by Gabriela Paz
“I can imagine. You must be living the good life.”
It was ironic to hear him say that. ‘The good life.’ Back when Leo was in college, or maybe even when he started his job, he would have defined his current situation as such. But now that he knew what it was like, he was questioning everything. He didn’t regret all the beautiful places he had visited and some of the kind people he had met, but there was no feeling like being home near the people he loved. “It’s alright. I’m actually glad to be home. How’s school?”
“It’s great, man. Just been studying and going out once in a while. I was going out like crazy before, but I’ve calmed down a bit.”
Thank God. “I guess you are getting over that phase,” Leo asked in a hopeful tone.
“Yeah, I guess so. Where have you been lately? Any traveling recommendations?”
Leo chuckled. “You’re thinking about traveling next summer, aren’t you? It’s definitely life-changing. It’s hard to pick a place. You gotta see everything with your own eyes.”
“That is my plan. I want to see the world before I submit myself to slavery with our father,” Stefano snickered.
“Ha! You better do it before it’s too late.”
They both stayed silent for a few seconds. Leo felt as if he had almost forgotten how to speak to his brother. Every day he had been away, he could feel their relationship drift apart, and it frustrated him that he didn’t know much about him these days.
“So…” Stefano blurted. “I’ve seen Eva around quite a bit in the last couple of months.”
You have? Leo hesitated twice before asking, but he had to. “Really? How’s she doing?” He had actually started to talk with a new girl that he met a few weeks back at the airport. It was funny; out of all of the places in the world he could meet someone, he had to meet her in the Pensacola Airport. He kind of liked her though, she was getting back from a short break, and he had found her more interesting than the other girls he was used to meeting.
“She’s doing alright, I think. She was dating some guy, but I think she dumped him, from what I heard.”
Well done, Eva. Leo didn’t mean to feel relief as he heard his brother tell him the news, but he did. “Is she alright? Is she having fun?”
“Yes, she seems fine. I don’t really know any of the details. We are not exactly friends.”
“Why not?”
“Well, you had your thing with her, and it’s a bit awkward. Plus, I sort of got with her best friend.”
What? “No, you didn’t! How did that happen?” Leo asked, surprised.
Stefano wasn’t able to contain his laughter. “At a party, we were pretty drunk, and it sort of happened.”
“Wow, are you still seeing her?”
“Nah, we hooked up a few more times, but I have not seen her much lately. It will probably end up happening again soon, though,” Stefano chortled. “Have you been seeing anyone?”
“Kind of. I met a girl a few days ago. I got her number, and I think I will meet with her later this week.”
“Oh, look at you. I’m surprised you are not married with kids already.”
Smartypants. I’m really not that old. “Not even close. I haven’t had time for a relationship, and I also haven’t met anyone that interesting. This girl could be something. We will see.”
“You gotta let me know how it goes.”
“Sure will. So, is everything else okay over there?”
“Yup. Not much else to tell. Thanks for calling.”
“Sure. I’m glad we talked, bro. I will call you again soon, I promise.”
“Me too. Alright. Later bro.”
As soon as the conversation was over, all Leo could think about was Eva. Somehow being back home made all the memories come flooding back. She was still so close, twenty minutes away, living her life apart from him, and it still haunted him. He sometimes questioned his decision to stay away.
Life had been unfair in letting them meet at the worst possible time, and he had avoided a traumatic ending. He didn’t want to waste his chance when it wasn’t right. Her graduation wasn’t that far away, and who knew what the future held?
Part
Two
CHAPTER 21
Two Years Later
“Can you pass the salt, sweetie?”
“Here it goes. Should I start cutting the tomatoes?” Eva asked her mother as she helped her prepare dinner.
“That’d be great. I will get started on the onions. I’m so happy you are home.”
“Me too. I’m sorry I didn’t visit more. You know college was harder than I thought it would be.”
“I know, honey, but you are all done now, and you have a degree, many doors will open. I promise you.”
“Yeah, we will see about that… I stopped by the gallery yesterday and talked to Ms. Dubois. She offered me my old job back as her assistant. She said nobody was as diligent as I ever was.” Eva sighed. She had worked at the gallery every summer since she started college, and though it wasn’t her first choice to go back, it was better than nothing.
“You are not thinking of working there again, are you?”
“Why not? It wasn’t all that bad. Plus, it would give me more time to figure out my next move.” Eva said. Truth be told, she had no idea what her next move was going to be in any area of her life.
Her mother’s jaw dropped. “But that woman had you working an insane amount of hours, don’t you remember? You are in a different position now with a degree. Don’t you want to apply for jobs in your field?”
I would if I was sure I actually loved the field. The last two years had been rough for her to finish. Graphic design turned out to be different than she expected. “Well, I would negotiate different hours and a higher rate. I don’t think I’m ready to start applying yet.”
“Oh honey, I don’t want you to end up working for that crazy woman your whole life,” her mother shrugged.
“Mom, don’t worry. I won’t. Let’s finish cooking dinner, please. I don’t feel like talking about work. Is Phil coming to dinner, by the way?”
