"I knew you could laugh if you wanted." Lily wiggled free of Cade's hold and sat up. She wore no more than her chemise and a blanket, and the blanket was slipping from her shoulders.
In the firelight Cade could see the shadow between her breasts, She wasn't large, but well-rounded. He liked to think that his child added to that fullness. It gave him a feeling of belonging, something he hadn't known in a very long time.
"Indians don't laugh," Cade told her solemnly.
She didn't even give him a warning. Diving at him, Lily feathered her fingers beneath his arms and tickled until Cade was rolling with laughter as well as his attempt to hold her off without harming her.
"Cry uncle," she demanded, wiggling one hand loose from his grasp to tickle his ribs.
"Tio," he laughed, turning her over and trapping her spread-eagled against the robes.
"It's a good thing for you that Juanita has taught me some Spanish," Lily informed him with gravity, "or I should have to continue tickling you unmercifully."
Since he held her completely helpless, this was a lie of magnificent proportions, and Cade nearly doubled up with laughter at her audacity. He couldn't remember ever feeling this way, not even as a boy. He caught her in his arms and rolled over and began to lavish her with kisses.
"Stop that, Cade, before you break something," Lily admonished, struggling for a position a little more dignified than sprawling across his chest. As much as she enjoyed what this would lead to, there were other things here to consider, and she wasn't the kind to give up easily.
Cade instantly let her go and stared up at her worriedly. "Am I hurting you?"
With a lift of her eyebrows, Lily studied Cade's rather awesome chest, down to the place where his buckskins covered his hips. "I was more concerned about you. I don't wish to wear you out too soon."
Cade gave a bark of laughter and grabbed her hair, tugging her down to lie curled against his side. "If I don't nip your boldness at once, you will become impossible. You do understand I don't intend for you to be my boss lady anymore?"
"Not that I ever was," Lily said, unperturbed. "Now tell me about your mother."
"She died."
In exasperation, Lily pinched him again. "Do you want to start this all over? You can talk. I've heard you. Why do you persist in this imitation Indian sign language?"
"Habit. What's the point of talking if no one is listening?"
Lily propped her elbows on his chest and glared down at Cade's strong, angular features. In this light he looked neither Indian nor Spanish. He was just Cade, a man with a chip on his shoulder a mile wide. Impulsively, she leaned over and bit his shoulder. It was solid and hard to grip, but she managed to sink her teeth in enough to register.
He hollered and jerked her back. Glaring, he asked, "What was that for?"
"I thought maybe I could chew my way through that chip," she said sweetly. "Did you think you'd married a fool white woman who would be content to have a man in her bed and a child in her stomach? I'd better give this ring back if that's the case."
Cade grunted and returned her to his side again. "I'm not stupid. You play the part of docile wife and daughter very well, but you're more like a wild mustang that stands still until the moment someone puts a saddle on its back. I don't mean to saddle you, but I'll put a bit in your mouth if you bite me again."
Cade could feel the soft heaves of Lily's laughter, and he untensed long enough to grin. He hadn't known he was taking on an undisciplined brat, and he rather suspected she hadn't known it either. The years of childhood that had been stolen from her were emerging. He just didn't know why he had been the one to set them free.
She nibbled at his side and the sensation shot straight to his groin. With a growl, Cade returned her head to rest on his shoulder. "Unless you're ready for me to ride you again, you'd better behave. What did you want to know about my mother?"
"What would you like to tell me about her?"
Surrendering, he sifted through memories he preferred not to think about. "She was very beautiful. My father had seen her out riding and led a war party just to steal her."
"Your father doesn't strike me as the kind of man to do that. He seemed peaceful enough to me."
"My father is a Lipan Apache, a warrior. Thirty years ago they controlled much of the territory west of here. Young men were expected to show their bravery. At the time he wasn't much interested in killing or stealing baubles; he wanted a wife. Stealing one was a mark of skill and bravery."
"Then Apaches are as foolish as those idiots in town who thought Juanita would be delighted to welcome the attentions of three of them at once. Men are stupid everywhere."
Cade stroked her hair. "Sometimes, yes. But my father did not rape my mother. Even my mother agreed to that. He made her his wife and when she was ready, he took her to his bed. Do you find it so hard to believe that a lady could desire an Apache?"
"Not in the least." Lily kissed his throat. "I find it hard to believe that she could know desire when so completely out of her element. He was a stranger. His people were strangers. They didn't speak the same language. He probably lived in a tent and she was no doubt used to an elegant home and servants. She must have been terrified."
She had automatically assumed that his mother came from wealth. In a country where poverty reigned supreme, that was an odd assumption, even if a correct one. Perhaps the ring had given it away. Cade caressed the peak of her breast, enjoying the knowledge that the same jolt of sensation swept through them both at the touch.
"My father taught her not to be afraid. He knew some Spanish. Apaches have been dealing with the Spanish for years. My father is not an ordinary man. He sees the future when so many look to the past. He knew there was no stopping the white man. There were too many whites and too few Indians. That is why, when his tribe died, he turned to the people that you call Wacos. White men will not allow Indians to follow the buffalo much longer. The Wacos have the knowledge to farm the land as the white man does."
