‘Like you’d buy another Labrador?’
‘Different thing.’
‘Not to the owner of the snake,’ she said. ‘Love’s where you find it.’
‘That sounds like something my grandma might say.’
‘Does your grandma like snakes?’
‘Excluding snakes,’ he said, and grinned. ‘You can’t cuddle a snake.’
‘Yeah, love needs cuddles,’ she said, and bent and cuddled Bonnie some more, and there was all sorts of stuff happening in his chest and he didn’t want any of it. ‘Sam...’
‘Mmm?’ He’d like to back out of here, he thought. He needed to leave and come back when this woman wasn’t here. It was bad enough that he’d nearly lost his dog, but the way Bonnie was lying there, it was like...he was losing her a little anyway. Giving part of her to Zoe.
Jealous?
No. It wasn’t jealousy, he thought. It was sharing, and he didn’t do sharing. Sharing meant...sharing. Since Emily’s death he carefully hadn’t shared anything at all.
‘Doug said she’ll need to stay off her leg for weeks,’ she said. ‘Even though it’s plated, he wants the bone fragments to have every chance they can get to fuse. I was thinking...if you wanted to share care, I go onto night duty on Monday. Bonnie could stay with you during the night, but you could pop her into my apartment during the day. You need to sleep at night. I need to sleep during the day. Bonnie needs to sleep all the time but you can’t tell me she won’t sleep better in a basket right next to a human. I know you’re best but for the next few days, would you like me to be second best?’
Whoa.
Say no, he told himself fiercely. He did not want to be further indebted.
The trouble was, she was right. Bonnie wasn’t just suffering from a broken leg. The lacerations were deep and nasty, she had fractured ribs and she had massive bruising. Even though the plate would allow her to weight-bear almost immediately, she’d still need to be kept quiet.
For her to sleep by Zoe during the day...
‘Just add another surfing lesson to the end of my course,’ Zoe said, smiling at him. ‘But, honestly, it’ll be as much for me as it is for Bonnie. I’ve never lived away from home before. I wanted to come here, but I am lonely.’
Help.
He wasn’t used to this. Emily would never have looked at him frankly and admitted loneliness. Admitting weakness was...weak.
Maybe it wasn’t. There wasn’t much about Zoe that spelled weakness, he thought. She was direct and honest, and she was waiting for an answer to an offer that made sense.
‘Thank you,’ he said, because he had no choice, and she gave a businesslike nod that said her offer had no emotional overtones at all, that it was all about sense.
‘Excellent. Would you like to slide in here under Bonnie?’
As if on cue, his dog opened her eyes and looked at him. He’d been expecting her to look like she was in pain, shocked, confused. Instead...she almost looked smug, as though to say, ‘I have the two of you at my disposal. You want to get this shift change over fast so I can go back to my comfortable snooze?’
He sat beside Zoe, she eased back and handed over her position, but as she did, his body brushed hers, his hands touched hers, and she was so close...
And then she moved away.
‘Bye, Bonnie,’ Zoe whispered. ‘You keep on getting better. Bye, Sam. See you tomorrow.’
And she was gone.
She wasn’t imposing, he thought. She’d come to see Bonnie but she had no intention of interfering with his time with her.
It’d be okay. He could share Bonnie’s care with her for the next few weeks, and he could teach her to surf, because she’d respect his boundaries. He could tell that about her already.
The problem was...
‘The problem is that I don’t know where those boundaries are any more,’ he told Bonnie, but Bonnie was already asleep again.
Bonnie was happy. Bonnie was safe and settled, and he should feel good.
He did feel good. He just didn’t feel...settled.
* * *
He approached Sunday with a certain amount of trepidation, but it wasn’t justified.
What had he expected? Some needy kid, giggling, treating it as a joke? Or—and subconsciously maybe this was what he’d most feared—a woman treating it as a first date? An excuse to get close, as so many woman had tried to since Emily’s death.
He knew he had been seen as fair game by the single female staff since Emily had died, and maybe he’d been expecting the same from Zoe.
