“Sure you did. How about this scenario instead? You were watching NYPD Blue and you were making sure I was busy so I wouldn’t catch you.”
“Mommy, I really did hear voices!” Then Shelley grinned guiltily. “But it was during a commercial when I had the earphones out. It was a really good episode. You would’ve liked it.”
Nicole shook her head, although she couldn’t keep the right side of her mouth from lifting in amusement. “You are incorrigible.”
“What’s that?”
“Since you’re so grown-up, you look it up in the dictionary.”
“Well,” Shelley persisted as Nicole slipped on her wristwatch. “Did he ask you for a date?”
“No.”
“No!” Shelley wailed, thumping down on the bed as Jesse jumped up to join her. “Why not?”
“Did you feed the fish this morning?”
“Sure, but you didn’t answer my question. Why didn’t Sergeant DeSoto ask you out?”
“Shelley, even if he liked me that way, I’m married.”
“That didn’t stop Daddy.”
Nicole paused. “No, it didn’t, did it?” She looked down at her gold wedding band and abruptly slipped it off, dropping it in her jewelry box.
“Daddy doesn’t wear his, either,” Shelley said quietly. “Does this mean you hate each other?”
Nicole looked at her seriously. “Certainly not. Your father and I were very happy together for a long time and we’ll always be close because of you. We’re just not really married anymore, except in the eyes of the law, and even that will change soon.”
She expected tears, a melancholy look, a plea for her and Roger to get back together again. Instead, Shelley said simply, “Okay. What about Sergeant DeSoto?”
Nicole rolled her eyes. “My matchmaking daughter. I told you he didn’t ask me out.”
“Then why was he here?”
“He came about our prowler.”
“I told you he’d believe us about the werewolf!”
“He doesn’t think it was a werewolf. He believes we have a prowler who dresses like a wolf.”
“Are they going to do a stakeout to catch the guy?” Shelley asked excitedly. “Of course, even if they collar him, and he’s smart, he’ll lawyer-up and not say a word.”
Nicole rubbed a hand across her forehead then burst into laughter. “Shelley, we have to cut down on your television time. You don’t sound like a nine-year-old girl anymore. You sound like a homicide detective.”
“I think that’s what I want to be.”
“I thought you wanted to be a movie star.”
Shelley frowned for a moment. “Maybe I’ll be a movie star who plays a homicide detective!”
“I’d rather you became a teacher.”
“Oh, Mom,” Shelley said in what Nicole feared would become a frequent teenage whine. Then she brightened, running toward the white rosebud in a bud vase on Nicole’s dresser. “Mommy, how pretty!”
“Yes, it is.”
“Is it from Sergeant DeSoto?”
“Honey, it’s time for us to be going.”
“You didn’t answer—”
“No, it isn’t from Ray.”
“Ray?”
“Sergeant DeSoto.”
“Then who’s it from?”
Nicole adjusted her right earring and stuck a pack of tissues in her purse. “I don’t know.”
Shelley studied the rose, then her mother’s face. “I think you do know but you don’t want to tell me,” she said impishly.
Nicole didn’t answer because the child was exactly right.
3
Nicole’s campus office seemed strange to her, a place she hadn’t occupied for months instead of just a week. When she opened her door, she found a cheerful card from Miguel under her door. How thoughtful of him, she mused as she spooned grounds into the coffeemaker. Her first class wasn’t for forty-five minutes, so as the coffee brewed, she sat down at her desk and began sorting through the mail that had collected during the week.
Five minutes later the phone rang. “Hey, teach, how’s it going?” a cheerful voice rang in her ear.
“Carmen, how nice to hear from you. What’s up?”
“I’d like to invite you out to dinner tonight.”
“At your house?”
“No. I said ‘out.’ That’s not ‘out’ to me. Let’s go somewhere fun on the River Walk.”
Nicole smiled. Considerate Carmen, knowing that her first day back at school would be hard on her and how much she loved the River Walk. “That sounds great. But were you thinking of including Shelley and Jill? If so, we can only have one drink each, watch our language, and act mature.”
