“There is no us, Matthew. You’re nothing but a bad habit – an addiction, and one I’ve got to break,” she said forcing the words from her mouth. “You don’t want me, you just want to prove some point or other,” she told him firmly. “I never know what to believe, you tell me things – accuse me of things and then I discover it’s all some elaborate ruse,” she fired at him recalling the debacle over the tablet computer.
“I never stole any of your secrets – did I? You lied to me so that you could blackmail me into going away with you.”
“Lisa,” he nodded sheepishly. “She told you, didn’t she?”
Gina nodded. “Yes she did but I still don’t understand why you went to all that trouble. Couldn’t you have just asked me to go to Italy with you?”
“If you hadn’t taken the damn thing then – yes – I would have done. But that tablet was never intended for you to find. It was planted deliberately for Lisa,” he explained.
“So you really wanted to take her away instead,” she replied dryly.
“No, of course not - I expected her to take it to Ben. Then he was supposed to knock himself out trying to get to market before me. It would have cost him time and money and after some of the stunts he’s pulled on me over the years - it would have served him right.”
He kissed her lightly and cupped one of her breasts before taking it into his mouth and sucking hard on its aroused peak.
“You were just a delicious little sidetrack,” he admitted looking up at her with those sexy, dark eyes and, forgetting himself for a moment, almost bit down hard on the swelling flesh in his mouth.
An electric shiver of need shot down Gina’s spine. God – she hadn’t realised how much she’d missed this side of him – or how much she’d missed this. There was no getting away from it Hardcore Matthew was just the best, the best lover she’d ever had or ever would have now, she realised regretfully.
“I should go,” she decided looking at her watch. “Kyle will be worried and no doubt Grace too.”
She stood up and looked back at him – he lay relaxed, naked and so utterly beautiful on the bed – and she knew then that she loved him – really loved him and no one else could ever lay claim to her heart like he had. But somehow it just didn’t seem enough. Matthew was too volatile. Although she needed his other side – Hardcore Matthew – she didn’t know how far he would go or if he would need others as well as her. Giving herself to Matthew for keeps was too much of a gamble and with the baby on the way not one she was prepared to take.
Chapter 4
“Where have you been,” Grace hurled at her the minute her key opened the door. “I’ve been frantic - I was on the point of calling the police. We’ve been out of our minds and Kyle… have you any idea what he’s been going through – what you’ve done to him?”
“Sorry,” Gina mumbled. “I went for walk,” she lied. She was too tired – too confused to deal with this now. “Call Kyle for me please – tell him I’m okay and I’ll speak to him tomorrow,” she implored her blue eyes wet with tears.
“The state he’s in I doubt that’ll do,” Grace shrugged. “I don’t think you realise how worried we’ve both been.”
Gina brushed the tears from her cheeks. She could well imagine but how could she possibly explain this one away? She’d cheated on him and in the worst possible way – with Matthew Dark.
“Whatever is the matter?” Grace asked seeing the tears flowing freely down her face. “Just tell me the truth - what really happened to you tonight?”
“What happened,” she echoed her voice tremulous with emotion. “I’ve come to my senses, Grace – that’s what’s happened,” she sighed. “Please don’t ask, it’s far too complicated and I just want to go to bed. I have to think.”
“No Gina,” Grace told her firmly. “I must insist you tell me. I’ve been going out of my mind with worry. Kyle rings me – tells me you’ve disappeared – one minute you’re going to the ladies – the next you’re gone. What on earth were you thinking – how could you just leave him like that - what happened to you?”
Gina looked at the woman’s harassed face and rubbed a comforting hand over her bump. She had no choice – not really. Grace had stood by her – looked after her like a second mother – if anyone deserved the truth then she did.
“Matthew Dark happened,” she said simply. “I’ve been with him – and I won’t lie to you,” she paused. “We made love – so I’ve been in his bed too.”
