by Zante, Lily
It’s what he does for you.
Luke hadn’t done anything for her, not anything romantic. She swallowed and looked away, fearful that her cousin might look at her and see what she was trying to keep away from her. She had a crazy notion that Luke would change and see that she was worthy of being loved, but hearing Savannah talk like this about her own experience, sowed seeds of doubt in her head.
Savannah patted her arm, as if to reassure her. “You’ll get your Mr. Right, too, especially now that you’re not looking for him. Maybe it’s a blessing in disguise that you’re so busy at work right now you don’t have time to think about anything else.”
“Some days I don’t see it as a blessing.”
“But you still love what you do?”
She had always loved her job, had always seen herself as a career woman, but lately, more so after Savannah had gotten engaged, she’d started to think about wanting more. “It’s something to do, isn’t it?” At the end of the day, her job was a means to an end. She didn’t hate it, she didn’t always love it, but there was something missing from her life, and looking at Savannah only served to make that void larger than ever.
“You wait and see, the right man is out there, Kay. He might even be waiting in the sidelines right now. It’s a matter of timing. And, if you don’t go chasing him, you might find he comes looking for you.”
Savannah was so Pollyanna about romance, it sometimes made Kay want to retch. She wanted to tell her that things didn’t always work out well for most people but she didn’t say anything. Savannah was over-the-moon happy, annoyingly so, and there was no point in having a debate about real love, or asserting that it wasn’t possible for everyone.
But she wondered what her cousin would think if she ever found out about her and Luke and the arrangement they had. What would Savannah think if she discovered that Kay was with a man who was so inaccessible, that he couldn’t give her anything of himself, except his body? Everything they had was purely physical.
Luke couldn’t commit. Wouldn’t commit, and that was what she was up against.
Whose fault was that?
She had not experienced those moments which Savannah spoke of. She had no sweet, or flirtatious texts, no phone calls, no future plans. She didn’t even have much in the way of conversation. She had nothing to indicate that she meant anything to Luke outside of sex.
She'd told him once she was happy with it, and that she could handle it, but she wasn’t so sure anymore.
Chances were, soon, a few months down the line, she and Luke would move on. Dean might come back, or a few more years might pass, with more meaningless one-night stands and short-lived relationships. She would eventually meet someone who was enough. A guy who would tick enough boxes so that her aging self would think he was ‘the one’—but he wouldn’t rock her world.
He would just be enough. And, like most women, she would settle for that.
“Why are you asking about me and Tobias?” Savannah looked at her suspiciously.
“No reason. I was curious, that’s all, especially now that I’m on my man-free diet.”
Savannah tilted her chin up.
“It’s given me the time to think about what I want,” Kay continued, hoping that it would be enough to convince her cousin.
“I knew this would help you,” said Savannah, smugness creeping into her tone. “You were starting to worry me when you were jumping from one man to the next without a moment alone.”
This was how Savannah saw her? “It wasn’t like that,” she replied, her face feeling hotter by the second. “I didn’t sleep with everyone. Some guys I just made out with.”
Savannah blinked, and then a second time, but didn’t say anything.
“Sometimes, it only happened sometimes. I didn’t like being in Hong Kong. It was all work, work, work, and I didn’t have my circle of close friends around me, so I had to start all over with work people.”
“But you’re back now,” Savannah said.
“And having you and Jacob here is the best thing for me,” she agreed. Luke had a tiny place in her life, and once she figured him out, once she unraveled the broodiness beneath the mask he wore, she hoped he might be some kind of constant in her life. A dubious constant, but a constant all the same.
While she wasn’t lucky to have a guy who professed his love for her, or bought her chocolate, or pampered her after a hard day at work, he was still around, in the background, a phone call or text message away. It wasn’t ideal, hooking up just for sex, but it was better than nothing.
“A new baby in May,” said Kay, cleverly changing the subject before Savannah probed too deeply.
“A new baby, and we’re moving a month or so before then.”
“How comes it’s taking so long?” She’d seen pictures of the massive property. It was huge. Too big for a family of three. And she could only imagine how many millions it must have cost.
“It’s Tobias. He wants to build extra rooms. He wants me to get a live-in nanny, but I’m not sure about that. Not for the first year, I don’t think.”
Was this woman crazy? “Take all the help you can get! Isn’t the first year the hardest?”
“Yes, but I don’t think I need a nanny at all. I had Izzy helping out while we were away, and I was going to have her do more hours for me, but I don’t want to neglect Jacob. He’s going to get neglected when the baby comes, for a while, anyway. I managed to look after Jacob, and I worked, and I had Colt to contend with and all that nasty stuff, and I had no nanny then, except for my parents who looked after Jacob when I went back to work.” Savannah laughed. “I had no money either, with which I could have paid the nanny, but we did fine.”
“Yes, you did, hon.” Kay’s heart swelled with pride, knowing everything Savannah had been through, and to see her now, all her dreams had come true. Except that marrying a billionaire and living the jet-set life had probably never been Savannah’s dream. She had only wanted the best for her son, and she had wanted out of that awful marriage. “We’ll have to throw you a baby shower,” Kay decided.
