by Liz Schulte
He swallowed, finally looking at least a little scared.
“If I find my human, what will happen?”
He shook his head. “There’s no way to know. I don’t think you could ever leave your human; the draw would be too great.”
“What about the human?”
“It’s hard to imagine any path but destruction for the human.”
I thanked him for his time and left a little more satisfied than last time, but significantly more worried.
Twenty Five
I looked at Baker when Quintus and Jace left. He shrugged. “I see why Holden doesn’t like ‘em. The guy in the bar wasn’t so bad, but these two—”
“Quintus isn’t that bad, I swear. He’s upset. We were sort of dating when Holden came back into my life.”
Baker nudged me with his shoulder as we walked toward the church doors. “Yep, I knew it.”
“Knew what?
“Knew you were a heartbreaker.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s me all right.”
Baker’s mood turned serious as quickly as he’d been silly. . “You aren’t going back for a trial, are you?”
“You don’t understand.”
“So explain, angel.”
“Yes, their rules seem stupid and I don’t understand them, but what they do is good and important. When I helped someone as a guardian, it was exhilarating. I felt the difference I made as sure as the sun on my shoulders. It was pure and basic. I didn’t care about recognition or glory. I did it because it felt right. Quintus and Jace have been at it for such a long time, I think they’ve lost sight of why they’re doing it.”
Baker raised an eyebrow.
“You know, it’s become routine—like when you get dressed in the morning. You go through all motions without even thinking about it because it’s what you do. I think a lot of guardians are in that position.”
“How does that explain why you would let them put you on trial?”
“I don’t know that I’m ready to give up helping people yet. I think the guardians could be great if they had a push in the right direction—someone or something to shock them out of complacency. They’ll never change unless someone’s willing to lead the way.”
Baker cracked his neck. “And what about the boss?”
“What boss?”
“Holden.”
“Oh.” I frowned, not sure what he was asking. “What about him?”
“You’ve given Holden a chance to get out of his life, which is what is best for him, but I can’t imagine him leading the guardian revolution with you—like you don’t want to help him with the jinn movement.”
“I don’t know what we’ll do, but I guess we have to get to that point before we worry about it.”
“True. But if you don’t plan on going back to them, there’s no reason to go to the trial.”
Baker had my mind reeling with possibilities. “You know when Holden told me he had an advisor, I was shocked. Then I saw you and was even more dubious about what advice you could offer. I get it now. You’ve become my favorite shifter.”
He laughed. “I’m the only one you know, right?”
“Yep.” I winked at him.
“Well, you’re my favorite angel.”
We walked a little further and I thought about everything we discussed. “If something happens to me, you’ll take care of Holden, right?” It slipped out of my mouth. I hadn’t even been thinking about anything bad happening. I was making plans for the future, yet as soon as the words left my mouth I felt a nervous twist in my stomach.
Baker snapped his head toward me. “Don’t talk like that, doll. You’ll jinx yourself.”
I ignored him and let the words continue to flow without the permission of my brain. “Make sure he leaves the jinn and doesn’t self-destruct. Of all the people I saved, Holden’s life could have the most lasting impact.”
“He’s not the same person when you aren’t here.”
I understood that. I wasn’t the same without him either. I still needed a promise though. “But you’ll try?”
Baker sighed. “If you try damn hard not to let anything bad happen.”
The worry eased slightly. I smiled. “Deal.”
****
Baker got me home, but didn’t come up with me. I disturbed him with my talk of taking care of Holden, but I trusted Baker would do it. As I walked down the hallway toward the apartment, I noticed the jinni from earlier standing in the hallway. I readied myself for attack if necessary. He looked up and something close to relief swept over his face. He stared at me as I approached.
“Does Holden know you’re here?” I asked, feeling like I needed to say something.
He shifted uncomfortably. “I was out of line earlier.”
It was my turn to stare. What had Holden done to him? “Huh. Okay. Well, have a good night.”
I put my key in the door, but he wasn’t leaving. I glanced back and he gave a thin-lipped smiled.
“What are your plans for tomorrow?”
I frowned and pushed through the door, locking it behind me. Holden looked up from his laptop. Seeing him made all my worries melt away. “Did you know that jinni from this morning is stationed outside our door?”
“Phoenix? Ah—he must not have been able to find you.”
“What?”
Holden’s eyes twinkled with mischievousness. “He’s your second shadow.”
“What? Why?”
“I made it clear your safety and happiness are his safety and happiness. We can’t be too careful with Juliet on the loose.”
I rolled my eyes. “Have you heard from Femi?”
“She thinks she might have something. She’s dropping by tonight.” Holden shut the laptop and walked over to me. “Did you see the guardians?”
I nodded, knowing which one in particular he was talking about. “He’s still mad at me for loving you.”
Holden didn’t look fazed by this. “But was he able to tell you about the room?”
“Yeah. Guardian use them to strip souls of their divine powers. When someone retires or is a traitor, like me, their abilities are transferred to the elders.”
