All's Fair
by Nancy Krulik • illustrated by John & Wendy
Grosset & Dunlap
An Imprint of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
GROSSET & DUNLAP
Published by the Penguin Group
Penguin Group (USA) Inc., 375 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014, USA
Penguin Group (Canada), 90 Eglinton Avenue East, Suite 700, Toronto, Ontario M4P 2Y3, Canada (a division of Pearson Penguin Canada Inc.)
Penguin Books Ltd, 80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
Penguin Ireland, 25 St Stephen’s Green, Dublin 2, Ireland (a division of Penguin Books Ltd)
Penguin Group (Australia), 707 Collins Street, Melbourne, Victoria 3008, Australia (a division of Pearson Australia Group Pty Ltd)
Penguin Books India Pvt Ltd, 11 Community Centre, Panchsheel Park, New Delhi—110 017, India
Penguin Group (NZ), 67 Apollo Drive, Rosedale, Auckland 0632, New Zealand (a division of Pearson New Zealand Ltd)
Penguin Books (South Africa), Rosebank Office Park, 181 Jan Smuts Avenue, Parktown North 2193, South Africa
Penguin China, B7 Jiaming Center, 27 East Third Ring Road North, Chaoyang District, Beijing 100020, China
Penguin Books Ltd, Registered Offices:
80 Strand, London WC2R 0RL, England
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Purchase only authorized editions.
The publisher does not have any control over and does not assume any responsibility for author or third-party websites or their content.
Text copyright © 2013 by Nancy Krulik. Illustrations copyright © 2013 by John & Wendy. All rights reserved. Published by Grosset & Dunlap, a division of Penguin Young Readers Group, 345 Hudson Street, New York, New York 10014. GROSSET & DUNLAP is a trademark of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
Library of Congress Control Number: 2012012074
ISBN 978-1-101-61089-3
For Jeffrey and Amy, for reasons known only to them—NK
For Sarah, Shane, Kate, Katie, Bonnie, Netta, and all the good friends the magic wind has blown our way—J&W
Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
About the author
Chapter 1
“You can do it!” Katie Carew cheered as her friend Jeremy Fox threw a rubber-tipped dart at the target she had set up in her backyard.
Plop. The dart missed the target and landed in the grass.
Jeremy frowned, but Katie kept smiling.
“That’s the closest you’ve gotten yet!” she told him.
Jeremy shrugged. “Yeah, but I still missed,” he said. “I’ll never win a prize at the Cherrydale County Fair.”
“Sure, you will. You’re getting much better,” Katie assured him. “Besides, the fair’s not until this Saturday. You still have a whole week to practice.”
“Not really, Katie Kazoo,” Jeremy said, using the way-cool nickname Katie’s friend George had given her back in third grade. “I’ve got a soccer game tomorrow and a drum lesson on Tuesday. Then there’s my travel team soccer practice on Wednesday and—”
“Ruff! Ruff!”
“Woof! Woof!”
Just then, Katie’s chocolate and white cocker spaniel, Pepper, came racing across the lawn with a dart in his mouth. Pepper’s best friend, Snowball, was following right behind him.
Jeremy reached down and took the dart from Pepper. “Man, that’s slimy,” he said. “Who knew dogs had so much spit?”
Pepper looked up at Jeremy and wagged his tail. He was very proud of himself. He’d just fetched the dart and brought it back.
“Thank you,” Katie said, bending down and petting the soft, smooth fur on Pepper’s head. “Good dog.” She looked up at Jeremy. “You want to try again?”
Jeremy wiped the slimy dog spit off the dart with the bottom of his shirt. “Definitely,” he said.
Jeremy pulled his arm back and got ready to throw. But before he let the dart go, a loud screeching noise came from the yard next door.
“You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy . . .” Katie’s neighbor, Mrs. Derkman, was singing at the top of her lungs.
“Aroooooo!” Snowball howled along.
“Ruff! Ruff!” Pepper joined in.
“Mrs. Derkman must be gardening again,” Katie said. “She says singing makes her roses grow larger.”
“That’s not singing,” Jeremy said. He shook his head. “I still can’t get used to the fact that our old teacher lives next door to you.”
Mrs. Derkman had been their third-grade teacher last year. She was the toughest teacher in the whole school. Katie was glad she was in fourth grade with Mr. Guthrie now. He was the coolest teacher in the whole school. Mrs. Derkman wasn’t exactly what anyone would call cool.
“You’ll never know, dear, how much I love you . . . ,” Mrs. Derkman sang out.
“Aroooo!” Snowball howled.
“Um . . . Katie, you want to practice in my yard for a while?” Jeremy suggested. “It’s hard to concentrate here. Besides, Lucky doesn’t fetch. It will be easier to throw a dry dart than a slimy one.”
Lucky was Jeremy’s pet cat. “Okay,” Katie said. She picked up the target. “Just let me tell my dad where I’m going.”
“Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do. I’m half crazy over the love of you . . .” Mrs. Derkman squawked . . . er . . . sang to her rosebushes as Jeremy and Katie walked to Jeremy’s house.
“Hi, Mrs. Derkman,” Katie said. “Your roses look really pretty.”