She went quiet watching the look of horror cross Grace’s face. “So you see when it comes right down to it I’m really not worth all the worry or the bother.”
“Dark!” Grace exclaimed scornfully. “How could you, Gina. Did he kidnap you again – surely not – he wouldn’t dare.”
“No – I went to his penthouse with him and willingly. We made love and that’s when I came to my senses,” she looked at her step mum. “I don’t deserve you, Grace, or Kyle for that matter. I’m selfish and scheming and now I’ve finally realised that fact I know what I’ve got to do about it.”
“Dark’s poisoned your mind. He did it before and now he’s done it again. I’ll ring Kyle – he’ll know what to do – he’ll settle your mind.”
“No!” Gina screamed. “Not yet – I can’t cope with Kyle tonight,” she pleaded. “For now just tell him that I’m fine – I’ll speak to him tomorrow.” She tried a glimmer of a smile and shook her head. “But you should know that I’m not going to marry him now, Grace,” she confided firmly. “I can’t – I just don’t love him – well, not like I should and, yes, being with Matthew Dark tonight taught me that much as well,” she confirmed. “I care for Kyle, I’m grateful for what he’s done for me– I think of him fondly - with affection,” she watched the older woman’s puzzled face. “But it’s just not enough. There’s no excitement, no heat between us and I can’t live like that – not now,” she told Grace sadly.
“But you can’t just let him go, not after everything he’s done – after everything you’ve been to each other,” Grace floundered wondering how to persuade the girl to change her mind. “And there’s the baby. What do you intend to do about that – you’re carrying his child? Do you imagine that Kyle is just going to relinquish his chance of fatherhood because you have some fanciful idea about Matthew Dark?”
“He’ll have to – he’s got no choice,” she paused, she should she tell her? But then there would be the questions – the guilt about what she’d done. But the look on Grace’s face clearly said she had no choice. She’d have to come clean and tell her the truth.
“He has rights and he’ll enforce them too,” Grace reminded her. “So he’ll always be in your life whether you want it or not.”
“No he won’t,” Gina told her with certainty. “Once he knows the truth he won’t want to see me or the baby ever again.”
“He won’t desert his child, Gina – he’s not that sort of man,” Grace assured her.
“That’s just the point - it isn’t his child Grace,” Gina held her breathe and looking up caught Grace’s eyes and nodded. “Yes, that’s right,” she confirmed seeing the woman’s incredulous expression. “Kyle Hastings didn’t father this child. Matthew Dark did.”
Grace looked as if she’d been hit by a truck. She stumbled back and flopped down onto an armchair.
“I don’t understand, you didn’t get pregnant until after you met Kyle – I mean, how can you be so sure?”
“Oh I’m sure, Grace. I’m a month further on than I’ve been telling everyone. I didn’t know it at the time but I was pregnant when I left Portofino.”
“This is dreadful,” Grace said re-examining Gina’s belly as if she was seeing it for the first time. “Kyle will be devastated. It’ll break him.”
“Kyle Hastings is made of stronger stuff than that, Grace. He’ll get over me and he’ll be a father to his own children one day with a woman who can love him properly.” She rubbed her belly. “This one isn’t his and nothing I can say or do will make
that right. All these months I’ve just been deluding myself. You see I’m an addict – addicted to Matthew Dark and there’s nothing I can do about it. But one thing I do know – I don’t want to tie myself to anyone else.”
“Have you told him – Matthew - does he know he’s the father of your child?”
“No and I don’t want him to know. I’m still working out what I should do. Matthew is complicated – our relationship is complicated and even without Kyle on the scene things might not work out right between us.”
“Just be very sure about what you are doing, Gina. Once you’ve told Kyle the truth there is no going back. You’ll be on your own.”
Of course she knew that. If that was the way it had to be then it was better than living in a sham marriage. Gina knew now that she’d been living in some strange fantasy for all these months. Kyle Hastings wasn’t the love of her life. He might deserve to be but he wasn’t and until she’d worked out what to do about Matthew it would have to be just her and her son.
