Now it was my turn to feel uncomfortable.
Nate narrowed his eyes at me. “Oh no, please don’t tell me you’re just doing it because you feel guilty.”
I avoided his gaze and stared intently at the wall behind him instead. “Weren’t you the one who told me to finally take that step with her?”
Nate let out an exasperated sigh. “Yeah, but not like that! Not because you feel like you owe her anything!”
“I don’t. I just want to…see how it will go, I guess. And, as you said, there’s no better person than Em for that.”
Nate rolled his eyes, knowing that he couldn’t change my mind about this even if he tried. “Okay, fine, whatever. Do it. But be careful, yeah?”
I looked back at Nate, who was wearing a resigned expression. “We don’t need to have the talk, Nate.” I laughed. “I’m good.”
“That’s not what I meant,” he said and added more quietly, “Be careful not to hurt her, alright? She’s my friend, too.”
I swallowed. “I know.”
Fortunately, our teacher’s arrival interrupted the conversation and Nate directed his attention towards functional equations instead of me and Emily.
***
“Hey, wake up, Sleeping Beauty,” someone whispered and nudged my shoulder. “Or do I have to kiss you first?”
I stirred up from my sleep, eyes snapping open just to see Hunter sitting next to me with his chin resting on his hand. The other hand laid on the back of my chair, and he pulled it back and pointed at the blackboard, where Mr. Smith was currently writing down the instructions for the experiment he had already prepared on the teacher’s desk.
A quick glance at the clock told me that I dozed off for more than fifteen minutes without anyone noticing.
“Why didn’t you wake me up earlier?” I asked and dropped my head back onto the desk.
I bet Hunter had been watching me and laughing his ass off next to me for the past few minutes.
“Well, it was quite an interesting sight. More interesting than Smith’s claptrap anyway. Plus, you looked like you needed that nap.”
Where he was right, he was right…Even after Hunter left last night, I wasn’t able to sleep for a while, so I had only slept for about two hours. Hunter, on the other hand, looked as flawless as always.
“Did I miss anything important?” I wanted to know.
Hunter just shrugged. “Not really. Just your girlfriend trying to wake you up from the other side of the classroom for the last ten minutes.” An amused grin spread across his face as he waved at Emily who was rolling her eyes at him.
I peeked around Hunter and smiled at her.
She pushed a dark curl behind her ear and grinned back.
“Aren’t you at least a little bit tired?” I asked as I turned back to Hunter.
“No. I’m used to not sleeping much.”
“Why?” I asked with a frown.
“Mainly because I usually have visitors over.” He laughed quietly as he saw me grimacing and then said, with a vague gesture, “Or because I’m out.”
“Doing what?”
He sent me a slightly amused look. “Nothing you would like.”
“How would you know?”
“Fine,” he said with a sardonic smile, just as the bell rang, signaling the end of the class. “You really wanna know?”
“Yes.”
“Good. I’ll pick you up someday, and you’ll see.”
Before I could protest, he got up and walked out. For a second, I was just staring after Hunter before I saw Emily waiting for me. I quickly collected all my stuff and walked up to her.
“Hey,” she said and hugged me tightly.
Mr. Smith, whose way we were blocking, cleared his throat behind me, so I quickly took a step towards Emily so he could get through. This resulted in me basically pushing Emily against the wall.
She smiled up at me. “How are you feeling?” she asked, still sounding worried.
I shrugged and buried my hands in the pockets of my jeans. “Alright, just tired.”
“I missed you.”
I laughed nervously. I never knew how to respond to that kind of stuff.
“Jules…Are you still angry at me?” she asked, biting her lip.
“Nate told me you were worried about that. Why would I be angry at you?”
She dropped her hands and twisted the ring on her finger; a habit she started back in sixth grade if I remember correctly. I gently took her hands to stop her from fidgeting.
“On the field trip, you know…I didn’t mean to leave you alone when you were drunk. It was my fault that you ran into the sea and got sick. I should’ve—”
“No, it wasn’t,” I said sternly. “It wasn’t your fault, Em. I chose to drink. It’s not your responsibility to look after me.”
“I haven’t finished yet. I’m also sorry for being so bitchy the next day. It’s just…” She shrugged helplessly. “I got jealous, I guess.”
For a moment, I was honestly convinced I didn’t hear her correctly. “What?”
“I got jealous! You know, Hunter is this…extremely good-looking, cocky, bisexual guy and he always knows what to say and…” She groaned quietly. “I always feel like a stupid little girl next to him. And when he looks at you like that…”
“Like what?” I blurted out.
She looked up with a grimace, trying to find the right words. “You know that kind of melancholic, awestruck feeling you get when you look at the stars on a cloudless night? That’s the way he looks at you.”
All I could do was stare, my mouth hanging open, as I tried to comprehend what she just said. When I noticed the awkward silence, I quickly cleared my throat.
“You were probably just imagining things. Hunter doesn’t look at anyone like that.”
Emily seemed like she wanted to object, but then she just shrugged, linked arms with me, and dragged me towards the school’s doors.
“Anyway. That was our last class, so…Do you want to hang out at my place or something?”
