Butterfly Girl

by Greenleigh Adams

  “Neither was I.” He removed his fingers from within me and kissed my swollen lips. “Tell me a secret.”

  “A secret?” I shook my head and attempted to move out from beneath him. Realizing that I was still uncomfortably naked, I reached for the bedspread to cover my exposed skin.

  Seeing my discomfort, Cam grabbed his shirt off the floor and handed it to me. I wasted no time pulling it over my head and tugging it down to cover all my lady parts.

  “I don’t mean a secret, per se. I just mean, tell me something I don’t know. I want to learn everything about you.” He linked his thumb with mine. I was beginning to think he realized that gesture held a sweet spot in my heart. That precious memory had replayed in my head over and over again, always giving me a happy outlet. How can I say no to anything when he makes a butterfly out of holding my hand? He was probably already aware of this, but if he wasn’t, I didn’t want him to let on that he could have that kind of power over my actions.

  “I like salad, but I don’t like salad dressing.” It was a meaningless piece of personal information, but I had to offer him something.

  He smiled before hugging me, and I swear, he sniffed my hair. “Was that too difficult?”

  “Well, you gave me my first orgasm, so I guess I felt like I owed you something.” I was kidding, but he pulled away quickly, and those damn hazel eyes bore into my soul.

  “First of all, you don’t ever owe me anything. Got it?”

  I nodded silently.

  “And secondly…really? That was your first?” I nodded again, and the smile that stretched across his gorgeous face revealed the devilish grin that I always thought was trouble. “Well, I said I wanted to be there for all your firsts.” Then his lips met mine again.

  I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth and change into the pajamas I had packed. When I walked back into Cam’s room, he was lying beneath the covers. The bedspread was covering part of him, but his very exposed, shirtless chest was on display. Is he planning to sleep without his shirt?

  He patted the spot next to him. I tentatively approached and sat next to him, sinking into the mattress.

  “Aren’t you going to get under the covers?” His hand brushed alongside my thigh, and I was glad I had on long pants instead of shorts.

  “This feels weird to me.” I was about to sleep with a man. Not have sex with a man. I had never done that before. And I didn’t feel ready to do that with Cam. “Tell me something about you.” Maybe if he shared more things about himself, it wouldn’t feel so awkward.

  Cam sat up straighter so the quilt fell further down his body. Now, not only his chest, but his chiseled abs were on display as well. “What do you want to know? I told you, I’ll reveal any secret you want to hear.”

  “It doesn’t need to be a secret.” I glanced at him, then at his bed, and around his room, painfully feeling out of place.

  “Are you wondering how many other girls have slept here?” Damn, he was perceptive. “The answer is none. I’m sure you aren’t interested in hearing specifics about my previous relationships, but you are curious if I have ever slept next to another woman.” He grabbed my hand and pulled me toward him with enough force that I almost fell right on top of him. I managed to catch myself with my other hand by resting it on his chest. “Butterfly, you are the only woman I want to have next to me while I sleep. I want to see you right before I close my eyes for the night, and I want to see you first thing in the morning when they open for the first time of the day.” Well damn. “So please, crawl under these covers so I can go to sleep holding you.”

  I couldn’t very well say no. I mean, I was already in my pajamas. So I slipped beneath the blanket and curled onto my side. Cam pulled me close and effectively spooned me. He kissed the back of my neck, which sent a wonderful shiver down my spine. “Goodnight, Butterfly.”

  I didn’t have any nightmares that night. In fact, I slept so well that when I woke up the next day, I was in near panic mode; I opened my eyes and didn’t recognize where I was. It quickly brought me back to my homeless days. It was dangerous to fall asleep anywhere, really. I’d become so accustomed to only closing my eyelids for very brief periods of time and retaining a light sleeper status when I did succumb to slumber. Although, even with my eyes closed, I still felt very aware of the environment around me.

