Her voice was quiet and high when she said, “I’m very sorry, Juley.”
My eyes widened in surprise. Those were words I hadn’t expected to hear, especially not out of her mouth. I almost smiled, incredulous and relieved beyond words. Maybe the days of tense silence were ending sooner than I had thought.
“I’m very sorry that you had to choose this way.” Mom suddenly continued in the same gentle voice. “I always thought we had taught you well.”
Her words felt like a punch in the stomach. I automatically stumbled a few steps back, and her hand dropped down limply.
“Mom?” I cursed myself for the weakness in my voice and the hurt in it. I shouldn’t have expected anything else.
She looked at me sadly, tears already starting to fill her eyes. “Juley, don’t you understand? What you’ve been doing, that’s not you. It’s not God’s view. It’s unnatural—”
Anger was burning in my chest, yet my voice continued sounding soft and defeated. “Mom, when will you see that you can’t excuse your wrong views with religion? Just because—”
“Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God,” Mom chanted, her lower lip quivering.
“But isn’t love the highest virtue for Christianity?” I answered. “You shall love your neighbor as yourself. Isn’t that what you always told me?”
Mom looked almost embarrassed for a second, but then she shook her head and whispered, “But how am I supposed to love a sinner? If you would just come to your senses and realize that this is not what the Lord wants, there may be redemption…”
“Mom, I…I didn’t choose this,” I muttered, willing her to listen to me just this once. “It’s not something I can change, not even if I wanted to.”
My mom opened her mouth, but all that came out was a strangled sob as she wiped tears away with the back of her hand.
Dad came down the stairs just in that instant, eyeing me with a dirty look. “Now look what you’ve done!” he exclaimed and wrapped an arm around my mom’s shoulders, not noticing the way she winced when he touched her. “This is what you’re doing to your mother. Every damn night she’s crying her eyes out because of you!”
I recoiled, unable to look away from my mom’s tear-streaked face. Before I could reply, I heard a ring at the door. When I turned around to ask my parents, I saw my mother quickly disappearing into the kitchen, sniffling quietly, while my dad’s lips twisted into a thin smile.
“Go get Maya,” he said, waving a hand at me. “We have a special guest over for dinner tonight.”
I huffed but didn’t try to object. Instead, I rushed past my dad and up the stairs to Maya’s room. Her door was slightly ajar, revealing pink walls and carpets and loads of toys all over the floor. Maya was perching on her bed, humming quietly to herself while she combed her doll’s hair. When she saw me peeking into the room, her small face immediately lit up.
I immediately smiled back. “Are boys allowed in here?”
Maya seemed to think hard for a moment before she nodded. “Where were you?” she asked, sticking her lower lip out in what must’ve been the world’s most adorable pout.
Of course, I knew what she meant by that. Since I’d been trying hard to avoid my parents, I hadn’t really seen her all week since she was with them almost all the time.
“Sorry. I didn’t have much time,” I said, feeling guilty as I looked at her.
She nodded and threw her doll to the floor, apparently losing interest in playing.
“Maya, we have a guest,” I said. “Do you want to say hello?”
Again, she nodded, eagerly this time and stretched her arms out for me to carry her. I laughed a little and bent down to pick her up. Maya could walk very well on her own, but she was the laziest four-year-old I had ever met.
She squealed a little as I spun around a few times, holding her up high. Then I propped her up on my hip and walked down the stairs with her. Halfway down the staircase, I heard a voice at the door that made me freeze in my tracks.
“We’re so glad that you followed our invitation. I can’t even repeat too many times how grateful we are for your help in this case…”
“Oh, no worries, Mr. Hatcher,” Victoria chirped in a sickeningly sweet voice. “I couldn’t miss out on this now, could I? Oh, hi, Jules!”
I gritted my teeth as I walked down the rest of the steps. Victoria was standing in the door, next to my dad, and smirked at me when she saw me. She was probably wearing less revealing clothes I had ever seen on her—jeans and a long-armed red turtle-neck, making her look much more mature, which was probably what she had been aiming for.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, not even trying to sound friendly.
“Victoria will be dining with us tonight to inform us on your…progress,” Dad answered with a self-satisfied smile.
If I hadn’t been carrying Maya, I probably would’ve slapped someone in the face by now. “Fine, do whatever you want. I’ll be in my room.”
Dad shook his head and glared at me. “No, you won’t. You’ll be sitting with us, and you’ll behave.”
Victoria grinned widely.
This had to be her absolute dream come true: me being mocked by my parents, who absolutely adored her, and I was unable to do anything about it. She was intruding in my home, my personal life, and was in a position where I could do absolutely nothing about it.
Maya was tugging at the front of my shirt before I could shoot back. I looked down at her frowning face. She stretched a little so that she could cling onto my shoulder with one hand while she whispered into my ear, “Who is the rude lady?”
I snorted. “That’s Victoria. She’s…a meanie.”
Maya nodded knowingly and peeked over her shoulder at Victoria, sticking her tongue out at her. I couldn’t deny that I was a little proud of her.