Holden nodded. “Figures. So the traitor’s an elder—or elders, plural.”
“But why? And who?”
He shook his head.
“So what was the smoke thing?” He gave me a quick rundown on what happened that afternoon. He recapped everything he learned about jinn which wasn’t as much as I hoped he could find. I frowned. “But what can you do?”
He watched me as he ran his finger down the side of my neck it light up. “I'm your jinni.”
I stared back at him. “But I’m not human anymore.”
“You’re part human. It’s why this happens when I touch you. Why I can't stay away.”
“That is… ridiculous.”
He smiled. “Is it?”
“Should I spit three times to my left and ask Allah for help? Do you think that would make you disappear? It’s all a faerytale, Holden, none of that is real.”
“Try it. Let’s see what happens.” He studied my face, waiting for my reaction.
If there was even an off chance he would disappear, there was no way I would risk it. “No, it's stupid.”
He ran his finger across the back of my hand, “You don’t want to because you’re afraid it would work. Jennings tried the spitting, nothing happened.”
“Even if this is why you can’t stay away from me, why can’t I stay away from you?”
“I guess I’ve deceived you one too many times. I have led you down the path of corruption and even you can't find your way back.” His voice was melancholy, and I didn’t understand his mood at all.
“What?”
He looked up at the ceiling. “I don’t want to destroy you.”
“Riiiigghht? Holden, are you okay?”
“The professor said the jinni’s human match never fares well in all of this.”
I finally understood. “You ar
en’t going to corrupt me. Perhaps if I were a full human you would, but I’m not. I think I’m safe.” He nodded but didn’t look convinced he wasn’t going to ruin me. “If you believe this guy so much, let’s see what you can do. Let’s see how much of what he said was right.”
Holden raised an eyebrow. “I wasn’t born of a smokeless flame. I wasn’t created. I was a human who made a deal. I don’t know what the smoke was all about earlier, but I don’t think I can call it at will. I’ve been trying all afternoon.”
“You were a human who made a deal. I’m not sure how literally you can take this. We don’t know what you are now. Why would demons create a free being who could betray them when they could trap souls and force them to do their bidding? But you aren’t trapped anymore, are you? What did it look like when I pulled you from purgatory?”
“Bright.”
“Maybe the smokeless flame has nothing to do with demons or the devil. Maybe jinn were always humans to begin with before Hell figured out a way to twist them into something else. Something they could use. Or maybe they aren’t the only one who can do it. Lucifer was an angel.”
“Are you saying you created me?”
I didn’t know what I was saying. I was talking things through as they came to my mind. All I meant to prove was that Holden could’ve been reborn of a smokeless flame like the professor said the ancient jinn were and that he should embrace or at least test his new powers. “I don’t know about creating you, but I freed you. You were created long ago, and maybe I put you whole as you always should have been—completed the transformation. That’s reasonable, right? You want me to believe I’m an angel, then I must have angelic abilities. Try it.”
“Try what?” Humor glinted in his eyes. “I’m thinking about a puppy, yet I still don’t have a tail.”
Holden wasn’t concentrating because he was tense. I went to a clear area of the floor and sat cross legged. Holden watched me, but made no move to follow. I patted the floor in front of me. “I’m going to teach you how.”
“Teach me what?” he asked, sitting down.
”Well, I can’t help with the other stuff, but I know to how transport. Relax and focus all of the energy within you to one location.” I flipped his hand over so his palm was up,” Focus everything into the palm of your hand.” I watched as a misty black cloud began to swirl around his wrist, thin at first but growing stronger and more opaque the more he put into it. ”It’s working.” I told him encouragingly. Holden’s eyes opened, and the mist continued to grow.
“Now what?”
“Imagine it surrounding your body and release, imagining yourself somewhere else.” Less than a minute later he was sitting on the couch.
I hopped up and Holden looked dazed. “Are you okay?”
A casual, melodic rap came at the door. I backed away from Holden, watching him carefully. I didn’t know if now was the best time for visitors; he had yet to utter a single sound or thought. I didn’t bother to look through the peep hole or ask who was there. I swung open the door; tearing my eyes from Holden like I was removing a bandage. Femi leaned against the wall with impossible grace in her typical leather pants and tank top. She had a satisfied, cat-who-caught-a-bird grin spread across her face. What was she up to?
She jerked her head back slightly, and Phoenix dragged a blonde girl into view. The girl’s matted hair obscured her face, and she fought like a trapped, feral animal against her restraints.
Twenty Six
“Where have you been?” Jace’s voice carried from my dark living room.
“I had to think,” I said, flipping on the light.
“Why do I feel you are keeping something from me, Quintus?”
I sat down in my chair and shut my eyes. “I don’t know.”
Jace didn’t speak for a long time, and I was happy for the silence. I didn’t want to talk about it. This situation had shown a different side of Jace. One I had never seen, and wasn’t sure I liked. I agreed the elders needed to be dealt with, but not by throwing Olivia to them. I wouldn’t stand by at the trial and let them convict her. My actions could very well end our friendship, but it was the only decision I could make.