“I think so. He was finishing work around 7pm, and he said he would stop by.”
Eva stopped cutting for a second to give her mother a warm smile. “I’m glad you found somebody you like. You seem… happier.”
“Aw, honey, thank you. It was very unexpected for me to meet somebody at this point, but he is a good man.”
“He seems decent. How come he never married?”
“Well, he had a son with a woman he dated for many years. But they never married for some reason. She lives in Naples with his son, and Phil visits him as much as he can.”
Unable to look back at her mother this time, she said, “I only hope he’s honest and doesn’t hurt you.” I will strangle him if he hurts you.
“You don’t need to worry about me, honey. You worry about your love life, and I’ll worry about mine. I think we can both determine who’s good for us by now. And Phil is a sweetheart. You met him the other day, isn’t he great?”
“He seems nice, sure. Like I said, Mom, I’m happy for you, and I really hope he sticks around.”
“Speaking of sticking around, I ran into Daniel yesterday as I pulled in. He was very sweet to me and polite. Are you guys still talking?”
Oh, let’s not go there. Out of all of the conversations to be had, this one was the only one Eva did not want to talk about at all. “Yeah, we are fine,” she answered.
“Okay, I was only wondering because he seemed to be looking for you. I could be wrong, of course.”
“Yes, you are definitely wrong,” Eva answered as she finished cutting the tomatoes, frustrated. “All done, is there anything else you need me to cut?”
“No, sweetie, don’t worry about it. I will finish up.”
“Okay, then. I’m going to take a showe
r.”
Eva wished she could tell her mother so much more. She had lived so many good and bad experiences in college that had changed her, and she had made countless mistakes she deeply regretted. Her mother wouldn’t understand.
Eva was no longer the innocent little girl she remembered. She had taken it to heart to open up and to live her life just like her friends had advised her, and now she couldn’t take any of it back. She had unintentionally hurt people and intentionally used people in the process of finding her own path—which was never her plan.
Cece and Maddie didn’t carry guilt or remorse. Maybe it was the way they were raised, or maybe they were wired differently than she was. Eva, on the other hand, was struggling to move past the last two years. Something in her heart had switched off, and as much as she had tried to use her numbness to protect her heart, she had only deepened her scars. She didn’t want to talk about it with anybody; not her friends, not her mother, nobody.
As the water ran over her body while she showered, Eva closed her eyes and tried to remember a time where she was hopeful. She remembered how happy she had been before leaving for college, how thrilled she had felt about her date with Leo. Everything seemed to be falling into place back then. What happened? How did everything get so screwed up?
The table was set, and it was time for dinner. Her mother had set up her fancy candles. What did she bring them out? It’s not like I need a trip back to memory lane today of all days. And it is not like we will be the happy family we once were. If that’s what she’s trying to insinuate. She only brought out the candlesticks on special occasions, and the last occasion she remembered her setting them was at thanksgiving dinner many, many years ago.
Eva had grown into a stunning sweet-faced five-year-old girl. She had her father’s big round green eyes as well as his brunette wavy hair and her mother’s delicate features. She was well behaved but very opinionated for her age. Her father had gotten a little bit angry with her for being particularly precocious that night. She could remember it as if it was yesterday.
The dinner table couldn’t have looked better with the sterling candlesticks and new white china gleaming with perfection among the vast array of food. The table was overflowing with three different types of meat, corn, salad, and mashed potatoes spread out across the table—all of Eva’s favorites.
The Coleman’s were not an overly religious family, but on Thanksgiving Day, it was tradition to give thanks. As they sat around the table, ready to give thanks, Eva grabbed a piece of bread from the table and was about to put it in her mouth when her father grabbed her hand just in time and said, “Don’t even think about it, miss! You must be patient and wait until we give thanks.”
“Why must we give thanks? I’m hungry,” young Eva said petulantly.
“It's tradition on Thanksgiving, honey. By being thankful, we focus on the good things in our lives. Now close your eyes so we can proceed.”
She nodded and waited impatiently as her mother said a few words of prayer. “Most of all, on this day, I want to give thanks for all the wonderful things happening in our lives,” her mother began. Eva looked over at her dad, but his eyes were closed, so she thought about putting the bread back in her mouth. But she didn’t want to incur her father’s wrath. He was sometimes scary when he was angry. So she closed her eyes once more, waiting for her mother to finish. “Our sweet little girl turning five years old and starting kindergarten,” her mother continued, “Your promotion, honey, I’m so proud of you. And that I can finally go back to work part-time,” she concluded. “Shall we eat now?”
Eva didn’t need any further encouragement and shoved the bread in her mouth. Unfortunately, this picture-perfect scene was only a distant memory in her mind now. Their parents began fighting shortly after, and the fancy candlesticks had been tucked away in the last cabinet of their home, until today. Eva only wished it meant her mother’s light and joy had finally reentered her heart. If that was the case, she could put up with seeing the stupid candles set up every day if needed.