It was more information than she had ever expected to have from Cade, and Lily savored it. There was much to think about in what he had told her, but she didn't want his words to dry up while she pondered them. Storing them away for future perusal, she persisted, "If your father was so special, why did your mother leave him?"
"Because she could not learn Indian ways. I did not hear these things from my father or mother but from the old women. My mother nearly died when I was born. I was too large for her. My father was a mighty warrior, and it was expected of him to look after the women of his wife's family. That is how it is done. If a woman has no husband or father to feed her, she will die, so she goes to her sister's house. The sister is grateful for the help not only in the many chores but also in the burden of bearing the warrior's children. If the wife has no sister, the warrior will look elsewhere,"
"Your father brought home a second wife," Lily stated flatly. "It is a wonder your mother didn't kill him."
It wasn't amusing, but Cade chuckled at her tone. "I take it you will not appreciate it if I try to relieve your burdens by bringing home another woman, even when you are heavy with child."
"I am certain your consideration will so overwhelm me that I will take a shotgun to your hide. Anytime you are even tempted to look at another woman, you'd better remember that Travis is right at hand, and what's good for the gander will do for the goose. We're building a marriage out of next to nothing. What we have in bed is our only bond. I won't share it with another."
Cade wasn't laughing anymore. He caught the nape of Lily's neck and held her where he could see her face through the darkness. "I only need one woman. Don't turn me away and I will never have need to look elsewhere."
Lily felt that command in the pit of her stomach. She was tied to this man for the rest of her life. This wasn't a game that would end with the dawn. No matter what he did or how angry he made her she would have to take this man into her bed or destroy everything. It was an intimidating thought, and she began
to have some understanding of Cade's mother.
"I don't think it was all your father's fault," she whispered. The change of subject made Cade blink, and when he didn't answer, she continued, "I think your mother must have been afraid after you were born. I think she probably denied your father."
That was a very distinct possibility. Cade settled her back against his shoulder again. "Let us get this story finished so I can make love to you again. It does no good to try to guess what we will never know." At Lily's nod, he completed the tale. "I grew up thinking my mother hated my father. He would teach me one thing, and she would teach me the opposite. I did not understand their differences then. It was only after she persuaded a trader to take her back to civilization that she talked to me as if I were old enough to understand. By then, she had learned that white men weren't as honorable as my father. When she returned to San Antonio and found that her family had left for Mexico, she was without protection, and she was treated as an Indian whore. I was eight when we left my father. I was twelve when she died."
His tone had grown bitter, and Lily knew better than to question more. To have so many words out of the taciturn foreman she had known was a miracle not to be denied. Gently, she kissed him, and when he did not immediately respond, she explored his chest with her lips. When she found his nipple and tugged, Cade growled deep in his throat, and soon she was lying beneath him while his tongue taught her lessons she would never forget.
Later, much later, Lily lay beside Cade listening to him sleep. She covered the curve of her stomach with one hand while the other rested on the flat hard expanse of her husband's. None of this seemed quite real yet. Perhaps after they had had a few weeks of seeing each other over the breakfast table, arguing over money or the lack of it, listening to each other's complaints—perhaps then it would seem real. Now, she could only believe she was dreaming this man at her side and his child in her womb.
When she woke in the morning it was to a warm fire and a cold bed. Cade was already up and about. Lily pulled the blanket around her and forced herself to sit up. She could feel the imprint of Cade's body on every portion of hers, and just the thought made the various sorenesses burn. Lightheaded, she bent her head to her knees. This morning, the heavy silver band on her finger felt like a noose.
Cade came in to find her in this position, and he was immediately on his knees beside her. "Is something wrong?"
The obvious concern in his voice revived her somewhat. Lily looked up with a small smile. "Nothing that another few weeks won't cure. I'll be fine. Just give me a few minutes."
"I didn't know the child was making you ill. You should have told me sooner."
Lily pressed her forehead back against her knees, avoiding the accusation in his eyes. "Normally, it doesn't. I suppose I overexerted myself. Or it doesn't like roast rabbit. I'm just a little queasy. I've been fine."
Only partially appeased, Cade threw some coffee grounds into a pot of water boiling over the fire. "I will take you home where you can rest."
So much for their wedding night. Lily wondered if Cade regretted the things he had told her last night. She wondered if it would ever be possible to bring the laughing, talkative Cade back into the world as they knew it. She didn't think so, but if she dealt with him right, perhaps she could occasionally be the beneficiary of that hidden side of him. Or perhaps their children would learn to know him as he really was.
It would help if there were love between them, but there wasn't. Travis had pretty well taught Lily that love was an affliction of romantic young girls. She and Jim had got along well enough. She could learn to do the same with Cade. It was just that there was only one side to Jim, whereas Cade had a hundred facets to explore.
"What will you do about Travis?" Lily asked, apropos of nothing as the queasiness eased, and she lifted her head to watch Cade over the fire.
"If he's the man I think he is, he won't be there. If he comes back, he can use the cabin I've been using."