“But we want to have fun, so of course we’re not taking the girls. I thought Shelley could spend the night with Jill. She’d like that, wouldn’t she?”
“She’d love it! Jill’s just two months away from being a bona fide teenager.”
“Then why don’t you drop her by the house around six? Bobby will baby-sit. He even volunteered to drive each of them to school in the morning.”
“But Shelley’s school is so far out of his way.”
“He says he doesn’t mind. You can meet me at the store.”
“It’s a date.”
“My, you seem to be recovering from tragedy easily.”
Nicole put down the receiver as she watched Avis Simon-Smith lounge in the doorway. “Hello, Avis. As for my recovery, it may not be as easy as it looks, but I’m making progress.”
“And dates,” Avis said coyly.
“Only with my best friend of almost thirty years.” Avis kept looking at her, smirking maddeningly. Nicole had never been around anyone who made her so edgy, but she always tried to be friendly to the woman who seemed to be a fixture in the department. “Thank you for taking over my class in my absence.”
“That’s me, the department workhorse.”
“I’m sorry you were so overworked,” Nicole said mildly. “Would you care for a cup of coffee?”
“Is that all I get for my week of hardship?”
Nicole stared at her long, homely face. “I had intended to send you flowers—”
“Flowers!” Avis nearly shrieked, sounding as if Nicole had said “snakes.” “God, do you want people to think we’re lesbians?”
Nicole gaped before Avis broke into loud, braying laughter. “Oh, put your eyes back in your head. It was a joke. Lord, no one around here would ever think you were a lesbian with all the attention you pay to the young male students.”
“I beg your pardon?” Nicole managed.
“Oh, forget it. No sense of humor. That’s what’s wrong with most of the people in this department.”
Two of these humorless people walked by and glanced at Avis, but no one stopped. I don’t blame you, Nicole thought. I wouldn’t want to get involved in this, either.
“Yes,” Avis said abruptly.
“What?”
Avis sighed. “You asked if I wanted coffee. Yes.”
“Fine. Do you take cream or sugar?”
“Both. I’ve never had to worry about keeping this girlish figure.”
“You’re lucky.”
“Lucky? Do you think I enjoy going through life looking like an anorectic?”
“You don’t look like an anorectic,” Nicole said, stirring Coffee-mate into the cup and wishing desperately the woman would leave.
“Nice try. That must be why people in the department like you so much. You’re always trying to be sweet. A regular ray of sunshine.”
Nicole handed Avis a cup and sat down behind her desk. “My mother would certainly disagree with you.”
“I guess you save your charm for your career.” Avis took a sip of coffee and wrinkled her sharp nose. “Too weak.”
Nicole automatically started to say “I’m sorry,” then stopped. If the coffee hadn’t been too weak, it would have been too strong or too sweet. Avis always found something wrong.
“As I was saying,�
�� Avis continued, ignoring Nicole’s silence, “you are the department sweetheart. Our beautiful young princess.”
“Avis, I hope you’re teasing,” Nicole said evenly. “Otherwise, I’m going to think you’re off your rocker.”
“Oh-ho!” Avis crowed. “A little venom bubbles to the surface.”
“Did you find that remark venomous? I thought I was teasing, just like you were.”
Avis set down her cup, sloshing coffee on Nicole’s desk. “But I haven’t been teasing.”
“Then you’ve gotten some wrong ideas somewhere. I’m certainly not the department princess. It sounds ridiculous for you to even make such a statement.”
Avis stood abruptly. “I have to go. I know you’re starting Melville today. I did an excellent job with the Hawthorne section. I hope you don’t make a mess of the one on Melville.”
“I’ll try to maintain your magnificent standards,” Nicole muttered dryly.
A moment later, while Nicole wiped up the coffee Avis had spilled, Nancy Silver stepped in. “Glad to see you’re back.”
“Thanks.”
“Nicole, I couldn’t help overhearing Avis.” She stepped into the office, her dark hair shining under the light. “She’s not well, you know.”
Nicole looked up, thinking of Kay. “You mean she’s ill?”
