by Oram, Jean
* * *
Later that night, Mitch couldn’t get comfortable on the couch. The pink and white lights from the tree weren’t the problem. A jumble of thoughts was what kept him awake.
His cell phone buzzed with a text notification.
Dare: JENNY SAID YES! WE’RE GETTING MARRIED!!!!
Mitch: Congrats!
Dare: Thanks. Gotta run.
Unable to sleep, Mitch got up and stood in the doorway to the bedroom.
The rise and fall of Lizzy’s chest told him she’d been asleep for a while. Good, she needed the rest. She’d kicked off her blanket, so he covered her.
He’d never thought a woman as beautiful, smart, and caring as Lizzy could love him. Not after he’d grown up hearing how stupid and worthless he was. But Lizzy had loved him. He knew it.
Nurturing others—patients, friends, him—was who she was. She anticipated his needs, spoiled him with words of encouragement, took care of him, and…
Did everything.
A conversation they’d had after she moved out crashed into him like a rogue wave.
Tell me what I can do to save our marriage. Do you want me to not reenlist?
What you do as a Ranger is important. The army isn’t the problem. You’d throw yourself into whatever job you had. That’s why I’ll never be a priority.
That’s not true. You know how I feel about you. You don’t need me to tell you all the time.
What if I do? You called your guys in the hospital every day. Sometimes more than once according to the cell phone bill.
They were injured. They needed me.
So did I, but you ignored me for days. Forgot my birthday and our anniversary
I said I was sorry. I love you. Please don’t tear us apart. Let me fix this.
There’s nothing left to fix. Your actions spoke louder than any words could. You made it clear how you felt about our marriage and me through them.
A chill shivered down his spine. He’d believed Lizzy was wrong, but now…
She was one hundred percent right.
Mitch had been blind and ignored the truth. He’d let Lizzy carry the entire load of their relationship, and then acted like she was overreacting when she called him on it. He might love and trust her, but he hadn’t been caring for her the way he should. Not even close.
Emotion clogged his throat. He backed out of the bedroom.
He’d failed her. Horribly.
Forget his plan. He had to do what was best for Lizzy, make sure she had what she needed, even if that wasn’t…him.
Chapter 6
Christmas Eve
The twenty-fourth of December arrived with blustery weather. Lizzy stood on the veranda. She should need more than a sweater with the wind blowing, but thinking about Mitch’s kisses warmed her right up. This trip was what she’d needed. She hoped he felt the same way.
A blanket covered her shoulders.
Mitch stood behind her. “You’re going to catch a chill.”
Not with him so close. “I haven’t been out here long.”
“I’m sorry about last night,” he said. “I didn’t mean to push. But kissing and touching you…it felt right.”
“You have nothing to be sorry about. I didn’t tell you to stop. I kissed you back.”
“I need to come clean about something.” He turned Lizzy, so she faced him. “I invited you to Indigo Bay with an ulterior motive. I wanted to, um, woo you.”
“Woo?”
“Dare’s word.”
“I’m not surprised, given he’s dating a writer, but you told me you didn’t want to be alone…”
“That was true, but I also had a plan to get you back.”
A part of her was flattered, but another was confused. “Why do you want us to get back together so badly?”
“You’re my wife.”
“Yes, but…” She searched his face for a sign about what he was thinking, but she found nothing. “Could it be you’re more worried about having a marriage fail and being alone?”
“Maybe.” The word rushed from his mouth. “I…I don’t know.”
Lizzy released the breath she’d been holding. She hadn’t known what she’d wanted him to say. “I appreciate your honesty.”
“I’ve always been honest with you. I never meant to hurt you, but I have, and I’m sorry.” His gaze implored her. “I’m not sure I deserve another chance, but if you’ll give me one, I’ll do whatever it takes.”
“Until you put your platoon ahead of your marriage.”
“I promise not to lose sight of you. Or us. Ever again.”
The desperation in his voice pierced Lizzy’s heart. She wanted to believe him, but she was scared. A part of her wanted to give their marriage another try, but she was afraid she’d find herself in the same situation—or a worse one. The risk was too high. She had to take care of herself.
She laced her fingers with his. “I love you, Mitch, but that’s not enough. I’m physically and mentally wiped out after trying to hold us together on my own. I can’t do it anymore. I’m sorry things turned out this way.”
“Me, too.” A mix of regret and resignation filled his gaze. “But I finally heard what you’ve been saying. I understand why you want to move on without me. You deserve so much more than I gave you.”
His realization made her want to cry. “T-thanks.”
Mitch raised their linked hands and kissed the top of hers. “Thank you for coming to Indigo Bay with me and still wanting to be friends after everything that’s happened.”
“We’ll always be friends. You said it yourself. Nothing will ever change that.”
* * *
Later that afternoon, Mitch stood in line with Lizzy while they waited for their turn to hang an ornament on the community tree. No one minded the long wait. People laughed and chatted. Every other word seemed to be a “Merry Christmas.”
His phone buzzed.
Dare: Was so excited I forgot to ask how your plan was working.
