by J. S. Scott
“Not all men suck, Brynn,” she nudged me.
In my experience, they did. But I answered, “I know, Mom.”
I hadn’t let a man get close to me for well over a decade, and I didn’t see it happening anytime soon. Honestly, I didn’t think I’d ever see it.
I dated casually.
I had sex if I wanted it.
And then I walked away.
It was safer that way.
We chatted for a while about friends and family in Michigan, the weather, the boutique, and a myriad of other things before we got ready to hang up.
“Don’t let your past decide your future,” my mother warned ominously.
“I won’t,” I agreed readily, even though I knew I was still fighting my demons.
Mom was ready to move on.
I wasn’t sure if I ever would be.
“I love you,” I told her.
“I love you, too, honey. Try to work on those grandchildren. You’re my only child.”
Oh Lord, the guilt. “Sure, Mom.”
We disconnected and I tossed my cell onto the table in front of the couch.
I picked up a huge throw pillow and hugged it against my body.
My mother was always the only person I could count on, except for Laura.
I didn’t need a man to complete my life.
I was okay with who I was, but lately, I was feeling a lot lonelier than I ever had. Maybe it was the change in location. I didn’t have as many friends and acquaintances here in Seattle. I’d left them all behind when I’d moved out of New York City.
I missed the parties.
I missed constantly being so busy that I didn’t have to think.
New York was full of people I knew who would go visit an exhibition, a show, go for drinks, or any other activity that would consume my thoughts for a time.
Seattle actually felt more like home, and for me, I was discovering the sense of being settled was actually…dangerous.
I thought too much about my life now.
I thought too much about my future.
Moving here had been the first real opportunity I’d had to really consider the fact that my modeling career would end someday. And I really needed to be thinking about my future.
Sure, I was still the recognizable face for Easily Beautiful, one of the biggest luxury cosmetic companies in existence. And I had a lucrative contract that wouldn’t be over for another year.
Not that I really had to worry about money. My lengthy stint as a successful model had made me wealthy, but even better, it had kept me so busy traveling and making appearances that I hadn’t had time to think.
Now, I did.
And it pretty much sucked.
I closed my eyes and took a couple of deep breaths in and out.
Living in a state of mindfulness had helped me get through all those years of career craziness.
Don’t worry about the past.
Don’t stress over the future.
All I really have is right now.
I tried to be present, living in the current moment, in touch with how I was taking up space and existing in the world around me.
I kept breathing, trying to connect my mind and body.
It had always worked for me.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get the peace I craved. My brain was too determined to think, and I couldn’t seem to make those negative thoughts vanish.
Brynn
I woke up early the next morning, and immediately got ready to hit the state-of-the-art gym I had in my condo complex.
I’d never been the type of woman who lived in a melancholy state, and I wasn’t about to start now.
Doing my exercise would help me get back to normal. At least I hoped it would.
I stuffed my swimsuit in my duffel bag. I didn’t pay enormous association dues for nothing. My condo came with every imaginable amenity, and I planned to take advantage of every single one of them.
I did a short meditation in my condo, and then some relaxing yoga, forcing my mind away from anything except the present, and then snatched my bag and headed for the door.
After locking up, I headed for the elevator—no way was I traipsing up and down twenty-three stories of stairs every single day. Maybe I wanted to be fit, but I wasn’t a masochist.
I regretted my decision the moment the doors opened with a swoosh and I looked at exactly what—or should I say who?—was inside the lift.
Every damn female hormone in my body stood up and took notice the second Carter Lawson grinned at me.
My skintight, stretchy workout pants and the tank I was wearing suddenly made me feel like I was naked. Correction—the way he looked at me stripped me bare.
Just like it had at the cocktail party.
I hated the fact that Carter was deliciously handsome, and decadently dangerous.
My body riveted in place, and he had to motion to me to get into the elevator.
I finally stepped in, annoyed with myself. I didn’t even know the man. Maybe he was drop-dead gorgeous, but there was no reason for me to let him affect me. None whatsoever.
It wasn’t like I didn’t see beautiful men in my profession.
I saw the hottest of the hot male models all the time, and even did shoots or commercials with them.
But none of them had ever made my nipples get this painfully hard with a casual glance. And I’d certainly never had the urge to climb any of them like a tree and beg them to take away the sharp pain of desire that seized me with a single look from Carter.
His eyes are so damn blue.
The man had already won the genetic lotto. Why did he have to have such gorgeous eyes?
I tore my gaze away from his as I leaned against the opposite wall, ignoring him.
The difficulty was, once the door closed, I could smell him. I could sense him. And I sure as hell couldn’t forget what he looked like in that custom dark-blue suit that matched his eyes.
“Headed for the gym?” he asked in a casual baritone that seemed to vibrate through my entire body.
His voice was like fine whiskey and sin, and so much sexier than I ever could have conjured up in my mind.