“Yes, my babies are getting there,” Mrs. Derkman said. “But they’re not quite big enough to win a blue ribbon at the county fair. I wish we had a few more weeks, so they could really blossom.”
Katie stopped dead in her tracks and stared at her neighbor. “YOU DO NOT WISH THAT!” she exclaimed loudly. “YOU CAN’T!”
Mrs. Derkman lifted the brim of her green gardening hat and stared strangely at Katie. “Why not?”
Katie gulped. Why not? Because people should never make wishes, that’s why. Wishes were dangerous things. Especially if they came true. And no one knew that better than Katie Kazoo.
Chapter 2
It all started one day at the beginning of third grade. Katie had lost the football game for her team, ruined her favorite pair of jeans by falling in the mud, and let out a gigantic burp in front of the whole class. It was the worst day of Katie’s life.
That night, Katie had wished she could be anyone but herself. There must have been a shooting star overhead, because the very next day, the magic wind came.
The magic wind was like a wild tornado that blew just around Katie. She never knew when the wind would arrive, but whenever it did, her whole world was turned upside down. That was because the magic wind was so powerful it could turn Katie into someone else.
One . . . two . . . switcheroo!
The first time the magic wind came, it turned her into Speedy, the third-grade class hamster. While Katie was Speedy, she’d spent the whole morning running around, trying not to get stepped on.
The magic wind returned later to switch Katie back to herself. But it wasn’t finished with her. The wind had been back plenty of times since then. Like the time it turned her into Lucille, the lunch lady at school. Katie had started a food fight and had almost gotten Lucille fired.
Another day, the magic wind came and switcherooed Katie into a hairdresser named Sparkle. Katie didn’t know the first thing about cutting hair, so just turning into a hairdresser would have been bad enough. What made it worse was that Katie’s best friend, Suzanne Lock, was the person getting her hair cut. Boy, did Katie make a mess out of Suzanne’s head!
And then there was the time the magic wind switcherooed Katie into a baseball player named Mike Reed. Mike was an awesome shortstop. But Katie wasn’t. She dropped a really important fly ball—and then started to cry in front of a whole stadium of fans. Only the fans didn’t know that it was a fourth-grade girl who was crying on the jumbotron screen. They thought it was Mike. That had been sooo not good!
That was the problem with the magic wind. Every time it came, it made a mess of things, and Katie was left having to fix everything. That one little wish had gotten Katie into heaps of trouble. So she didn’t make wishes anymore. And she didn’t like when anyone else did, either.
Of course, Mrs. Derkman didn’t know that. Nobody knew. Katie had never told anyone about her switcheroos. She couldn’t. No one would believe her. Katie wouldn’t have believed in switcheroos, either—if they didn’t keep happening to her.
Still, Katie had to tell Mrs. Derkman something. So she said, “I just mean, your flowers are almost perfect. If you had to wait longer than a week, they might start to wilt. Or bugs could get at them.”
Mrs. Derkman made a face at the word bugs. She hated all insects. “You’re right!” Mrs. Derkman exclaimed. “Bugs are the enemy! I have to go to the store and get more insect repellant.”
And with that, Mrs. Derkman got up and headed right for her scooter, which was parked in her driveway. “I’ll see you kids later,” she said as she put on her helmet. “I must protect my babies.”
“Come on, Katie,” Jeremy said as soon as Mrs. Derkman sped off. “I need to practice. This year I’m going to win a prize even if I have to spend all day throwing darts in the midway.”
Chapter 3
“Okay. On your marks! Get set! EAT!” Kadeem Carter shouted in the cafeteria during lunch on Monday. He clicked the button on his stopwatch.
Almost immediately, Andrew Epstein began shoveling his lunch in his mouth. He ate his sandwich in just two bites and swallowed a whole carton of milk without ever putting it down.
“Gross,” Suzanne said. She put her lunch tray down next to Katie’s. “What are they doing?”
“I’m timing Andrew for the pie-eating contest they’re having at the county fair,” Kadeem told Suzanne. “He has to eat two whole pies faster than anybody else.”
Suzanne watched as Andrew stuffed a handful of grapes into his mouth. His cheeks puffed out like a squirrel eating nuts.
Just then, Mrs. Derkman came over to the lunch table. “Andrew, slow down,” she warned. “You’re going to choke if you’re not careful.”
“But—” Andrew began to say.
“And don’t talk with your mouth full!” Andrew shut his mouth, chewed, and slowly swallowed. “That’s better,” Mrs. Derkman told him and walked away.
“Man, she’s still being bossy and she’s not even our teacher anymore,” Kevin said as soon as Mrs. Derkman was out of earshot. “I pity the third-graders who have her.”
Katie pulled her sandwich from her lunch bag, looked at it, and shook her head. “More blueberry jam,” she said with a sigh.
“Don’t you like blueberry jam?” Emma Weber asked her.
“Sure,” Katie said. “It’s just that my mom and grandma have been making batches and batches of it for weeks now. They’re trying to get it perfect so they can win a blue ribbon at the fair. I’m their official taster.” She took a bite of her sandwich. “I think this is from batch forty-seven.”
