After I settled down, I took my sketchbook out and began to draw. It was something that calmed me down and cleared my head, which was something I craved right now. But after about a minute, the door suddenly burst open. I looked up, startled at the loud noise and ready to tell whoever it was to get out, but I immediately closed my mouth when I saw Hunter standing in the doorway.
His cheeks were slightly red, his hair tousled. He wasn’t smiling or grinning or even looking remotely friendly. He looked ready to strangle someone, though I wasn’t sure if it was me he was angry at.
My heart rate sped up as he closed the door behind him and came towards me. He stopped right in front of me and just looked at me for a second before he said, “We need to talk.”
I set the sketchbook and my pencil down on the windowsill next to me, stalling and not looking at him. Then I quietly said, “I don’t want to.”
“Why not?” His voice was thick with frustration and anger and something else I couldn’t figure out. “Why are you avoiding me?”
I ran a hand through my hair before I dropped it into my lap. “Because people know now. The video, it’s…It shows everything I’ve been trying to hide. Now it’s out in the open, even though I haven’t even fully accepted everything yet. I feel like they’re all monitoring me, waiting for us to do something in public.” I finally looked him in the eye. “I don’t want to be known as another one of your toys. I don’t want to be known as the naive boy in the closet who had a crush on Hunter Adams and honestly thought he had a chance with him.”
Hunter looked taken aback. His eyes were wide in surprise because of the honesty he probably didn’t expect. His voice was hoarse when he asked, “Is that really what you feel like? What you think this is?”
“I don’t know what this is,” I said.
Hunter’s eyes softened as he stepped forward and closed the small distance between us. “I’m sorry about how things worked out. But I don’t care what the others think, what they talk. All I care about is what you think.” He exhaled and dropped his head so I couldn’t see his face. “We didn’t talk for, like, a week, but I’m already missing you. It’s never been like this before. I kind of wish it wasn’t because it would make everything so much easier.”
It was the vulnerability, the rawness of his voice that managed to tear the last shred of my self-control apart. Before I could think about it, my hands shot forward and lightly cupped his face, making him look at me. His lips were slightly parted as he studied me.
“I know,” I muttered. “I know how it feels. And I’m not angry at you. I’m just…scared, I guess.”
“Scared of what?”
“Scared of how things between us will go. And of what the others will think if they see us together.”
Hunter’s eyes widened a little. “So you’re saying you’ll talk to me again? Even at school?”
I thought about it for a moment. Then I nodded. “Yes. But not more than talking, okay?”
He nodded, almost triumphantly, and said, “Thank God. I’ve already been planning how to climb through your window when you’re asleep and tie you down so you’ll have to listen to me.”
I rolled my eyes and let go of his face. “Yeah, I bet you’d like that.”
Hunter laughed before he became serious again. “Hey, do you know who posted that video?”
“It was Sean,” I said, not even trying to hold that information back.
Maybe Hunter was going to punch his teeth out. I didn’t mind if he did.
“Of course, it was him,” he growled. “I should’ve known. I’m going to make him take the video down from the internet.”
“You can try, but I don’t think it’ll be easy,” I muttered. Glancing at the clock on the wall, I groaned. “And I have to go to my next class now…Are you coming too?”
Hunter nodded, and after I grabbed my stuff, we left the room together.
We didn’t get far. As soon as I stepped into the corridor, I saw Emily coming towards us. Hunter nearly ran into me as I came to a sudden stop. Emily spotted me almost immediately.
Flinching slightly at the sight of me, she started to walk faster when suddenly a loud voice said, “Look at that. She can’t even look her asshole of an ex-boyfriend in the eye anymore.”
Emily paused and spun around to see who said that.
I did the same, my eyes quickly landing on Sean. He was grinning widely, leaning against a locker on the opposite side of the hallway.
“Sorry? What did you say?” Emily asked calmly.
I knew that tone. She was angry but tried not to let it show and intimidate her opponent with composure.
“Oh, you heard me,” Sean said and stepped towards us. “You know, I get why you’re pissed. I would be, too. He just broke up with you and replaced you with Hunter, a boy he knows he can never have…Yet he continues to run after him. It’s quite pathetic, isn’t it?”
Hunter was trying to get past me and walk up to Sean, but I held him back, holding onto his sleeve. Sean watched with an amused expression.
Emily narrowed her eyes at him, one hand clenched into a fist at her side. “I’m not angry at Jules,” she then said and flicked a look at me. I believed her the second our eyes locked. “Why would I be mad at him? Just because he’s honest with me?”
Sean cocked a brow. “Really? That’s what you’re trying to tell yourself? Adorable. Honestly, it’s so sweet how you still love him so much and try to defend him, even though he was the one who broke your heart.”
“Of course, I’m sad,” she said. “But sadness doesn’t equal hate, and a broken heart doesn’t justify revenge. Which is something especially you should think about.” She nodded as she saw Sean’s eyes widening. “Yes, I know that it was you who filmed the video, Sean. I watched it.”
“And even after watching it you’re not mad?” Sean asked doubtfully.
