by Tia Lewis
“He called me.” Bobby’s face was blank. He was waiting for me to react.
I looked at the floor and ordered myself not to explode. It was never something I was especially good at, controlling my temper. It was the reason I left the Army as early as I had—everybody else saw how hard it was for me, too, and decided after a few years that letting me run around with a gun in my hands wasn’t the best idea. “He called you to complain that your girls turned him down.”
“Something like that.” He sat behind his desk, a big, scarred oak monstrosity that I thought might’ve come with the building. “Don’t spend too much time thinking about it.”
I laughed, shocked. “How can I not? That was wrong. He shouldn’t have called you over something so stupid. You’re a busy guy, you have things to do. And he shouldn’t expect your girls to service him for free, whenever he wants. I’ll talk to him about it when I get back to the clubhouse.” We would have a lot to talk about.
“Don’t worry about it,” Bobby said with a wave of his hand. “I mean, it’s not like I want him to get the idea that the girls are his to screw with whenever he wants to. He needs to learn. But still, it was rude of them to turn him down. I don’t like my girls getting the reputation for being rude to the club that’s bankrolling our business. It doesn’t look good.”
Crystal came back in with a steaming cup of coffee. I tried to catch her eye, to give her a look that told her how shitty it was, having a brother who was such an asshole. A brother who had gotten her boss to kick her ass for telling him she didn’t want to fuck him again. It wasn’t my business, not really, but I felt like shit about it. She only looked away and closed the door quietly when she left. She was scared to death of him.
“So.” He folded his hands on his desk while I sat down. Just like that, he had set the tone of the meeting. “Like I said, I’m glad you could come out. I didn’t want to bring it up on Saturday night, but I wanted to get your attention. What I’ve heard from inside is pretty grave stuff.”
“What did you hear?” I braced myself the best I could. I had been through a dozen scenarios in my head, at least. Of course, none of them involved Gunner getting two girls beaten up, but he was unpredictable like that.
“Two of my boys are inside, you see. They both report to me on what’s happening with members of other clubs—who’s siding with who, who’s making deals. And hey, I’ve done my time. I know how desperate it can get in there, you know? Depending on who’s a guest at that specific time. There were some scary-as-fuck dudes in there when I was inside.” He nodded slowly. “Sometimes, all you can do is make a deal to save your ass. Literally, man.”
“I understand that.”
“However, your brother was seen numerous times with members of the Devil’s Den.” He watched carefully to gauge my reaction.
I did everything I could to keep the mug in my hands, even though I almost dropped it on the floor when he said the name. The Devil’s Den? No. Not them. I had never even considered them. It was beyond my worst nightmare.
When I found my voice, I said, “I won’t insult you by asking whether or not you’re sure.”
“Thank you,” he replied. “But in case you’re still wondering, my source is totally reliable.”
“So they were seen together? Or, like, they were seen talking? Did you get any information on how deep things were between them?” I was just talking to hear my own voice and shut out the screaming that was going on in my head. Why the fuck would he make a move like that? Drake would lose his mind. The whole club would lose it.
“It’s my understanding that they formed a fairly tight relationship. The club’s president was inside for the last five years of Gunner’s sentence. He and Eagle were seen together a lot.”
Eagle. What a fucking joke of a name that was. He thought he was a patriot, somebody fighting for his country because he wanted to uphold white supremacy. A bunch of fucking skinheads and my brother was in with them. “I mean if he went to them for protection…”
Bobby nodded. “Yes, I was thinking the same thing.”
“Only why didn’t we hear about it? I mean, that’s the kind of thing you hear about when your brother decides to align with the skinheads.”
“That, I don’t know. Maybe he kept it pretty well secret—my source isn’t just a casual observer if you know what I mean. He makes a point of seeing things, hearing things.”
“Right.” I looked down at the coffee and willed myself to take a long gulp. It was scalding hot and burned its way down my throat, but it was enough to shock me back to the present moment. If my brother were in front of me just then, I would’ve done much worse to him than Bobby did to either of those girls.
“Like I said, people make alliances in prison to keep themselves safe. I understand that. If the wrong people approached Gunner, he might have been desperate to protect himself. And if Patriot knew he was in trouble, he might’ve gone to him with an offer. Now, we just have to wonder what the offer was.”
“Yeah. I wonder, too.”
“You see my concern. If your brother was given instructions to work out a deal when he got out, I can’t be aligned with your club anymore. There’s nothing that’ll bring down the wrath of the law so fast as a bunch of skinheads. They’ll look for any excuse to mess shit up for us, and they’ll come here first.”
“I get it, believe me. I’m just as shocked and concerned about this as you are.” Drake was going to kill him. I was sure of it. If I didn’t kill him first. Why the hell didn’t he ever say anything? He had years to explain himself. We might’ve been able to work something out way before then, maybe arrange for him to be protected by another gang instead. No, he had to be stubborn and work things out on his own. Fucking idiot. He might’ve cost us the biggest thing we had ever been involved with.
Bobby stood. “I want you to get to the bottom of this and work it out. Do what you have to do, only get it done.” He was all business again. There was no going against him when he sounded that way.