Mitch: I’m scrapping it. She deserves better than me.
Dare: Don’t make that choice for Lizzy. Let her decide.
Mitch put away his phone. “Know your wish yet?”
“Still deciding,” Lizzy said. “You?”
He nodded. Except was it the right wish to make now?
A quartet dressed like Dickens’ characters sang Christmas carols. Mitch’s emotions were all over the place, but he focused on making sure Lizzy enjoyed herself.
When their turn arrived, he handed the ornament to her. “You first.”
She closed her eyes for a moment before handing the colorful ornament back to him. “Your turn.”
He’d wanted to wish for his wife not to divorce him, but another wish came to mind.
My Christmas wish is for Lizzy to find someone who will love her the way she needs.
Mitch had thought he was that person, but instead, he’d taken all she had to give him without giving much in return. Even this trip was about his needing her and not wanting to be alone. He was finished being selfish. He was willing to give her up, so she could be happy.
Together, they hung the ornament on a branch.
Stepping back, she smiled. “Guess we’ll see if it works.”
“I hope our wishes come true.” For her sake.
As the sun sank toward the horizon, streetlamps and miniature lights illuminated the street. The carols continued with the crowd joining in. Anticipation built as the final person hung their ornament.
“Welcome to Indigo Bay’s Annual Tree Lighting Ceremony,” a man announced over a loudspeaker. “This is where all your Christmas wishes come true.”
The crowd cheered, including Lizzy. Mitch loved her enthusiasm. He loved everything about her.
A drumroll played.
“This must be it,” she whispered into his ear.
He fought the urge to hold her close one last time, but that was what he needed, not her.
The tree illuminated with thousands of multico
lored lights. The mix of ornaments—large and small—reflected the bulbs.
The crowd clapped.
Lizzy stared in awe. “It’s so beautiful.”
Not as beautiful as you.
The urge to kiss her nearly overpowered him, but he kept himself from touching her. They would never be more than friends.
Mitch wasn’t close to being okay with that, but putting Lizzy’s needs first was more important. He’d let her down, and he wouldn’t do that again. He would give her a wonderful Christmas, so she would know how special a woman she was.
Chapter 7
Christmas Day
The twenty-fifth of December dawned with swatches of pink, orange, and purple painted across the sky. Staring out the window, Mitch tried to lose himself in the breathtaking view, but all he could think about was Lizzy.
His sweet Lizzy.
Not his for much longer.
“You’re up early,” she said from behind him.
Mitch hadn’t slept. He wanted to do what was right, but it was killing him.
Turning, he forced a smile. “Merry Christmas.”
“Merry Christmas to you. I’ll make coffee.”
“Already did. The cinnamon rolls are heating up in the oven, too.”
The surprise on her face was another dagger to his heart.
Her smile looked almost tentative. “You’re spoiling me.”
He should have been doing that all along, as Lizzy had with him. “You deserve it.”
“You do too, Mitch.”
Something passed between them. Something he hadn’t felt before. Something more than attraction or affection.
She bit her lip and looked away.
Whatever had been there was gone. Unless it had been his imagination.
“Want to open presents now?” he asked.
“Sure. I’ll be right back.” She slipped into the bedroom and returned with a gift wrapped in red foil paper and tied with a gold ribbon. “I’m so happy we’re celebrating Christmas.”
“Me, too.”
Mitch handed her a box wrapped in pink paper. “This is for you. I stuck to the color theme.”
“Good job.”
Heat rushed up his neck. Pathetic. He was like a dog waiting to be praised for a trick done well.
Lizzy unwrapped the present and opened the lid. Her lips parted.
“Oh, Mitch.” She raised the hand-painted ornament that was shaped like a heart. “It’s beautiful.”
“Read the back.”
“Wherever life takes us, know my heart will stay with you. Love and friendship always, Mitch. Indigo Bay, 2017.” Her eyes gleamed as if she were on the verge of tears.
Lizzy’s display of emotion made it hard for Mitch not to reach out to her. Instead, he shifted positions. “Merry Christmas.”
“Thank you. This is…” She sniffled. “This is perfect.”
His relief was palpable. “I’m happy you like it.”
Mitch wanted Lizzy to understand that whether he wore a gold band on his finger or not, nothing would change his feelings for her. He couldn’t believe how appropriate the words painted on the back turned out to be.
She handed him a box. “Your turn.”
He opened the package and pushed aside the tissue paper. Inside was a book with his name and the words “The Best of Times…” on the leather cover. “What is this?”
“Open it.”
He lifted the cover and saw photographs of himself and others. Army photos were accompanied by notes from guys he’d served with over the years. Others were from random times with friends. Each had a funny story, memory, or quote related to the picture.
He touched a page almost reverently. “This must have taken you forever to make.”
“I started last year. I had help. People sent me pictures and words to include.”
“No one mentioned anything.”
She grinned. “They knew better.”
Mitch laughed. She’d captured so many moments with this book, but one person was missing. He paged forward. No pictures of him and Lizzy. “You’re not in here.”
