But what did she want? She spent so much time worrying about other people that she didn’t have a clue. Her career wasn’t enough anymore. Even having a child for someone else wasn’t as satisfying as she’d hoped it would be. It had been more confusing than anything. What did she want? Freedom? Family? Passion? Excitement?
“What do I want?” she said aloud to the night. Maybe the stars would point her in the right direction. As the question turned in her head, thoughts immediately drifted to Alex’s bright, disarming smile. His messy hair. She could almost hear his muffled laughter through the water.
Gwen wanted to wish for Alex. She might as well wish for the moon. It would be a better use of a falling star to ask for immunity from his charms instead. Then she could get through the week without giving in to him. That seductive grin of his was nothing but trouble for a girl sworn to temporary celibacy.
“But I want him, Peanut. And I shouldn’t. What should I do?”
“Personally, I’m not big on self-sacrifice, so I say if you want him, then have him.”
The muffled voice made it through the water to her ears. Startled, Gwen shot upright, sinking under the surface and then bobbing back up to the top.
Wiping the water from her eyes, she saw Alex standing at the edge of the pool. He was wearing a pair of unbuttoned jeans and nothing else. The sight of his bare chest with its hard angles and defined musculature sucked the breath from her lungs. She remembered what it felt like to run her finger over the ridges and how the sprinkle of dark blond chest hair tickled her nose when she rested her head on him. Her eyes followed the trail of hair as it darkened and disappeared into his low-slung jeans. There didn’t appear to be anything under them, as though he’d just tugged them on to run downstairs.
A sudden heat flushed through her body. She wanted Alex, but she certainly hadn’t wanted to announce it to him. Not when she was fighting the feelings. It just gave him ammunition to use against her. How long had he been standing there? Listening to her? Watching her white belly float along the surface? Anger quickly dampened her desire. Gwen furiously splashed a handful of water at him, sending him flying back a few steps to avoid it.
“What’s that for?” he asked.
“For sneaking up on me,” she snapped, her legs furiously kicking to keep her petite body at the surface in the deep end of the pool. “What are you doing out here?”
“I couldn’t sleep. I came down to get some water and see if there was any of Helena’s pound cake left. I saw you through the kitchen window. What are you doing swimming alone in the middle of the night? Isn’t that one of the basic no-no’s for pool safety?”
Gwen ignored his question, swimming toward the shallow end so she could touch the bottom of the pool. Alex followed her, walking along the concrete edge in bare feet.
“My back was killing me,” she said. “It woke me up, actually. I thought the pool might help. I certainly wasn’t going to wake any of y’all up to babysit me while I swim.”
Alex’s eyes narrowed at her with concern. He seemed to be doing that a lot the last few days. She wished he’d just go back to glaring at her with poorly masked desire. That, she knew how to deal with. Sorta.
“Would you like me to rub your back for you? I give great massages.”
Gwen’s gaze darted to meet his. The concern was gone, the playful, seductive Alex returning. Yes, he gave good massages. She’d been treated to one in his apartment, complete with musky-scented massage oil and a happy ending for them both. His hands had been like slick magic on her skin. But that was then. Letting him try it after going months without a man’s touch, even for something as innocent as a back rub, would ruin her plans. She’d fall off the wagon so fast, she’d be rolling in the dirt behind it.
Instead, she just shook her head. “That’s a nice offer, but no thanks.”
Alex crouched down at the edge of the pool. “You’ve been avoiding me since I kissed you.”
Gwen opened her mouth to deny it, but there really wasn’t much point. It was true. “Yes.”
“Why?” His golden eyes were shrouded in the darkness, but she could still see the slightly pained expression on his face. Why her refusal would hurt him was a mystery when he could have any woman he wanted.
“Because I told you I am off men right now. You just don’t listen. I’m trying to take some time for me, to organize my priorities, and I’m sorry, but you nibbling on my ear doesn’t help. I don’t need the distraction. It’s just not a good idea.”