But she wasn’t the least bit interested. She made that clear from the outset when she ran out to the parking lot to meet him, carting an armload of wetsuit and a box full of lamingtons. She was wearing faded shorts and a rash vest, she’d hauled her hair back into a loose knot to get it out of the way and her face was coated in thick, white zinc.
No woman he knew wore the practical, sensible but thick and obvious white zinc sunscreen. Better a bit of sunburn than sporting a pure white nose, but Zoe appeared oblivious.
‘Callie lent me her wetsuit,’ she told him. ‘I’ll buy my own as soon as I’m assured this sport’s not going to humiliate me.’
She had no time for niceties, for social chitchat. He’d promised her two hours and she was intent on taking every single moment of those two hours and using them to full effect. They spent the first hour on the beach, practising lying full length on the board then doing the seemingly simple yet vital sweep to standing. He told her what to do, he helped her, he corrected her, he held her while she balanced, and there was no hint she even saw him as a person.
He was the conduit to her surfing, and she ached to surf.
When he finally told her she’d graduated to the shallows her beam was almost house-wide, but it wasn’t for him. She was totally inward-focussed, and by the time the two hours were up he knew that she was fulfilling a dream she’d had for years. It was as though she was watching a rainbow and having someone steer the boat while she headed for it. All eyes were on the rainbow.
So there, he told himself ruefully as they hauled the surfboards up the beach at the end of the two hours and hit the box of lamingtons with relish. Zoe had managed to do a wobbly stand in six inches of water, but by her beaming grin you’d have thought she’d conquered twenty-foot boomers.
‘It was awesome,’ she said, smiling and smiling.
‘So are these lamingtons.’
‘Thank you.’
‘I’ll be down on the beach tomorrow night if you want to come,’ he heard himself say—and then did a double-take inside. Had he really said that?
But she was shaking her head.
‘Night duty tomorrow,’ she said. ‘I don’t want to start tired. Plus I need to decorate my room. I have so many plans, you can’t imagine. Besides, this is your time, your surfing. I don’t want to interfere with your private space. Two hours on Sunday is all I ask, and it’s all I’ll take. Thank you, Sam, for a magic two hours.’
And she heaved her surfboard—one she’d hired at his suggestion until they could figure what would suit her—on top of her battered little car before he could help her, tied it down with clinical efficiency, gave him a wave and another of her bright smiles, and left him.
She’d gone, and the beach was emptier for her going.
Well, of course it was, he told himself savagely. What was he, an idiot? Why was he standing looking after her like a teenage kid with a crush?
He had another couple of hours before he needed to get back to the real world. Bonnie would be discharged from the vet’s tomorrow. This might be the last chance for weeks to have a really solid surf.
He hauled himself together and headed back to the waves, but the thought of Zoe stayed with him.
He didn’t need to worry
about boundaries, he thought. I have so many plans, you can’t imagine... Surfing was simply one of them and any thought that she’d see him as part of those plans was pure ego.
Or pure desire?
There was definitely desire. Sense or not, she’d left him with half a box of lamingtons—and he wanted more.
* * *
He didn’t see her all Monday. Even if he’d wanted, he had no time to see her. He, Cade and Callie treated Molly Carthardy, aged four, who presented with shortness of breath at kindergarten. The kindergarten teacher had queried asthma but Molly had ended up on the operating table getting a full graft to replace a faulty artery. She’d make it, which made Sam smile, and he was left seriously impressed with Cade’s skills. Great colleagues or not, though, he left work exhausted. Then he collected Bonnie and brought her home.
She was sore and sorry for herself but she could walk with a heavy limp, and she was overjoyed to be back with him, back in her own basket.
He spent the night with her, carrying her outside twice so she could sniff the grass in the small entrance garden. At seven in the morning he needed to be back in the wards, and Bonnie whined as he dressed—she knew what his suit and tie meant. Zoe’s offer was there. It was sensible and Bonnie came before pride. ‘It’s only a couple more surfing lessons and you’re worth it,’ he told her, and he picked up the gear she’d need for the day and went and knocked on Zoe’s apartment door.
