“It’s not like you to be so kind,” he said.
“I know. It’s because I don’t have to deal with her. When we’re both back at work and she’s bugging me about my menus and making snide comments about the food I cook, then I’ll hate her, too. But until then, I can afford to be generous.”
“Maybe Walker will stay in charge of things. He might find he likes running the company.”
“I wish,” she said, “but my luck’s not that good. Besides, being in charge would mean sticking around. Walker doesn’t like to do that. It means risking getting involved.”
Reid stared at her. “What are you talking about? Walker left because it was his job.”
“And why did he go into the Marines in the first place?”
“To screw with Gloria.”
“I know that’s what everyone says, but I don’t believe it. I think there’s way more to the story. Walker has always held himself a little apart from everyone. Maybe this time will be good for him. Maybe Elissa will be good for him. I really liked her and Zoe.”
“They were all right.” Elissa had been pretty and easy to talk to, which he liked in women he wasn’t going to sleep with. Otherwise, conversation was a waste. “You’re wrong about Walker. He doesn’t hold back.”
“What do you know about him?” Penny asked. “What do you know about his dreams? His fears? His deepest, darkest desires?”
“We’re guys. We don’t talk about that stuff.”
“Exactly. You have me to talk to. Cal has me and Dani. Who does Walker have?”
“I don’t know. His buddies from the Marines?”
“Have you met any of them? Does he bring anyone around?”
He felt uncomfortable with the questioning. What was it about women and feelings? “Leave Walker alone. He’s fine.”
“He’s not, but I’m hoping he will be eventually.”
“THERE ARE MESSAGES!” Zoe said excitedly as Elissa climbed out of her car after work. “Me and Mrs. Ford listened to two of them when they called and there are even more.”
“That’s great,” she said as she closed the car door and bent down toward her daughter. “Don’t I get a hug?”
“Oh, Mommy.” Zoe hugged her quickly, then pulled on her hand. “Come on and listen.”
Elissa allowed herself to be dragged into the house. Sure enough, her normally quiet answering machine blinked excitedly. There were six messages and when Elissa played them back, they were all about ordering jewelry from her.
Apparently Dani and Penny had done more than just wear her creations, they’d talked about them. In the past ten days, Elissa had sold more than a dozen pieces and booked three at-home jewelry shows. If this kept up, she could actually start buying more expensive materials and open a savings account.
“You’re famous, Mommy!” Zoe said with delight. “Everyone knows your pretty work.”
“I guess so.”
The phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Elissa Towers, please,” said an unfamiliar female voice.
“This is Elissa.”
“Oh, hi. I’m Marcia Bentley and I’m in charge of booking people into the Labor Day Crafts Fair we have every year. Are you familiar with it?”
Was Marcia kidding? It was the biggest craft show in the state. Elissa had gone several times, mostly to get ideas, and she’d been overwhelmed by the variety and quality.
“Of course,” she said quickly. “It’s wonderful.”
“I’m glad you think so. One of my regulars has a family emergency and won’t be able to make it. I’ve heard so much about your work that I wanted to offer you her spot. It’s on one of the main aisles, very close to several food and drink vendors. Are you interested?”
Elissa sank onto a kitchen chair. Talk about a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. “Of course,” she said, barely able to speak from the shock of it all. “I’d love to be a part of the fair.”
“Good. If you’ll give me your address, I’ll get the contracts to you right away. You can sign them and send me back a check.”
Marcia filled in a few more details, then hung up with a promise to get the paperwork out that day.
When Elissa hung up, Zoe danced impatiently. “Who was that, Mommy?”
“A lady about the big Labor Day Craft Fair. She said I can have a booth.”
Zoe grinned. “That’s good, right?”
“It’s the best.”
Her daughter yelled with excitement, then ran through the open door in the kitchen to share the news with Mrs. Ford.
Elissa stayed in her seat and waited for her brain to stop spinning. This was incredible. Okay, yeah, the cost of the booth would set her back some, but she would more than make it up the first morning. Her biggest problem was inventory.
She got up and crossed to her workbench. Her finished jewelry was in boxes on an upper shelf. She would need several hundred pieces for that show—which meant hours and hours of work and using her emergency credit card to buy supplies, but it would be worth it. She could easily clear a couple thousand dollars and have enough money to pay off the bill when it arrived.
Talk about a lucky break. Or was it luck? Did Penny or Dani have anything to do with the invitation? Or Walker? She wouldn’t be surprised if it was him. This was exactly the sort of thing he would do.
She found herself wanting to share her good news with him, only he wasn’t home. These days he put in long hours at Buchanan Enterprises. She hadn’t seen him in nearly a week. She missed him. Funny, six weeks ago she’d barely known who he was. Now everything seemed to remind her of him.
Ever since she’d run away with Mitch and had ended up in Los Angeles, she’d accepted that her taste in men sucked. But now, with Walker in her life, she wondered if that had changed. Had she at last found a good one? A man she could trust to always be there for her?
Because that’s what she wanted—someone she could depend on to stick with her no matter what.
“YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THIS,” Elissa said stubbornly as she locked her front door. “You’re busy. Go run your company.”
