some rest, I felt back to normal. I’d decided on the way over here that I was going to enjoy this party no matter what. I’d only ever been to one before, not including my small birthday parties, and though the experience wasn’t great, I’d still managed to have a good time with my friends there by my side.
White moonlight painted our way, making it easy to see the fallen trees and where the route jarred off to the left. It was a lovely night, but the subtle breeze weaving through the trees still made me shiver through my jacket. It wasn’t long before the bonfire’s soft orange hue broke through the tree line, lapping at the thick tree trunks, and people started to materialize. The heat from the fire was a welcomed sensation as we stepped foot into a round clearing. The bass from a song I didn’t recognize was thumping steadily from the portable speaker someone had placed near a white folding table that housed a selection of liquor that would easily put a small bar to shame. I caught Adira’s familiar dark eyes just past the beer pong table. Once she saw us, she waved excitedly, almost spilling her drink on the person next to her, who quickly maneuvered away from the sloshing liquid with an annoyed look.
Cora, who was clutching a half-empty water bottle I was sure she pulled from her purse, not trusting anything here, followed close behind Adira as she tumbled in our direction. The buzz flushed her features and added a happy glaze to her eyes.
Adira wore a forest green silk blouse that was much more dressy than my old T-shirt. It was paired with deep blue skinny jeans and heeled boots that stopped just above her knees. You would have thought she was going to a club and not hanging around a campsite, but I was still impressed at how well she navigated the rugged outdoors in those things. I bet against myself, knowing I’d probably end up with a twisted ankle by the end of the night while wearing regular tennis shoes.
Cora was dressed more casually, matching Noah and me in comfort. She opted for practical running shoes and fleece leggings to keep her warm. She had a thermal shirt under a button-up flannel and, if we were being honest, probably looked more like a camper than anyone here. The party had a ton of people, most of them recognizable from our high school days, but a few people I’d never seen before still cast looks in my direction, reminding me that some things never change, and they’d still heard the whispers about me.
As we moved forward to meet Adira halfway, I caught the ends of some of the conversations happening. Most people complained about being in a small town. However, like me, they’d never found the courage to leave or eventually just decided it wasn’t as bad as they thought. The others whispered about their friends and the latest drama. Surprisingly, I only caught one “is that her” as we passed.
“You made it!” Adira exclaimed and grabbed ahold of me as if we’d not seen each other in years. She wasn’t slurring her words, which impressed me considering I gauged the strength of her drink by the strong smell that permeated my way from the red Solo cup she was clutching.
Noah excused himself to grab something to drink.
“Yes, figured I needed to venture outside my comfort zone a little.” Omitting I mainly was there out of guilt.
“It won’t feel so uncomfortable if you grab a drink,” she suggested.
In all honesty, I didn’t know how I felt about drinking to ease the anxiety I felt. It seemed like abuse if I needed it for a reason and not just because I felt like having some, but reluctantly I agreed as she pushed her cup into my hands. I took a gulp and immediately regretted it, noting I should have known better after giving it a sniff. I couldn’t pinpoint what was in it based on experience or the collage of bottles on the table but could ascertain that the chaser was not poured adequately to combat the taste. The liquor resembled the harshness of Everclear. It burned a path straight down my esophagus until it reached my stomach, surely liquefying anything I had eaten recently.
“I think I will let you keep this one.” I gagged and handed it back to her. She took the cup back and threw her head back for another drink, swishing it around her mouth like wine. Adira shrugged when she swallowed, not perceiving the same chemical burn I was licking from my lips. I laughed and shook my head. “You must have a lead stomach.”
“Probably a genetic thing. There are no lightweights in my family.” She laughed and grabbed my hand, and I swiftly turned to latch on Cora’s, forcing her with me while forming a chain as Adira led us to an open log on the west side of the fire, with nothing but forest to our backs. I did my best not to think of camp monster stories but still ended up tilted on the makeshift seat so my peripheral could catch anything coming up behind us.
“How are you doing?” I asked Cora as she shimmied on the log, unable to get comfortable. “I know this isn’t really your scene.”
As if it was mine.
“It’s not the first time I have been dragged to one of these.” She smiled. “Plus, I like watching over you guys.”
“No, no, no, no, no!” Adira waved her hand at her and spoke in rapid succession. “Not that one!”
I looked back to see Adira trying to navigate Noah to the higher-shelved liquor someone hid under the table. He looked around him like he wasn’t sure she was finger commanding him, but after she threw up two fingers and then moved her hand down the line of us, there was no more denying that she was ushering him to bring us drinks we hadn’t asked for.
I choked on a laugh when from across the fire, I saw the whites of his eyes, putting an expert eye-roller to shame and started on two of the drinks, already knowing not to make one for Cora.
The vicious sound of drunk men hooting and slapping palms pulled my attention. My gaze trailed the people around me, landing on a group of friends I recognized from my senior class, some still looking to be there, unable to graduate after spending so much time chasing skirts instead of studying. I caught one of the last high-fives and looked to see whose arm it belonged to. I choked on my spit, coughing like I had been waterboarded right where I sat.
I punched my chest, and Cora smacked my back, trying to dislodge something that didn’t exist.
“Is that—” Adira spat her drink out before setting it on the ground and following my evil eye.
> “Yup.” I was curt. “Timmy, in all his glory.”
“Didn’t you have a run-in with him?” she asked, side-eyeing me as my gaze pierced him. I was sure he could feel the lasers I was shooting as he turned to look around him, ignoring his friend. When he locked his eyes with mine, I quickly broke away and turned toward Adira, pretending like I hadn’t just been caught.
“Something like that,” I said.
“You know, Daddy said he was in rehab,” she whispered even though there was no way Timmy could hear us from where he was standing.
“What?” I turned to her, shocked.
“Yeah, I guess his parents told Daddy about it while they were at the country club up north.” She shrugged. “But all rich people are drunks, in my opinion.”
I gave her a concerned look, but she waved it away as if I was just missing the humor. I used my foot to kick her drink behind me toward Cora, who followed my direction and made it disappear from view.
“Do you wanna leave?” Cora chimed in, seeing my face and probably hoping I’d say yes and she’d have an escape route.
“No,” I said just as Noah returned with our drinks. I kicked myself for not signaling him to ditch Adira’s elsewhere. “I’ll be fine. He’s just an ass.”
Noah handed me a cup that thankfully didn’t smell as foul as the one I’d tasted before. Adira greedily grabbed hers from his hand and took a long chug, her throat audible as she swallowed. Within a second, Adira had spat the contents out, the droplets steaming against the flame in front of us. Her face reddened as she choked like Noah had poisoned her drink.
“What is this?” She scoffed as soon as she got a hearty breath in. “Have you ever made a drink before?”
“I made yours strong,” he assured her, but she was already up and on her way to remake it. I laughed, taking a sip of my own and agreeing it was definitely on the stronger side.
“What was Adria’s drink?” I asked Noah while having to sip my drink to not gag.