  So after the wave of terror passed through me, I realized I was in Cam’s room. I could still smell him next to me, but he wasn’t there. The room was bright from the sunlight of the day bouncing off the walls, shining in through the cracks of the mini-blinds covering his windows.

  I reluctantly pulled back the comforter and sheet to release my legs and swung them around to the side of the bed so I could drop my feet onto the carpet. It was quiet in his apartment. I was sure he wasn’t there. I would have sensed him. I peered into the bathroom and walked into the living room and kitchen area. He wasn’t there, either.

  There was a note folded in half and taped to the door. There was a butterfly drawn on the front of the paper. When I approached it, I realized it wasn’t just a drawing. It was a sketch with shading and details that had obviously taken a long time to complete. It was done in plain pencil, but I was impressed with the delicate features captured on the piece of paper.

  Knowing he had drawn this beautiful piece of art for me made me want to cry. Not sad tears, but happy ones. The joyous kind that developed with a surge of emotion in your chest, moved up your throat, made you smile, and formed into water leaking from the corners of your eyes.

  Butterfly,

  You were sleeping so peacefully when I woke up that I didn’t want to wake you. I was hoping you were having good dreams. I had to go to work, but we can talk later. I’m pretty sure you have ruined me from ever being able to sleep in my bed without you now. I don’t think I’ve ever slept so soundly in my life. I love feeling the warmth of your body cuddled up next to me, and your easy breathing is a very calming sound. Charlie told me you work the next few nights. I’ll be by with coffee. I miss you already, and I haven’t even left yet.

  C-

  The little heart next to the capital letter C made that emotional wave return through my body. This was crazy. He made my legs turn to Jell-O, ignited a fire of desire within me, and warmed my heart with how sweet he was. I wasn’t doing a very good job of not falling for him. I was falling hard. I would just have to keep telling the doubtful part of me that he was a good person, and I could trust him.

  Alexis: I need to talk to you. You working tonight?

  Charlie: Yep. But you can call if you want.

  Alexis: I would rather speak in person if that’s all right.

  Charlie: Yep. No problem. See you then.

  I really needed to tell someone how I was feeling. It was so wonderful that I wanted to share it with someone. This was still foreign territory to me. I had grown so accustomed to being alone that having people to go to for advice or share exciting news was a new concept, but surprisingly, marvelous. I wondered if this reaction was what happened to a middle school girl when she wanted to tell her best girlfriend about the boy she was crushing on. I missed out on those times, so maybe I was playing catch up on a lot of things now. Cam said I still had a lot of firsts. I guess blurting out my feelings for a man to my best girlfriend was one of those firsts, even if my best girlfriend happened to be his twin sister.

  Regardless of her relation to Cam, I was hopeful she would be supportive and encouraging. After all, her boyfriend was her twin brother’s best friend. Granted, their situation was a little different. Charlie and Louis had been friends since forever—well, minus that five-year hiatus. They’d grown up together. Even though Cam and I had known each other a long time ago, we hadn’t spent our childhood together. Oh, and our hiatus was a decade longer.

  Cam was right. Waking up from my nap in bed that afternoon wasn’t nearly as good as waking up with the smell of him next to me. I missed him. I had a good idea he would bring me coffee that night, so I decided to sen
d him a text about something I was pretty sure he was clueless about.

  Alexis: I probably should have told you this earlier, but there is something you need to know about me.

  Cam: ???

  Alexis: I don’t really like coffee.

  Cam: [shocked face emoji]

  Alexis: I prefer hot chocolate.

  Cam: Why didn’t you say anything before now? I feel terrible bringing you something you didn’t want all this time.

  I had to think for a moment about how to respond. I had told myself that I wouldn’t be afraid. I wanted to be bold and daring.

  Alexis: Maybe it was the guy bringing me the coffee that I wanted.

  Cam: You’re awful brazen in a text message. Say it to my face next time.

  Alexis: I can’t wait.

