Valerie

by Richa Resa

  "I will give you an extra hour for a break tomorrow, and I’m not as bad as you think." The words left my mouth, and drew Melanie from her shock, or spacing out, whatever it was.

  "Oh .. Sorry... And, no, you are not bad. But, you never asked for me a favour before. It's just that for past few days you were back to being a snappy and rude old boss." She was right, I was being a bitch to the people who didn't deserve it, and Melanie was one of them, because she was working the closest to me. She had pointed it out once before, and I had apologized for it. I was glad she did. It made me realize that my anger should stay focused on the people who were worth it, and not the rest of the world.

  "Sorry." Melanie gave me a sweet smile for it in return.

  "You can go on. I will make the excuse, don't worry… But, could I cash in that extra lunch hour for any other time, when I need it?" I nodded, and was out of my office, thanking her. Hailing a cab, I was back to him. I was hurting him and loving it. Only he could give me my clarity. I was soon inside of his building, and my day couldn't have gotten any better. Maya, the blonde who showed me the way around Aiden's office the first time, was present, I can say, she was happy to see me.

  "Hey," She greeted, as I walked towards her, with a full-blown smile on her face.

  "Hey, Maya. I need some time with your CEO. Could you help me surprise him with a visit, and make his secretary, whoever it is, disappear for a while." I whispered, sweetly, and was glad that no one knew about the past between Aiden and me. She understood me, and thought that this was for pure love, but damn was she wrong. She quickly called someone through the phone and spoke hastily. Soon, we were walking to the elevators and moving up to his office.

  "I have asked Jerry to go out for a while. He is the new secretary Mr. Aiden had hired. He just told me to give him a call when he was needed back. Mr. Aiden had been doing a shit load of work for a while, and he was in a need of a break. So, take as much time as you need." She winked at me, just as the doors opened, and I walked out. There was no one there. I waltzed in his office without knocking. It was walking like I fucking owned the place.

  "Jerry, I asked you to not to come back until you have all the reports-" Aiden snapped, but when his eyes set on me, he stopped mid-sentence. He looked weary, dark circles evident under his eyes. It felt like he was tiring himself out on purpose. His breathing hitched. I locked the door and threw my bag aside. Our eyes set on each other. I undid my top knot and let it fall over my shoulders. I walked towards him, while my hands worked at undoing the zipper of my dress. It was wrong to do this to him but seeing him like this made me pity him. It softened me, made me crave him. Soon, I was pushing my dress off and walking towards him, only in my bra and panties. I could see him getting worried. Pain flashed through his eyes. It hurt me to see him like this but he did this to himself.

  Pushing him back in his chair, I sat down straddling him. Our eyes bore into each other. Cradling his face in my hands, I let my lips fall over his. I sucked over his bottom lip and kissed him hungrily. I wanted to control myself and get a grip but it was impossible. I just couldn't. Not when he looked like this. He opened his lips to give me more access, and soon the world was lost. His hands roaming over my body, feeling me, caressing me. Our tongues dancing in sync, teasing each other. When we broke apart, our breaths shallow and eyes filled with lust. I shouldn't have done this. I would hurt me, I would hurt him. I would destroy myself. I should stop... but I didn't.

  "I need answers, Aiden. I need the truth.” I paused. “I want you to make love to me and tell it to me. I need to know that every word you say is the truth even if it tears me apart, I want it." I whispered to him, and a flash of emotion passed through his eyes. Regret evident in them. Guilt swimming in those eyes, and it made my heart drop. It made my heart beat faster in anticipation of the worst.

  With guilt in his eyes he nodded to give me answers.

  Chapter 16

  Aiden

  She looked at me with those painful, desperate, eyes and it broke me from inside, second by second. I had done this to her. I had made her so desperate. It was my words, and regrets that turned her so cold. I was scared for her. She was asking for far too much. If I gave her what she wanted, I would be pushing her far away. I would be turning her into something more devious and broken. The touch of her creamy skin under my hands, made me desperate enough to lie to her. I was a goddamn bastard for wanting her. To try to prove my innocence, when there wasn't. I couldn't turn back the time. I couldn't take back the promise I gave through my eyes, to tell her the truth. I was going to damage her forever, and I wouldn't be getting out of it without inflicting wounds upon myself. The pain, and hatred I would see in her eyes, will ruin me forever. I shouldn't have promised her that. I knew after this, there will be no we, no us, she and I will never be the same. I could see the old Val resurfacing, the one who had loved me.

