by B. B. Palomo
I tugged the case out, the ones on top falling down neatly like a game of Tetris, ending up in better order than they started. When I peeled the lid from the box, a crinkled page with sequenced, handwritten dates lay centered on top. I’d expected something in the early nineteen hundreds, maybe the fifties, but each day ended in the worst year of my life. I didn’t know Ms. Jasmine was still archiving papers like this, and even though something in my brain yelled for me to mind my business, the curiosity effortlessly got the better of me.
I flipped through the months, and as I got closer to the most significant one for me, my heart quickened with the toll of keeping the memories at bay. I used my fingers to peel each end of the folder open, expecting to see the same reels as before, but it was empty. I yanked it free from the others, flipping it upside down like a woman gone mad, sure my eyes were deceiving me, and it was only stuck between the folds, but just as before, it didn’t change the truth. Suddenly, I wanted nothing more than to get far away from this room, something deep in my soul needing the space.
But the decision came much too late.
The door shut behind me, startling me back from the cabinet. I whipped around to see who had come in, but the room was still void of anyone other than myself. Prickly shivers spread as quickly as my unease when I went back to the door and tried the knob. I shook it, but it didn’t open, the cold metal not turning left or right as if someone was holding it from the other side. I tried more frantically as my fear deepened, and a bout of claustrophobia I’d never experienced before closed in. I slapped my palm against the heavy metal and called out to Ms. Jasmine for help, even though I knew the chances of her hearing me through her earphones were not good.
I built a scream in my lungs, inhaling deeply, hoping it would somehow reach her, but I deflated at the sound of a short, loud click.
I twisted around at the steady reeling of the film, each picture clicking into place against the opposite wall before moving on to the next slide. It started slow, each article staying for the same amount of time as the last, but soon it quickly picked up the pace. The circle knob twisted faster than any person could have turned it, moving through the event so fast the flash of the light made me dizzy. My heart picked up its rhythm as I approached the machine, the beat racing to keep up with the newspaper clippings. I bend down, yanking the thick black cord from the outlet, stopping the winding instantly.
Any relief I felt melted away as I stood to view an image that shouldn’t have been visible with the source of the machine’s power still in my hand. The reel had come to a standstill with a picture I’d never seen reflecting off the whites of the wall. I looked closer at the clip, even as everything in my body begged me to run. The article was positioned perfectly, not needing to be moved up or down, left or right. Centered in the middle was a picture of a car crash, one of the vehicles I recognized instantly. The article read Local Man Killed after Single Car Rollover. I leaned in, noting the small square out of an old photo of my dad toward the bottom of the article. He wore sunglasses that were pushed up onto the top of his hair, trapping his hair back and out of his eyes. He smiled big, only the top of his name visible on the patch of his shirt.
A warm tear slipped down my cheek, catching at the corner of my lips, the salt tickling my tongue. I moved over to the machine, the bulb’s reflection capturing on my shirt and sending the wall back to its normal, bland state. I pressed my finger to the hot screen, outlining Dad’s frame like the touch could bring me closer to him. The image glitched under my hand, lines splaying across the screen. I pounded the top of the device, praying it would help, begging for it to become clear once more. It didn’t matter that this covered the worst day of my life. At this moment, I needed to see him.
It’s your fault.
The whisper tingled in my ear, sending heat down my neck. My breath hitched as I jerked around to view the vacant spot, knowing that voice wasn’t in my head. The thoughts resembled my own, but the sound resonated as if the words had slithered from my brain and materialized next to me. My back pressed firmly into the sharp edges of the scanner behind me, trying to distance myself from whatever was with me. The air shifted around me. Turning frigid and vibrating with an angry exsufflation that came from nowhere and everywhere simultaneously.
I jumped to the side as the machine behind me started again, dropping the useless wire. The reel reversed through each article at lightning speed, only to then again pause on my dad’s story mockingly. I stepped back as the snapshot started to burn under the microscope, the yellow edging growing black as it spread across my dad’s face, moving until my back pressed against the opposite wall. A loud snarl rang out in my ears, forcing me to slam my palms over them to try and block it out as a strangled cry for help escaped my lips.
The lights cut out, casting me into all but darkness, the faint oranges and yellows of the machine being the only thing lighting my way. I blindly raced back to the entrance, ramming into a desk before toppling over the flimsy furniture. I took a stack of movies, overflowing from their box, down with me. They crashed over me, hard plastic edges biting into my skin as I landed in a heaping pile of mess. I could barely think. The overwhelming sounds and rancid smell of rotting eggs covering my senses, disorienting me.
I tried to push myself upright, but my feet couldn’t grip as I slid over the mess under me. An inky shadow grew from the corner of the room, illuminated by the burning reel, doubling in size as it sucked the air right from my lungs. My self-preservation dwindled as it stalked toward me, feeding on my life force. I worked to pull in the oxygen I needed, but the muscles in my chest wouldn’t move as I fell back, suffocating from fear. Darkness moved over me, wrapping around my limbs like tentacles, the feeling of death engulfing my body until all I could see was the pure embodiment of despair—where the remainder of my essence would call home.
