by Anthology
She nodded. “Let’s go downstairs.”
“Excellent idea.” He tilted his head toward the top of the staircase, gesturing for her to go first.
Before she could think too hard about anything, she strode almost-topless to the stairs. The winter cabin air was cold against her bare belly and shoulders, but his gaze on her backside felt searing, burning hot.
She was just turning the bend in the staircase when she heard a rattle at the front door. At first she thought it was the wind, but when she heard the turn of the doorknob—and voices—she froze in a panic two steps from the bottom floor.
Jake’s hands slid up her back, cupped her shoulders. “What’s the matter?”
“People,” she gasped. Pulling out of his grasp, she pushed past him to return upstairs, where she’d so tastefully left her shirt and sweater strewn over a tabletop bear sculpture.
At least he’d sworn under his breath before she’d left him, not wanting to be interrupted any more than she did.
She untangled her T-shirt from the sweater.
Should she be grateful they’d been interrupted?
Shaking, she shoved her arms into the sleeves one by one and pulled it over her head. When the tag scratched her chin, she realized she’d put it on backwards. To hell with it. She dragged the sweater over the T-shirt and ran her fingers through her hair, trying to remember if she’d been wearing any colored lipgloss that might be smeared across her face.
Who could that be downstairs? She was going to have a long, serious talk with Jody about this “empty” cabin at Tahoe. She’d been in department stores the Saturday before Christmas that were more empty than this.
Jake’s voice drifted up from the stairs. “It’s Jody and Simon.”
Oh, God. She wasn’t ready to talk to Jody about kissing her brother after all these years of talking about not kissing her brother. She wasn’t even ready to be doing it.
Sasha double-checked her clothes, rearranging her breasts in the comfort bra, and scanned the dining table for evidence of hanky-panky. Would unfinished lasagna give them away?
And why the hell were Jody and Simon here, anyway?
She sat down and began poking her meal with her fork, hoping she didn’t look as dreamy and weightless as she felt.
He’d kissed her like he really, really wanted her.
She put her hand over her chest, felt the still-rapid beat of her heart.
“Sasha?” Jody appeared at the top of the stairs with a bottle of wine and a worried smile. She looked behind her before walking over and asking in a quiet voice, “Was it wrong for us to come?”
Sasha smiled down at her dinner, avoiding her friend’s eyes. “Of course not. Got out of work after all?”
“Well, in a way… ”
Simon and Jake appeared at the top of the stairs now, carrying more groceries and a case of beer. Simon asked him about some game. Jake, bless him, apologized for not being into sports, which only set Sasha off into a feverish daydream of the infinite weekends ahead of them in which she and Jake would be entwined in each other’s arms, not watching sports together.
Forever.
Forever was what she wanted, but this was not what Jake wanted. It was an old joke that Jake said he wanted to settle down, then dated dozens of women without getting very close to any of them.
Settle down. Yeah, right. He was full of it. Lying to himself, perhaps, but lying nonetheless. He liked being single.
While the men talked in the kitchen as they put away the beer, Jody sat in an empty chair next to Sasha and lowered her voice to a whisper. “I found out Trixie had sent Jake up here. I thought you might need rescuing.”
Sasha scooped cold lasagna into her mouth and wondered if the heat flooding her face was enough to warm it up, like nuking it in the microwave.
She needed to say something. Like, you ruined everything. Or, you were just in time.
Instead she asked, “Have you eaten? I’ve got more lasagna in the freezer. Doesn’t take long to heat it up.”
“No, no, we grabbed a burger in Truckee.”
“Did you need to put on chains?” The snow was still piling up outside, forming skinny white mountain ranges on the deck railing.
“No, we borrowed Simon’s friend’s truck. It’s got four-wheel drive.”
“That’s lucky.” Sasha wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep up the small talk. Her wine glass was empty and all the blood that normally fueled her brain cells hadn’t returned yet from her reproductive organs. It pooled there—waiting, hopeful, confused.