Zoe answered with the smile that did his head in. It was the beam he was starting to know—and love? It was like the sun had come out, radiating straight from that smile.
‘Hey, I hoped you’d take me up on my offer.’ But she wasn’t beaming at him. She was hugging Bonnie, who gave a little snort of pleasure and shoved her nose into Zoe’s armpit.
Zoe had obviously just come off night shift, showered and changed into sleeping gear. Her gorgeous curls were spiralling, damp and wild, down her back. She was wearing a vast, soft, powder-blue dressing gown, which looked like it’d fit two of her in it, and he had an almost irresistible desire to see if two would fit.
Dog-girl greeting over, Zoe looked up at him and he almost had his face under control by the time she did.
‘If you meant your offer...’
‘Of course I meant my offer. You’ve brought her stuff—great.’
‘I’ve just taken her outside. She should be right to sleep for hours.’
‘I never sleep well anyway,’ she confessed. ‘I get up and snack, so if I need to get up and take Bonnie outside it won’t affect me at all. Do you have a number I can reach you on if I need you?’
‘I... Sure.’ He waited while she grabbed a pen and then watched in astonishment as she scrawled it on her hand.
‘There,’ she said. ‘May I never need to wash again.’ Then she chuckled. ‘Okay, I’m a nurse, I need to wash, but one of the hospital techies is fixing my phone. I’ll get it back tonight and then you can have your own permanent place in my friends’ list.’
And what was there in that statement to make him feel uncomfortable? To feel like he was stepping over boundaries? A colleague, putting his cellphone number in her list of contacts? What was weird about that?
‘Hey, don’t look like that,’ she told him, and this time, thankfully, she hadn’t read his thoughts, or if she’d tried, she’d got it wrong. ‘I know it must be awful leaving Bonnie but she’s in safe hands. I won’t let her on my bed—I won’t let her risk her leg by jumping. If she gets distressed I might even drag my mattress onto the floor. Bonnie and I intend to have a lovely, cosy time, don’t we, Bon? She’ll be safe, Sam. I will look after her and I don’t take risks.’
And there it was.
I don’t take risks.
What was it in that statement that made his world change?
She was a gorgeous, warm, vibrant, clever, kind, resourceful woman, and she was standing in front of him, declaring that she didn’t take risks.
A knot inside him seemed to be unravelling.
Something inside him was saying that maybe he could just...take a risk himself?
‘Go,’ she said, and suddenly, before he knew what she intended, she straightened, stood on tiptoe and kissed him, lightly, on the cheek. ‘Off you go to save the world while woman and dog keep the home fires burning. Work well while we sleep well.’
And then she ushered Bonnie into her apartment, she gathered Bonnie’s bedding from his seemingly limp arms, she gave him another of her gorgeous smiles—and she backed inside and closed the door behind her.
* * *
Zoe closed the door, stooped to comfort a worried Bonnie, and then found herself leaning against the door as if the weight of her body could stop it opening again. As if she should lean against it and keep Dr Sam Webster on the other side.
There were two Sam Websters, she thought, trying to catch her breath. One was the guy who surfed. He was lean, bronzed and ripped, with sun-bleached hair and eyes the colour of the sea. The other was the chief paediatric cardiologist of Gold Coast City Hospital, a skilled, empathetic surgeon at the top of his game. She’d been here long enough to learn Sam’s reputation was second to none. The package of Cardiologist Sam included sleek Italian suits, the faint scent of masculine aftershave and gorgeous silk ties. His tie was dotted with embroidered teddy bears this morning, and had seemed enough to make her go weak at the knees.
‘It’s not fair,’ she told Bonnie, letting go of the emotions she’d been fiercely repressing from the time she’d heard the doorbell. She felt herself blush from the toes up. ‘Whoa, this is my teenage years catching up with me. All those times while my sisters had adolescent fancies and I was too sick to join in. I guess I had to have ’em some time. Here we go. Let’s get it all out in one fell swoop with Dr Sam.’