It was weird but even with the awful prospect of devastating Kyle’s world with the truth the next day Gina still managed to sleep and wake late. When she finally roused herself she could voices downstairs – Grace and Kyle.
She pulled a robe around her body and padded down to face them. As she approached Kyle turned then stood stock still staring at her. There was a nerve twitching high on his cheekbone and his face was flushed – a sure sign he was agitated or angry. Grace must have already told him?
“Is it true, Gina,” he faced her. “That’s Dark’s child in your belly, not mine?” He demanded scornfully and waited for her reaction but there wasn’t one, she just stood there staring at him expressionless.
“And you would’ve let me go ahead with this – this lie – this pretence? You were quite prepared to keep this dreadful secret from everyone – from me and from him?” He asked nodding at her bump.
“Yes,” she replied simply. Gina hated herself for hurting him like this. Kyle had been her best friend – her emotional rock when she’d really needed one. This was no sort of reward for everything he’d done for her.
“You can shout if you must but I can’t change things and to be honest, Kyle, I know now that I don’t want too.”
He nodded. “You still want him, don’t you?”
“I think so but whether he wants me or not remains to be seen. Matthew isn’t an easy man to know and although we have this thing going on between us that’s no guarantee that we’ll make each other happy.”
Looking at him now with the truth spread out before them Gina knew that she didn’t love Kyle – that she’d probably never loved him.
“Well – that’s honest at least,” he agreed his blue eyes glinting with emotion as he stared at her. “He’ll hurt you – he can’t be faithful. If you think that’s just sour grapes then ask Lisa - and his demands in the bedroom will finish you,” he waited for a response but she just shrugged. “But you know that already and I’m not going to plead. Given what you did last night, Gina, Dark is welcome to you. You two deserve each other – you are just different sides of the same coin.” He paused and watched her brush a tear from her pale cheek. “I’ll make some excuse – some fabrication – so don’t worry I won’t tell anyone your dirty little secret. I’m not that wicked.”
Despite the hurt, the betrayal, he still loved her and he knew that if she’d run to him now and she asked him to take her back – then he would have done so, child and all. But she wouldn’t – she couldn’t, so that was that. His brief but wonderful relationship with Gina Deverell was well and truly over.
With that Kyle Hastings turned on his heel and left. Gina heard the front door slam shut and then ran to Grace and burst into tears.
Chapter 5
The pain woke her in the middle of the night. The gripping, brain numbing pain that hauled her from the comfort of sleep and woke her whimpering in acute discomfort. She rubbed an anxious hand over her large bump and checked the time. Three a.m. This must be it, she thought biting her lip.
Grace didn’t approve of what Gina had done but it made no difference to how she felt about her step daughter and now that she needed her she’d be right by her side.
Her bag had been packed for days now and Grace grabbed that and her car keys as Gina shrugged herself painfully into a large, fluffy dressing gown.
“God there’re getting closer now, “she said gripping a chair back. She was breathing in and out as shallow as she could as the contraction spread its painful fingers over her abdomen making her wince and groan. “I’m scared, Grace,” she admitted clenching her teeth as she leaned forwards with her hands supporting her belly.
“Come on then– let’s get you looked at,” Grace smiled reassuringly and taking her arm led her carefully downstairs.
Seven hours later after the most exhausting and painful experience of her entire life Gina gave birth to an eight pound baby boy. She’d know it was a boy since her twenty week scan - not that it mattered she was just relieved to have a healthy baby. The moment she looked at him she knew he had been well worth all the effort. She was utterly thrilled with him and loved him instantly, he was quite perfect a beautiful infant. As she ran her first loving, maternal gaze over his tiny body and saw his dark hair and eyes, Gina realised that there was no way anyone would have believed the fair haired Kyle Hastings was his father. One look at the tiny bundle in the crib confirmed to Grace too that Gina had indeed told her the truth. There could be no doubt about it - Matthew Dark was definitely this infant’s biological father.