Mostly hopeful.
She stood up, faking a yawn. “I think I’m going to make an early night of it. The drive wiped me out.”
Frowning, Jody looked over at the men, then at her. “I thought you might like the buffer, you know?” she whispered. “We found out this afternoon that Trixie had sent Jake up here. I thought we’d better come too.”
“I’m fine, but it was nice of you to worry about me.”
“Trixie loves to play matchmaker. She—” Jody cut herself off because Jake was walking toward them.
“I’ll clean up,” he said, shooting Sasha a quick, unreadable look.
Sasha decided that neither one of them knew what they were doing or what they wanted. She watched him gather the plates, imagining him lifting her instead. Hauling her away, sudsing her up, making her hot and slippery…
Jody cleared her throat.
Embarrassed, Sasha dragged herself back together and turned away. “Boy, am I tired. Can’t wait to get some sleep.”
Putting a hand on her arm and squeezing, Jody spoke softly in her ear. “It’s good we came. Don’t worry. We’ll keep Jake busy so you don’t have to spend any time together.”
“Thanks,” Sasha said faintly.
8
JAKE WASHED THE DISHES, AVOIDING his sister’s dirty looks.
Had she guessed what he’d done, and had been about to do, to her best friend?
The erotic charge of kissing the girl he’d known so well for so long still lingered in his body, making him clumsy with the dishes. He accidentally splashed soapy water over the edge of the sink onto his feet, wetting his socks.
Was it just the thrill of the forbidden? Because now that Jody was here, raking him with her narrow-eyed, suspicious glances, he wanted Sasha more than ever. Lovely, quiet Sasha. Hot, hungry, sexy Sasha. His baby sister’s friend, always over at their house because her own wasn’t so great, too young then for him to think of the way he was thinking of her now.
When she’d pulled her shirt off… damn. He’d almost taken her right there on the kitchen table. His legs shook as he remembered the sight of her soft curves, her hard nipples under her bra.
He dropped the plate he was washing. It fell at an angle against the marble countertop and shattered into several pieces.
“Whoops,” he said.
“I can’t believe you,” Jody said, reaching under the sink for the garbage can.
“Relax. I’ll pay for it.”
“It’s part of a set. You can’t just pay for it.”
“It’s a vacation house. I’m sure it’s not their finest china or something,” he said.
“You’re too casual about the damage you can do.”
He knew she wasn’t talking about the dishes. He swept the ceramic shards into the trash with a paper towel. “What are you doing here, Jody?”
“Simon and I had planned on coming up here for weeks. We canceled when we both got swamped at work, but then we decided we could telecommute from up here.”
“Even though Sasha was already here? And me?”
“Especially because Sasha was already here. With you.” She peppered those last words with an evil eye.
He looked over his shoulder to make sure they were alone. “Sasha can take care of herself. She’s all grown up.”
“Oh, you’ve noticed that, have you?”
He shoved the garbage can under the sink and turned on her. “What’s your problem? A
re you jealous?”
His sister’s mouth popped open.
“You never did like to be excluded,” he continued, twisting the metaphorical knife.
“You’re going to hurt her.”
“Excuse me?”
“She doesn’t have any defenses when it comes to you.”
His annoyance at his sister’s insulting meddling gave way to an odd, dizzy pleasure. He found himself smiling. “Really?”
Jody whacked him on the arm. “Stay away from her.”
Years of repressed feelings he’d been too embarrassed, ashamed, afraid to admit were churning to the surface. All these years.
What an idiot he’d been.
He’d admired her, he’d respected her, he’d loved her without calling it by its name.
“No,” he said, striding away from his sister toward the stairs.
Sasha sat on the large bed, staring at herself in the snowshoe-shaped mirror on the wall across from her. Her cheeks were pink, her eyes wide and dazed. She hadn’t moved for several minutes, just kept sitting there, trying to think, waiting for her pulse to return to a normal rate.