“I don’t agree. Seeing those curves of yours in that tiny bikini makes me think it’s a marvelous idea. We could have a couple great days together, then you can go back to prioritizing all by your lonesome. What could it hurt?”
Gwen planted her feet on the floor of the pool and pushed herself to stand. “Me,” she said, the water swirling around her stomach with the sudden motion. “It can hurt me, Alex. I really don’t know what I’m doing anymore. This surrogacy was supposed to help me figure out what I want, but with only a few months left, I still don’t know. But I’m trying to make some positive changes in my life. And, yes, I might want you. But, and I’m sorry if this offends you, I can’t help thinking that getting involved with you again is a step back for me, not a step forward.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever had a woman tell me that before. Usually, I’m an upgrade.” The playful glint faded from his eyes. “Gwen, you know that I—”
“—don’t do relationships,” she interrupted. “I know. And I was okay with that the first time. I certainly wasn’t looking for anything serious.” Gwen brought her hand to her stomach and stroked it beneath the water. “And I’m not looking for something serious now. I’m not looking for anything at all. But when I’m ready, I think I want something better for myself. And I don’t think you’re the man to give it to me.”
“Gwen, I’m sorry I—” He reached out, but the wide moat of water kept her out of his grasp.
“Don’t apologize, Alex. You are always up front about what you’re selling. This time, I’m just not in the market to buy it.”
* * *
Alex watched from the side of the pool as Gwen looked away, uncomfortably, to study one of the deck chairs. She’d spoken forcefully, putting up a brave front, probably hoping he’d just nod and go away so she didn’t have to keep it up any longer. He could see she was struggling. Walking in on her private conversation had just proven to him that he was right. Gwen did want him. She was just being stubborn about it. He didn’t get it. But there was only one way to get her to confess the truth. Alex would goad her into saying it.
“You’re a chicken,” he said.
Gwen’s head snapped back toward him, her eyes wide with confusion and irritation. “What makes you think you know so much about me, Alex? I was nothing but Miss October to you.”
“Maybe, but October is my favorite month, and I have an eye for details. My business wouldn’t be doing as well as it is if I didn’t understand people and what makes them tick. I know exactly what will capture their imagination and make them trip over themselves to buy one of my properties. And in my years with women, I’ve figured out quite a few additional things about them. And you.”
“Like what?” she challenged.
Alex crouched down at the edge of the water to get closer to her. “Like how you never take any time for yourself. From the first moment I saw you, you’ve been killing yourself to make other people happy. For Adrienne’s wedding. For the hospital and your patients. For your friends. Even for me during our brief time together. Now you’ve taken it to a whole new level, and you’re having a baby for someone else.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“Nothing,” he argued, “unless you’re suffering because of it. There’s a fine line between a saint and a martyr. You don’t have to be miserable to do what’s important to you. It’s about balance. When was the last time you did something just for you?”
Gwen frowned at him. He could see her struggling to come up w
ith an answer, her cheeks flushing red with anger because it was taking longer than she wanted it to. “The last time I did something selfish was giving in to my fling with you.”
He’d been expecting her to admit to something like splurging on a new dress or a pedicure. He never dreamed her answer would be something that had happened eight months ago. She was more caught up in this than he thought. “Why is doing something just for you selfish? The opposite of a giving person isn’t a selfish one.”
Gwen sighed and shook her head. “Okay, fine. You win. What do you want me to say, Alex?”
“I want you to admit that you want me.”
Her jaw tightened, her dark eyes glittering with the night lights. “What does it—?”
She started to argue, but Alex cut her off. “Say it,” he demanded.
“I want you,” she said, but there was more irritation than passion behind her words. He wanted her to say it as though she meant it. And she would before the night was over.
Alex stood and suddenly walked off the edge of the pool, splashing into the water, jeans and all. Gwen leaped back in surprise, but she didn’t have her protective moat any longer. Alex lunged at her, wrapping his arms around her waist and pulling her close.
