“Butterfly!”
I heard Cam’s voice, but I still didn’t see him. He would surely save me from this asshat.
“Lex!”
Where is he? Why hasn’t he gotten here yet? Fatigue was crying throughout my wobbly legs, and my arms were shaking with wariness. I wouldn’t be able to hold the door much longer.
Vibrations from the ground shook my apartment. The door pulsated beneath my fingers, and my whole body trembled. This is a crazy time to have an earthquake. Maryland hardly ever got earthquakes, but the rippling effects intensified.
“Lex, you’re having a bad dream. Open your eyes.”
I had no idea that my eyes were closed, so I forced myself to open them. The hazy film faded, and Cam’s face came into focus, leaning over me. Not trusting where I was, I glanced around, taking in my surrounding. After a brief survey, I recognized my apartment. Hot, wet tears slid down my face. I couldn’t believe that dream had felt so real. Cam pulled me upright into a seated position on the couch and drew me into his chest. I flopped my limp, exhausted body against him while he wrapped his arms around me. I didn’t hate the hug at all. I felt safe. He saved me.
“Do you want to tell me about your dream?” he asked as he rocked me gently against his chest and stroked my hair.
I merely shook my head. I was wiped out. I was out of breath and out of words.
“Do you have bad dreams all the time?” He pushed me away only far enough to see my face. I twisted my head away from him so I could divert the glowing amber orbs and their penetrating gaze. “Butterfly, whatever ghosts you have in your past can’t hurt you anymore. I’ll never ever let anyone or anything hurt you again.” He brushed his soft, warm lips against my cheek, but I continued to face away from him. “You don’t have to tell me if you’re not ready. But I want you to know that I am not going anywhere. I’ll be here for you always.”
I wanted to believe him. I really did. I wanted him to be different than other men and to be able to trust him. I felt myself letting go of those thoughts, and I collapsed against his chest again. The tears slid down my face, but I didn’t have the overwhelming feeling to sob. Maybe the tears weren’t completely from sadness. Maybe they were partially because I had Batman back. Maybe he would help save me from my memories.
It continued to rain, so we ordered Chinese. I was pleasantly surprised to find out that sesame chicken was Cam’s favorite entrée also. Although he preferred fried rice, and I preferred steamed rice, we both loved sesame chicken. I wondered if this was how a relationship started. A man and a woman have similar likes and interests, and they connect with each other. I definitely felt drawn to Cam. I wondered if or when he’d turn into an asshole. Because right now, I couldn’t imagine that he would ever hurt me. He even said he would protect me from being hurt by someone else. I would have to convince myself that I was strong enough to walk away if things moved in the wrong direction.
Until recently, I had lived my life alone. I didn’t want to let other people into it. I’d finally managed to make something of myself, but what would it cost me in the end? I need to be brave enough to live in the moment. Charlie had been a good friend to me. She was honest, fun, and kind-hearted. She worked with me, so I really didn’t want to risk letting anything about my past slip around her. This, of course, meant I couldn’t tell Cam about my past, either. He’d already admitted that he told his sister everything.
I looked over at the dark-haired man eating his Chinese food with chopsticks, and I glanced down at my own plate while I was holding a fork. Lord, I’m boring. “Hey, Cam, can you teach me how to use those things?”
He moved his chopsticks open and shut with his fingers. “These things?”
I nodded in agreement.
“Of course. You’ve never used chopsticks before?”
I shook my head.
“Well, all right. This can be another first.”
I thought I would see a smile, but he was all matter of fact.
He placed his utensils on his plate and grabbed the other pair of wooden sticks from the wrapper on my breakfast bar where we sat and slipped them out. Then he reached over to grab my hand, placing the slender wooden rods in the proper places with my fingers and thumb. He held my hand and showed me how to maneuver the chopsticks. I practiced with the chicken first and then moved onto the rice. I didn’t do very well with the rice. It all wanted to fall apart. The pieces of chicken were easier to grasp. He encouraged me and watched me eat while he left his own food to get cold.