“Not physically. But she’s taken a lot of blows lately.”
“Tell me about it,” Nicole said bitterly. “I know how it feels.”
“But it’s different for you. You’re still young and beautiful and you have a child. Avis is all alone. No husband. No children. She had dreams of becoming a great scholar, but after a twenty-five-year career, she’s had only one book published over twenty years ago and just three articles since then. The book she’s been working on for five years has been rejected time after time.”
“That’s unfortunate but—”
“Just ignore her for a few more months, Nicole,” Nancy interrupted. “Next year she’s going on a much-needed sabbatical. We’re all hoping she can pull herself together and be the kind, sensible person she once was.”
“Yeah, let’s hope,” Nicole said without enthusiasm. Something told her that no amount of time off would soften Avis’s acrimony toward her, and after what she’d been through lately, she couldn’t work up sympathy for a woman who hated the world just because her books hadn’t been published. “I’m sorry, Nancy. I know you mean well, and Avis is fortunate to have you on her side, but I don’t feel like discussing her this morning. If I don’t hurry, I’ll be late for class.”
4
“Where are you and Aunt Carmen going to eat?” Shelley asked, dragging her tote bag into Nicole’s room.
“I’m not sure. I thought I’d let Carmen decide.”
“I don’t see why Jill and me can’t go.”
“Jill and I.” Nicole struggled into a new pair of jeans. “You can’t go because it’s a girls’ night out.”
She buttoned a long-sleeved beige blouse and stepped into black leather boots.
“Jill and I are girls.”
“Not grown-up girls.” Nicole added large gold hoop earrings.
“Gee, Mommy, you look like a teenager!”
Nicole bent and kissed Shelley on the forehead. “You are a dear, sweet child, and no, you cannot have a raise in your allowance and you cannot go tonight.”
“Shoot,” Shelley pouted. “Well, you still look young. As young as Lisa. And lots prettier.”
Nicole stopped primping and kneeled, taking Shelley in her arms. “Shel, can’t you try to like Lisa a little bit?”
“Why should I?”
“Because your daddy might marry her.”
Shelley groaned. “I can’t stand it if he does.”
“Yes you can. You have to give her a chance.”
Shelley thought this over. “Okay. I’ll be polite to her, but I won’t promise to like her.”
“I guess that’s all I can ask,” Nicole said, thinking it was probably more than she could manage.
Forty-five minutes later Nicole dropped Shelley and her tote bag off at the Vegas’ small adobe house. Bobby met them at the door, giving Nicole as cool a greeting as Jill’s was warm. He took the tote bag. “Hey, what’s in here, Shelley? Concrete blocks?”
“Just necessary items,” Shelley announced in her most adult voice. Nicole knew she was attempting to act as sophisticated as she found Jill, who was two years her elder and already wore pale pink lipstick.
Raoul Vega, Bobby’s father, appeared at the door wearing an old gray sweater, his thin hair bearing wet comb tracks. “Nicole!” he said joyously.
Surprised that he remembered her, Nicole smiled broadly. “Mr. Vega, how nice to see you.”
“And you, as always, are a vision. Isn’t she a vision, Bobby?”
“Yeah,” Bobby replied flatly.
“I hope the girls won’t be too much trouble tonight,” she said.
Raoul gave her a waggish look. “Girls? Trouble? Hah! I raised six of them.”
“Three,” Bobby corrected.
“Was it three? Seemed like six.” Raoul and Nicole laughed. Then, abruptly, Raoul’s wrinkled face seemed to blur, the eyes to shift focus slightly. “How’s that boyfriend of yours?”
“You mean my husband?”
“Did you marry him? The handsome one I made the cross for?” He clasped his hands together and looked at Bobby. “A beautiful cross set with turquoise and wings engraved on the back. Nicole said the wings were symbolic of inspiration.” He glanced back at Nicole. “Did he like the present?”
“He loved it,” Nicole said, her voice thickening as she remembered presenting Paul with the cross on his twenty-ninth birthday.
“Such a talented man,” Raoul continued. “A genius. He appreciated art.”