The door flew open, taking the pressure of the room with it as if there was a seal to the evil that had just been surrounding me. Everything that had just been alive grew quiet with a suddenness that even made the person behind me shutter. I turned to look back at Ms. Jasmine, her frown deepening the age lines around her mouth. Her eyes bulged, scanning the area like she was trying to understand what had just happened, and that’s when I noticed her hair resettle against her shoulders like it had been blown back with force. I jerked my head back around, examining my surroundings. The mass that had just been threatening to send me to hell was gone, and now, the only thing visible was the mess I caused when I fell.
“Ms. Harper—”
I shot up from my spot and rammed past her, knocking into the frame in an effort not to run her over. She called out for me to stop, but I kept going, unwilling to be near that room ever again. This would probably cost me my job, but losing that was quickly looking to be the least of my worries. I didn’t need this so-called sight to know whatever that was—it was pure evil, and I’d been touched. The misery that swam in the black mist like a hurricane still clung to my skin, crawling over me like an unremovable mark of Satan himself. I could sense it, acutely aware whatever had just shadow kissed me didn’t want help from someone in the world of the living. It wanted my life, needed it to sustain its purpose.
I had barely pushed the front door open enough to slip through before I was hit by the angry pellets of rain from clouds that hadn’t been there at the start of my shift. I pulled my thin jacket in, but nothing was going to stop the water from soaking through the fabric except for the umbrella I never carried. I looked up and saw Noah. He stood with his back to me, a matte black umbrella held over his head, and as angry as I’d been before, I felt relieved to see anyone who would tell me I was alone and there wasn’t some ominous force anchored into my shoulder like it seemed.
I approached him, knowing he was here to try and explain himself even if I didn’t want to hear it, but still, a part of me felt like I’d been saved from what was after me. He was there, after all, with us as we opened a passageway for evil to sneak into our world, and
maybe if I shared what had just happened, I could gain insight on how to seal what we’d done. My resolve vanished, washed away like castles in the sand during a high tide as soon as I got close enough to see who was huddled under the umbrella with him.
Adira’s eyes were red-rimmed as she wiped the rain from the book she had clutched in her hand. The water turned the pages deep mustard as she shook it and herself off. She looked up at Noah and thanked him for the umbrella, surely saving her from becoming thoroughly drenched. The setting sun reflected against her face, making her even more beautiful than before.
I don’t know why I stood there and watched them, knowing they were clueless about my existence. It was no longer the ice-cold storm freezing my heart as the stain of the devil sank into my pores. No, it was the realization that even though Adira said she didn’t like Noah like that, the sparkle in her eyes said otherwise. Suddenly, everything about them was a lie, and I kicked myself for ever believing they were different from everyone else, that they loved me. I knew better now. How could that have ever been true when the nightmare I’d been convinced was no more than my mind playing tricks on me the night before was on display, right in front of me.
Jagged nails bit into the tender flesh of my palm, and even though I knew they were breaking the skin, I still squeezed harder until the subtle warmth of blood trickled from the crescent moon cuts. What I was running from was abruptly forgotten, replaced with murderous intent. All I wanted was to see them both drown, choke on the muddy water surrounding us while I watched their bodies grow as lifeless and cold as my heart.
I took a step forward, but something stopped me. Even to me, the extensive outline of the hand I felt was invisible, but it radiated warmth into my arm and broke me from my trance. I needed to get away. Something was very, very wrong with me. The impact of my shoes against the ground sent a puddle up my leg as I turned on my heel, soaking into the denim of my pants. I walked past them, fast, not bothering to acknowledge what was going on with them or myself for another moment.
“Willow?” Noah called out to me, but I had my gear shifted somewhere close to an Orange County mom run and quickly left them behind me.
“Willow!” Adira’s voice snuck up on me, and I cursed her career in cross country. “Stop!”
Her hand snuck out and gripped my arm to turn me to face her. The rain had completely soaked her clothes. The book was long forgotten and sitting back where she and Noah were just standing. Dark hair clung to her skin, the rain dripping off of her straight nose as she stared at me, unwilling to let me go.
“We’ve been waiting for you,” she spoke firmly, but her gaze searched mine, trying to understand what she was seeing. Fear rolled off of her, but it wasn’t the tremble in her knees giving it away. It was her scent. I could almost taste the bitter bite of unfamiliarity between the two of us. I took a step forward just as she took one back. My self-control was slipping.
I could just wrap my hands around that scrawny little neck. I would barely need to squeeze—
I ripped my arm from her hand and stepped back like she had scorched my skin. The intrusive thoughts zip-lined through my brain, their momentum growing in callousness. Noah had come up to stand next to her, which further ignited the flame that was already burning hot through my veins, leaving my tongue thick with words I’d never uttered before as they threatened to spew out like vicious vomit.