“What are you doing?” she gasped.
“Say it like you mean it, Gwen.”
Her eyes widened and she squirmed uncomfortably under his scrutinizing gaze. “It doesn’t matter. I already told you I’m not interested in another fling,” she argued.
“So you’ve said, but you’re deluding yourself.” He looked down and noticed the hands pressing against his chest. “You’ve taken your chastity bracelet off.”
“The chlorine is bad for the silver,” she sputtered. “It is not some subconscious invitation.”
Alex smiled. She could say all she wanted, but he took it as a sign. “You and I both know there’s no point in spending this whole trip denying the fantastic connection between us.”
She immediately stilled, her breath catching in her throat.
“I know it would be easier if I just went back into the house and never touched you again. But I don’t want to. It might be selfish, but I’m not ready to give up what we have yet. I can’t stop thinking about how badly I want you, Gwen.”
He didn’t wait for Gwen’s response. Instead, he brought a hand up to her face and cupped her cheek. Her chocolate-brown eyes were still wide with surprise, but now a faint smile curved her full lips. That was all the invitation he needed. He leaned down to her, lifting her easily from the water that made her feel light as a feather.
When his lips touched hers, a surge of white-hot need knifed through his body, but he fought to control it. He wanted Gwen, but he didn’t want to rush this. He needed to take it slowly and help her navigate her way back to trusting their sexual chemistry.
Gwen’s mouth was soft and hesitant at first. She opened up to him slowly, her silky tongue gliding along his lip and teeth, teasing him. It took every ounce of restraint Alex had not to crush her against him and devour her with his mouth. Instead he let his tongue seek her out, tasting her, savoring the feel of her in his arms. She was like a rare wine. He wanted to take in her scent, let the flavor of her roll around in his mouth so he could truly appreciate it, and commit her to his memory.
His hands moved down the slick contours of her body. They glided over the cool silk of her skin, teasing him with her soft contrast to his hardness. Stepping back through the water, Alex moved them to the edge of the pool. Without his mouth leaving hers, he lifted her up to sit on the edge and erased the disadvantage of their height difference.
Gwen gasped as her backside met with the cold concrete, but she quickly recovered by opening her thighs and tugging him closer to her. The chilled pebbles of her breasts dug into his chest and echoed the heat of his arousal that pressed into her bare thigh.
Alex dipped his head to lick a drop of water that traveled down to the hollow of her throat. The sharp taste of it mingled with the salt of her skin, tempting him to run his tongue along the soft curve of her neck. She tipped her head back, her fingers lacing through his hair and urging him on.
He wanted her. Every touch, every taste, every soft cry that escaped her lips demanded that he have her. His fingers tugged at the bow of her bikini top. The blue scrap of fabric came away in his hands, and he dropped it on the concrete with a satisfying, wet thump.
Alex paused to look down at the delights he’d uncovered. The full, pale breasts that had teased him from her dress earlier in the day were on display for him at last. The creamy ivory skin was firm and flawless, the strawberry-pink tips hard and reaching out to him.
He slowly brought his palms up to each, letting her sensitive nipples graze across his rough hands in lazy circles. Gwen sighed and closed her eyes, leaning back on her hands to arch them up to him. Finally, he pressed into them, cupping each breast and letting the pad of his thumb brush the tips until Gwen whimpered. It was only then that he let himself taste them. He sucked one nipple into his mouth, then the other, teasing and tugging with his teeth and tongue until she was squirming against him and clawing gently at his back.
“Alex,” she whispered, an edge of need in her voice that he’d longed to hear again after all these months without her. That was the very thing he’d wanted from her earlier.
He answered with his hand, slipping it between her thighs and stroking her through the wet fabric of her suit. He could feel the shock wave of his touch as it rocked through her body. Her hips bucked wildly against his hand, the cry escaping her lips making his erection throb painfully as it grated on the rough, wet denim of his jeans.