Once he felt fairly confident in my ability of mastering the art of using chopsticks, he resumed eating his own dinner. “So, Butterfly, I was thinking.” He talked while shoving food into his mouth. Didn’t his mother ever tell him not to talk with his mouth full? “I was thinking I would spend the night again.”
“Uh…no.” Because uh…no.
“Don’t worry. Spend the night means just sleeping. No sex.” He waggled his brows at me as he continued to chew. “I mean it. I promise, even if you beg me for sex, I absolutely will not have sex with you. Pinky swear.”
“No. I’m not letting you spend the night.” I was curious about what brought this on, though.
“If you have a nightmare, I’ll already be here. It’ll save me a trip in the middle of the night.” So that’s what this was. A humiliating, deflated feeling swirled in my belly.
“I’m so sorry about calling you last night. I hadn’t had a nightmare in a really long time, and I guess I got a little freaked out. I won’t call you like that again.” I gave up on the chopsticks, deciding I was finished eating at that point.
He reached for my hand, and although I felt like I should pull away, I didn’t offer much resistance. His face was set in a hard, determined expression contrasted by his soft, pleading voice. “Please call me whenever you need me. Call me whenever you want to. I just want to be with you. I can’t explain it. I’ve never felt like I wanted to see a woman more than I want to see you. I have never—and will never—get tired of seeing or hearing you. I will come over at a moment’s notice.” He released the light touch from my hand and reached for a stray tendril of hair, but rather than brush it away again and tuck it behind my ear, he twirled it around his finger. “Let me stay tonight. I let you leave my place last night, but please don’t make me leave yours tonight.”
How am I going to say no? He could probably ask me anything at this moment and I’d give in.
I licked my lips once again, thinking he might kiss me. His gaze encouraged me closer, and I inched my head toward his willingly. Then he broke his stare and looked back at his plate.
What just happened? “So if I let you stay, it’s going to be innocent like a slumber party?”
My comment got him to return his attention in my direction. “Oh, hell no. Claudette and her friends used to paint their nails, watch chick flicks, and call boys. They chattered loudly and made high-pitched squealing noises over everything.”
“I was never invited to a sleepover when I was a kid, so I wouldn’t have any idea what it was really like, other than what I’ve seen on TV or in movies.” No way would I have ever had a friend stay over my childhood house, and being so withdrawn made no one want to reach out to me either.
Cam thunderously clapped his hands together once, startling me from my straying thoughts. “Well, that can be another first then.” He stood from his stool and hugged me quickly. “We can eat junk food and ice cream. We can even watch a chick flick if you want.”
“Shouldn’t I have a slumber party with a girl? Not…well, not…with you?”
“Hey, when I was growing up, Charlie and Louis and I had sleepovers all the time. Boys can have sleepovers with girls.” He flashed that mischievous grin in my direction, and my heart rate kicked up a notch.
“I don’t know, Cam. I think it’s weird…where are you going to sleep?” I gestured around at my small one-bedroom apartment.
“I’ll sleep wherever you want me to. And maybe it’s weird for Cam. But it�
�s not weird for Batman.”
I threw an exaggerated eye roll at him. I really and truly liked him. He’d stayed at my apartment last night. What’s the harm in another night? Of course I would waver eventually. His irresistible charm had me swimming in a pool of trouble.
“Okay. Batman can stay over…but he better be a good guy and not a villain under that mask.” My heart proceeded to engage in tumultuous flip-flops.
“And in the morning, I’ll take you to breakfast, and then we can go for a bike ride.” He was standing now and cleaning up our dinner remains. He gathered the dishes and scraped the plates. He even put the leftovers in the fridge. My father and certainly my mother’s boyfriend had never cleaned a kitchen—or anything remotely domestic.
“Um…Cam…”
He’d think I was weird. One of these times, he would realize how strange I was and give up on the thought of being friends with me.
