“Natalie got scared and ran home. I was scared, too, but we weren’t stupid and those boys were wrong. Sometimes they boss other kids around. I don’t like it.”
The boy had to be at least two or three years older than Zoe, but she’d been fearless. So what was the lesson? Did he tell her that it was good to stand up for herself, but then she had to face the consequences? Was it better to warn her to play it safe?
He stared into her big eyes and didn’t have a clue. How the hell did Elissa always know the right thing to say?
He wanted to be anywhere but here. Still, he stayed. Right now he was all Zoe had. He would face all the demons for her, real or imagined, and survive.
She held out her arms and looked expectant.
“What?” he asked.
“You need to give me a hug and then kiss it all better.”
Feeling both stupid and awkward, Walker wrapped his arms around her. He was careful not to squeeze too hard. Then he kissed the bandages.
When he was done, Zoe smiled. “Want to go to a movie? We could go to the mall and have lunch at the food court, and go shopping and go to a movie.”
It was his idea of the seventh level of hell. But who was he to refuse a five-year-old girl with the heart of a warrior?
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
AFTER THE FAIR CLOSED on Monday, Elissa packed up the last of her supplies and carried them to Walker’s SUV. One of the guys in a neighboring booth had helped her with the tables she’d rented.
“See you next year,” he called as she climbed into the driver’s side.
“Sure. Congratulations.”
She waved, then closed the door and started the engine.
Home, she thought wearily. She just wanted to be home. Home where she could be quiet and finally think. Or maybe not think. Maybe what she needed was to sleep.
Because she hadn’t the night before. Long after she’d gone to bed, she’d lain awake in the dark, staring at the ceiling, wondering what to do about Neil.
He hadn’t said how long he was going to be in Seattle, but she didn’t think he would make the trip for just a few nights of work. Which meant weeks, maybe even a month in the area. He could show up at any time, demanding more money, insisting she pay or he would want to see Zoe.
Her stomach clenched at the thought. Zoe thought her father was dead and that was better for everyone. But if things got ugly, Elissa could find herself having to tell Zoe about Neil—and she would do nearly anything to avoid that.
The fear grew until it was hard to think about anything else. She briefly considered running—packing up a few suitcases, grabbing Zoe and going. But where? And what would happen when they got there? Unless she figured out how to get a fake name and identification, Neil would eventually find her. How would she explain the situation to Zoe? Plus she hated the idea of running—it was too much like letting him win.
The most logical solution was to go to a lawyer. Something she should have done years ago. Neil was not a good influence for a small child. Surely the courts would see that. If she could work out a deal, pay Neil off and get him to sign a release of some kind, that would be the best solution. Only what would motivate him? She didn’t have enough money to give him a lump sum large enough to satisfy him.
A loan, she thought. Not from a bank, but maybe her parents or Frank. Even with her and her mother at odds, surely her parents would help her keep Zoe. Walker had the cash, but she wasn’t comfortable discussing Neil with him. Besides, she wasn’t sure any of them would approve of her decision to pay a drug addict to stay away from his child. What if they wanted her to be more reasonable, to let Neil have the chance to prove himself as a good father? Neil was a great manipulator. He’d had a lifetime of practice, using people. What if he convinced them he deserved a chance?
She eased the large SUV into the driveway and put it in park. Walker stepped out of her apartment and crossed toward her.
It was almost dark and he appeared to be more shadow than man. Yet she felt drawn to him. She wanted to jump out of the SUV and throw herself into his arms. She wanted to confess everything and have him hold her and tell her it was going to be all right. She’d been on her own for eight years and she was tired of being the only one responsible.
“Good day?” he asked, moving to the rear of the vehicle and opening the hatch. “Make millions?”
She managed a smile. “Close. We were busy right up to the end. I sold nearly everything I had.”
“Good for you. Are you tired?”
She nodded. Bone weary, and for reasons she realized she wasn’t going to explain. She might be able to handle a lot in her life, but she couldn’t face Walker looking at her with pity or scorn. Only an idiot would have gotten involved with Neil in the first place and only a fool would keep on paying him now.