“A baby shower?” Savannah laughed.
“We should go out and celebrate,” Kay suggested. “It doesn’t feel right sitting here and doing nothing.”
But Savannah didn’t look too enthralled by the idea. “Can we not?” she pleaded. “I can’t stand people noticing who I am. I can’t even shop in peace, at the moment. I’m hoping it’s because of the wedding, and I hope the news will die down soon, but the pregnancy news will probably come out soon, and it will all start up again.”
“We can go somewhere discreet. I’ll give you a hat and sunglasses.”
Savannah made an unhappy face. “I have a fundraiser event next week, and then Tobias’s yearly Christmas fundraising event for the adoption centers. I expect the baby news will have broken by then and things are going to get crazy for me again. Please…can we stay here, and veg, like we used to in the good old days?”
“Is it really that bad?” The way Savannah spoke of it, she made it sound like such a tortured life.
“Worse. It means you can’t ever have a bad day. You can’t. Even if you’ve got a headache, or you’ve read some salacious piece of gossip written about you, you have to be out in the public with a smile on your face. I completely get why Tobias loathes the press.”
Kay patted Savannah’s arm. “Fine, we’ll stay here, and we’ll veg, and talk, and eat, and catch up. How long do I have you for?”
“The whole day.”
“Perfect.” A girlie day just hanging out at home was probably a good thing for her, too.
“You can tell me all about how your man-free diet is coming along. I’m hoping you haven’t given in to any more of Dean’s texts.”
“Dean,” said Kay, thinking of her ex for the first time in a long time. If there had been a huge plus to her arrangement with Luke, it was that she had managed to erase Dean from her memory. “That loser?”
Savannah’s face brightened. “You
’re calling him a loser now?”
“He was using me,” she said, sitting back, and tucking her legs under, “So, yes. He’s a loser.”
“You don’t know how happy it makes me to hear you say that.”
“I do listen to you sometimes,” said Kay, not even flinching as she said it.
“You actually took on board what I said?”
“Why do you sound so surprised?”
“Because you hardly ever listen to me.”
Kay swallowed. If Savannah had any inkling of what she was really up to, she would be disappointed, and disgusted. While she hadn’t managed a man-free diet, she had managed a Dean-free diet, and she was sure that Savannah would be pleased about that.
“I want to go downstairs later and spend some time with Arnold.”
“Arnold? Whatever for?”
“He wanted to ask about the wedding. In fact, I need to bring Jacob over one day because he said he wants to see Arnold.”
“And talk about what?”
“We just want to see how he’s doing.”
“Why do you care?”
Savannah looked momentarily puzzled by the question. “Why don’t you?”
“Because I have other things to think about…like my job, and getting to work on time and …” She shook her head, confounded by Savannah’s reasoning.
“Arnold is a lovely man!” Savannah cried, defensively. “Jacob and I always loved chatting to him. He’s such a sweetie.”
“I don’t have the time,” said Kay. “But you should go and speak to him. He keeps on hounding me for details about your wedding, and I never have the time for him.”
“Awww,” gushed Savannah. “I miss him.”
“I bet you don’t miss those days,” Kay muttered, “He’s a concierge, for goodness sake.” She got up and walked into the kitchen.
“I wouldn’t care if he was the janitor. He’s such a caring and considerate man,” replied Savannah. “He always looked out for me and Jacob.”
Kay paused for a moment and recalled that time when Arnold had vetted Luke before he allowed him upstairs. He could have let him go up without giving him too much of a hard time. She had come home in a foul mood that day. Remington had been pissed off, and she’d taken the hit for a presentation that one of the analysts had messed up. She’d come home and been short with Arnold, and yet he’d still looked out for her.
“Well,” she said, pulling open a bag of chips. “I’m always rushed in the morning, and I’ve been doing crazy hours lately.” Besides, she had never had the time to make small talk, with anyone, least of all the concierge. She filled some bowls with chips and pretzels and got out a box of chocolates.
“What are you doing?” Savannah asked, leaning against the countertop.
“We need snacks, for now, and we’ll get some food in later.”
Chapter 19
As he watched Xavier and Izzy leaving The Oasis, Luke envied the ease with which his friend charmed women. He knew Xavier had brought Izzy here to show him that he was making progress with the bet.
And yet, when he left, Luke couldn’t help but wonder why Izzy had agreed to go anywhere with Xavier. The girl was sensible and down-to-earth. Surely she could detect bullshit a mile off?
How she had even agreed to work for Xavier was beyond him. Xavier often said whatever came into his head, without filtering, and he wondered what Izzy would make of that.
Even now, after having seen them together, Luke was none the wiser as to what was going on between the two of them. Only time would tell. Either Xavier would boast about winning the bet, and no doubt tell him about his conquest, or he would go quiet, because Izzy wasn’t stupid and she wasn’t going to give him the time of day.
Seeing them together made him think of Kay and he was tempted to see her again. He was in no mood to be alone. In fact, since their last encounter, he hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her. It should have spelled danger for him, but he chose to ignore it, and preferred instead to focus on the release she afforded him. She was the perfect solution for late night comfort.