The roasted chicken with vegetables smelled delicious. Cooking wasn’t her mother’s forte, but whenever she had the time, she was capable of making some enjoyable dishes. Eva sat by her usual chair as she waited for her mother to finally sit down. “So, is he coming?” She asked impatiently.
“Yes. He should be here soon.”
“Do we wait for him to start?” I’m starving. Eva said with the fork already in her hand.
“If that’s okay with you? Honey, I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to bring Daniel up. I know it’s a sore subject. You just never told me he went to your school, and I was surprised to see him at your graduation. Yesterday, when I saw him walking by the house, I guess I wondered if perhaps you two had cleared things up.”
She felt bad about keeping her mother in the dark, but at the same time, she wasn’t ready to have this conversation. I didn’t tell you because it’s complicated, I guess.”
“Alright. We don’t have to talk about it, honey. I understand. How’s Cece?” She asked, finally sitting down at the table.
“She’s doing good. She got an internship at a magazine company. So she’s happy. You know, she was actually dating a guy back in school. It kind of got serious, the most serious I’ve ever seen her get with anyone, but I’m not sure if she’s still seeing him.”
Her mother brought her hands together in amusement. “Oh, that’s wonderful. I hope she finds love. She’s such a sweetheart.”
“Yeah, me too. She deserves it. We actually haven’t talked much lately. I’m sure she’s really busy.”
“How about Maddie? Do you still keep in touch?”
“A little bit. I can’t believe she went back to Kentucky. She should have stayed here. I miss her.”
“Well, from what you told me, it seemed like she never really fit in. So I’m sure she’s happy to be with her family.”
Suddenly the doorbell rang, and her mother got up rapidly from her chair to greet Phil.
As Eva got herself ready to be on her best behavior, she unexpectedly heard her mother say, “Oh Daniel, hi! How are you, honey?”
Eva ran towards the door rapidly, not wanting her mother to let him in, and brushed past her. “It’s okay, Mom, give me a second.” Eva waited for her mother to go back inside and whispered, “What the hell are you doing here?”
“I’m sorry, I wanted to see you, and you weren’t answering my texts,” Daniel said as he stood in the same exact spot where Eva had dumped him years ago.
“I’ve been busy, Daniel, but I was going to answer. You cannot just show up unannounced. Please go. I will text you later.”
“Okay, you promise?”
“Yes, bye Daniel,” Eva said, closing the door behind her. “Sorry about that, Mom. He’s very persistent.”
“Everything okay?” her mother asked. But before Eva could answer, the doorbell rang again, and this time she truly prayed it was Phil.
And it was. I never thought I would be so glad to see this man’s face in my life.
As Eva got ready to head to the gallery the following morning, her phone rang. “Hello?” She answered right away.
“Where the hell have you been, woman?” Cece shouted from the other side of the line.
“I could say the same,” she said with a bit of irony in her voice.
“But you know where I have been! I’ve been busting my butt at my new job. How about you?”
“I haven’t been up to much, honestly. Heading to the gallery right now to get my old job back.” Don’t judge.
With a surprised tone, Cece uttered, “No way, seriously? I thought you hated it.”
“I did not. I was only working too many hours, that’s all,” Eva clarified.
“Yeah, but wasn’t the boss lady a pain in the butt?”
“She is, but I can handle her.” I think… probably not.
“Thanks. I’ve missed you,” she finally admitted. The truth was, she had been avoiding her for fear of being caught. Cece was the only one who truly knew when something was off with her, and she did not feel like explaining. “How’s Alejandro? Are you two still dating?”
Cece’s giggle said it all. Eva had never seen her so giddy about anyone before. “Yes, and going strong, baby. I can’t believe I’ve actually been dating someone for over six months.”
“Yeah, it’s kind of a miracle. Who would have thought? You pushed me so hard to put myself out there in college, and now you are the serious one? It really is crazy.”
“Ha! I know. I didn’t look for it, you know? It sort of happened. I wanna be with him all the time. He’s the most enchanting human being I’ve ever met, and well, he happens to be amazing at other things too.”
Ew, gross, Cece. I did not need to know that. “Oh, shut up!” She laughed. “I’m happy for you. You know that, right? I’m sorry I’ve been kind of distant. I’ve been spending time with my mom, and well, it’s been a bit different now that you have a boyfriend.”
“I get it. Remember how you completely dumped me when you were going out with Daniel?”
“Yes, how could I forget?” she said in an embarrassing tone. I’m an idiot.
“Don’t worry, you will find your man. You just gotta keep getting yourself out there.”
With a defeated tone, Eva muttered. “You know I actually don’t want to get myself out there anymore.”
“Don’t tell me you’re still feeling guilty about kissing a few frogs? Eva!” Cece shouted.
“Easy for you to say. I never did anything like that, and it’s not who I am.”
“It was just fun. Didn’t you enjoy it?”
Not even close. Though it had happened barely a few times, Eva hated remembering her meaningless kissing encounters with random strangers at parties.