“Yes, Butterfly.” He held his gaze at me for a breathtaking moment while I tried my best to work up my nerve to confess something embarrassing about myself.
I took a deep breath and turned my face away as I huffed out my comment. “I don’t know how to ride a bike.”
“Okay. We can ride a surrey on the boardwalk. It’s like a bike, but we can sit next to each other on a bench and pedal with our feet. It will be fun. Have you ever done that before?” Is he kidding?
I shook my head.
“Great! Another first. I’m truly hoping with all the firsts I’m around for that you won’t be able to forget me.” He approached me while I still sat on my bar stool. Then he tilted his head so close to me that his forehead eventually rested on mine. “But you need to stop doing this.”
I licked my lips, unsure of how to respond. “What…what am I doing?”
“You act like you want me to kiss you.”
I pulled away slightly. Was it that obvious?
A beat later, his hands pulled me back into him, and he kissed the top of my head with a brief peck. “Hey, that’s a first that I don’t want to rush. Okay?”
Crap. “Will you at least tell me when that’s going to be? I’ve already told you that I hate surprises.” I felt his Adam’s apple move up and down along the side of my head as he laughed.
“Sure. I’ll make sure you have a pretty good idea of when it’s going to happen.” His masculine warmth felt so good against me.
We watched a rom-com and ate popcorn. We opted to stay away from ice cream, deciding to leave that for the next time instead. When I was ready to go to bed, Cam followed me into my bedroom. He promised to sit with me until I fell asleep and then go out to my living room and sleep on the couch. Therefore, I was a little surprised when the light of day filtered through the curtains and there was a shirtless man in my bed next to me.
The warmth of his body pressed against mine, even though I wasn’t even facing in his direction. When I shifted my weight, his arm and leg draped across me and pinned me in place. “Hey, Cam?”
“Mhmm.” He pulled me into him and cuddled closer to me, if that was even possible.
“Cam!” I had to raise my voice to get him to wake up.
It worked. He bolted upright. I turned over to face him. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands, and his day-old stubble covered his jawline.
“You startled me.”
I heard his words, but I was looking at the six-pack ripple of abs staring right at me.
“I’m sorry. You kind of had me pinned. I couldn’t move.” I no longer wanted to move, actually. I couldn’t remember why I wanted him to move away from me, either. I was pretty sure I liked having this beautiful man in my bed. I was also pretty sure he had slept in many other women’s beds before mine. It was probably a habit; his motions were just automatic.
My happiness faded, which was most likely apparent to Cam. “Why do you suddenly look sad, Butterfly?” He was fully awake now. “I’m sorry about not moving to the couch last night. I must’ve fallen asleep.”
He must have thought I was upset that he’d slept in my bed, given his explanation. I guess he didn’t realize that I’d found myself upset that he had slept in so many other beds.
With a brush of his fingers across my temple, I instinctively pulled away. “Seriously, Lex, what’s up?”
I rolled out of bed and began my walk toward the bathroom. Cam’s feet hit the ground behind me, and he fell into step as I walked. I swiftly whirled around to address his close presence. “Cam, I’m going to the bathroom. I don’t want you following me.”
He really didn’t deserve the cold shoulder I was giving him, but I needed a second to breathe again. So I splashed water on my face and brushed my teeth. When I felt ready to confront him again, I stepped back into my bedroom, but he wasn’t there. I walked the few steps toward my living room when I saw his broad shoulders covered in a T-shirt and his back to me.
“I’m sorry I snapped at you this morning.”
He held his position for a beat before turning around to respond to my comment. His dark hair was tousled, and I swear, he totally rocked the just-rolled-out-of-bed look. “I just figured you weren’t a morning person.”
I expected a smile after his comment, but his face continued to hold a serious expression.
“Waking up with you in my bed was a little awkward.” I dug deep to extract the courage prior to expelling my insightful opinion, or more accurately, before saying something I prepared to regret fly out of my mouth. “I’m sure you’re used to waking up next to a woman, but I’m not used to waking up next to a man.”