He pulled out his phone, and texted her.
Are you free tonight?
He grew restless when she didn’t reply immediately. Checking his phone, he saw that not only had his text message been delivered, but she had read it.
And still she hadn’t replied. Irritation scratched his skin like an itch that couldn’t be ignored.
Growing increasingly irritated, he called her, and his heart skipped a beat when she picked up.
“Hi,” she said, sounding surprisingly bright, surprisingly upbeat.
“You didn’t reply to my text.”
“You sent a text?” she asked, acting surprised.
You know I did, because you read the message. But he didn’t say anything because a disagreement wasn’t the way he wanted to start the evening.
“Are you free tonight?” he asked, wondering what she was wearing, and how soon he could get to her.
“No. I’m busy, actually.”
His mood deflated in an instant. “Doing what?” She was being eerily evasive and even though asking her risked him sounding nosey, he was keen to know.
“Savannah’s over, and we’re catching up.”
Fuck. When girls got together they didn’t stop talking for hours. “That’s the rest of your evening taken up. Will you be free around 10?”
“I’m not sure. Why, is this a booty call?”
“Maybe.”
“You miss me, don’t you?” she asked.
“I miss certain parts of you.”
She giggled. “They’re parts of me, so theoretically, you miss me. Why don’t you just say you miss me?”
“I miss fucking you.”
The line turned eerily quiet. She didn’t giggle. “I guess you do, huh,” she said, finally, as he struggled to find a way to put that right. “I miss more than that—”, he started to say, but she cut him off.
“I need to order take out.”
“Cool.” The frost in her voice was hard to miss. “You must both have a lot to catch up on.”
“We do.”
It was odd, how the same evening that Xavier and Izzy had been at The Oasis, Savannah had gone to see Kay. “Xavier and Izzy were over earlier,” he said, relieved to find something neutral to talk about.
“And that’s why you wanted to see me?”
“What?”
“Because you’re still hung up on me and Xavier?”
It wasn’t such a neutral topic after all. “I’m not hung up on you and him. You said nothing happened.”
“It didn’t.”
Silence rolled across the airwaves.
“I fucking miss you, okay?” he said, hating that what should have been a normal phone conversation had turned to this. Fuck. Why was it that he could experience a multitude of emotions just trying to call her to meet up? He wasn’t falling for her. He wasn’t. Not like that. Not like it meant anything, not like he needed to make her happy, or not make her mad. It wasn’t that kind of happy. He was just mad at her because the sound of her voice made him want to see her. That was all.
“You do miss me,” she replied, whispered almost, as if she were in shock. “I’m free tomorrow, if you really, desperately need to see me.”
“Do I sound desperate?” Slinky minx. That voice, that tone. She was teasing him.
“It’s why you called, isn’t it?” she replied, and he imagined her grinning.
“Is Savannah there?” he asked, wondering if she was eavesdropping on the conversation.
“She’s gone to see the concierge.”
“Arnold?”
“She has a soft spot for him.”
“Will he let me in if I come tomorrow?” he asked.
“I can ask him to be extra gentle with you.”
“Any requests for tomorrow?” he asked, “I think I delivered last time.”
She giggled. “You did, yes.”
“No complaints?”
/> “Absolutely none. Oh, wait, maybe you could—”
What did she want now, he wondered, a delicious stirring started in his groin. “I could what?”
“Nothing.”
“I could what?”
“I don’t want to break one of your rules.”
“Tomorrow then,” he said, not probing further. He wanted to possess her. Take her to bed and fuck the living daylights out of her. The thought of her luscious body aroused him faster than any woman had before.
This was new.
He didn't usually think about someone like that. Obsession over sex was a waste of time. He had better things to tend to.
Chapter 20
They’d been at it non-stop. He’d arrived a few hours earlier, and she had been ready and waiting, as eager to see him as he obviously was to see her.
No sooner had he walked through the door, than they’d rushed at one another, a mesh of hungry mouths and hands.
He’d pinned her against the wall, his hands on either side and devoured her with kisses. Leaving a trail from her lips down her belly, and lower, unbuttoning and unzipping her clothes as he worked his way down. Then, he’d sunk to his knees and pleasured her, making her forget everything but the feel of his tongue on her.
When her knees had buckled, when she couldn’t even stay standing, he’d pushed her onto the couch. They’d ended up having sex on the living room couch, their frenzied lovemaking leaving them both breathless.
The next time had been in her bedroom.
“Aren’t you tired?” she asked, casting her eyes on his back which he had turned towards her, almost as if he didn’t want her to see him naked.
“No.”
“Why don’t you turn around?” she asked. “I’ve seen it all before.” It seemed silly to get all coy now, when they’d seen one another naked, and had been intimate with one another. He lifted his head to listen, but didn’t turn around, and then slid his t-shirt over his head.
She longed to lie in bed with him, feel his naked skin against hers and talk. Hold hands at least, like lovers did, but he always seemed in a rush to leave.