“All I have for lunch is cold leftover pizza,” Emma said. “My mom has no time for cooking or baking. She says that with five kids she should get a prize just for getting through the day.”
Katie smiled. Emma’s mom was probably right. Especially since two of those kids were Timmy and Tyler, her wild two-year-old twin brothers.
Kevin Camilleri pulled a giant red tomato out of his bag. “Have you guys ever seen a tomato this big?” he asked the other fourth-graders.
“Are you going to eat that whole thing?” Jeremy asked.
“Definitely,” Kevin said. “And I have cherry tomatoes for dessert.”
“How many does that make, Kevin?” Katie asked him.
Kevin pulled a pad from his back pocket and wrote down a number. “I have eaten six hundred twenty-seven tomatoes since the beginning of the year,” he announced.
“Too bad they don’t have a blue ribbon for that,” Emma Stavros said.
“Yeah.” Kevin agreed. “But they do have a prize for the biggest, reddest, roundest tomato. And I’m going to win that. My dad has been helping me grow them in the little greenhouse that we built. Every one I’ve grown is as beautiful as this one right here.”
“Hey, do you guys know how to fix a broken tomato?” Kadeem asked, looking up from his stopwatch.
“How?” Kevin wondered.
“Tomato paste!” Kadeem laughed at his own joke.
“That’s pretty good,” Kevin said with a laugh. He looked over at Andrew. “You missed a peanut butter cracker,” he told him.
“Thanks!” Andrew said with his mouth full. Little bits of bread, cracker, grapes, and peanut butter flew out of his mouth.
“No talking!” Kadeem yelled at him. “You have to swallow every bite.”
“That’s disgusting,” Suzanne said.
Becky Stern looked across the table at Jeremy and batted her eyelashes. “Are you going to win a prize for me this year?”
“If I win anything, I’m keeping it,” Jeremy told Becky.
“Well, maybe you’ll win an extra prize that I can have,” Becky replied.
“It seems like everyone is entering some-thing at the fair,” Emma said.
“Not me,” Katie told her. “I just want to go see the farm animals. Maybe I’ll get to milk a cow or pet a pig.”
“Eww, I’m not getting near them!” Suzanne said. “I’d get all smelly, and Miss Candy Apple has to smell sweet, not yucky.”
“Miss who?” Katie asked her.
“Miss Candy Apple,” Suzanne repeated, loud enough so everyone could hear her. “Well, Junior Miss Candy Apple, actually. It’s a beauty pageant. I’m sure I’ll win. After all, I am a model.”
“No, you’re not,” Mandy Banks told her. “You’re just a kid who takes modeling classes.”
“It’s the same thing,” Suzanne insisted. “And I’m ready. I’ve been practicing my beauty pageant face for weeks now.” She tilted her head to the side, smiled, and shoved her fingertips into her cheeks.
Kadeem also puffed up his cheeks, tilted his head, and pushed his fingers into his face. All the air rushed out. He sounded like a balloon that had popped. “Maybe I’ll enter, too,” he said. Jeremy and Kevin laughed.
“Here he is, Mr. Candy Apple,” Jeremy sang.
Kadeem got up and started walking around the table, waving to everyone like a beauty queen. “That’s Junior Mr. Candy Apple,” he said, correcting Jeremy.
“Go ahead, make fun,” Suzanne said. “But I’ll be the one having the last laugh at the fair when I win the title. And believe me, I will win.”
Chapter 4
“Watch me wave one more time,” Suzanne told Katie as the girls arrived at the Cherrydale County Fair on Saturday morning.
“Suzanne, I’ve been watching you wave, walk, and smile for almost a whole week now,” Katie reminded her.
“Come on, girls,” Katie’s mother said excitedly as she and Katie’s grandma hurried through the parking lot. Katie’s mother held a jar of their homemade blueberry jam.
Katie picked up the pace. She was excited, too. This week had gone by so slowly—with Katie watching Suzanne walk and wave, helping Jeremy with dart throwing, and taste testing oceans of blueberry jam. But finally, here she was at the fair—Katie couldn’t wait to get on the rides, see her friends, and play with the animals.
“Do you know what time Downhill Slide is playing?” Suzanne asked.
Katie looked at her, surprised. Downhill Slide was a band. Their music teacher, Mr. Starkey, performed in it. Suzanne had never cared about the band before.
“At twelve o’clock,” Katie said.
“Oh good!” Suzanne said. She sounded really excited. “I want to be there just in case any of the pageant judges are around. I want them to see me dancing. I want them to notice how much I love everything about this fair. Junior Miss Candy Apple has to be beautiful and have a sparkling, winning personality.”
As they reached the gate, Katie’s mom turned to them. “We’re going over to the food tent,” Mrs. Carew told Katie and Suzanne. “The jam judging is at twelve thirty if you want to stop by.”
“Oh, I’ll be there,” Suzanne assured her. “I’m going to make sure I’m seen at everything.”
“Don’t you mean you’re going to make sure you see everything?” Katie’s grandma asked her.
“Oh. Yeah, right,” Suzanne said. But Katie knew Suzanne had meant what she said the first time.
All's Fair (9781101610893) Page 1