What should she do? So far, her brain had insisted she stay in her room until tomorrow at least, away from Jake, giving him plenty of time to change his mind or confirm it. If it weren’t for the snow, she would’ve packed up and driven home to insure clear-headed decision-making for both of them.
Her body, however, quivered as if electrocuted. She dug her fingers into the thick comforter and licked her lips, remembering, savoring, wanting. Deep in her chest, her heart danced wildly and expansively, finally freed from its years locked inside a jail she’d constructed out of common sense and necessity.
All those years.
She studied her face, not as young as it used to be. The dim overhead lighting cast dark circles under her eyes, giving her an unwanted preview of her future, even-older self. Would she look back on this moment with regret? No matter what happened, this night marked a boundary in her life she would never forget.
At any point since she was fourteen, she would’ve grasped at whatever scraps of attention he threw at her. But now? Was she really that desperate to jump into bed with him just because he felt like it? Just because they were here in a mountain cabin with the snow tumbling down, muffling the world around them, isolating them in a quiet, warm, delicious—
She stood up. Yes, yes she was. Of course she was. Who was she kidding?
She tore off her shirt and jeans, frowning in the mirror at the white underwear she uncovered. Since she hadn’t expected the dramatic turn in events, she hadn’t packed any suggestive lingerie. Plenty of wool-blends and extra-strength moisturizer, but no peekaboo bras or microfiber thongs.
Well, as the saying went: less is more. She unfastened her bra, wiggled out of her panties, and slid her jeans and T-shirt over bare, sensitive skin.
Barefoot and breathless, she walked over to the door, paused with her hand on the knob, then pulled it open.
Jake was standing there. Gaze raking over her, he stepped beside her, crowding her in the doorway, and smiled. “Hello again.”
The scent of snowflake-kissed Jake washed over her. “Hello.”
Hooking an arm around her waist, he pulled her into the room and kicked the door shut. Then, still holding her against him, he slipped the hook-and-eye latch together and pressed her against the back of the door. They stared into each others eyes, both of them breathing hard.
“Now,” he said, capturing her face in his hands and lowering his head, “where were we?”
“Right here. We were right here,” she whispered. Her nose brushed his cheek, giving her a tantalizing reminder of how good his skin tasted.
“So we were.” Pushing her harder against the door, he kissed her open-mouthed, hard, hungrily.
Dozens of fantasies rushed through her mind like a fast-forwarded sex tape. How often had she imagined this very position? She ran her hands through his hair and held on. He tasted so good. His kisses were passionate but not too aggressive; he teased her just enough between deep thrusts of his hot, wet tongue to give her a chance to breathe. And whatever he was doing with his hands on her ass—how had they gotten there?—oh, now one was under her shirt, caressing her belly, moving upward to her breast…
“Nice,” he said, discovering she was braless.
“Nice,” she gasped. “That’s me.”
“Mm.” He jerked her shirt over her head and held her arms in place against the door. “You’re better than nice.” He slid his hands down her arms and let them settle over her breasts.
Nipples hardening, she kissed his dimpled chin. How many times had she fantasized about doing that? A million?
He ducked his head, kissing his way down her neck, licking the pulse at her throat, nibbling her collarbone. Desire spiked between her legs, making her knees buckle.
“You’re so beautiful, Sasha.” His breath tickled her skin. “God. I can’t believe… I never thought… ”
She arched her back, thrusting her breasts into his face. While he sucked her nipples, an unwelcome thought pushed to the surface of her mind. She tried to fight it, but it wouldn’t go away. “Never?”
“I didn’t let myself.” He sucked harder, making her throw her head back against the door. Her wrists were still caught in his loose grasp over her head. Sliding his hand into the small of her back, he moved his mouth over to her other breast and licked the tip of her puckered nipple.
With a shiver, she pulled her arms free and put them on his shoulders. A gust of wind rattled the bedroom windows. The storm was picking up. “I couldn’t help myself,” she said.