  She bent down, and kissed me, it felt like she was giving me courage and strength to speak the truth. When she pulled away, I wanted to beg her to not stop kissing me. I wanted to prolong the period of our kiss. All I wanted was to distract her from the truth. Lust willed domination over my body, and I let it. In the hopes, that it will prolongs the inevitable. Without thinking, I reached for her face, and kissed her, with all of the love I have ever felt for her. My hand was tracing patterns on her back, aching for her to kiss me with the same passion she loved me with. She did. Her hands were tugging on my hair, asking for more access to my mouth, and I gave it to her. I would have given her everything I could, to have her to stop from asking me the truth. I picked her up, and sat her on my desk, while my lips trailed a path of kisses along her neck and shoulder blade. This moment should never end. I wanted to be stuck with her here forever. Her hands unbuttoned my shirt, while I unfastened her bra. Her creamy skin was my nectar. I wanted to suck each and every part of her. I wanted her to be mine forever.

  "I love you, Val." As her lips left my lips, the trance of lust in which Val was, followed. Before I could have done something, she pushed me back. I didn't find defeat. Like an animal, I pushed my weight against her. My lips smacking over hers. My one hand tugging her hair and the other, making path to her pussy. I should stop I wanted to shout at myself, but I couldn't. There was devastation to come after this. I was acting like a dick, but I was not letting her go. As my fingers touched her clit, I found her body melting into me. She moaned and whimpered for more of my touch. In mere seconds, I undid myself, and my cock sprang out. I was hard for her. I was an animal for her last taste, for my last feast.

  My conscience was shouting at me to stop, but I didn't. I tore down her panties in a swift movement. As the gasp left her lips, I was inside of her. I was making love to her as an animal. It was wrong for me to do this on so many levels. I was wrong. I was being rough with her in a way I never had. This was wrong, but I didn't stop. Val didn't deserve this, not after I broke her heart. My thrusts grew faster, and harder, and soon an orgasm rippled through, making her scream, soon followed by my own release. Our heavy breathing, and pants filled the room. I drew out from her and zipped my pants up way too fast. I wanted to know what she was thinking, how she felt, but didn't take the risk of looking in her eyes. I just couldn't, after what I did. I moved away from her and strode towards the window. I heard movements behind me. I waited minutes, before I looked back. Val was dressing back into her dress.

  "Ask me what you want." My heart dropped, as those words left my lips. I reminded myself, that she deserved the truth. I heard her movements stop, but they continued again. Minutes passed between us in silence.

  "I want you to turn around, and look straight in my eyes, when you answer my questions, Aiden." Her voice, laced with anger, boomed in my office. Why was she making this hard on me? What did she want to see in my eyes? I couldn't face her, when I answered the questions she asked.

  "I promise to tell you the truth, Val, just don't ask me this." I pleaded with her while holding a defeated stance.

  "Please," I beg
ged. Silence consumed us.

  "The first time you saw me, what did you think of?" She asked, desperately, and waited for me to answer. There was no going back from this now.

  "Laura," my voice, barely louder than a whisper. I didn't know what she was thinking but I knew she was in pain.

  "Explain yourself." This was the hardest part. I was going to rip away anything she had towards me, by hurting her like this.

  "Laura chose Drew over me that day. I knew that there wasn't any hope left for me and her. I wanted to drown in my pain and sorrow... that was, when I saw you. So much like her. For a moment, I actually thought it was her, but after staring at you all night, I knew it wasn't. My mind was fucked up. In that moment, I said to myself, that if I couldn't get Laura, I will take you up and pretend that you were her." Tears welled up in my eyes, as I told her this. I was a such a fucking bastard. Alcohol had dazed up my mind that day, when I thought of such a monstrous thought.

