by Quinn Loftis
“Will I need to be present?” Her voice was hesitant. I could tell she was anxious about the clan’s reaction.
“Not if you don’t want to be.” I wrapped an arm around her and pulled her closer into me.
“But?” she asked.
“But having you with me when I tell them about Hilda, her death, and the prophecy, would give us the opportunity for the clan to see your healing ability and to see us together. We’ve never had anyone that wasn’t a Norsewoman marry into our clan.”
“They will not want me as the wife of their jarl.” It was not a question.
I considered my words carefully before responding. “They may resist you, but it will not be personal. Once they get to know you, they’ll love and respect you just as I do. But they must first overcome their prejudice against outsiders. It is a belief that has been taught in our clan for generations.”
Allete nodded. “It’s sad that we teach our people to be distrustful of another group of people simply because they do not come from the same place or background as ourselves. My own people are guilty of it as well.”
“Then perhaps our union can be a catalyst for change. We can teach our clan and our children that every man or woman should be judged on their character, their words, and their deeds, not simply where they come from.”
“Our children?” she said, her voice full of question.
I glanced down at her face and grinned when I saw her pink cheeks. I couldn’t help but tease her. I’d do anything to keep her from her grief. “Ach, woman, don’t tell me you haven’t been dreaming of getting me into your bed to corrupt me.”
She buried her face in my chest as she laughed. “What gave me away?” she said, her voice muffled against my clothes.
“You undress me with your eyes every time you gaze upon me. I feel positively violated.”
Allete pushed at my chest as she pulled back, her smile a little wider than it had been. “I’m sure you do,” she said dryly.
“It’s okay. I don’t mind if it puts a smile on your face,” I teased, enjoying how easy it was between us. It had been this way since we met, this natural, comfortable banter. I had missed it just as much as I’d missed her physical form. The beginnings of the day could be heard outside the tent, and I knew I wouldn’t have much longer before I needed to go and deal with the day.
“I know you’ve got duties, Torben,” she said softly. “I’ll be fine. I’m a big girl.”
“I’ll send food for you, and Rainah to help you take care of any needs,” I told her as I pressed a kiss to her forehead before standing.
“Who’s Rainah?”
“She’s one of the clan women who lost her husband and child. She’s not a warrior, and she needs something to distract her while she mourns her loss.”
Allete’s eyes softened. “I can’t imagine how hard it must be for her.”
“I think you can,” I said gently.
She nodded. “Well, send her my way. She can point me in the direction of where to get bathing water and privacy.”
I left the tent in search of Rainah, hoping she and Allete would be able to bond. I wasn’t a fool. Allete was going to need more than me as a friend, and the sooner she got her legs underneath her, the more secure she would feel.
A quarter of an hour later, I’d gathered my closest six men and Thomas. As we walked to the river for a private meeting, I saw Freya already had the shieldmaidens working in the training yard, and she’d recruited half a dozen of the women who’d lost husbands to join her forces.
“We need at least half of the remaining men to learn to fight,” Brant said, sitting on the same tree trunk we’d sat on the night before.
“I agree,” I said.
“That means we are going to have to leave some of us here,” he added, narrowing his eyes on her.
The others heads volleyed back and forth between Brant and me.
“What’s he talking about?” Amund finally asked.
I let out a sigh and brought my men up to speed on everything that Allete had told us.
“But Dayna’s alive?” Siv asked as he turned to look at Brant.
“Yes.”
“We don’t know that for sure,” I said at the same time.
“Which is it?” Rush asked.
“She’s alive,” Brant rumbled.
Thomas was pacing, and I couldn’t get a read on his thoughts. His face was blank, emotionless, so unlike the man I’d grown to know over the past month.
“Regardless,” I said, “before we can go after the witch, there are other things that need to happen. Tonight, I’m planning to propose to Allete. Tomorrow we will address the clan.”
“Does my cousin know this?” Thomas asked, the smirk I was used to twisting his lips.
“Sort of.”
All the men laughed.
“So that means no,” Delvin said.
I waved them all off. “I’ll worry about whether Allete is going to marry me, you lot just do what I ask.”
With that taken care of, I went in search of Freya to check her progress with the shieldmaidens. She waved as I walked up.
“How do they look?” I asked her.
She leaned on her sword hilt as the tip pressed into the earth. “They’re a shoddy bunch, but I’ll have them in fighting shape in no time.”
“Run them through some practices,” I said.
She shouted out several commands, and the thirteen women snapped into attention and then began to work through a specific set of sword maneuvers. They moved relatively well together, staying mostly in sync, showing only a few hitches in their coordinated attacks. I pointed out a couple of spots where weaknesses in their movements would leave a warrior open to injury. Freya took the critique in stride, and I was impressed with her ability to take my correction without getting offended.
“You’ve done well, Freya,” I said after an hour of working with the shieldmaidens.
“Thank you, Jarl. I did learn from the best,” she said with a smirk.
I bowed slightly. “So, I have only myself to blame for any failing I find?”
“Exactly,” she agreed.