Victoria scrunched up her nose, looking like she smelled something bad. “Your little sister, Jules? How…adorable.”
“That is Maya, our youngest,” Dad said proudly. “Alright then, dinner should be ready by now. Come on into the kitchen!”
Victoria thanked him with her never-ending nice smile and entered the kitchen before me. Mom was currently dishing up steak and potatoes with rosemary.
“Oh, hello Victoria!” Mom chimed happily and hugged her.
All traces of tears were gone from her face by now.
I looked away as Victoria wrapped her arms around my mother in turn, smirking at me over her shoulder. My parents acted like she was their child, not me, which was probably what they would’ve actually preferred.
Victoria sat down on my dad’s left, my usual seat. I swallowed down the bitter taste of jealousy along with all words of protest and set Maya down on a chair. Then I sunk onto the chair right next to Maya.
Mom served everyone except me, so I helped myself to potatoes.
Meanwhile, Dad turned to Victoria and said, “So, Victoria, tell us a little. Has Jules had contact with Hunter at school?”
Victoria looked over at me, clearly enjoying herself. I looked back coldly, even though my heart was racing. She couldn’t know that we were talking again, could she? “No, he hasn’t. But I believe that’s just a matter of time.”
My parents nodded sadly. “It’s true. He lets temptations have the best of him,” Dad said.
I felt my grip around my fork tightening as I stared down at my plate, trying not to listen.
“It’s quite sad.” Victoria sighed, faking sorrow. “How he can’t even see that someone like Hunter will never stick around.”
“What do you mean?” Mom asked worriedly.
“Well, it’s not exactly a secret that Hunter…comes around quite a lot. I don’t think he’d be able to stay with Jules, even if he wanted to. Getting someone to sleep with him is like a game for him, and once he accomplished it, he moves on to the next
.”
I looked up only to glare at her. “You forgot about that when you practically threw yourself at him, huh?”
“Be quiet, Julian,” Dad hissed through gritted teeth. “Your wrong acquaintances really changed you. A few weeks ago, you didn’t talk like that.”
“Maybe because a few weeks ago I didn’t have to constantly listen to your insults and stupid opinions on something that I can’t change! What am I supposed to do, sit here and be happy to be treated like I committed a crime or something?” I asked incredulously.
Dad stared at me with a hard expression on his features. “You’re supposed to behave and understand that this is just a phase and that you’ve been misled by a confused teenage boy!”
I snorted and got up from the table with so much force that I sent the chair scraping across the floor loudly. “Okay, that’s it. I’m done. If I have to listen to this for one more minute, I might throw up.”
Ignoring my parents’ protests, I walked out of the room and continued up the stairs when I suddenly heard another pair of feet behind me. Turning around, I saw Victoria following me with a smug look on her face.
“Now, that was highly entertaining. Is that how you always talk to your parents?”
I was tempted to push her down the stairs. Instead, I said, “Not before you came and ruined it all. Are you happy now?”
She shrugged. “It’s not really my problem, is it? When I go home tonight, my parents will be there and ask me about my day. My mom will make me hot chocolate, and we will watch TV together. Then I will go to my room and call my friends while I do my nails. It will be a good day, except for one thing. I will not be able to go to Hunter at night. I won’t be with the man of my dreams and all because of you.” She was silent for a moment, her lips breaking into a cruel smile. “But I will know that you…You won’t have any of that. Your parents won’t even listen to you. You’ll never meet Hunter again. So yeah, you could say I’m happy.”
For a second, I was rendered speechless. The sheer amount of hatred in her words was too much for me to comprehend.
We had come to a halt at the top of the stairs during her speech. Now she shoved me aside and pushed past me, looking down the corridor, probably to find my room. When she couldn’t figure out where it was, she walked up to the very first door next to the stairs.
I immediately darted towards her and gripped her upper arm, dragging her away from the room. “Don’t touch that door,” I hissed.
Victoria rubbed her arm with a glare in my direction but continued to strut down the corridor. Before I could stop her, she opened the door to my room, grinning victoriously as she entered.
I groaned and followed her inside.
“Wow, your room is even more boring than I had expected,” she said.
“And why would I care what you think about my room?” I snapped and flopped down on my bed.
She didn’t reply. Instead, she began digging through the stuff on my desk. I didn’t really care. There were a few sketches and some schoolwork, nothing interesting. Except for…
“Now, what’s this?” Victoria asked triumphantly as she held up the portrait of Hunter I had drawn all those weeks ago before we went to that gay club. That evening felt like it happened years ago. “Well, that is…” she said and suddenly ripped the picture in half without hesitation. “Adorable.”
I got up from my bed and picked up the pieces she dropped to the floor. Then, looking at her, I asked, “Seriously, why do you hate me so much?” I intended to sound angry. Instead, I sounded like a lost puppy.
“Oh, Jules. You really are as stupid as you look, aren’t you?” She jabbed a finger at my chest. “You are the reason why Hunter dumped me overnight. And you didn’t even have to do anything for it. All you had to do was look cute and act all innocent and blush a couple times around him. Do you have any idea how long it took until he only as much as looked at me?”