Emily shook her head. “No, I’m not. On the contrary, I’m happy for Jules. Believe it or not.” Her lips curled into a timid smile as her gaze flickered over to me again.
I couldn’t help but smile back, feeling like a huge weight was lifted off my chest.
“And you, Hunter? Are you happy, too?” Sean asked and focused on Hunter now. “Happy to have a new toy to amuse yourself with?”
Hunter now brushed my hand off and stepped forward. “I will happily knock you out if you keep talking like this.”
“What? Didn’t you like the video I took of you?” Sean asked, feigning astonishment. “Oh, I know. You’re embarrassed about being seen with Jules, aren’t you?”
Hunter frowned, genuinely confused. “Why would I be ashamed of that?”
“Just look at him,” Sean said and waved a hand at me. “He’s not nearly as good-looking as all the others you’ve dated before. He’s inexperienced and problematic and definitely won’t be able to fulfill your needs—”
“Oh my God. Are you really this shallow? You think this is all just about sex?”
“When is something not for you?” Sean retorted. “What I’m saying is that he doesn’t deserve you. He’s just a stupid little twink, and he’ll be of no interest for you once you got him into bed, simply because—”
He didn’t get to finish the sentence when he got pushed hard against the lockers behind him. There was a loud bang as his body collided with the metal, and his breath got knocked out of him. Sean recovered quickly and pushed himself off the lockers to take a swing at Hunter. Hunter managed to block the first two punches, but the third one struck his face. He stumbled back and cursed under his breath, then he punched Sean right in the stomach.
A crowd quickly gathered to watch and cheer for either of them. People were blocking my way as I tried to get to Hunter. Sean was panting and bending over, but he quickly straightened himself and lunged out for Hunter again.
They both took a few more hits, though Sean obviously was the more inexperienced fighter until I managed to get to them.
When Hunter cornered Sean and was ready to knock him
senseless, I pulled him back and pushed him against the wall. I used all my body weight to pin him against it, holding onto both of his shoulders and trapping him underneath me.
“Calm down,” I muttered. “That’s enough. You’re…you’re bleeding.”
Hunter finally stopped trying to push me off him and let his head fall against the wall instead. “He deserved it.”
“You don’t need to beat someone up just because they say something mean about me,” I said, breathing heavily from my efforts to hold him back.
Hunter snorted and impatiently wiped some of the blood that was trickling out of his nose away with the back of his hand. I felt the familiar queasy feeling I always got when I saw blood and quickly looked into his eyes instead.
“What am I supposed to do when you’re not even trying to defend yourself? Sean doesn’t understand boundaries until someone shows them to him.”
“I can handle it,” I said firmly.
He was silent for a moment. Then he suddenly asked, a crooked grin forming on his face. “Hey, do you think I’ll look hot with a black eye?”
I huffed, letting go of him. “You’ll look like an idiot who was stupid enough to get into a fight because he has no self-control.”
Hunter shrugged, still grinning and was about to say something when the voice of a teacher cut in.
“Thank you, Julian, but I’ll take it from here. Hunter, please come to the principal’s office with me.”
I turned around to look at the teacher in front of me and moved away from Hunter.
He just flashed her a smile and saluted her with two fingers. “Why certainly, ma’am.”
She glared at him, entirely unimpressed before she led him and Sean away.
***
Fifteen minutes later, I was sitting on one of the chairs in front of the principal’s office. To my surprise, Emily had joined me, though we hadn’t really talked at all since we got there.
“Do you think he’ll get into trouble?” she now asked.
“I have no idea,” I said. “Probably not. Hunter will talk his way out of this.”
We were silent for a few more minutes before I cleared my throat and said, “What you said to Sean…Did you mean it?”
She looked up from her phone. “That I’m happy for you and not angry?”
I nodded.
“At first, I was mad. And hurt. But I know why you did what you did. I understand now.” She hesitated, choosing her next words carefully. “I’m also kind of proud of you for having the courage to come out to me. I know that probably wasn’t easy.”
My breath caught in my throat at that, and for a few seconds, all I could do was smile at her.
“Hey…Do you think we can hang out again sometime?” Emily then asked. “I miss talking to you.”
My smile grew even wider. “Yeah…I think I’d like that.”
The door of the office opened, and Hunter walked out, Sean following behind him.
I quickly got to my feet and waited for Sean to be out of earshot. “How did it go?”
Hunter shrugged. “They lectured me about how violence on school grounds will not be tolerated and that I’ll get detention for it. Oh, by the way, I told them you were the reason I punched Sean, so you’ll have to go to detention with me. I thought that’d be fun.”
I glared at him. “You didn’t.”
He sighed. “No, I didn’t. It would’ve been hilarious though.”
“Not really.” I snorted. “Did Sean get punished, too?”
“Yeah, and he got it way worse because I told them about the video.” When he saw my shocked expression, he quickly added, “I didn’t tell them what it was about, only that Sean took it without permission and sent it around to harm you. He’s suspended for a week and has to delete it from the internet.”
I sighed, relieved. “Thank you.”
Hunter just smiled at me and nodded towards the exit. “Anyway, we’ve already missed half of the class, so…wanna skip the rest, too?”