He collected her few remaining boxes of supplies, then closed the back. “I’ll return the tables in the morning.”
“You don’t have to do that. I was going to take them in after work.” Which would have meant borrowing his SUV again.
“It’s on my way to work. Don’t sweat it.”
She’d prepaid for the tables, so that wasn’t a problem. “Okay. Thanks. They have a deposit check they’ll return.”
He followed her into her apartment and set the boxes on her worktable.
“How was Zoe?” she asked.
“Good. She went to bed right on time and was asleep in thirty seconds. We went to the mall, saw a movie, then had dinner at the food court.”
Somehow Walker didn’t strike her as the mall type. “Was it horrible?”
“I survived.”
She winced. “Why do I know the movie was pure torture?”
“At least it was short.”
They stood on opposite sides of the sofa. The last time they’d been alone in her apartment, they’d been making love. Everything was different now. Not only weren’t they alone—even though Zoe was in bed asleep—she felt as if their intimate experience had happened to someone else.
Even as her body cried out for him, her brain knew that getting involved—more involved—was dangerous. Not only for her own sense of self-preservation, but because having Neil around changed everything. If Walker knew about him, he would, in typical macho guy fashion, want to fix the problem. That could only lead to trouble.
While she didn’t doubt Walker could take care of himself in a fair fight, Neil was never fair. No, telling Walker about her problems with her ex would definitely mean trouble.
Before she could figure out a polite way to ask him to leave, he gestured for her to take a seat on the sofa. Given all he’d done for her, she owed him at least that. So she would talk for a while, then claim tiredness and get him out of here.
“I’m glad your booth was a success,” he said. “Does that mean you’ll get asked back next year?”
“I hope so. I liked watching people look at my designs. I could ask them questions and figure out what was selling best and why.” She glanced at him. “Your entire family came by. That was really nice of them. They certainly didn’t have to, but I appreciated the support.”
“They like you,” he said, then exhaled slowly. “Dani found out Ryan’s married.”
That got her attention. “What? Are you kidding?”
He shook his head. “His wife came by the restaurant yesterday. He’d never said a word about her. There’s a kid, too.”
Betrayal was never easy, she thought sadly. “How’s Dani holding up?”
“She’s tough. She’ll get through it. But having this happen only a couple of months after Hugh walked out on her and then turned up a cheater isn’t helping.”
Apparently Elissa wasn’t the only one with sucky taste in men. “Tell her I’m thinking of starting a club for women who’ve given up on men.”
His gaze snapped to her face. “I will.”
She realized what she’d said and wasn’t sure how to recover. “It’s just, before you…I’ve had issues. You know. In the past,
I mean.”
He nodded without speaking. Silence filled the room. At last he said, “Something’s wrong. What happened?”
“Nothing. I’m fine. Beyond tired. This was a tough three days, but really worth it.”
His gaze didn’t waver. He studied her with an intensity that made her shift on the sofa.
“I’m fine,” she repeated firmly.
“There’s something. I can see it in your eyes.”
“You’re wrong. Let it go.”
Walker knew he probably should. She’d made it more than clear she wasn’t interested in telling him. But she looked…defeated. He’d never seen that in her before. Everything about her was tough and capable. What could have brought that on?
“Were you robbed?” he asked sharply.
“What? No. Of course not.” She pulled a wad of bills out of her jeans pocket. “I made a ton of money.”
“Did your mother stop by and harass you about Zoe?”
She actually rolled her eyes. “Will you stop? I’m good.”
She wasn’t. The more she protested, the more he was sure.
“Elissa, I can help.”
“You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
He wasn’t sure. His gut told him there was something serious at stake. That her defeat had come from a place of fear. But who could scare her and why? If she—
She slid across the sofa and straddled him. Before he could react, she put her hands on his shoulders and kissed him.
Her mouth was hot and aggressive. Her tongue darted into his mouth, claiming, teasing, arousing. While his brain knew this was nothing more than a distraction, his body was willing to play the game.
Still, he fought the sudden rise of both his need and his erection right up until she grabbed his hands and placed them on her breasts.