“I’m coming,” Walker told her. “You don’t know what’s going to happen.”
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. “Bobby’s a kid.”
“He’s a guy and he’s eighteen. Anything could happen. You haven’t seen him in a long time. You don’t know anything about him.”
Walker had a point, if only a small one. “Fine. Waste your time pretending to be my bodyguard.”
“It’s my time to waste.”
He led the way to his SUV and held open the passenger door. Zoe and Mrs. Ford had gone to the local senior center for an afternoon of scrapbooking. It was Bring Your Grandchild day.
Elissa was silent until they reached the 405 freeway and headed south. She was meeting Bobby in a coffee shop by Southcenter Mall.
“It’s been a long time,” she said as she looked out the window. “I have no idea what he’ll look like. I was seventeen when I left. He was just a kid. He’ll be practically grown-up by now.”
“You can’t change the past,” Walker told her. “Regrets are a meaningless waste of time.”
“So you never have them?”
“I try not to.”
She was pretty sure everyone had regrets, whether about things done or left undone. If she’d known then what she knew now…
“I’m glad you came along,” she told him. “I don’t think Bobby is dangerous, but it’s nice to have company.”
He gave her a smile that made her insides quiver. What was it about this man that made her want to rip off her clothes and have at it right here in the front seat?
Sure he was good-looking, but that had never moved her before. So why Walker? Was it his strength, both physical and emotional? The way he always seemed to know when she needed a good rescuing? And speaking of that, when, exactly, had she lost the ability to get by on her own?
He mentioned something about one of the restaurants and they talked
about work until he pulled up in the parking lot. Suddenly her stomach hurt and she wasn’t sure she could catch her breath.
“I’ve done my best not to think about my family for over five years,” she whispered. “Now that’s not possible. Do you think he’ll recognize me?”
“Have you changed much?”
She shook her head. “My hair is shorter. I used to wear it nearly to my waist. But that’s the only real difference. Well, I’m older, but let’s not talk about that.”
She opened the passenger door and stepped into the parking lot. No strange young men lurked there, so she followed Walker inside.
There was a tall, nice-looking teenager in the foyer. Elissa smiled absently at him, then turned away. It was only his gasp of surprise that had her looking back at him.
“Bobby?” she asked, unable to believe this tall, broad-shouldered kid was her skinny little brother.
“Hey, Elissa.” He tried to smile, but couldn’t quite make it happen. “How are you?”
“Shocked. Wow—you’re so grown-up.”
His eyes were the same, she thought in amazement. So was his mouth. But his hair was darker and longer, and he was so big. Suddenly she was grateful to have Walker along.
She didn’t know if she should hug him or shake hands. Neither seemed right so she settled for introducing Walker.
Bobby’s eyes widened. “I never thought you’d get married.”
“What? No. We’re just friends. Walker’s here for moral support.”
Just then the hostess walked up and asked if they would like a table. Elissa asked for a quiet one and they were led to a booth in the back. She slid in first, then Walker sat next to her. Bobby was across from them.
The waitress appeared promptly. Bobby got a soda, while she and Walker asked for coffee. When they were alone, Elissa leaned toward her baby brother and studied his face.
“You look so different,” she said.
“You don’t,” he told her. “Just prettier.”
“Very smooth.”
He shrugged. “I mean it. I’ve wondered about you. Ever since you called, I couldn’t stop thinking about you and wondering how you are. I c-couldn’t…”
Elissa was stunned when his voice cracked and tears filled his eyes.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “Elissa, I’m so sorry. I never meant to hurt you. I was just so mad. When you left…”
“You didn’t hurt me,” she said, not sure why he was so upset. “I’m the one who ran away.”
“I know…It’s just…” He gulped the glass of water the waitress had left. “You know how they always were. With me, I mean.”
She nodded, feeling more confused than anything else. “They loved both of us, Bobby. You had the added advantages of being the boy and being hard-won, but I know they cared about me.”
At least, they had. Before she’d run off and they’d turned their backs on her.
Once again she wondered—would it have made a difference if they’d known she was pregnant? Would they have reconsidered? She was torn between wanting to understand their position and her anger at parents who would leave a child alone on the streets.
“They did care,” he said earnestly. “I swear, Elissa. When you ran off, they went crazy. Mom cried for weeks. We put up flyers and offered a reward.”
She winced. This shouldn’t surprise her, yet it did and she felt more than a little guilty for what she’d put them through.
“I didn’t know.”
“It was bad,” he said. “Dad wouldn’t talk and Mom kind of lost it. She went away for a rest. I don’t know what really happened. When she came back, everything was different.”
Went away? Meaning what? A breakdown? Elissa didn’t know what to think.
“If they were that upset, why didn’t they want to talk to me when I called?”
“It wasn’t like that. Oh, God…” Bobby brushed his hands over his eyes and stared at her. “Elissa, I’m the one. It’s my fault. I never told them you called. When I said I’d talk to them, I lied. I didn’t say anything. I’m sorry,” he added quickly. “I was mad because it was like I didn’t exist anymore. I hated you for what you’d done. But later, I kept thinking about you, all alone, and how you’d wanted to come home and I was the reason you hadn’t.”