“Yes,” I replied. My retort had a lot more angst than I would have liked. “And the pool.”
“Nice facilities,” he mentioned. “Lived here long? I’ve never seen you.”
Why did his comment about the workout facilities feel like something way different?
I’m starting to imagine things.
I still didn’t look at him because he made me uneasy, but I could feel his gaze on me.
I shrugged. “I bought a place here. Just moved in last week.”
I really wanted him to stop talking. His voice was like a mating call to me, and I was definitely in heat.
“I’m in the penthouse,” he drawled.
Yeah. Of course he was. Probably nobody except a billionaire could afford the luxurious dwelling that took up the entire top floor.
I finally looked at him, but regretted it almost immediately. A disconcerting pop! ran down my spine, zinging in every single vertebra until all that energy finally pooled directly between my thighs. “Don’t you have your own elevator?” I snapped, pissed off because I sounded so irritable.
His smile got broader, like he knew how his presence in the enclosed car was getting to me, and then shrugged. “They’re doing maintenance on it.”
And, just like me, there was no way he was going to take the stairs. Not that I could blame him. He looked like he was dressed for work, not a single hair out of place.
I searched for an imperfection that would make him seen more human, but I couldn’t find a single one. Somehow, I had a feeling everything Carter Lawson did was cool and calculated.
“How sad for you,” I countered in
a slightly sarcastic tone.
Jesus! I needed to get out of the elevator. The short ride had turned me into a raving bitch.
All that training to always be nice in public had apparently disappeared.
The way I felt when I was in close proximity to Carter made me so edgy that I could do nothing more than count every millisecond until I could make my escape.
I was just about ready to breathe a sigh of relief when the elevator stuttered to a stop just before it reached the lobby.
It took me a moment to realize that his hand had slammed against the Emergency Stop button.
His expression was less amiable, and a lot fiercer than it had been when he’d waved me in.
My stomach lurched with the elevator as I gawked at him. “What are you doing?”
“I want to have dinner with you,” he stated, as though it were an order. “We saw each other yesterday at the benefit. We connected. I know you know what I’m talking about. It has to be fate that put us in this elevator. I was going to try to find you anyway, but now you’re here, and we live in the same damn building.”
“Why do we have to pursue it?” I said breathlessly as he moved closer. “And I don’t believe in fate. We make our own destiny.”
“I usually don’t either,” he grumbled. “I’m the last person who’d ever leave anything to chance.”
“I’m busy,” I told him in a rush.
“Tonight?” he asked with a frown.
“Every night,” I answered as he crowded me.
Carter pinned me in with a hand resting on each side of my head, his body so close that I nearly groaned.
“Bullshit,” he growled. “You’re as damn intrigued as I am. We’re feeling the same chemistry. I don’t fucking understand it, but I want to. And I think you do, too.”
“Maybe I just don’t like you. I don’t like pushy men,” I snapped. “Please get the elevator moving. I’m sure the malfunction has already gone to the front desk. They’ll call the fire department.”
“I don’t give a shit,” he answered. “Say you’ll have dinner with me and I’ll push the button in a heartbeat.”
I had to tilt my head slightly to look at him, which was saying something for a model who often towered over a lot of guys. “Not interested,” I said firmly, but with some desperation that I couldn’t keep out of my tone.
He smelled like sandalwood and alpha male, a scent that was entirely intoxicating, and I hated myself for wanting to drown in the pleasure my senses were experiencing.
But the thing that really got to me was his eyes. They’d turned a molten blue, and there was a barely discernible glint of longing there, a feeling that somehow sparked something inside me, too.
“Dinner,” he insisted.
“No,” I shot back.
“Then I definitely need this,” he said, his warm breath drifting over my lips before he swooped down and stole my mouth.
As natural as breathing, I parted my lips and let him consume me. I felt cocooned in a world that only contained Carter, and I felt so damn alive as he conquered and took control of my every emotion.
I’d been kissed. Many times. But never in the tantalizing way that Carter was devouring me right now.
He teased.
He nipped at my lips when he was done, promising a world of pleasure like I’d never visited before.
Nothing touched except our lips, but he didn’t need to make connection anywhere else. His warm, delicious mouth had completely made me his prisoner.
“Stop,” I finally squealed after I’d turned my head in a panic, pushing desperately against his massive bulk.
He pushed with his palms, putting distance between us, letting me free, but I still felt caught up in his delicious aura.
I scrambled to push the button that would get us moving again.
I have to get out of here. I have to escape.
I dashed out of the elevator the second the doors opened, ignoring the building staff who seemed confused as to why the lift had come to a halt.
“Wait!” I heard Carter’s voice call behind me. “I’m sorry,” he said as he caught my upper arm, keeping me from continuing to move down the hallway to the gym.
I spun to face him, angry now that I wasn’t trapped in a small space with him. “If you touch me again, I’ll put you on the floor with pepper spray,” I warned.