  "That is why you agreed so easily for us to be in just a relationship based on physical needs." She concluded, and I nodded after a moment. I should run away. I was destroying everything. I will be tearing her soul apart.

  "When we slept together, who was it you slept with. Me or Laura?" Why was she doing this? What did she want accomplish? I stood in silence. I didn't want to hurt her anymore. Tears fell from my eyes, and I couldn't stop them. Don't do this. Don't fucking answer it.

  "Answer me goddamn it!" She shouted at me, but I didn't react. Her heels clicked, as she walked towards me. Grabbing my collar, she made me look at her. Her face stained with tears, and her eyes getting bloodshot. Pain masking her face. I hated to see her like this.

  "Answer me." She whispered, as tears streamed down her cheeks. She pushed me towards the glass window, as her hands punched me in my chest.

  "You promised to tell me the truth," She said in low voice. Tears escaped my eyes. I did this to us. It was all my fault.

  "It was her," I whispered. She stumbled back. Her hands leaving me. Her hand collided with my cheek. I deserved that. Before I could reel back, she slapped me again. The stinging wasn't enough for me, I deserved more pain.

  "How could you?" She screeched in anger. Seeing her like this broke me from inside every second. Her every tear tore me apart. She sobbed.

  "For the first few months, I pretended you were her. I couldn't get her out of my system, but you had started to grow on me. After five months, I saw you for the very first time. My mind was cleared, and I was able to differentiate between you and her. Your moans, were louder than hers. Your curves, were fuller. Your eyes, were a different shade. Your skin, so soft and creamy, you tasted like honey. I saw you, as you and I hated myself. I hated what I had done. I should have stopped myself but I didn’t." The first time I stopped pretending she was Laura, I saw her, and appreciated her. She was more beautiful than Laura. She was much more to me, than Laura was. I realized that, but it was too late. I hated how I started this relationship. I cursed God, for letting me have such a thought.

  "Why??" She screeched and sobbed. "Why me? Why didn't you fucking leave me the hell alone then? Huh!? Why didn't you stop? Why did you make me fall in love with you? Why!?" With every word, she cried more. Her soul tore apart with every word I spoke.

  "Because, I couldn't leave you," I whispered. "You were sent to me by God. You were mine. Every moment I spent with you, I learned a little more about you. Every fucking second, I laid with you, I fell for you a little more. And after nine months, I couldn't see myself without you. You became my addiction. I hated our fights, your bitchiness, you walking out on me, but I loved you. That’s why I came back to you, like a wounded dog. I craved for your love, and care." I couldn't stop myself from telling her this. I raised my head and looked at her. She stood there staring at me. Tears silently rolled down, but no more sound from her.

  "I won't lie to you, Val. I love you." My words made her eyes burn with fury. In those eyes, swam pain and anger for me. Hatred, was written all over her face. Wiping away her tears with all her fury, she looked at me.

  "You don't." Her angry voice let me know. "You never loved me enough, Aiden. I was bitchy, I was cold hearted, but never I thought you to be someone else while I was with you. You were always my Aiden to me. I never pretended you to be Drew, or anyone else. It was always fucking you, Aiden. You made me fall in love with you, bastard. I bet you fucking thought I wouldn't ever know right? You should have told me this, when you fucking realized that I was not your pretty, fucking Laura, but me. I fucking hate her, you know. For me, she is an evil fucking bitch. She ruined my life with you, too." Hearing those words for Laura, snapped something in me.

  "Don't drag her into this!" I shouted before, I could stop myself. Her lips thinned into a straight line. Anger burned her eyes, and it killed me.

  "You are not like Drew, you are so much worse than him. You're pretty Laura, must be really something. I gladly curse the day she was born." She laughed hysterically and told me. She insulted me, and I deserved it, but I was not like him.

  "You are wrong, Val. I’m not like him, because unlike him I do love you. I love you, Val, and nothing can change that." I could never make her believe now that I love her. It was a losing battle. I have torn us down, I have done the damage.

  "You love Laura too, Aiden, don’t you!?" Her voice grew cold, and distant with every second. I couldn't say anything. I had torn her apart so much, that I couldn't do this to her anymore.