When I shook my head silently, she spat, “Months. It took months. Weeks until I had his phone number, but he never replied to any of my texts. Then, suddenly, on the field trip, he showed up at my tent at night. He said he wanted some distraction. Later, I found out what he meant by that.” She laughed bitterly. “He came to me after you got sick. He noticed that your ex, Emily, was jealous of him. He didn’t want to ruin your relationship with her, so he thought that I’d help him to forget about you. Jules, for weeks I was nothing but a replacement for you.”
I gulped. “But how is any of that my fault?”
Victoria lifted her hand from my chest to point at my head instead. “If there were only a few brain cells in there, you would’ve noticed what was going on. You could’ve been thankful and continue to live happily ever after with Emily while I was with Hunter.”
“Victoria, it doesn’t work like that,” I said quietly. “I would never be truly happy with Emily, not for long.”
Victoria wasn’t even listening to me. “I would visit Hunter every night from then on. We would have our way, then he would send me home. I didn’t mind…until he started talking about you. Talked about how pretty you were and how gentle and I don’t know what else. Once, he whispered your name while we were doing it. I was never enough for him, not even then, all thanks to you.”
I didn’t know what to make of all this new information. “Victoria, I understand that it must be painful, but I don’t get why…you are still so obsessed with him after all of that?”
Victoria took a deep breath, suddenly looking softer, younger than when she had her mask of hate on. “Because the few minutes he gave me were better than anything I’ve ever had with anyone before. Because to me, he was more than just a hookup. I thought maybe, after time, I could be more to him too.” She looked back up at me. Her eyes had gone hard and cold again. “He thinks only you can be. But don’t worry. I’ll teach him otherwise.”
Without waiting for an answer, she turned around and stormed out of my room, leaving me speechless and with more than a little to think about.
Chapter 28
Hunter
“Jules isn’t here, lover boy.”
“I know,” I said, as I leaned across the counter. “Hey, can you fix me two cups of Caramel Macchiato?”
“Oh, I see,” Red said with a broad smile plastered across her face. “So you already know his favorite drink. Bonus points for you.”
I grinned at her as she began to steam milk.
“Are you guys official now?” she asked over her shoulder.
I hesitated for a second. Jules and I hadn’t really talked about it yet, and I didn’t know if he was comfortable with telling people. But Red had been one of the first people he had come out to, so that should count for something, right?
I settled on being casual about it and said, “I think so.”
She raised a brow at me. “You think so? What’s that supposed to mean? Do you like him or not?”
“Of course, I do,” I said.
“And he obviously likes you, too,” a deep voice suddenly said. I turned around to see Darryl, Jules’s boss and apparently Red’s boyfriend, leaning against the counter with his hands deep in his pockets. “The only question is: Are you up for something serious?”
I frowned slightly. Lately, everybody seemed to ask me that because, for some reason, everyone was worried that I would suddenly change my mind and break Jules’s heart. As if I could ever do that.
Before I could answer, Red chimed in. “I know you have kind of a…history of dumping people before a serious relationship can even begin. You won’t do that to Jules, will you?”
“It’d be a little late for that now,” I said honestly. “If this was only a temporary thing, I would’ve ditched him after the first week of him not seeming interested. I wouldn’t have stuck around long enough to help him through struggling with his sexuality, and I definitely wouldn’t have limited everything to kissing and holding hands. This is different.”
There was more I could’ve said—that I felt lightheaded every time I saw
him even from afar, that only holding his hand felt better than anything else I had experienced with all those before him, that I would gladly trade one minute with him for every single night with a stranger in my bed, that I could barely sleep at night, knowing that he was only a few houses down the road.
Red and Darryl exchanged a victorious grin before Red’s expression turned serious. “You better not hurt him, lover boy.”
Darryl nodded. “Be careful with him.”
I chuckled when I realized how overprotective of him they actually were. “Since when have you guys adopted Jules?”
“Since his actual parents turned out to be homophobic assholes,” Red said and handed me the two cups of Jules’s lifeblood.
The smile slid off my face, and I thanked her quietly. Once I was in the car, I handed the two cups to Liam, who I was taking to school with me today.
“Why the sour face?” he asked worriedly as he studied me.
My friends were worried about me a lot these days. Since Victoria had started making Jules’s life a living hell, they apparently thought I was in desperate need of emotional support, which I was not. I was too busy worrying about Jules than my own pathetic problems.
Just imagining him alone in his room with no one to talk to despite his homophobic parents made me want to throw up. He was well on the way on accepting his sexuality and was starting to gain confidence before they found out. Now he was probably back to zero.
At least, he was still willing to see me. After all, it was my fault. If Victoria hadn’t been so fixated on me, she wouldn’t have done any of these things.
“It’s just…” I began, tiredly rubbing a hand over my eyes. “I’m worried about Jules. Emily told me that Victoria was at his house last night.”
Liam looked just as disgusted as I felt, though he noticeably perked up at the mention of Emily. For the past few weeks, he seemed to be nursing a secret crush on her.
Why You Shouldn't Lend A Bad Boy Your Clothes Page 29