“Or something,” I said with a broad grin. “I actually thought we could go to mine today.”
Emily looked curious as to why I was smiling like that but only said, “Alright, I don’t mind. Did you come here with Froggy?”
“Nope. Mom drove me here.”
“Okay.” She laughed and fished her keys out of her purse.
Soon after, we were driving down the tree-lined roads and eventually stopped in front of my house.
“Wait here,” I said and gave her a short kiss before I got out of the car and ran up to the front door.
Inside, I quickly prepared everything, then I returned. Being the gentleman I was, I opened the car door for her.
“Jules, what is all of this about?” she asked curiously as I dragged her inside.
“You’ll see.” I smiled at her over my shoulder.
When we arrived at the door to my room, I pushed it open and let her enter before me.
Her smile widened along with her eyes as she saw the room.
The sun was already setting, and the light coming through the window tinted everything golden. Quiet music was playing, and it smelled like vanilla because of the scented candle I had lit on my nightstand. There were dozens of blankets and pillows on the bed, looking pretty inviting.
The atmosphere was supposed to be calming, yet there was a nervous feeling building up in my stomach. Not the good kind, but an anxious, uneasy feeling.
I looked over at Emily seeing her look at the scene before her in awe. Before I could even open my mouth to say something, she crossed the short distance between us and kissed me. The kiss was alright. It tasted sweet because of her chapstick.
Emily didn’t bother with it for too long before she maneuvered us towards the bed and pulled me on top of it.
“And you’re sure you’re okay with this?” she asked breathlessly and searched my eyes for any sign of rejection.
My breath caught in my throat for a second.
But now it just seemed cruel to pull back. So I settled on nodding and pulled her in for another kiss. After a few minutes, her hands slid off my neck and down my chest. I shivered lightly as her cold hand slipped under my shirt. Seconds later, she pulled it over my head, discarding it.
So far, I was surprised by how unspectacular everything was. My heart rate was normal again, and I was feeling fine. Kissing her for minutes on end was kind of boring, but it gave me enough time to mentally prepare myself for what was about to happen, even though I still couldn’t believe I was actually going through with this.
My thoughts were interrupted as she started to unbutton her blouse. Her fingers were shaking so much that eventually, I undid the last couple buttons. She shrugged it off her shoulders and revealed a baby blue bra.
I leaned back to really look at her for a moment. She looked pretty right now, with her hair kind of messy, a faint blush on her cheeks, and the content smile on her lips. Most boys probably envied me for having her as a girlfriend. To me, she still looked like the girl I played hide and seek within first grade after we got married in kindergarten.
“What? Are you just going to stare at me?” She laughed and moved her hand to where the button of my jeans was.
She looked up at me as if she was asking for permission. I nodded slightly and let her pull my jeans all the way down.
Emily yelped quietly as I suddenly flipped us around so that I was now on top of her. I took a nervous breath and undid her jeans until we were both left in only our underwear.
For a second, I felt like I might faint. My head was spinning, and I had trouble breathing, but I quickly calmed down as Emily took my chin into her hand and made me look at her.
“It’s alright, Jules. Don’t worry. It’s just me.”
She was right. I had known her since what felt like forever. We grew up together and had been a couple for over a year. I had nothing to lose, not with her. She had always been there for me, making sure I was feeling alright, and that was what she was doing right now. I could tell that she was trying hard to make this less scary.
“I love you,” I whispered and kissed her again, even though my lips already felt sore.
Emily smiled encouragingly and gently took my hands, guiding them to the bra clasp at her back. I carefully undid it.
Afterward, everything went really quick. The rest of our clothes dropped to the floor, plastic wrap crinkled, and minutes later, there was nothing but Emily; her skin under my hands, her lips on mine, her voice as she whispered my name while my heart skipped a beat, and I saw stars exploding in my vision.
I was off in some kind of daydream all the way through it. Everything about this experience was strange and felt weird and was not a single bit like I had imagined it.
***
“Jules,” a voice whispered next to me, and a hand lightly caressed my cheek.
I opened my eyes sleepily. It took me a moment to understand why Emily and I were lying in bed, naked. Emily smiled brightly at me when I rolled onto my side to look at her.
By now, the sun had set, and the room was getting dark. The candle on the nightstand was still burning though.
I pulled the blanket down just a bit and sucked in some air through my teeth as the cold hit my chest. Under the blanket was cozy and warm, but outside it was cold.
After we did it, we cuddled and had fallen asleep. Now that she woke me up, I was more than a little disoriented.
“Jules, I think your parents just came home,” Emily said.
She still seemed to be on cloud nine. I, however, kind of crashed down onto the ground as soon as it was over.
I had always imagined it to be different, more…special. It felt alright, but I hadn’t been able to fully give into it. Because even while we were doing it, I still felt uneasy and uncomfortable.
“Shit,” I whispered and quickly got out of the bed.
Emily did the same, and we hastily got dressed.
“Did you…like it?” I asked her when we were standing in front of the mirror and quickly fixed our messed-up hair.
Emily grinned at me in the mirror. “Yeah, it was really good.”