Gina called her son James – James Deverell after her own father. Shortly after she’d given birth he rang her – from Peru. He’d practically gone all round the globe since leaving his business but now finally convinced that he’d got something out of his system he was on his way back and eager to meet his new grandson.
“He could have his own father’s name,” Grace pointed out. “All you have to do is tell Matthew and take him with you when you register the birth.”
“No,” Gina was emphatic. “He hasn’t contacted me since that night so I know for sure now that he’s not interested in me,” she replied coldly.
The last thing Gina needed now was Matthew Dark in her life. She seemed to live in a constant state of either exhaustion or panic and hadn’t the time or the energy to think about him. But the fact that he’d kept well out of the way spoke volumes. He would know that she’d split with Kyle – Lisa would have seen to that. Given the timing of that split he must also realise that it had a lot to do with him and what happened between them. So his absence was a sure sign that his need for her was simply sporadic – nothing more than an itch that he needed to scratch every now and again.
The following few weeks passed in a flurry of nappies, milk and sleepless nights. And still there was nothing from Matthew and Gina began to think she’d never hear from him again. After all hadn’t their meeting at the party been pure coincidence? And even if he did want to see her she didn’t have the time or the energy for a social life. Young James was all consuming – and he had swiftly taken over her life in a way no one else ever had or probably ever would in the future. But what of her feelings – in her weaker, dead tired moments she couldn’t hold the flood of memories back. He was there – tall, dark and deliciously handsome and wanted to do nothing else but pleasure her beyond her wildest dreams.
When James was three months old Gina’s dad finally came home. Gone was the worry ridden man who’d left in such a hurry – the man who’d gone off globe trotting into the night and disappeared for months. Back in his place had returned a tanned, relaxed man who seemed very at ease with what had happened to his old business and who was more than happy to help out with the new addition to the family.
“Grace told me about you and Dark,” he announced one day out of the blue while he was attempting to change baby James.
“There is no me and Dark,” Gina reminded him pointedly. “As you can see I’ve got my hands full with this l
ittle bundle. Matthew Dark was just a blip and damned annoying one at that,” she added with a frown. Why bring Dark up out of the blue like this? Why couldn’t they just leave things alone?
“I didn’t see much of him during the negotiations but I thought him an okay sort of guy,” her dad told her. “And I have to say, Gina – some blip as you call it. You went after him, all guns blazing – so Grace told me. She also said you got yourself into a lot of trouble – and that the outcome was this little monster,” he added tickling James in an attempt to get a smile. “But the truth is Gina, you were wrong about him. Dark was a great help to me. He paid me a good price for the firm and let’s face it – given the state things were in it would have been far more sensible for him to refuse.”
“He did try to explain all that back at the beginning, Dad, but he wasn’t always straight with the facts and I just didn’t believe him. I was on a one woman mission to get even and I fell into a trap he’d set for someone else.” She hesitated there was no way she could tell either her dad or Grace anything about her odd relationship with Dark but she knew they were both intensely curious about why she hadn’t told him about James. “It was obvious to me that we weren’t going anywhere – so that’s why I had to call an end to it.”
“That’s a great shame because I quite like him and he’s coming back today. I got an email from him last week. He’s been working in his head office in New York for a while.”
“I don’t understand - why would Matthew Dark email you, Dad? I thought all your business dealings with him were completed months ago.”
“They were – but now he’s offered me a job, Gina,” he admitted watching his daughter’s face fall. “More or less my old job – but on a part-time basis - taking care of the London office.”
“So much for retirement then,” she put to him sarcastically. What was Matthew playing at and what was her dad playing at for that matter?
“He offered me a good deal – in fact you can discuss it with us tomorrow evening – I’ve invited him to dinner,” he smiled.
Dark Demands 4 - Bound to Him (Dark Demands Series) Page 3