by Liz Schulte
“It’s the human half,” Uriel said, as if he noted that water was wet.
“How long have you known the traitor was Jace?” Quintus’s revulsion at Ezra was plastered on his face.
Ezra didn’t say anything.
“How many of us would you have let die?”
“As many as it took,” Ezra said.
Uriel and Olivia exchanged a look.
“Are you ready to go home?” Uriel asked her.
Olivia turned back to the two remaining elders. She touched Ezra and moments later he drifted down to the floor as nothing more than flakes of ash. Her hand hovered over Phillip, but she hesitated. “Why did you change your vote?”
“We were wrong. I couldn’t do it.”
Olivia stood still for so long I began to worry something was wrong. Finally she spoke. “Would you rather be incinerated or retired?”
His eyes drifted to the room. “It hurts in there?”
“Very much,” she whispered, “but it is cleansing.”
“Retirement.” His voice was confident, though fear etched lines on his face.
She looked to Constance.
“Incinerated,” Constance said and Olivia obliged.
She looked back to Phillip. “You will not be retired. You will work your way back through the ranks. You are being given an opportunity for redemption. I trust you will not make the same mistakes this time.”
He bowed to her and went to stand with James.
Olivia spoke to Uriel in a loud enough voice the whole room could hear. “It isn’t the human half, you know.”
Uriel raised a curious eyebrow.
“It’s the arrogance of the angel. It’s ignoring and forgetting the human half. They felt superior and resentful of humans and failed to remember their own weaknesses. I don’t think half-angels should lead the guardians.”
“Who would you suggest?”
“A mixed council.” Her eyes drifted to Quintus and the first truly friendly expression she had managed since coming out of the room softened her countenance. “You took a stand.”
He smiled warmly. “I followed your example.”
“He would be good on the council,” she said, looking back to Uriel.
“I will leave the restructuring to you since you are more familiar with their needs than I am,” Uriel told her. “Are you ready to go home?”
My heart crashed into my ribs, trying to escape my chest and go with her. She began to nod and I closed my eyes so I didn’t have to watch. We already had our goodbye, I reminded myself. A finger grazed my cheek. I opened my eyes to the shimmery glow of moonlight I had come to recognize as home. She inspected me with a serious face.
“We told you not to come.” Her voice ran like warm water down my spine.
“You didn’t expect me to stay away, did you?”
She shut her eyes. “I am not going back, Uriel.”
My breath caught, and I couldn’t look away from her.
“You have to let the human soul go,” Uriel advised. “You do not belong here.”
“No, I want to stay. They have so much life, so much enthusiasm. The soul feels so deeply it often aches, but it is worth it.”
“You must fall to stay. I cannot reverse it if you change your mind.”
Olivia’s smooth face and unblinking eyes didn’t flinch. “I understand.”
Uriel sighed. “Are you sure this isn’t lingering feelings from your human half? They were soul mates. The pull would be strong.”
A slight smile curled her lips. “Positive. I like it here. I like Holden and Olivia, even though they fight a lot.”
Uriel’s laugh was filled with joy, and he kissed her forehead. “I am glad you found happiness. You have always been far too serious.” She hugged him back. “This is going to hurt.”
She nodded.
He sent something that looked very much like a bolt of lightning at her and she collapsed to the ground, smoking. I went toward her, but he held up a hand and I froze in place despite my efforts to move. Her body curled together then snapped back with a crack that filled the room like thunder. A moment later I was released and next to her. Her eyes slipped open and a ghost of a smile fluttered over her lips before they shut again.
“I trust you’ll take care of her?” Uriel said.
I didn’t bother answering him or even looking at him. Of course I would.
Uriel laughed again. “Tell Olivia I’ll talk to her soon. We have much to discuss. I wish the two of you the best of luck.”
“Was it you in the bar?” I asked before he could leave. I had to know.
“You needed help.”
I nodded.
He returned the nod and disappeared. The guardians filed one by one past us as they left, looking at Olivia in my arms like we were a piece of art. Quintus was the last one to come by.
“How long have you known she’s an angel?”
“Not too long.”
Quintus gave me an appraising look. “I underestimated you. Angels frighten people who haven’t been evil most of their lives. She should terrify you.”
I shrugged. I didn’t care what Quintus thought. I never had. There was one person whose opinion mattered and she never underestimated me—if anything she had a tendency to overestimate me. Words I didn’t want to say, but knew I had to, stuck in my throat. I bit back my pride and pushed forward. “Thank you—” I waved my hand in the air, not knowing where to start on the list of things I should thank him for.
“I did it for her.” He dismissed my gratitude, which was fine with me.
“So did I.” I watched Olivia’s chest rise up and down steadily, and took a deep breath. “I’m glad she has you as a friend and that I didn’t kill you, though you deserved it at times.”
Quintus stared at me as if I had sprouted another head.
I rolled my eyes. “We’re not going to hug or anything. You’re still a douche.”
An unsure smile covered his face, and those annoying dimples creased his cheeks. “I am glad she has you, too.”