“I hear you,” I said. “And I wanna get some answers as much as you do. I only apologize for any damage Gunner might have done already.”
“I’m willing to overlook it, so long as it doesn’t get in the way of my business. It’s in your best interest, too. I don’t make money, you don’t make money.”
I gave him a firm handshake, and his grip was like a vice. He wanted to make sure I knew who the big kid on the playground was, and how easy it would be for him to hurt the club and me. I understood pretty well how dangerous he could be, and I left with a pit in my stomach. He wouldn’t play nice if Gunner fucked things up for him.
9
Violet
“So here’s where I record the accounts receivable.” Nicole showed me the columns on the spreadsheet in front of us. I sat with a notebook in my lap so I could jot down the things she explained.
“And that’s the money we bring in,” I muttered as I stared at her laptop.
“Right. Like I said before, just use the templates I’ve already set up here. When you do, you’ll see it’s pretty easy. Just plugging numbers in and making sure they’re accurate when you do. The formulas I’ve already set up take care of the rest.”
She had to be some kind of genius. It was all Greek to me. But she had a full course load that semester and didn’t have as much time to sit around, taking care of the books. Tamara was busy with an active two-year-old and planning her wedding, so that left me.
“I know you can do this. You can.”
I nodded, chewing my lip. “Yeah.”
“Hey.” She turned away from the computer. “You can. You’re a smart person. You don’t give yourself enough credit.”
I sighed. “I’m not like you. You’re naturally smart. This comes easily to you.”
“Nothing comes that easily to anybody,” she said. “You just have to learn how to do things, is all. Nobody’s born knowing how to do anything.”
“I was never any good in school,” I confessed.
“I mean, I struggled just to pass. I barely graduated.”
“That’s not a crime, and just because you didn’t do well in a school environment doesn’t mean you’re not smart. There are lots of geniuses who didn’t do well on tests, and lots of people who dropped out because school wasn’t for them—but they went on to be successful. School doesn’t really matter once you’re a grown-up, you know.”
“Yeah, I guess so. But you’re going back to school for this stuff.” I motioned to the spreadsheet on the screen. “So it’s all, you know, stuff you’re learning about.”
“Yeah, and I can teach you what I’m learning whenever I get the chance. Trust yourself that you can do this. I bet you’ll be surprised how well you do.”
“If I do well, I know I’ll be surprised.”
She laughed and gave me a hug. “I won’t be. I’ve known since Day One that you were one of the smartest people I know.”
I tried not to laugh at that. One of the smartest people she knew. What a joke. I couldn’t even figure out a man, much less a bunch of numbers that meant nothing to me. I told myself to stop thinking about him while she went over the receipts and showed me where to plug them into another spreadsheet. Those sums went into the main ledger, she said. I scribbled that down. So every single receipt didn’t go into the main ledger. Just the sums. I felt like my brain might explode with everything she was cramming in there.
We both heard the front door slam shut from where we sat in her little office down the hall from the common room. “What the hell was that?” she whispered. It didn’t take long until we found out. Diesel showed up in the doorway, and he looked wild.
“Where’s Gunner?” He looked at us with big, crazy eyes. He was breathing heavy, too.
Nicole was speechless. “Uh, he went out,” I said with a shrug. “He said he would be back in time for dinner tonight. I offered to make something for everybody—I thought he would like a regular sit-down meal.”
“Did he say where he was going?” I had the feeling this was a very important question, just from the way Diesel looked and sounded. Like a lot depended on the answer.
“I’m sorry. He didn’t. And I didn’t ask.” I never did. None of us asked the men where they were going when they went out. It wasn’t our business unless we were their old lady.
“Fuck!” He looked down at the floor. I could see his jaw moving as he ground his teeth together. “If you see him, send him my way. Okay? I’ll be upstairs.”
“Okay.” I was shaking by the time he disappeared.
“What the hell was that about?” Nicole asked. I could hear him pounding his way up the stairs. He slammed the door to his bedroom shut with a bang that echoed through the clubhouse.
“I have no idea. Have you ever seen him that way before? I never have.”
She shook her head. “Hell, I’ve never even seen Drake that way. Or anybody. He looks like he could kill someone.”
“Yeah,” I whispered. And he was looking for Gunner, which meant it was his brother he wanted to kill. “I’m already wondering if it’s a good thing he got released. Does that sound awful?” I whispered.
She looked relieved. “Between you and me? No. It doesn’t. My old man is in charge of this club and if Gunner fucks things up, so help me God.”
“I know. I feel the same way—not the old man thing, of course. You know what I mean. This club is my family, and he’s already been stirring things up. It hasn’t even been two whole days yet.”
Her expression cleared. “Well, we’ll see. Let’s not jump to conclusions. Brothers get mad at each other—it might not even have anything to do with the club.” I wanted to ask if she still believed in Santa Claus, too, since she was so naïve. It was best to let it go.
I couldn’t concentrate on numbers anymore, though. That much was sure. “I’m hungry. Wanna go get a sandwich or something?”