He put a hand on her cheek and shook his head. “I wish I’d known.”
Did he? What would he have done? If this was the first time he’d ever thought of her this way, what was the chance of him loving her the way she loved him?
The thought turned her cold. Her desire was like a cell phone that had just fallen in the toilet.
Twisting out of his arms, she walked across the room. “I can’t do this.”
He followed, reaching for her, but saw the look on her face and stopped. “What did I say?”
“Jody was right. I can’t be alone with you. It’s not good for me.” She grabbed her shirt and pulled it on, then walked around him, well out of groping range, and opened the door. “I’m going upstairs.”
“Wait, wait.” He ran a hand through his hair. “What’s going on? I’m sorry. It’s my fault, I’m sure, but could you just explain—”
“It would never work. I care too much.” She forced a smile. “It’s been too long, you know? If you’d felt—if you’d—but that’s not fair. It’s not your fault. It’s just life. I’m going upstairs. Have a nice life.”
“Hold on—”
She broke into a jog and hurried upstairs, tripping over the top step as she stumbled into the living room, where Jody and her boyfriend would save her from her self-destructive impulses.
But it was empty. The TV and lights were off, leaving the room dark and quiet. The only illumination was from the floodlights outside, reflecting the heavy, shimmering snowfall.
Jake’s accelerating tread on the stairs made her spin around with her heart in her throat. He turned the corner and approached her without pausing, the uneven light from outside casting dark shadows across his face.
“I’m not going to let you run away,” he said, his voice low.
She eyed the space she’d need to get past him to the stairs. Once in her room, she could lock the door, plug her ears, sing la la la, and block out the thought of him until the snowplows came and she could drive home.
But he put his hands on his hips, filling all available space, telling her with his big, strong, handsome body that he wasn’t going to let her escape.
Her heart had been already skipping along in a hurry, but now it broke into a sprint. Maybe she could jump out the window. Would hypothermia be so bad?
“You’re the one who’ll run awa
y,” she said.
“Is that what you’re afraid of?”
She crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m sorry to say this, Jake, but I know you better than you know yourself. You’re not ready for where this would go.”
Eyebrows rising, he took a step closer. “I’m not?” A smile curving his lips, he took another. “Are you sure about that?”
She bumped into the couch behind her. “You’ve ended every relationship just before it got serious.”
“Maybe I always knew I was with the wrong woman.”
“You’ve never thought of me that way before, you said. Never.”
“I was lying.” He caught her in his arms and pulled her against him. His voice dropped. “You were just a kid.”
“I haven’t been a kid for a long time.”
His hand moved up her arm to her hair. He caught a strand between his fingers and brought it to his lips. “So true. We have a lot of lost time to make up for.”
She closed her eyes. His hard body fitted impossibly well against her curves.
He was the Borg; resistance was futile.
No, she had one more weapon. The nuclear option.
She opened her eyes. “I love you, Jake.”
She expected a flinch, a frown, a furrowed brow—but those never came. Instead, his dark gaze softened, and, pulling her closer, he said, “I wish I’d known earlier.”
9
WELL, HELL. SHE COULD HARDLY put up another fight after that. Chucking her fear along with her T-shirt and jeans, Sasha wrapped her naked body around the man she’d loved so long and pulled him with her onto the couch. In seconds he was as naked as she was, the speckled light from outside dancing along his broad chest. She splayed her fingers over his pecs, enjoying the warmth of his bare skin, savoring the sight of raw desire on his face. And the rest of him. She’d imagined a lot, but hadn’t done him justice. Maybe he’d let her take pictures some day. Or do a self-portrait.
“God, Sasha,” he groaned into her neck as his hand stroked between her legs. “I don’t know how long I can last. I’ve never—”
She caught his earlobe between her teeth and bit lightly. “Never?”
“Never wanted anyone like this before,” he finished, pushing her knees apart and settling between them. He already had a condom in his fist and was trying to tear it open with his teeth.