  Cam: Neither can I :-)

  Sure, I was innocent with certain things. But no one could ever accuse me of being naïve. With a smile on my face, I walked into the emergency room and headed straight for the locker room. I found Charlie grabbing her stethoscope out of her metal cabinet as I entered the small, quiet room.

  “Just so you know, it’s not cool to make your friend wait all day before dishing out the gossip.” Charlie slammed her locker door shut with a loud thump, but she wore an animated smile. “So spill!”

  “I really like your brother.” Maybe I should’ve said the words differently, but I honestly didn’t think before they came spilling out.

  Her smile widened, if that was even possible. “This is the best news I’ve heard in a long time.” She approached me quickly—too fast for me to take a step back before she practically smothered me in an embrace. I’d been dodging hugs my whole life, but it seemed like Charlie, Cam, and their family had hugged me more in the last few weeks than all the times throughout my life that I tried to avert them put together.

  I didn’t pull away from her. Maybe I was getting more comfortable with embraces from them.

  She pushed away a moment later to speak. “My best girlfriend and my brother.” And then she squeezed the heck out of me for another ridiculous embrace. I just stood there with my arms pinned to my sides while my crazy friend rested her chin on my shoulder with her arms wrapped around me. “This must be how Ross felt when he found out about Monica and Chandler.” She was still hugging me when she referenced the nineties sitcom.

  She pushed away from me again and placed her hand on her hip. I had seen a similar stance from her when she was annoyed. “But seriously, you couldn’t have told me that over the phone? Or in a text?”

  “This is going to sound stupid, but I was excited to tell you my exciting news…in person.” My confession did sound stupid. “I wanted to see your reaction.”

  “Well, as I’m sure I have already told you, he really likes you, too. And now that you two are together, it will make Cam feel less awkward around Louis and me. He was never a third wheel before, but since Louis and I have been more than friends, I guess he feels like he is sometimes. We try not to make it weird, but I guess sometimes it is.” Charlie began braiding her light brown hair, so she turned to look in the mirror hanging on the wall next to the lockers.

  We still had fifteen minutes before our shift started, and there was no one else in the locker room at the time, so I had another confession to make. “Your brother and I have slept together, but we haven’t slept together.” I watched her face twitch in the mirror, even though she had her back to me at that moment. “I’ve never done that with anyone before.”

  After my admitted remark, Charlie dropped her braid and quickly turned on her heel to face me. “You’ve never had sex before?” Then she lowered her voice, recognizing that it may have been inappropriate to blurt that out. “You’re a virgin?” The volume of her tone dropped several more decibels to barely a whisper.

  I mimicked her whispered voice. “Virgin isn’t a bad word.”

  “I know it’s not. It’s just private, and I felt bad about saying it so loudly, even if it’s just you and me in here.” Her voice rose slightly, but she still whispered.

  “Well then, you are really going to want to speak softly for a while longer. I’m thinking about your brother being my first.” I continued to whisper my plan only to tease my friend.

  She visibly shuttered. “And now I guess this is how Cameron felt when I talked to him about sex with Louis.” She smacked her forehead with an open palm, just like the emoji.

  “You didn’t!” The harshness and intensity of my voice increased in volume.

  She dropped her open palm and clasped her hands behind her neck at that point. “I needed to talk to someone. I had already gone to my sister, and I didn’t feel any better, so I had to talk to my best friend. It just so happens that my brother is my best friend, but he is also the best friend of the man I had sex with.”

  If I wasn’t completely aware of Cam, Charlie, and Louis’s story, I would have been completely confused by her last statement. The way everything was so intertwined would’ve been hard for an outsider to try to keep track of. “I’m sorry if this is weird for you. But I like having a friend I can talk to. It’s not something I ever thought I wanted or needed, but now that I have it, I kind of like it.”

  Charlie sighed deeply and returned to the mirror so she could redo her braid. “Well, okay. But no specifics, please. He is my brother.” Obviously not liking the braid she completed, she returned to her locker to fetch a hairbrush and began to brush her hair with long strokes. “So, I can’t even believe I’m going to ask you this but…have you thought of when this might happen?”