Pushing the suit aside, he slipped one finger inside the hot, aching entry to her body. He could feel her muscles contract around him, tightening and straining against the invasion. Slowly, he pumped into her, the pad of his thumb brushing her sensitive nub with the apex of each stroke. Gwen writhed and thrashed her feet along the surface of the water as her climax built inside her. She was a wild and passionate woman, and he’d sorely missed that while he was gone.
He watched her face with anticipation, waiting for her body to stiffen beneath him. “Say it,” he whispered.
“I want you, Alex!” she cried out a second before the first wave hit.
Satisfied, he captured her mouth in a kiss. Alex swallowed the strangled cry of her orgasm, his body absorbing the violent shudders and jerks until, silent and still, Gwen collapsed beneath him.
“Now, that wasn’t so hard to admit, was it?”
Gwen tried to look at him crossly, but she didn’t have the energy. She was still trembling, her breath coming in short gasps, when Alex scooped her off the edge and carried her out of the pool. He stood her upright near the row of lounge chairs, reaching down to wrap the towel around her shoulders.
Once he was certain she was steady on her feet, he left her side to retrieve her bikini top and slowly made his way back. His soaked jeans hung heavily on his hips, threatening to sag to his ankles if he moved too quickly.
Alex wrapped his arm around her shoulder and guided her back to the house. He gripped his waistband to allow them to move faster through the tile kitchen, slowing once they reached the carpet that would absorb the water dripping from their bodies.
Inside her room, he shut the door behind them and flipped the lock. When he turned back, Gwen had flung off her towel. With a bold, mischievous glint in her eye, she approached him and gave his jeans a solid tug.
As expected, they slid right down without resistance, freeing his erection to jut out to her. Gwen knelt down, letting her hot breath linger on the tip for just a moment before continuing down and helping him step out of the soggy clothing. She carried it and her swim top into the bathroom, tossing them in the sink with the bottoms she had still been wearing.
When she returned, she was completely naked. Her hair hung around her shoulders in dark, wet, blond cords. Her cheeks were still rosy from her orgasm. She stopped a few feet away from him, wat
ching him through the damp clumps of her eyelashes. Gwen seemed almost embarrassed, although it was a little late to be shy. He’d seen her naked a dozen times and had never been disappointed.
But then, it occurred to Alex that things were different this time. The changes in her body might leave her feeling insecure. She probably wasn’t as appreciative of her new curves as he was. How could she not see how beautiful she was?
Alex reached out his hand to her and pulled her toward the bed. If she couldn’t see it, he’d just have to show her.
Six
Gwen let Alex guide her to the bed. He tugged back the sheets for her to slip between them, then joined her there. A chill from the pool had set in once they came into the air-conditioned house. The warmth of the blanket and Alex’s body near hers felt heavenly, chasing away the gooseflesh that drew up across her skin.
The blanket also made her feel less exposed. True, her swimsuit had done little to disguise her blooming pregnancy, but somehow standing naked with Alex’s eyes on her had made her extremely self-aware.
The last time they were together, she was at her all-time lowest weight after months of exercise and carb deprivation. She didn’t want to look like a sausage stuffed into a pink, satin casing at the wedding. Now her body was about as different as it could be. What if it bothered him more than he thought? What if he changed his mind? It was a worry that crept into her brain without her permission. She tried to chase away the negative thoughts. Alex’s desire for her was quite obvious the minute she’d tugged at his pants, and it hadn’t wavered. The same firm heat pressed into her hip at that exact moment.
Gwen forced herself to relax, letting her body sink into the pillows. Alex pulled up along her side, the heat of his skin running the whole length of her body. He propped on one elbow and looked down at her. There was a softness in his expression she wasn’t used to seeing. Most often there was humor or mischief or desire. The longing was still there, but it was laced with a tenderness that made her chest tight.
More Than He Expected Page 7