Three deep breaths. Okay, she was over it, she told herself as she went back to reassuring Bonnie. Or...she was sort of over it?
‘I shouldn’t have kissed him,’ she told Bonnie, but then she thought, no, the kiss was okay. It was the sort of kiss a woman who wasn’t being hormonal would give; a kiss of friendship and reassurance that she’d take care of his beloved dog.
She took Bonnie into her bedroom, settled her in her basket beside the bed and slipped between the covers. Getting to sleep after night duty, at a time when the rest of the world was heading to work, was always hard. She’d learned relaxation techniques. She explained them to Bonnie.
‘I know you’re anxious about being with me and not with Sam, and I know you’re sore, but sleep’s good. First of all you stretch your toes—or pads. Flex every muscle—only don’t flex so far it hurts. Then, tell yourself every single muscle is going to sleep. Focus only on your toes, one after the other. Think of nothing else. Nothing else.’
Silk ties with teddy bears. Aftershave. Sun-creased eyes and a smile to die for.
‘See, that’s the way to stay awake,’ she said crossly to Bonnie, who was showing every sign that the relaxation lecture was working. ‘Thinking of Sam. I can think of him and still relax, though. It’s sort of like winning Tatts,’ she told herself, not very convincingly. ‘A girl can dream. As long as you keep those dreams where they belong. Right here on this pillow.’
Bonnie wuffled and stirred and she put her hand down and soothed the soft brown head.
‘I know,’ she said. ‘I’m keeping you awake. I’m stopping now. I can be very sensible when I try.’
She closed her eyes and concentrated on her toes.
Silk ties with teddy bears...
She was going to have to try very hard, she thought. She finally did drift off to sleep but silk ties with teddy bears—and one sexy smile—were right there with her in her dreams.
CHAPTER FIVE
TO SAY GOLD Coast City ran on gossip was an understatement. Staff worked long hours under stressful circumstances. The hospital apart
ments were right next to the hospital, so medics saw each other off duty as well as on. The huge emergency department meant medics and paramedics saw first hand every day how fragile life was. Staff could crack under the pressure, or they could let off steam in other ways, and one of those ways was gossip. Hot affairs were common, but not as common as rumour had it, so Sam shouldn’t have been surprised that within two weeks the grapevine had Zoe and him bedded and almost wedded.
The grapevine had played with him before—at one stage he and Callie had been whispered to be a hot item. It hadn’t bothered him then that long-term friendship was construed as something else. Callie had almost seemed to enjoy it— ‘I’m rumoured to be a bad girl, Sam, so what’s a bit more wickedness on the side?’ They’d let it run its course and it had done no harm.
So why was the grapevine disturbing him now?
It was because he couldn’t step away from her.
Though actually he could. Zoe was on night duty so their paths rarely crossed on the wards. He met her twice a day when he dropped Bonnie off and picked her up. Handover was brief. Zoe always seemed pleased to see him, but maybe she sensed his need to be impersonal. They exchanged a few brief words, an update on how the rapidly recovering Bonnie was faring, and he left as soon as possible.
They had their surfing lessons each Sunday but even then Zoe was so focussed on learning to surf it was as if she hardly noticed him. He’d never seen someone so intent, so determined, and so joyous at each tiny step along the way.
The first time she managed to wobble to her feet and stay upright for a whole ten seconds, a casual observer would have assumed she’d just won Olympic gold for her country. She whooped and whooped, and he had an almost insatiable desire to take her in his arms and lift her and swing her in triumph—and then crush her to him so her triumph was his.
He didn’t. He managed to stay back and watch, smiling a little, instructor pleased with student. She looked at him and laughed out loud and kicked and sent a vast spray of water out over him.
‘Look at you. You look like I’m pretending to be Einstein because I’ve just switched on an electric light. I know I have a million miles to go but I’ve just taken the first step.’
Gold Coast Angels: A Doctor's Redemption Page 7