As we were talking, some of the men wandered over, and before I knew it, a mock battle had begun. Freya and I shouted orders, instructing as the battle continued. I had to admit, we worked well together. My training with her and the other shieldmaidens had been limited in the past because, though it was uncommon among most Northmen, Magnus viewed women as less important beings. I was beginning to realize we’d been ignoring a powerful asset to our clan.
The sun was starting to set by the time I made it to the river to clean off the dust and dirt I’d accumulated during the training session. I was anxious to see Allete. I’d not taken a break to check on her all day. I probably could have at some point, but I felt she needed some time to process the past few days.
I was waist-deep in the cold water when I heard a splash behind me. Glancing over my shoulder, I saw Freya entering the river about ten feet away. Though she was naked, I took no note of her and went back to my own bathing. Warriors of my clan, both male and female, bathed regularly in the river together, so her presence was in no way uncomfortable or awkward for me. The water was usually so frigid that no one stayed in very long.
“It was good for the men and women to work together today,” she said from behind me.
“Aye,” I said. “Many of them are quicker than my warriors. It is good for the men to practice against smaller, more agile foes, and good for the women to practice against larger and stronger enemies.”
“Forgive me for being forward, Jarl, but who is the English princess to you?” Freya asked.
My body tensed at her question. I didn’t answer right away. I didn’t want to become defensive. “She is important. I shall discuss her presence soon enough with the entire clan.”
“I understand,” Freya said. She hesitated a moment, then continued. “As captain of Clan Hakon’s shieldmaidens, do I have your respect, Jarl?”
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“You do,” I confirmed, confusion straining my brow. It was a strange question.
“And do I have the respect of the other clansmen?”
“You do,” I said, unsure of where she was going with this line of questioning.
“I have long known you are an able leader, Torben, one who puts the needs of his clan first, as I have always tried to do. I respect you both as my new jarl and as my friend. Though we have long been friends, you and I have never entertained the idea of a match with one another, as far as I know. But because of your leadership and friendship, I want you to know that I have much affection for you. Magnus has proven that an unmarried jarl is no good for himself or the clan. A man needs a woman to be his other half. She must balance out his weaknesses with her strengths, and her weaknesses must be balanced by his strengths. I am willing to be your mate if you feel such a match would be in the best interest of the clan. I believe they would accept me as a suitable mate for their new jarl. I could be both a captain in your army and your balancing half.”
I heard a twig snap, and my head snapped around. “Shite,” I bit out through clenched teeth.
“Brant told me I could find you down here. He didn’t mention that you wouldn’t be alone. I’ll just… um…” Allete started to stumble over her words as her beautiful face turned several shades of red. “I’m just going to…” She pointed over her shoulder, toward the village. “I’m going to go.”
She turned to leave but then paused, turned back to me, with no emotion in her eyes. “And Torben,” she said, “take your time. What I needed to talk to you about can wait.” She turned and hurried away before I could respond.
“My mother used to tell my sisters and I that a prudent woman did not jump to conclusions. Instead, she investigated until she was apprised of all the pertinent information and then formulated a well-reasoned response. I’m trying desperately to cling to her wisdom. The adolescent girl in me wants to cry and yell. The woman in me says to allow him to explain himself. The woman is also aware that an unsatisfactory answer will result in a reversion back to the adolescent girl, at which time I will proceed to drown him in the damn river where I found him.”
~ Diary of Allete Auvray
I’m not going to cry. I’m not going to cry. Dammit, I’m not going to cry.
I repeated the words over and over to myself as I hurried back toward the village and away from whatever it was that I’d just witnessed. I was trying very hard not to jump to conclusions. After all, they weren’t touching each other, they weren’t even facing one another. But neither of those things changed the fact that Torben and another woman were naked together in the river. Gah, I mentally huffed, it sounded so bad when I thought of it that way. He was clearly shocked when he saw me, but he hadn’t looked guilty. So, perhaps there was a good chance he had not touched the naked woman standing less than a stone’s throw from him.
After everything we’d been through, I wasn’t sure what I would do if Torben admitted to being with another woman. How could I possibly live through losing another person I loved? Maybe it would be better if I just left before he could break my heart more than it was already. But leaving would be the coward’s way out. Torben at least deserved to give an explanation, and I deserved to hear one.
I hated the way my bottom lip trembled as I played the scene over and over in my mind. The woman had basically offered herself up on a silver platter. Okay, not really a silver platter. She hadn’t been trying to seduce Torben; she’d been offering him a way to make Clan Hakon stronger. It hurt all the more that the woman’s words rang true.
“Allete.”
The sound of Thomas’ voice caused me to increase my pace. I didn’t want to face anyone. I was worried that the moment I looked into someone’s eyes, anyone’s eyes, I would yell out something ridiculous like, ‘She got to see him naked first!’ And I was sure that would make a whole lot of sense to Thomas and he wouldn’t think I’d lost my mind at all.
“Allete!” His voice was louder, the inflection stronger. It was an obvious order for me to stop and face him, without actually giving me an order.
I’d nearly made it to Torben’s tent when a large hand landed on my shoulder. “Would you stop running from me, please?” Thomas said, sounding very put out.