As a general rule I liked to avoid awkward exchanges with other men, so I looked back to her. I brushed away an invisible strand of hair from her decidedly more human-looking face and couldn’t suppress a sigh. “You promised me boring. I’m going to hold you to that.” Her mouth twitched toward a smile, but her eyes stayed closed. She had listened to our whole conversation—I’d never hear the end of it.
“Would you like help getting her home?”
I let him lift her from me. No stabs of jealousy. She was mine and I knew it. They disappeared into a ball of light, and I looked down at my shaking hands, knowing I had very nearly lost her several times today.
I took a deep breath and exhaled the fear lacing my blood. The mist formed around me and took me home.
THIRTY SEVEN
It was over.
I couldn’t relax as much with Quintus as I could with Holden so I forced my eyes open. Holden’s apartment surrounded me and Quintus watched me with a strange look.
“What?” I asked.
“An angel,” he said, shaking his head. “I knew you were different, but I never imagined. You are so much trouble.”
I laughed and sat up, still tired. “Only half, I think. I’m not sure how any of this works. So what happened?”
Holden re-formed in the room, looking dizzy. I empathized; transporting took some getting used to. I stood up and threw my arms around him. When I said goodbye before I had believed it was for the last time. He squeezed me until it was hard to breathe.
“Are you okay?” he asked, concern coloring his voice.
“I’m fine. I was asking Quintus—what happened?”
Holden pulled away a little. “You don’t remember?”
“I remember being in the animaphagist and standing up, but after that it’s pretty much blank until I opened my eyes and saw you. I remember everything after that.” I gave him a sly smile. He made friends with Quintus, even if he wouldn’t admit it. He even attem
pted to apologize. I went and sat back down, pulling my feet up underneath me. “Tell me all about it.”
Holden glanced at Quintus. “Can you go get Femi and Baker? I don’t want to do this twice.”
Quintus nodded and left.
Holden lay on the couch and rested his head in my lap. He looked up at me with those wonderful green eyes. I ran my fingers through his hair and looked back at him. “This was the last time you’re going to try to die on me, right? I’m not sure I will make it through another.”
I laughed. “I have no plans of being killed in the near future.”
“Good. When are you going to do the—” he touched his forehead and then mine.
“Oh, you want that back? I thought you might be enjoying the silence.”
“Surprisingly not. I’m used to having you there—and it’s easier to keep track of your schemes this way.”
I would gladly reconnect us, I missed him too, but I didn’t know how to do it. “I’m still not sure how it works. I’ll ask Uriel.”
“The angel doesn’t know?”
“I’m sure he does. Like I said, I’m going to ask him.”
Holden laughed. “You. Your angel doesn’t know?”
“Oh...” It was too strange to think of myself as two separate people. “I don’t know.”
“It doesn’t matter. We have time to figure it out.”
“We have to figure out more than that. What are we going to do now? Are the guardians letting me go?”
“Liv, sweetheart, I think the guardians are terrified of you. If you want to leave them, no one will say a word about it.” His eyes glinted in amusement.
I didn’t like feeling like I missed something. What on earth had I done? “What about you? What are you going to do about the jinn?”
“Shhh. Let’s enjoy this victory before we move onto another problem.”
I leaned back against couch. With each passing minute, I felt more awake and alert. I had so many questions. “What happened with Juliet after I left? Did she ever start talking?”
“She had runes imbedded in her spine that were connecting her to a demon and to a guardian. They have been controlling her for a while.”
“Can we remove them?”
He sighed. “Quintus knows more about it than me.”
I narrowed my eyes. “What are you hiding Holden?”
“You need to hear the whole story, and I don’t want to go through it twice.”
My heart clenched. “Is Juliet still alive?”
He looked at me for a long moment, sadness in his eyes. “No.”
“Did you kill her?” I asked, not wanting to know the answer if it was yes.
“No,” he said and I let out my breath. “But I don’t think you would have left if I had.” He raised a challenging eyebrow at me.
I wasn’t sure what I would’ve done—and I didn’t have time to think about it. Femi led the way through the door, and Holden sat up.
Femi threw her arms around my neck, and I hugged her back. “Don’t ever scare us like that again!”
“I’ve never been so glad to see someone, angel,” Baker said, winking and squeezing in between Holden and me. “We have to discuss that promise you had me make. I don’t think I’m up for it.”
“What promise?” Holden asked.
“A little insurance policy,” I told him.
“She made me swear to keep you on the straight and narrow if anything happened to her.”
Holden scowled at both of us, but it didn’t reach his eyes. He slapped Baker on the back of the head. “Next time you punch me, you better have your affairs in order.”
“Just keeping up my end of the promise.”
“Okay, okay. Someone start talking. What happened?”
Holden stood up and Femi pushed in on the couch on the other side of me so I was sandwiched between her and Baker. We all looked at Holden and Quintus, waiting for one of them to start. Holden began with my breaking the connection between us. I felt a trickle of guilt, but listened without comment through to the end of his story. I stood up and walked toward the kitchen and back again as the pieces of what happened sunk in.