“Do you think I’m blind?” I spat out instead, needing to fill the air with anything other than the murderous intent slide showing in my mind. I couldn’t be sure I was the owner of the brooding voice that came from me, the sound foreign in my ears. Adira pulled back like I’d struck her. The words settling across her face in a confused expression. “I can see the way you’re looking at him. I know what you two are doing.”
“Willow, what the hell are you talking about?” Noah reached for me, but I quickly sidestepped his attempt, shaking with the restraint I didn’t think I had. I ignored their perplexed looks as if seeing a stranger, focusing instead on the fury in my skull that begged to be let free.
“You both deserve each other.” I looked him right in the eye before turning to leave, laughing at their dumbfounded expressions. Neither of them chased after me as they stood frozen, drenched by the storm, with the umbrella that had long been forgotten sitting, collecting water at Noah’s feet.
I am almost free.
Chapter Fifteen
Every inch of fabric protecting me from the elements was soaked. The sharp wind, unobstructed, whipped me as its course shifted from left to right. My bones ground with friction as I slapped one foot in front of the other, forcing myself home.
I’d lost most of my anger a mile ago, the frightening thoughts or murder quieting to a dull roar. In their place was the same splitting headache that had refused to let me go. Whatever had its hold on me had slithered back to its hiding place, waiting for the perfect time to return and wreak its havoc. I rubbed my shoulders, the weight of them like carrying wooden logs as my posture hunched to combat the discomfort.
By the time I’d made it home, my teeth chattered hard enough against each other, they could chip. Even as I stepped through the threshold and into the heat that had long been running in the house, the chill never entirely left me, instead receding just enough for my nose to lose the tinge of red and stop running. Spasms of agitation racked through my body as I tried to brace myself on the kitchen counter and calm the nerves in my stomach. The calming touch I’d felt at the library entrance had gone and left me scrambling not to succumb to the darkness enticing me down a deep rabbit hole.
“Willow.” A soft voice forced me to swing my head up.
“Cora.” I exhaled her name as a question. “What are you doing here?”
“I needed to check on you,” she said as if it was the most normal thing.
“I-I’m fine.” The words fumbled from my lips. “I don’t understand. How’d you get into my house? Don’t you have class or something?”
Cora opened her mouth to respond, but the doorbell rang, followed by frantic knocking. The urgency reminded me of someone trying to save a sleeping family from a house fire, but I stood still, hoping they’d give up and let me burn. I remained still, surprised that Cora also made no move to open it. After a moment, the knocking ceased and I breathed a sigh of relief that whoever was there, had gone.
Cora’s eyes grew round when the door handle rattled, turning and opening with ease since I never bothered to lock the door. I whipped my head around at the hushed voices sneaking in. Wet strands of my hair smacked me in the face with the motion, gluing themselves across my skin.
Noah and Adira, the accelerant to my blaze, kept their distance from each other as if they’d finally realized I knew about them. It made no difference in my mind. The damage had already been done. I took three giant steps back, retreating like a wounded animal with no escape as they approached.
“Why are you here?” I barked out and jabbed an incriminating finger in their direction. My voice was far away from my ears, confusing me as I glanced around, looking for its actual location. Adira took a quick step back, lips parted with unease, but Noah held his ground.
“Willow,” Noah spoke softly, his hands raised with palms facing out when I took another step back, trying not to frighten me off. “You’re not yourself.”
What did that mean? And why were they looking at me so strangely? They were the ones who were messed up. They were not themselves. Lying, cheating! They’d all hurt me, abandoned me when I needed them most.
Wolves in sheep’s clothing, all of them.
I’ll defend myself, even if it means spilling every last ounce of their blood.
I’d love to see the way it contrasts with the bright linoleum we stand on.
“Don’t you dare come near me,” I growled, bringing him to an immediate stop. “You’re both filth!” I swiveled my death glare to Adira, who flinched. “You both better get out of here if you know what’s good for you. I hope you’ll be happy toget
her.”
“Together?” Adira shook her head like she didn’t understand. “Willow, you have it all wrong.”
“Really?” I laughed harshly, the skin around my face taut. “So you call your friends in the middle of the night? I heard everything, so go ahead. Here’s your chance to tell me.”
Realization settled across their faces within seconds of each other. Adira looked on to Noah, but he didn’t turn to her, calculating what would keep me most calm.
“You misunderstood,” he spoke softly, pleading with me. “Yes, we were talking about you, but it was never about what you think. Willow, I love you—”
I scoffed, but Adira added quickly, “And so do I!”
“And with everything going on”—Noah gulped like he was afraid to say anything more—“we didn’t know how to tell you—”
“Tell me what?” I hissed.
“It’s Cora,” Adira cried, saving Noah from having to explain. “There was an accident on her vacation and—she didn’t make it, Willow.”
“You’re joking, right?” I laughed. “She’s standing right here and you think saying something so ridiculous will change what you did.”
“It’s true.” Noah shook his head, searching the space I’d just pointed to. “Her mom called Adira’s parents to tell them.”
“Cora.” I turned to her. “You’re not going to say anything?”