  "One last thing, Aiden. One last thing I want to know. If, at this moment, I forgave you, and Drew and Laura aren’t anymore. Who would you choose? Me or Laura?" She asked, and for a moment, there was a flash of hope in her eyes. I looked away from her. I couldn't answer that. No.

  "Don't you dare look away from me! Look me in the eyes and tell me! Tell me goddamnit. I deserve this last truth!!!" She bawled.

  "I love her." I whispered, staring at her. It felt like her soul was ripped out from her. I killed her with those last three words. I killed her. Her eyes grew soulless, within a second. She stared at me, and a part of me died. I was a bastard and a killer. Seconds grew to minutes, and it felt like I was lost in time.

  "I never want to see you again. Even if you die, I would rather spit on your lifeless face, than cry tears for you. You don't deserve anything from me. Even my hatred is not worth giving to you." Her cold, distant voice spat.

  "I hope you don't get her, and I will try to make sure of that, too." Those were her last words, as she strode out of my office.

  "But, I love you too..." I spoke, as I saw her walking away. I wished her to stop, and turn back, and see me again, because I was a bastard. My eyes turned blurry, before I fell to my knees and cried. I was a fucked-up bastard, who was in love with two women, and couldn't make a choice. My world turned upside down. I cried and sobbed for her love that I had purely lost. What had I done?

  Why couldn't I just have chosen her? Why was I so damn confused? I didn't deserve anyone of them.

  Chapter 17

  Valerie

  I broke a lot more than expected from the inside, with every truth he told. I walked out of his office in a daze. All I wanted, was to just get out of there. I was lost, numb and broken. I wanted to laugh at myself. What was new? I had gone through this so many times. Heartbreaks they say. I have felt it when my father started to cheat on my mother. Again, when I found her dead, and, again when my drunken father bought his friends and whores to the house. Small little heartbreaks I had gone through but went through one of the worst when Drew dumped me, and the worst, when I came to know Aiden and Drew never loved me for me. Then, why was the pain and heartbreak I was feeling, making me feel like I was dying on the inside? I was crying from the inside. My heart was bleeding from the cuts his every word made.

  Why did I feel so destroyed now? Why did it feel like everything was falling apart? I had cried too much. Felt so much pain. So, then, why does it fell so different this time? Aiden had hurt me once before. I had faced that pain and heartbreak.
I should have been used to this. To this pain, but I felt so devastated this time. I wanted to drown in my own tears, but I couldn't even cry. Why should I cry? I had lost him already. I had set that in my own mind. Then, why did it feel like a stake pierced my heart? I hailed a cab and told him my address. I wanted to shout, scream and cry but I just couldn't. I saw my tear-stained face, but I didn’t see it as me. I saw it as Laura. I wanted to scratch away my face. Destroy it. It was the reason for all the misery I had to face today. It was the fucking reason for my heartbreak now. I just wanted to be loved for my own self. When did that become so hard?

  I didn't cry anymore. I couldn't feel. I was numb. It felt like there was nothing left inside of me. For so many years, I had given my everything to those two people, only to have it thrown back at me, being turned into ashes. My love, trust, faith, body and soul. Everything I gave, came back to me broken; beyond repair. What had I done to deserve this? What was my mistake in all of this? Whose mistake was I paying for? The cab dropped me at my house, and in a haze, I paid to the driver. I was lost. Nothing mattered to me. I knocked on my door, and in minutes, Dad opened it. I brush past him, into the house, like the dead person I was.

  "Val," I could hear my dad calling, but it seemed so far away.

  "Val!" My dad followed me to my room, yelling out my name. I just wanted to close my eyes and die, but what was it worth?

  "Val," Dad yelled in my face, and slapped me, hard.

  "I have been calling you for so long. God, what happened, Val." He said, with his voice low in worry.

  "What happened, Val? You are scaring me." He asked cradling my face. Looking into my dad's eyes, I saw concern, and worry like no other. It gave me comfort to know that there was at least someone who loved me for me.

  "Tell me what happened? Why do you look so..... broken?" What should I tell him? Where should I begin?