  “Maybe this weekend?” I worked the next three nights in a row, but I had Thursday, Friday, and Saturday off. I gulped down the awkwardness that was building in my throat before I spoke again. “Could you maybe go shopping with me?”

  She swung her head around, causing her hair to fan out. If she had finishing redoing her braid, it probably would have smacked her in the face after the whiplash she had just given herself. “Do you mean for, like, sexy underwear and stuff?” Her eyes gave me the impression that she was both a little shocked and a little curious.

  “Yeah, I guess.”

  And then she planted her palm against her forehead again. “Karma’s a bitch.” She sighed deeply, looking upward to the ceiling. “This must be my punishment for talking to Cameron about sex with Louis.”

  “If it’s too uncomfortable for you, it’s no big deal. I can—”

  She dropped her head and held up her hand to stop me mid-sentence.

  “I’ll go shopping with you. Louis would probably appreciate it if I bought something for myself, too.” For a second, I thought she was about to hug me again, but with the hairbrush still in her hand, she grabbed both of my shoulders and looked me square in the eyes. “I’m not used to having girlfriends, but I’m sure that if my bestie is going to give up her V-card, then I should go shopping for sexy lingerie with her. So I’ll be there for you…doing what any bestie would do.”

  A satisfied smile pulled at my face while she once again returned to attempting to braid her hair. I really liked having Charlie as a friend. I wondered what would happen if Cam and I stopped dating. I tried to push that thought out of my mind. He promised that we would always be friends. So hopefully, even if we weren’t romantically together, we would still be friends. I’d held no dreams about my future beyond completing school and establishing a career. In my younger days, I was always the type who otherwise lived for the moment. I guess I was forced to. Who could think ahead when you were just trying to survive? But for some reason, with the Callahans as friends, I could now see a future. I might even let myself dream a little.

  Charlie and I worked together Monday and Tuesday night, so I was able to see Cam both nights. He usually only showed up once a week to deliver coffee to his sister and her nursing colleagues, but he showed up twice this week with hot chocolate occupying one of the pockets of the cardboard carrier.

  I was able to sneak some amazing kisses from him both nights also. There was
an alcove behind the triage area that held random paper documentation for the rare occasion the computer charting system shut down. There were also office supplies, like pens and copier toner. The area was as small as the smallest closet you could envision, but the two of us fit perfectly in the area for a quick kissing session.

  Cam and I shared several texts on Wednesday, which included spending the night with each other on Thursday. Charlie and I went shopping Thursday afternoon. I picked out three pairs of lacy panties and a thong with matching bras, while my bestie offered me advice on my selections. She also invited me to sing karaoke with her, Cam, and Louis on Friday night. We were both off on Friday, but she was scheduled to work again Saturday night.

  When I returned home from my shopping trip with Charlie, I changed into the lavender bra and panties set I had purchased. Then I switched into a low-cut T-shirt that I was pretty sure Cam liked and a denim skirt before packing an overnight bag and heading over to his apartment.

  10

  Cameron

  I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to resist ripping Lex’s clothes off when she got to my apartment. The teasing kisses two nights this week were not enough to kill the semi-hard-on I’d been sporting the last few days. Instead of the mesh shorts I usually wore to work, I had to wear khakis or jeans to hide it. I even tried to relieve myself with my own hand, but my semi-boner just wouldn’t settle down completely.

  Luckily, the pizza delivery guy didn’t notice, or he would’ve thought I was a pervert. I only slightly opened the door and practically tossed money at him while snatching the box out of his hands. I decided to return to wearing gym shorts that evening. The strain against the tighter fitting garments had become incredibly uncomfortable that week. I hoped I could show some patience and respectfulness when she showed up. I kept telling myself not to maul her as soon as I saw her. In fact, I kept telling myself that up until the time I heard a soft knock at my apartment door.