“And actually risk another hour of detention? No, thank you,” I said.
“Always such a buzzkill.” Hunter sighed, but there was an affectionate undertone to his voice. “Okay then. See you tonight.”
Before I could protest, he had already turned around.
“Looks like you have a date tonight.” Emily commented.
I was surprised to see that she was smiling, not looking even a little bit hurt or angry.
“Yeah,” I muttered, shaking my head slightly as I watched Hunter disappear behind a corner. “Looks like it.”
Chapter 22
Hunter kept his word. Uninvited and without further agreement, he sent me a message around midnight, telling me to come outside, just as I was about to get ready for bed.
I had already thought that what he said at school was a joke and that he wouldn’t actually come. But when I looked outside my window, I saw his car parked right outside my house. His window was rolled down, and when he saw me, a smirk flickered across his features.
I held back a smile and settled for rolling my eyes at him instead. Then I pulled the curtains close and quickly changed into jeans and put on a denim jacket over my white t-shirt.
Three minutes later, I left the house as quietly as possible, dreading the thought of my parents waking up and catching me sneaking outside in the middle of the night. I shuddered as the cold air hit me and jogged over to the car, where I opened the door to the passenger side and swiftly got inside.
Hunter was awaiting me with a grin, his dark hair looking as if he just got up. His lower lip was still split open, and he had a black eye from his fight with Sean, but he was right. It did look good on him.
“What would you have done if I hadn’t come?” I asked instead of a greeting.
“I knew you would,” Hunter answered lightly without the trace of doubt in his tone.
I shook my head slightly and slumped deeper into the seat. “Where are we going?”
Hunter hesitated for a moment, then he said, “Remember how you asked me what I was doing at nights? I told you that you wouldn’t like it, but you wanted to see. So…I’m going to show you.”
“We’re not going to a brothel, are we?” I asked worriedly.
“Jesus, you really don’t think too highly of me, do you?” Hunter laughed. “Of course not.”
I was more relieved than I cared to show. “Okay. Why now?”
Hunter shrugged, trying to look casual, but there was a look of weariness on his face that betrayed his efforts. “Well, I thought, since we can’t really do much together at school, we have to make the most with the rest of our time.”
I was silent for a moment and looked out of the window. I was so focused on Hunter that I hadn’t noticed we were already driving. Outside, the lonely alleys were gliding by, a blurred mix of dark and shadows, only disturbed by some stray lights flickering in the windows of the restless.
In the silence of the night, it seemed like Hunter and I were the only people like no one else was up and living. I decided that I liked the thought.
“You’re quiet.” Hunter pointed out as we left the city behind us. “Are you alright?”
“Hm?” I asked, startled.
It wasn’t very common for someone to ask me that and even fewer times when they were genuinely worried like Hunter was right now. People usually didn’t want an honest answer when they asked how you were.
“Yeah…yeah. I’m just thinking.”
Hunter relaxed noticeably. A smile danced around the corner of his mouth. “You think quite a lot, don’t you?”
“You say that like it’s something bad,” I said.
“Oh, I’m sure it’s not.” Hunter laughed. “People keep telling me I should do it more often. But maybe you should do it just a little less.” He was quiet for so long that I didn’t expect him to explain further, but eventually, he did. “You don’t have to overthink everything a hundred times before doing it. And you don’t have to be sure about everything, especiall
y not yourself. It’s okay to not have everything figured out, and it’s okay to do something just because you want to.”
I looked out of the window, biting my lip. My hands were clasped together tightly in my lap. “Hunter, if this is about my sexuality again…” I broke off. “I know that it’s not necessary to be one hundred percent sure about it, but I want at least some certainty. It feels like I don’t know who I am anymore and it’s…scary.”
“I know,” Hunter said quietly. “But sooner or later you’ll become more certain about it. Or it won’t matter at all. To me, it doesn’t.”
I glanced at him and took a deep breath. “Hunter? How did you know you’re bisexual?”
He shrugged, not at all rattled by the question. “When I was fourteen, I started noticing girls for the first time. Then I noticed boys.” An amused chuckle tumbled from his lips.
“Before then, it had never occurred to me that I might be interested in boys, too. But after a while of considering it and paying more attention, I came to the conclusion that I am. When I was fifteen, I had my first girlfriend,” he said and drew quotation marks with one hand.
“We kissed twice, and even though it wasn’t great and full of sticky lip gloss, I liked it. A few months later, I played spin the bottle on my cousin’s birthday party, and I had to kiss a boy. I had never seen him before and never again afterward. It felt good, natural. Not that different from when I had kissed girls. That’s when I started dating girls and boys, and it didn’t matter to my friends or anyone in my family. I’ve never really bothered with…I don’t know, picking sexuality or labeling myself as bisexual. It came naturally.”
I nodded slowly, surprised by how willingly he recounted everything to me. “So what you’re trying to say is that I should stop thinking about it and just make my own experiences until I know?”
“I guess so.” He laughed. Then he pointed at something ahead of us. “We’re here.”
“We are?” I asked cautiously as I stared outside.
Why You Shouldn't Lend A Bad Boy Your Clothes Page 19