That seemed fair. Lily sighed and accepted the tin cup of coffee he handed her. "I hope I'm doing the right thing by Roy. Should I tell him the truth?"
"If he asks." Cade threw her an impassive look. "I'm not the only one with secrets. Will you tell me about Travis?"
Lily shrugged. "There's nothing to tell. I was sixteen and the household was upside down with excitement over my older sisters' impending weddings. Travis appeared out of nowhere. We talked and laughed together. We were both young and lonely. I didn't know what we were doing when I slipped out to meet him at night. My mother was dead and no one had ever explained the facts of life to me. Travis made me feel beautiful and feminine, and I very much needed to feel that way. I thought that meant we would be married. Instead, I woke up one morning to find his wagon gone and no word of him to be had. Three months later, there was still no word, and I'd learned what happened to girls who dallied with itinerant peddlers. Jim was looking for a wife and I offered myself. It's not a very original story."
"That's twice you've married because you had to. I won't say I'm sorry. I'd do it again."
"I know that, but I don't know why. If it's not the land, what is it?"
Cade gave her a curious look. "You have to ask?"
Suddenly aware that she was sitting here naked talking to a man who the day before had been only her foreman, Lily glanced around for her clothing while struggling with his question.
She reached for her chemise. "I suppose I'm the only single woman over the age of fourteen for fifty miles around, except poor Anna Whitaker, perhaps."
Cade's impassivity gave way to exasperation as he gathered up her clothes and dropped them in her lap. "There are women enough out here for men like me. You're the first lady who has ever looked at me."
Pulling on her chemise, Lily peered over the top at him in surprise. "I doubt that there's a female over the age of fourteen who doesn't look at you. My word, Cade, we'd have to be blind not to see you."
He grinned and handed her a piece of toasted bread. "It's good to know my size warrants notice, at least. But that's not what I meant, and you know it. You're a lady, but you didn't pull your skirts away in distaste when I spoke to you. You didn't talk to me as if I didn't have sense enough to eat. You listened, even when you were talking a blue norther."
Pulling on the gingham, Lily left it unbuttoned. She bit into the toast and wrinkled her forehead at this striking new knowledge. "I can't pull away skirts I don't wear, but I suppose it's something to know you married me because I know how to talk and listen. I'm sure that's as good as marrying me because I know how to cook and clean."
A low rumble rose from Cade's chest, and Lily was uncertain as to its cause, until he pushed her back down on the robes and kissed her. She thought perhaps he might be laughing at her.
"Anyone can cook and clean. No one can do what you do."
Cade didn't tell her precisely what she did that no one else could do, but Lily hoped that what followed was his way of showing what he meant.
She had to get dressed a second time when he was done making himself clear.
Chapter 21
They rode to the ranch a more rumpled version of their prior day selves. The children didn't care. Serena screamed a welcome and ran to Cade's arms while Roy ambled onto the porch and glanced uncomfortably from one to the other.
When Lily tried to hug him, he announced, "Travis is gone."
Lily smoothed his hair and smiled. "Travis is always gone. That's the way he is. He'll be back. Since Cade will be moving in with us, we'll set up a place for Travis in Cade's old cabin, and he can stay there anytime he likes. Will that be all right with you?"
"Does that mean I can have my old room back?" Since he'd broken his leg, Roy had been sleeping downstairs in the main cabin, and Travis had taken his loft over the bedroom. He looked almost appeased at the thought of having the loft back.
Cade came up behind them carrying Serena. "The loft is yours. We'll put Serena where you're sleeping now. Now that there's a little time be
fore planting, maybe we can start building an addition to your mother's cabin. There will be a new baby come summer, and I don't think your grandfather would enjoy sharing his room."
Roy looked shyly at his mother at this casual mention of a baby, but she merely took Serena and tickled her as if the news were of no moment. He nodded like a man of the world and went back inside to inform his grandfather of the changes.
Lily didn't hide her relief as she looked up at Cade. "He's taking this rather well, don't you think?"
"About as well as can be expected. He's a good boy, Lily. Quit worrying."
That was easy for him to say, but not so easy for her to do. While Cade took his horse back to the paddock, Lily followed her son inside. Her father was rocking in her chair, listening to Roy's chatter. He threw Lily a speaking look as she entered.
"So your new husband will allow me to stay?" he inquired acerbically. "Does he think I have nothing better to do than watch over a passel of brats?"
"There was never a question about that, Daddy. The choice has always been yours. I just thought you were enjoying it out here. You've worked all your life. Why shouldn't you have a chance to sit back and decide what you want to do next? You must have someone capable running the store if you've been comfortable being away this long."
Ephraim sniffed. "Your sisters thought I was too old to run the store. Elizabeth's husband hired a man to take over. If you would have married that Travis fellow like I asked, we could have gone home and taken it back."
"Travis doesn't want to leave Texas any more than I do. And it was Ollie you wanted me to marry. I'm sorry, Daddy, but nothing will make me go back there again. You're welcome to stay. As cheap as whiskey is out here, maybe you could start another store. You certainly know the business."
"Now that's a thought. I'll give it some consideration."
Texas Lily Page 17