She shook her head. “I have some reading to get done before class at three.” So I offered to pick up something for her. When I reached the front door, I looked up the stairs and wondered if I should get something for him, too. I knew what he liked without having to ask—I had ordered his sandwich a hundred times. I thought it would be a nice thing to do, and it might give me a reason to go up and ask what was wrong with him.
I told myself as I walked to the corner store that I should follow Crystal and Janelle’s advice and lay off him. He hadn’t said a word to me for the rest of the day after he came downstairs the second time. He was moody and disagreeable with everybody else, too. Was he regretting hooking up with me? I hoped not, but when he avoided me the way he did I had to assume I was the problem. I hated thinking we had crossed a line and ruined our friendship. It was hard enough being around him and not being able to touch him or hold him—if I couldn’t even talk to him, I wouldn’t be able to stand it for long.
It would be smart to avoid him and let him work things out with Gunner. I told myself so. But then, I wasn’t very smart, even if Nicole thought I was. I carried lunch back to the clubhouse and dropped off Nicole’s turkey sandwich, then carried the other two upstairs.
My hand shook a little as I raised it to knock at his door. “Yeah?” His voice cut through the air like a knife. I cringed a little.
“It’s me. I got you a sandwich if you’re hungry.”
He laughed. “A sandwich?”
“Yeah.” I didn’t like the way he was talking to me like I was an ass for thinking of him. I put a hand on my hip. “Italian with oil and oregano, no onions. Sorry if that was a stupid thing to do. I’ll leave it here in the hall.” Dickhead, I added silently. It wasn’t my fault his brother was a jerk. He didn’t have to take it out on me when I was only trying to be nice.
I turned away from the door when it opened. “Hey. Don’t go away.”
I looked back at him. “Don’t take this out on me, whatever it is. I just wanted to be sure you’re okay.”
His eyes traveled over my face. I had never seen him look the way he did just then—haunted, maybe. Scared, even, though men like him didn’t get scared. Did they?
“Do you have a minute?” he whispered.
“Yeah.”
“Come in.” He picked up his sandwich and stepped back so I could go inside. I avoided looking at his bed at first. I couldn’t stop thinking about what we did in it. He needed a friend just then, and I had to be there for him. I couldn’t get all weird and giggly. I sat on the floor instead of sitting next to him.
“What’s wrong? Why are you the way you are right now?”
He looked down at paper-wrapped sandwich. “I don’t even think I can eat this. Damn it, I’m so fucked up.”
“Over what?” I forgot all about my tuna salad. He was starting to scare me.
“Remember what I told you here on Saturday night?”
I looked down at the floor when he mentioned that night. I couldn’t help it. If I looked at him when I remembered, he would see how much it had meant to me. I told myself to get my hormones in check. Saturday night. What had he told me? I had forgotten even talking to him since what happened afterward was so earth-shattering.
It hit me. I gasped when I looked back at him. “Oh, shit! You were meeting with Bobby today,” I whispered.
“Yeah.” He let out a short laugh. “And I did.”
“Oh, my God.” I scrambled to my feet and sat on the bed, next to him. “What happened?”
“I have to ask Gunner about it first. I have to get the story from him. I can’t assume anything.” He looked at me, and his eyes darted back and forth across my face. “He was friends with the Devil’s Den inside.”
He clamped a hand over my mouth to muffle the shriek that came out. I didn’t mean to shriek. It just flew out of me when I heard the name. Nobody ever talked about them. They weren’t even part of our universe. He only let go of me after I took a few deep breaths.
“You’re sure?” I gasped.
“Bobby told me so. His source is reliable, he says.” He shook his head. “I should
n’t even be telling you this, but I have to think it out. You’re good at listening.”
I overlooked the weak compliment. “Holy shit, Diesel! This is worse than anything he could’ve done!”
“I know. Don’t you think I know?” He got up and walked back and forth, punching his palm with the other fist. “Son of a bitch. He might be with them right now, you know? That might be where he went yesterday. Who knows what he told them he would do when he got out? I mean, when you’re inside, and you’re making promises, you might not think about the day when you actually have to make good on those promises.”
I understood what he meant. When a person was desperate, they wouldn’t think about having to pay back the person helping them. Especially when it would be years before the payback was due. He could’ve promised a million different things as long as they would protect him. “I guess they’re pretty much respected on the inside,” I whispered.
“Respected, hated, feared. Same as they are out here. Goddamn it, anybody but them. Anybody.”
My blood ran cold. Drake would lose it. I had only seen him lose it a few times, and it wasn’t pretty. For the most part, he could keep himself under control—when he did explode, though, it was best to be far away. He would explode on Gunner, no doubt.
“You should talk to Gunner about it first,” I murmured. “Find out what he promised to do for them.”
“He’s gonna tell me a bunch of half-assed lies.”
“Then you don’t have a choice, do you?” I looked up at him. I hated sounding harsh, but that was the truth. “I mean, either way, he’s going to have to know what’s happening. You can give Gunner the chance to explain himself to you first, but either way, Drake’s got to know. It’s his club we’re talking about.”
“Yeah, and my brother. This sorta reflects on me.”
“He’s his own person.”
“You know the worst part?” It was like he didn’t hear me. All he heard were his own thoughts. I decided to let him babble if he needed to.