“We don’t have that many pictures of us together.”
His heart fell. “You were always the one taking the photos.”
She nodded. “Not being into selfies came back to bite me with this project, but it’s okay under the circumstances. I made this for you.”
Except she was the biggest part of his life. Or should have been if he hadn’t been so stupid.
“Thanks. I’ll cherish it forever.” Mitch would, but this gift showed him one more way he’d failed Lizzy.
“Christmas turned out so much better than I expected. That’s because of you.”
Not trusting his voice, Mitch nodded. He had another gift for Lizzy—part of his misguided plan. He wasn’t sure if he should give it to her.
Dare’s text came to mind.
Don’t make that choice for Lizzy. Let her decide.
Would Mitch be able to live with himself if he didn’t do that? Even if giving Lizzy what she deserved might ruin the rest of their Christmas and the chance of them remaining friends?
He wished he knew the answer.
* * *
Spending the day watching holiday movies and snacking reminded Lizzy of Christmases past, but the long walk on the beach set this holiday apart. The tension between her and Mitch had disappeared. More than once, she’d had to stop herself from holding his hand or touching him. She chalked that up to old times’ sake.
This vacation had served not only as a needed getaway, but also as a bridge for their relationship and friendship in the future. That was bittersweet because being with Mitch in Indigo Bay showed her what could have been and the kind of marriage she wanted.
As he peered into the oven, she set the table. He’d taken on the task of heating the complete meal they’d ordered. No other cooking for either one of them.
“Should only be another half-hour.” He pulled her toward the couch. “That gives me plenty of time to give you your other gift.”
“I only got you one present.”
“A perfect one.” Mitch handed her a small white box with a tiny red bow stuck on the top. “I should have given you this a long time ago.”
Lizzy had no idea what he meant. She removed the lid and saw a black velvet ring box inside.
Her heart slammed against her rib cage. “Mitch—”
“Open it.”
She did. A dazzling diamond solitaire was set on a gold ring that matched their wedding bands. She forced herself to breathe. “It’s gorgeous, but why are you giving me this?”
“I’d meant to get you an engagement ring before.”
“We had other expenses.”
“Yes, but…” He took a breath. “This ring was part of my plan to get you back.”
She gazed into his eyes. “A pretty good plan.”
“For me. Not for you.” He dragged his teeth over his lower lip. “You’re the only person who has ever loved me and been there for me one hundred percent, but I took you for granted. I’m embarrassed by the list of would’ve, should’ve, and could’ve where you and our marriage are concerned. If I could make it up to you, I would. I never meant to hurt you or make you question yourself, our marriage, or me. I’m sorry.”
“I appreciate you saying that. I’m sorry, too.” Her heart pounded. “I was also at fault. I made so many mistakes and waited too long to tell you how I was feeling. I blamed you because I felt as if I was the only one working on the marriage. I accepted the role of martyr. That colored my attitude and played a big part in my unhappiness. I appreciate you wanting to give me something so special, but I don’t need or deserve this ring.”
He wrapped her hands over the ring box. “Yes, you do.”
A lump burned at the back of her throat.
His gaze softened. “I wanted this ring to show you how committed I was to getting us back to the way things were before.”
She nearly squealed with happiness. Maybe t
hey could make this work after all.
Last night, fear had kept Lizzy from risking her heart, but today, after truly seeing Mitch’s efforts during this trip, she was ready. She didn’t want to live with the regret of giving up on the man she loved and their marriage without at least trying.
He let go of her hands. “But I don’t want to go back to that.”
The air rushed out of her lungs. Her heart shattered.
She didn’t blame Mitch for feeling that way. She had been the one to ask for a divorce.
Lizzy stared at their linked hands. “I understand.”
But she didn’t want to lose it in front of Mitch. She concentrated on her breathing. In—out. In—out. Tears stung her eyes. She blinked. Once, twice.
“I don’t think you do, babe.” He raised her chin with two fingertips, so he was gazing into her eyes. “I don’t want to go back because that wasn’t good for you. We both were responsible for our marriage not being what it should be. I want a second chance for us to start over. Make the most of a new beginning where we don’t rush, and we both do our parts, so we get it right this time.”
Her heart rate quadruped. Her hands trembled. She nearly dropped the ring box. “I… That sounds… Yes. Please.”
Mitch lowered his mouth and kissed her—a kiss full of longing and love. A kiss that spoke of a future together and dreams coming true.
He touched his forehead to hers. “Will you go out on a date with me when we get back?”
Her body tingled with anticipation. “Only if you go on a date with me.”
“As many as you want.” Mitch wrapped his arms around her. “Looks like my Christmas wish came true.”
She rested her head against his shoulder. “That means mine did, too.”
He drew back to look at her. “What do you mean?”
“My Christmas wish was for yours to come true.”
“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” He brushed his lips over her hair. “Guess we’ll be coming back to Indigo Bay next Christmas.”
Their time here had reminded them of why they’d fallen in love three years ago and the good times they’d shared. Indigo Bay was special. “Why wait an entire year?”