“Yes, well, I really have to be going.” Nicole turned quickly so they wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes as she remembered Paul opening the gift. It was that night he had proposed to her.
She drove faster than usual, blasting a Heart CD and singing “Crazy on You” at the top of her voice, until the image of Paul accepting the cross and proposing began to fade. So long ago, she kept telling herself. It didn’t matter anymore.
Except that it did. It always would.
“And you are a fool,” she said aloud over the music. “One minute you’re in tears over an old romantic memory of him, the next you think he’s stalking you for revenge. Roger would have a field day analyzing you.”
By the time she reached downtown San Antonio, she’d relaxed slightly. She parked in the Nation’s Bank Parking Building, ignoring a momentary flash of fear as she remembered all the scary movies she’d seen where women were attacked in parking buildings. But she wasn’t going to be careless. She parked on the first floor and had armed herself with Mace tucked in her blazer pocket so she could reach it easily.
Emerging from the building, she headed for the River Walk. Paseo del Rio, Clifton had taught her to say when she was little, the River Walk ran along the San Antonio River twenty feet below street level. The entire area was built between 1939 and 1941, preserving a horseshoe bend in the river that in the 1920’s city businessmen had wanted to cover with concrete and turn into a sewer. Wiser heads prevailed, and instead it had been converted into a wonderland that wound nearly two and a half miles through the heart of downtown San Antonio and had become one of the city’s main attractions.
Nicole hurried down the stone steps into what had always seemed to her a magical world. Immediately her spirits rose. How many hours had she spent here with Carmen when she was a teenager, prowling the shops, sitting in the sidewalk cafes, and meandering through art galleries? The whole area looked like a fairyland tonight with a thousand tiny lights strung through the trees, music pouring from the cafes and nightclubs, river boats ferrying people on forty-minute excursions, and dining boats serving dinner by candlelight.
I feel like a teenager again, Nicole thought, glad she’d dressed young. She
felt a stab of guilt for her light heart so soon after her father’s death. She wouldn’t comfort herself by saying, “This is what he would have wanted,” or trot out the popular cliché she hated, “You have to get on with your life.” For one evening she simply wanted to shake off her shock and devastation over her father’s death, her anger at Roger, and her sudden fear of Paul. Tonight she wanted to feel young and carefree.
Throngs of people passed by her as she walked to Vega’s. The CLOSED sign was up although lights burned and she could see Carmen moving around inside. She rushed to the door and let in Nicole. “You are ten minutes late!” she scolded in her slightly husky voice.
“Sorry. Traffic was heavy.”
Carmen’s dark eyes traveled over her. “I’d kill to fit into jeans like that.”
“I haven’t had much appetite lately or I couldn’t have done it, either.” She grinned. “I’m not even sure I’ll be able to get out of them without Shelley’s help. I may end up sleeping in them.”
“Well, I’m eating enough for both of us. Even Bobby is starting to complain,” Carmen said, slapping a substantial hip beneath loose brown slacks. “Too much of a good thing, he says.”
“I just saw him,” Nicole returned tartly. “It seems to me you might return the compliment.”
Carmen glanced at her almost in alarm. “I’d never criticize Bobby’s looks. You know how sensitive he is about them.”
“No, I didn’t know, but it seems to me turnabout is fair play. Why is it okay for him to comment on your weight but you can’t let him know he’s putting on a few pounds himself?”
“Bobby still sees himself as twenty.”
“And they say women are vain! Sometimes I think you’re too nice to him, Carmen. Oh, well, I’m starving. Where do you want to eat?”
“How about Tequila Charlie’s? I’d love one of their frozen margaritas, and I’d say at least one would improve your mood. First day back at school didn’t go so well?”
“With the exception of a visit from Avis Simon-Smith, it went beautifully.”
“Is she that nutty woman who gives you such a hard time?”
“Yes, and she was in rare form today. They say she’s going on sabbatical next year, but I bet she doesn’t make it. I think she’s on the verge of a breakdown.” Nicole smiled. “But don’t worry. I’m neither blue nor grouchy. In fact, I’m ready for some fun.”
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