I nodded, offering her a small smile.
“I better go now. See you tomorrow,” she said.
After a fleeting kiss on my cheek, she left the room and ran down the stairs. I could hear her saying something to my parents, but it was too muffled for me to understand anything. Eventually, I heard the front door shut and the sound of her car driving down the road.
I didn’t go downstairs to say hello to my parents. Instead, I stayed up in my room all evening, needing some time to think about what had happened and to understand the weird feeling in my stomach.
Chapter 15
Six hours after Emily left, I was still wide awake and lying in bed. It was 2:00 am by now, and I honestly didn’t know what to do with myself. Thoughts and too much adrenaline were keeping me awake. I replayed the day’s events over and over in my head, without being able to make any sense of them.
What I needed the most right now was someone to talk. My parents would probably faint if I told them about it, so that was not an option. Emily would only be hurt if I told her about my feelings on that matter. So Nate was pretty much the only one who I could talk to about everything.
The bed creaked softly as I rolled onto my stomach and grabbed my phone from the nightstand. For a second, I blinked into the bright light of my display, but after I dimmed the brightness, I was able to search my contact list for Nate.
I quickly typed a text, asking him if he could call me in case he was still up.
Just about a minute later, he replied.
R u alright? You can come over if you want.
I wasn’t surprised that he was still awake, seeing as he rarely went to bed before 2:00 am. His offer to come over to my house wasn’t unexpected either. I had done that a couple times already. It was easy to leave through my window, and my parents never noticed that I wasn’t at home in the morning because they usually left before I got up.
After agreeing to go over to his place, I grabbed my school bag and the sports bag I’d need for school tomorrow. Then I put on a jacket over my hoodie and decided my sweatpants would be fine.
When I had everything packed, I turned off the lights, walked up to the window, and opened it. Like Hunter did the other day, I swung my legs out and slid towards the very edge. First, I threw my bags out of the window. Then, as soon as I heard them hitting the ground, I jumped.
I landed softly in the grass, feeling just a tiny bit like a ninja, and glanced over at my dark window. It was still half-open since I wasn’t able to close it, but that should be fine until tomorrow. It had never been a problem before.
The rest was pretty easy. I just had to cross the garden, leave the property, and get to my car that was parked on the street.
After getting inside Froggy, I started the engine and left the house behind as quickly as possible, hoping the sound of the starting car wouldn’t be enough to wake my parents up. On the other hand, it was too late for them to do anything about it anyway because I was already passing by Hunter’s house.
I instinctively looked over at it. In one of the windows facing the street, I could see soft light through the closed curtains. I briefly wondered if that was Hunter’s room and what he was doing right now.
A glance at the white sports car parked in the driveway answered my question.
Just a few days ago, I saw Victoria getting out of it on the school parking lot. Grimacing slightly, I looked back at the road ahead of me, pushing away any thoughts of Victoria and Hunter and the things they were undoubtedly up to right now.
Luckily, I arrived at Nate’s house just then and couldn’t think about it any longer. I pulled up to the curb and got out, taking my bag with me.
Nate lived in a nice, small house in a nice, tree-lined road with nice, friendly neighbors who were too polite
to complain about the loud heavy metal music that was constantly blasting out of his window.
Before I could even lift my hand to knock at the door, Nate was already opening it and pulling me inside. While he was locking the door behind us, I kicked my shoes off my feet and took off my coat.
Nate waited silently until I was done before we climbed the stairs up to the floor where his parent’s room and the bathroom were. There was a large guest room too. It used to be Nate’s older sister’s, Rebecca, room before she moved out. Now she stayed there whenever she came home to visit her family.
Nate’s room was located on the next floor. Technically, it was a large attic, but it was nicely done up. Under the high-roof pitches were a queen-size bed, a wardrobe, a desk that was buried under magazines and papers, two beanbag chairs, and a record player.
Yep, one of those old things that played vinyl. Next to it was an entire shelf just dedicated to rock records. Nate loved that retro stuff. He even owned a typewriter, just for the aesthetic.
Pretentious idiot.
But his pride and joy was his electric guitar that was currently lying on his bed. I carefully placed it down on the floor so I could sit on the mattress.
Nate slumped into one of his beanbag chairs and sent me a curious glance. “So, what’s this all about?” When I didn’t answer for a minute, he asked, “Did something happen this afternoon?”
I let myself fall onto my back with an exhausted sigh and draped one arm across my eyes to block the dim light coming from the lamp on his bedside table.
“No. Yeah. I don’t know.” I sighed again. “It was just not how I thought it’d be.”
“What do you mean? Was it not good?”
I thought about that for a moment. “Uhm…not really, no. I mean, it wasn’t horrible either. But it was uncomfortable and weird.”
“I heard that it’s like that for most people when they have their first time, though.” Nate pointed out. “Or maybe you weren’t doing it, right? Maybe, like, ask someone who has experience with it how to—”
“Hey, this is serious okay?” I interrupted him. “I’m trying to figure…something out.”
Why You Shouldn't Lend A Bad Boy Your Clothes Page 11