He looked surprised. “You have mace?”
Of course I had mace. I’d lived in New York City. I had a stun gun too, even though they’d been illegal there. “Yes,” I answered slowly, not taking my eyes off him.
“Did I scare you?”
“No,” I denied. I was such a liar.
Carter didn’t frighten me in regard to my personal safety, but he terrified me in a far different way. Instinctively, I was pretty sure he wouldn’t physically harm me, but I wasn’t willing to take a risk with my emotional health. He did something to me that scared the hell out of me.
I didn’t lose control.
I didn’t just give in to a man. Not ever.
And I sure as hell never kissed a stranger in a damn elevator.
I kept my distance from him, pulling my arm from his grasp, but refusing to back down. Thank God there was almost nobody in the hallway to the gym. Most people were headed to work by now.
Carter frowned. “Look, I don’t know what just happened. I really did just want to have dinner, but I’m weirdly attracted to you in a way I don’t even understand. My name is Carter—”
“Lawson,” I finished. “Co-owner of Lawson Technologies, along with your two brothers, Jett and Mason. I know who you are. And I’m still not interested.”
“Then how do you know me if you’ve never been interested?”
“Oh, it isn’t that I’ve never paid attention,” I informed him. “It just so happens that I was a very early investor in Lawson Technologies. I threw a lot of money into your corporation as soon as it went public. I do my homework.”
His lips turned up slightly. “You have me at a disadvantage then.”
“I bet that doesn’t happen often,” I mumbled.
“Hardly ever,” he confirmed.
It took me seeing a gym-goer giving us a puzzled look before I realized that we were in a public place, exchanging barbs.
Granted, he never should have kissed me, but I could have easily gotten free. The minute he realized I wasn’t willing anymore, he’d backed off.
I wasn’t the type of woman who scurried off in fear. Carter Lawson had just caught me unaware. “Brynn Davis,” I said, reluctantly putting my hand out.
He took it immediately. “Truce?” he asked.
I raised a brow at him. “For now. Just don’t kiss me again.”
“No promises on that,” he said as he slowly released my hand. “But you’ll be a completely willing participant next time. I can guarantee it. I’ll even ask your permission first.”
God, the man could be charming. I was pretty sure he could convince a Seattleite that the city needed more rain and less sunshine if he really wanted to. “Very unlikely that I’d ever give you permission,” I retorted.
He stared at me for a moment before he asked, “Brynn Davis? The supermodel?”
I nodded.
“Didn’t you do some ads for Lawson? Maybe that’s why you look so familiar.”
I had. I was impressed that he remembered my name if not my face. “I did. But it was years ago.”
I’d been thrilled to be working on a Lawson ad campaign since I was heavily invested in the company. But I’d been glad when they’d gone in another direction and focused more on the technology instead of trying to make the company sexy.
“Not that many years ago,” he mused. “And all the more reason why you should have dinner with me. We have past connections.”
There was that myst
erious smile again, the one that made me squirm.
I replied, “An investor and previous model for your brand isn’t what I’d call a past connection.”
“It could be,” he said hopefully.
Yep. Completely charming.
“Still not interested. I don’t have time to date. I’m busy. I’m starting my own fashion line with a friend, and I still have modeling commitments.”
“Who said it was a date?” he said in a voice that almost sounded innocent. “It’s just dinner.”
I stepped forward and straightened his tie for some reason. It had probably gone askew when he’d kissed me in the elevator, and it somehow seemed off since the man was always meticulously put together. I patted his lapel when he looked perfect again. “Have a good day at work, Mr. Lawson. Keep making money for your investors. I’m hitting the gym.”
“I won’t stop trying,” he warned as I turned to continue on my way.
I finally smiled because my back was to him. “And I’ll keep saying no,” I muttered as I walked away.
Carter obviously hadn’t succeeded in life without being tenacious.
Fortunately, I could be just as stubborn.
Carter
“I kissed a woman in the elevator today,” I shared with my brothers Mason and Jett later that day in my office. “I didn’t really know her, but she got to me.”
I wasn’t one to confess my sins to my brothers, mostly because they’d eventually use them against me to piss me off.
But my head was still reeling about what had happened that morning, and I was still perplexed about exactly why I’d felt compelled to kiss Brynn Davis. It wasn’t like I was usually a pervert who ran around kissing any woman I wanted.
I was a whole lot more sophisticated and subtle.
At the risk of sounding conceited, I can honestly say that I have no problem finding a woman when I wanted one. What in the hell had I been thinking to hit on the one single female in Seattle who wasn’t interested?
But see…maybe that was the problem. She was a challenge, and I hadn’t had one of those in a very long time.
However, I hadn’t known she wasn’t going to be into me when I’d first seen her, and that was confusing since I’d known that I wanted her in my bed since we’d locked eyes at the charity benefit.