“You put Juliet in the animaphagist?” I asked Quintus. I couldn’t bring myself to look at him.
“Yes,” he said without regret.
My eye twitched and my hands shook. “Get out,” I could barely hear my own voice. I fought to maintain my temper, but he needed to leave now. He used her as a means to an end. Had she died for her crimes, I wouldn’t have liked it, but I could have understood. But she didn’t. She was killed to find another killer. How could he have believed that was any better than what Jace had done?
Quintus turned to leave.
“Wait,” Holden said. “Hear him out, Liv. He risked his life to help you today. You owe him at least that.”
“It’s not quite the way you’re imagining it,” Femi said.
“We both volunteered to go in her place,” Baker added, taking the edge from my anger.
I nodded for him to continue. Quintus recounted the story. I sat down with a heavy heart when he finished. Holden put his hand on my shoulder. “You’re telling me that she went in of her own free will.” I looked at Holden.
He frowned.
“It’s true, boss. She was calm and rational. She said something about how when Olivia touched her the fog lifted, but it was coming back.”
“She said you would do it for her,” Femi added.
I closed my eyes. I would have. I would think more about this later. It was too much right now. “So I was pretty scary, huh?”
****
I felt Uriel call to me. I nudged Holden. He opened one eye and looked at me.
“You’re supposed to be sleeping,” he said.
“I have to go see Uriel. Don’t freak out.”
He squeezed my hand and I let the call carry me away. I appeared back by the lake where Uriel waited for me by the bench.
“Any regrets?” he asked.
“No.”
“How do you feel?”
“Confused.”
He nodded. “Give it a couple days. It isn’t easy to fall. The memories will start coming back and fill in some gaps.”
“So am I half angel or full?”
He tilted his head to the side. “You are a full angel with a human soul.”
“So will it be like having multiple personalities?”
“No. Now that both sides of you are awake, you will blend.”
“Was the angel not awake before?”
“She started to wake up when you were made a guardian, but came fully back after you were captured I believe.”
“She saved Holden.”
“Yes.”
“So I am going to change.”
“Life is constantly changing. You are very much like her. I think you’ll be fine”
“Why did you want to see me?”
“Hell will try to tempt you to them. Stay vigilant.”
I nodded.
“I am still leaving you in charge of reorganizing the guardians. You will head the council until they are stable enough on their own, unless you want to stay.”
“I’m not leaving Holden.”
“I never expected you to.”
“Isn’t it against the rules for you to work with a fallen angel?”
He chuckled. “Don’t get too caught up in the fallen status. You were one of my best; I have complete faith that you will continue to impress me.”
I stared out at the calm water and beautiful red trees. “What does my future look like?”
He searched the sky. “Undetermined.”
“About time.”
“Good luck, Olivia.” He disappeared and I sat alone.
My thoughts strayed to Holden and the jinn and how he planned on walking away from them and the promises he made. My mind did what was most natural to it—reached out to Holden. With the simple act, the bond easily snapped back into place, restoring us as we were meant to be.<
br />
“I remember what happened last time I was here. I am not so sure I am happy to be back,” he said warily.
I smiled. “I’m not leaving. I got my new assignment. I have to reorganize and lead the guardians for a while.”
Holden sat down next to me. “What does that mean for us?”
“Nothing. I told Uriel I wasn’t leaving you. Do you care?”
“That you’re staying? It’s the only way I’d have it.”
I bumped him with my shoulder. “That I am continuing with the guardians.”
“Why would that bother me? Unless they try to kill you again... If that happens, we’ll have to rethink the alliance.”
“And you don’t mind leaving the jinn?”
His hand rested on my knee. “You worry too much. I rarely do anything I don’t want to do. Be happy, Liv.”
I rested my head on his shoulder and I was happy.
EPILOGUE
“Are you sure about this?”
Holden quirked an eyebrow. “Chickening out?”
“No.” And I wasn’t—I didn’t want him to make a mistake. Too many major life decisions in such a short, volatile period couldn’t be a good thing, right? We had time. We could think things through, plan. I paced a couple steps, fidgeting. “Are you sure this is what you want and not what you think I want?”
Holden caught my hand and pulled me down onto his lap. He kissed me, keeping his eyes open so he could see my face light up. A smug smile spread across his face—egotistical and wonderful. “I’ve never been more certain of anything.”
I wasn’t a 100% sure yet. It hadn’t even been a full two days since I fell. I sneaked a peek into his mind to see if this was only on the surface. He had to be worried too, but all I could find was happiness, resolve, and determination. I still didn’t quite understand my angel side, but I was coming to terms with the idea that being a fallen angel didn’t make me Lucifer. It was still a choice, my choice. It was what we did, not what we were, that mattered most. Holden and I proved that to the world. “Do you think they’ll let you quit?”
Holden shrugged, looking too happy to care, which also made me nervous. “They can’t stop me. Well, short of killing me. And don’t think I don’t feel you poking around in there.”