Tears poured down his cheeks now. Elissa didn’t know what to think. He hadn’t ever spoken to her parents? They hadn’t known she called? Maybe, just maybe, they hadn’t rejected her.
She felt as if the world had shifted on its axis. All these years she’d alternated between hating her parents and vowing she would show them that she was more than capable, that she had never needed them for anything. All the struggling. Living in the halfway house while getting bigger and bigger with Zoe. Barely making it year after year.
Rage filled her, chilling her body and making it impossible to accept or forgive.
“I was pregnant,” she said flatly. “When I called about coming home, I was pregnant, alone, broke and terrified.”
Bobby dropped his head and began to sob. “Elissa, I’m s-sorry.”
Sorry? He’d changed her life forever and he was sorry? She wanted him punished. She wanted him thrown out and forced to survive the way she had. She wanted blood and…
Walker took her hand in his and squeezed her fingers. “How old was he?” he asked.
Four words. Four simple words that put her world back in place and allowed reason to filter into her brain.
“Thirteen,” she said quietly. “Just thirteen.”
Thirteen and angry and stupid, she thought as Bobby continued to cry. An angry, stupid boy who had also had massive changes in his life.
She didn’t want to understand. She hated that she could see his side of things, but she did. Which meant she couldn’t hate him.
Oh, but she hurt inside.
“Do they know now?” she asked.
He shook his head. “I c-couldn’t say anything. I felt so bad about what I did, plus I thought it would hurt them more. They would know they’d missed their chance with you and it was all my fault.”
That sounded a whole lot more like he was covering his own ass than worried about his family.
“I didn’t tell them I’d found you,” he continued. “I didn’t know if you’d want me to.”
Her parents hadn’t rejected her. Her parents didn’t hate her. Maybe they never had. She felt tears in her eyes and a crazy desire to be in her mother’s arms. She wanted to be little again and never grow up.
Nothing was as she thought. All the decisions she’d made were based on something that might not be true.
“I worked all summer so I could hire a detective,” Bobby said, raising his head slightly and looking at her. “I wanted to find you and tell you the truth.”
He looked young and scared—two things she could relate to.
“Are you going to talk to them?” he asked. “They still miss you, Elissa. They don’t talk about you much, but your pictures are everywhere and at Christmas, they always fill your stocking.”
A couple of tears escaped and ran down her cheeks. Walker’s strong hand gave her something to hold on to and she squeezed his fingers as hard as she could.
She remembered her stocking. She’d made one for Zoe that looked just like it.
“My mom’s the one who taught me to sew,” she told Walker. “She could make anything.”
“She would be impressed with what you’re doing now,” he told her.
Maybe, she thought, considering the possibility for the first time. How odd. Nearly as strange as thinking she might not be alone in the world anymore. That she might have people she could lean on.
Just then the waitress appeared with their drinks. She set them down without saying anything and hurried away. No doubt the display of emotion made her uncomfortable. Elissa knew she wouldn’t want to be serving this table.
“What are you going to do?” Bobby asked tentatively. “Do you want me to tell them?”
“
No,” she said slowly as she wiped away the tears. “I need time to think about all this. I guess I’ll go by and see them.” Should she do that? Should she call first? Dropping in on them didn’t seem right, but she wasn’t sure she could figure out what to say on the phone.
“Can you tell me when?” Bobby asked. “I want to be there to tell them what happened. I’m ready for them to know what I did.”
There was something in the way he said the words that made her think he meant it. Part of her crowed that it was about time, while another part of her appreciated his willingness to grow up and accept the consequences.
“Sure,” she said. “I have your cell number. I’ll give you a heads-up when I’m ready to make an appearance.”
He nodded, then swallowed. “I know you hate me, Elissa. I deserve that. But I hope, eventually, we can, you know, be close again.”
“I don’t hate you,” she said reluctantly. “I’m not happy about what you did, but I can almost understand it.”
Tears filled his eyes again. “Thanks. I, ah, wondered. Did you keep the kid?”
For the first time since walking into the diner, she smiled. “Yes, I did. Her name is Zoe. She’s five. Which I guess means you’re an uncle.”
Bobby brightened at the thought. “Yeah? Cool. Can I meet her sometime?”
“Sure.”
Suddenly she felt as if she’d run a marathon. Her body ached and she couldn’t seem to catch her breath. She dug ten dollars out of her jeans’ front pocket and tossed it on the table.
“We have to go,” she told her brother as she released Walker’s hand and slid out of the booth. “I’ll be in touch.”
Bobby scrambled to his feet where he topped her by at least six inches. “You promise?”
She nodded.
He leaned forward and wrapped his arms around her. She resisted the embrace for three heartbeats, then hugged him back.
Walker was silent on the way to the car.
“You have to tell me what you’re thinking,” Elissa said. “I can’t read your mind.”
“I want to beat the crap out of him.”
“I’d probably have to stop you, but I appreciate the support.”
Susan Mallery Bundle: The Buchanans Page 66