“You told her how to use an animaphagist.”
“What could she gain by using it?”
“Power. She could redirect it to feed her others’ strength.”
“She wouldn’t.”
“She is living with a jinni. She brings his bodyguard with her to meet with us. What makes you think she wouldn’t?”
“I know her.”
“Yet you didn’t know she was still in love with him.”
I sighed. “Yes, I did. I underestimated the strength of it. I didn’t know they were soul mates.”
“This is not what you said when you first came to me.”
“I was mad then, hurt.”
“And you aren’t anymore?”
“Not enough to want her to die.”
“You need to control your feelings for Olivia. You aren’t yourself, Quintus.”
My laugh was bitter to my ears. “Is it that easy, Jace? I’ve been alive for a long time, but she’s the first person who’s reminded me there is a life worth living beyond that of being a guardian.”
“When is the last time you had trouble with your emotions? How does she have this effect on you? She has weakened you. There is nothing more important than our job. You know that.”
I opened my eyes. “But I am not the only one who has changed. Why are you so willing to sacrifice her? What has happened that you cease to value a life, her life?”
Jace looked confused. “But I do value it. Just not as much as the lives of everyone else. I like Olivia, but she chose to leave us. She demonstrated her selfishness.”
“She isn’t selfish.”
“Then why is she putting her feelings ahead of everything else?”
Now that was a good question, but not in the way Jace thought it was. Why hadn’t I thought of it? I knew Olivia wasn’t selfish, yet I hadn’t questioned her going with Holden, not for a moment. Yes, she loved him, but she loved him from the moment she came back. What changed? Why go now? There was one difference. He now had a soul and no one to rein him in. I tamped down the smile trying to curl my lips. “How many people has Holden killed since she returned?”
“None that I know of.”
“How many has he turned?”
“I wouldn’t have those numbers…”
“Give me an estimate.” I knew that Holden had to be under the microscope right now, especially living with a guardian. They’d be keeping track, if for no other reason than to use it against her.
“None that I know of.”
“You don’t get a reputation like his for doing nothing.”
Jace didn’t respond.
“Maybe she went back with him to keep him from harming others. Perhaps her motivation wasn’t selfish at all.”
“That is naïve, Quintus.”
“Yet the facts are in front of us,” I said stubbornly. It wasn’t entirely the truth, but it was a plausible explanation that couldn’t be used against her. “You don’t believe she killed or set up the guardians, do you?”
“I know she didn’t,” Jace admitted. “But that makes very little difference.”
“I don’t think we will ever see eye to eye on this.”
Jace stood. “I feared that.” He moved toward the door. “You know if you defend her, Ezra will find a way to turn it on you.”
“I figured as much.”
“And you are willing to risk your life for hers?”
“Yes.”
“Even though she betrayed you, betrayed us all.”
“Yes.”
“I cannot allow it, my friend.”
There was a glow behind me. I got to my feet and turned to confront Jace, still unsuspecting—
He pushed something into my chest. I looked down. Seven black runes were pressed over my heart, blocking the light. Numbness started at the runes and spread. I
made it a step before I fell to the ground. Jace bent over me.
“I am sorry to do this, Quintus. I won’t allow you to ruin your life for a traitor. In a couple days, these will fade, you’ll be free, and the trial will be over. Don’t struggle against them. They will dig in further and cause you pain.”
“Jace—” He faded away, leaving me alone and helpless.
If I concentrated very hard I could wiggle my fingers, but it felt like a drill grinding into my skin. Okay, so no small movements. I counted to three then tore my arm from the floor. My own light blinded me as my fingers curled around a rune and ripped it free. My scream echoed in my ears. My throat clenched. I flung the rune away before it could burrow into my hand. My arm fell limply to the floor. My entire body burned like it was covered in hot tar. It was several minutes, maybe hours before I did it again. It was worse the second time. The remaining runes embedded themselves at least an inch deeper into my chest after the first round of removal. It was like tearing off pieces of my body. My fingernails dug and scraped against the rune, my vision blackening around the edges while I mustered the strength to pry it away. The other five burrowed further as I struggled.
I wanted to give up several times over the hours it took to dig them out. But I couldn’t. I passed out, screamed until my voice vanished, and dug my own fingers so deep into my flesh I felt bone, but I never stopped. I hadn’t warned Olivia. I had to do that before I could rest. I kept repeating it in my head, praying I would make it in time.
Twenty Seven
“I believe you were looking for her,” Femi purred.
I put my hand on Olivia’s back. My mind was still spinning over the fact that I had transported. I didn’t know how to feel about any of it, but if Femi had Juliet, as I suspected she did, Olivia needed me. I kept my mind closed off, but monitored her thoughts the best I could. I couldn’t see their prisoner’s face, but the build and coloring were Juliet’s. I stepped forward and caught her chin in my hand and tilted it up. As her hair fell back from her face and her eyes met Olivia’s, the air gushed from Olivia’s lungs in a huff as if she’d been hit.