I bit the inside of my cheek as I mentally forced my emotions into a box and nailed the lid shut. I turned and looked up at my cousin, attempting to smile. “Sorry, were you calling for me?” That was pathetic, Allete, I chastised myself. Playing the village idiot won’t work on Thomas.
“You know very well that I was calling your name,” he said, staring down at me through narrowed eyes—eyes that often saw too much.
“What did you need?” I asked quickly, dropping my eyes from him.
“Brant and I are to escort you to the Oracle’s home,” he said.
My eyes widened. “Why?”
He shrugged. “I’m just following orders.”
I rolled my eyes at him. “Since when do you follow anyone’s orders but your own?”
“You found her,” Brant’s voice carried from behind Thomas.
My cousin stepped to the side, revealing the mountain that was Brant. “He did,” I agreed. “Why, exactly, are you two taking me to Hilda’s home?”
“Just following orders,” Brant said, sounding like Thomas’ parrot.
I sighed and resigned myself to the situation. I wanted to hide out in Torben’s tent, but that clearly wasn’t going to happen. “Lead the way,” I said, motioning them forward. I knew the direction of the hut, but Thomas and Brant both seemed hell-bent on escorting me, so I let them. Following orders my rear, I thought.
As the hut came into view, I saw flickering light reflecting out of the small windows. “Is someone inside?” I asked, praying to the gods it wasn’t Torben.
“No,” Brant answered.
Thomas pulled the door open and motioned for me to enter. My feet froze as soon as I stepped into the small space. The hut had been transformed from the mess I’d seen earlier to a warm, inviting home. Everything had been set to rights. Two chairs sat at a small table, which contained a loaf of bread and slices of cheese. Two cups were also set there. A fire crackled in the hearth, and two lanterns hung on opposite sides of the hut, casting a soft glow. On the far-right side of the room, a pallet of furs had been made into a bed, much like the one in Torben’s tent. The shelves that had been pulled off the wall were now rehung, and the few glass jars that hadn’t broken when the place had been ransacked were sitting on the shelves. I took a deep breath and noticed that someone had also burned incense very recently, the spicy scent serving to make the small home even more inviting.
“What happened?” I asked as I stepped farther into the hut.
“We were told to clean the place up,” Brant said, “so we did, and then some of the women added other touches that they thought you’d like.”
I turned to him. “Why would it matter what I like? This is Hilda’s home.”
Brant’s face darkened briefly, but then a small smile replaced the frown. “She would want you to have it.”
I didn’t know what to say, so I just stood there looking like a mute, befuddled fool. To be fair, I was still in shock from seeing a certain male in a precarious situation. Now, I was standing in a warm and inviting hut that was, apparently, mine. My brow drew down in a deep V as I thought of something. “Does the clan approve of giving me, an outsider, their Oracle’s hut?” I was almost certain the answer would be no.
Brant shrugged. “Doesn’t matter if they approve. The jarl has commanded it, and they trust Torben. He’s never given them—us—a reason not to. If he says to give the pretty English princess the abandoned hut, then that’s what we do.”
My mouth opened and closed several times. What could I say to that? Torben was essentially a king. His word was law.
“We’ll be on our way then, cousin,” Thomas said as he wrapped his arms around me in a comforting embrace. “Are you all right?”
he whispered in my ear.
I nodded but didn’t dare open my mouth. Tears were building in my eyes, and I wasn’t ready to shed them.
I felt very alone once they’d gone. The muffled laughter and cheerful singing of the clanspeople reached my ears from the village below, but still I felt as though I were in the middle of nowhere, without a single soul for hundreds of miles. I walked to the hearth and stared down into the fire. The warmth felt good on my face, and I loved watching the yellow, orange, and red flames dance. It seemed cruel that something so beautiful could also be so destructive and painful. “Sounds a lot like love,” I muttered to myself.
“What sounds a lot like love?”
I jumped at the sound of Torben’s voice and then counted to ten before I turned around. The damn man had the nerve to look tempting with his jerkin clinging to his damp skin and his hair tousled in a way that would make my own hair look a mess but somehow made him sexy. I felt the blood rush to my face at my thoughts and turned quickly back to the fire.
“Don’t mind me,” I finally answered. “I was just musing.”
Neither of us spoke for what seemed like a ridiculous amount of time, so I finally broke the silence. “Are you hungry?” I asked him as I turned and pointed to the table where the bread and cheese sat.
“Aye, will you join me?”
I walked quickly past him and started to take the seat on the far side of the table, but Torben gently wrapped his hands around my upper arms and guided me to the opposite side. “I prefer my back not be to the door,” he murmured close to my ear. His breath against my neck felt hotter than the hearth flames.
I sat down, tore a piece of bread from the loaf as there wasn’t a knife available, and took a couple of slices of cheese. Should I have served Torben? Probably. But I needed to get something in my mouth so that I could take a moment to gather my thoughts. A lady didn’t speak with food in her mouth, or so I was taught, though I rarely abided by the rule. But now seemed as good a time as any to turn over a new leaf.