Okay, so now he smiled. That delightfully amazing, sexy, playful grin that I was sure would have any woman wanting to go to bed with him, stretched out effortlessly across his chiseled features, even creasing the outer corners of his hazel eyes. “I don’t make it a habit of waking up next to a woman. Honestly, I have never wanted to spend the night with a woman before.”
“But you’ve spent the last two nights with me.” What the hell am I doing?
“Yeah, I guess I should’ve said that I have never wanted to spend the night with a woman before now.”
My heart rate accelerated, and my mouth absolved of any moisture. I had to swallow that dry lump pretty forcefully as his bare feet carried him to me. His super masculine presence invaded my personal space without physically touching me. So when he placed his hands on my waist, a quiet gasp escaped me. And when he pulled me toward him, I couldn’t find my ability to put distance between us again. My breasts bumped into his hard chest with a soft thump, knocking me off balance, initiating my whole weight to crash against him. My cheek rested against him until he stroked the bottom of my chin with his finger, urging me to look up at him.
He leaned down. His six-foot-plus frame towered over my five-foot-five body. “I’m hoping you feel the same about me. I want you to tell me that you’ve never wanted to spend the night with a man before now, and you have never wanted to wake up next to a man before now.” His throaty, masculine voice caused those butterflies to flutter their wings against the lining of my stomach again, while my lady parts flooded with warmth and tingly sensations.
“Are you going to kiss me now?” My voice was barely a whisper, because I couldn’t seem to choke out the words.
“Is that okay with you?” His swirling amber-colored orbs searched mine with a fiery desire and longing.
I nodded eagerly. Hell, yes!
“Then I’m going to kiss the hell out of you, Butterfly.”
He was right. From the moment his lips collided with mine—even before that—I envisioned this was going to be the best kiss I’d ever had in my life. It would most likely be the best kiss I would ever have in my life. His lips were soft, but his day-old stubble scratched against my face as he kissed and sucked on my lips. When his tongue urged my mouth open, I gladly complied with the unspoken request. His silky tongue skillfully explored every part of the warmth inside of my mouth.
His large hands cupped the sides of my face, sending scorching heat t
hrough my cheeks. I wanted him closer to me, so I awkwardly wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing myself against him. The increased contact caused the warmth to spread throughout my entire body. The simmering heat transformed to a full boil, and soon, I was perspiring. He certainly wouldn’t find that very attractive. Self-consciousness and embarrassment pounded in my head. I tried to pull away, but he kept me close to him.
My brain shouted, my lady parts sang, my heart thumped, and my lungs struggled to get enough air. That’s what finally caused me to break free from that amazing, time-freezing kiss. I needed a moment to collect myself. Apparently, he did, too. His breathing was rapid and shallow. I had seen hyperventilation before, but it was smoking hot on him. His eyes begged for my patience. So I waited, which allowed me the opportunity to regain my own composure as he took several, quick gasps before speaking.
“I’ve tried to keep things platonic, Lex. I really have. But I’m so drawn to you. It’s like this invisible force that is more powerful than me. I don’t… I won’t press things on you that you aren’t ready for. I really don’t want you to feel pressured into anything. I promise, I’ll be okay with just being around you.”
“I wanted you to kiss me, Cam.” I dropped my gaze, like I often did when I was embarrassed. “I’m not like you. I’m awkward and self-conscious. And I’m still trying to figure a lot of things out.”
With the delicate touch of a feather, his soft lips brushed against my forehead. “Butterfly, you’re amazing. You’re mysterious and warm and caring. I’m fascinated by the fact that you are so innocent at times, but also a total badass that carries a switchblade. I want to be around you all the time.”
Well, damn. What am I supposed to say to that? His comment gave me enough of a confidence boost to pull my eyes back up at his and boldly connect back to his.
“So where do we go from here?” I was definitely moving into uncharted territory. I loved being around him, but I was also aware someone like him had the ability to hurt me…a lot.
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