The soft curves beckoned him. He found himself exploring them, squeezing gently, then moving his thumbs across her tight nipples. He dropped his hands to her waist, then moved them up again, under her T-shirt. After unfastening her bra, he returned to her breasts, this time touching bare skin.
She was hot and demanding, rubbing herself against his arousal, kissing him deeply, then pulling back to nip on his jaw and neck and ear. She jerked his T-shirt over his head, then pulled off her own. Then she rose up on her knees and leaned forward so her nipple brushed against his mouth.
He had no choice but to wrap his arms around her, holding her close as he sucked and licked. Wanting pulsed through him, burning him with its intensity. He moved to her other breast. She clasped his head and whispered for him to take her.
“I want you,” she breathed.
Then she was gone. She stood and walked across the living room without once looking back. But at the entrance to the hall, she paused and kicked off her sandals, then pushed off her jeans and panties. The invitation was clear.
In deference to a small child living in the house, Walker kept his jeans on until he reached Elissa’s bedroom. Then he shut the door and gazed at the naked woman waiting for him in bed.
She lay on her back, a condom dangling from one hand. Her smile of invitation was all he needed. He shed the rest of his clothes and joined her on the bed.
She slid the condom onto him, then pushed him onto his back.
“I want to be on top,” she told him. Once again she straddled him, only this time there weren’t any layers between them. As she eased down on him, he pushed inside of her.
He felt the heat and dampness of her body as he entered her. She slid down slowly, claiming him in an erotic dance that made his body surge. Her breasts hung tantalizingly in front of him. He reached for them and rubbed her nipples.
She closed her eyes and groaned. As she rose and fell on him, her body contracted around him. The position meant she controlled both speed and depth, which meant she could push him too close too fast.
“Slow down,” he breathed, wanting to make sure she was as far along.
But she ignored him. Up and down, taking him deeper and deeper, drawing him in, tightening around him. He started to lower his hands to her hips, to make her stop, but she cried out.
“Touch me,” she breathed.
He returned his hands to her breasts.
She moved faster and faster until he reached the point of no return. Until he had to give it up with a shuddering moan. Pleasure shot through him, as he pushed into her and came.
When he was finished, he opened his eyes. “Elissa?”
“That was great,” she said as she moved off of him. “I’ll sleep tonight.”
Would she? Or was that as much a lie as the sex had been. Because what she’d just done hadn’t been about connecting or even getting off. Not for her. It had been about distracting him. He’d been had.
She walked to her closet and pulled out a robe, then yawned broadly. “Thanks, Walker. I’d ask you to stay, but with Zoe and all.” She looked at her clock radio. “Wow, when did it get so late? You must be exhausted from your day. Don’t let me keep you.”
“I HAVE TWENTY-SEVEN hundred dollars,” Elissa told the female attorney sitting across from her, wishing she’d had that money five years ago and had taken care of this then. “I’m not kidding about that. When that’s gone, I’m lucky to scrape together twenty-five dollars a week.”
Sally Chasley smiled. “Don’t worry, Elissa. We charge fees on a sliding scale basis. Right now the most important issue is dealing with your problem. You said you’re being harassed by your ex-husband.”
“No. Neil and I were never married. We were living together, with me paying for everything. He uses drugs, sometimes heavily. It gets expensive. Anyway, I got pregnant and he wanted me to have an abortion. I refused and I left.” Ran was more like it, Elissa thought grimly. She’d run for her life and Zoe’s.
“And then?” Sally prompted. “Did you get in touch with him after the baby was born?”
Elissa shook her head. “I saved money until I had enough for a bus ticket, then I came here.”
Sally frowned. “You didn’t discuss the baby with Neil? You didn’t talk to him about child support or getting involved in his daughter’s life?”
“I told you, Neil wanted me to have an abortion.”
“I know, but a lot of men panic at the thought of a baby. Especially a first child. But once that child is born, many of them change their minds. They want to be fathers.”
“Neil is only interested in his next fix.”
“Has he physically threatened you?”
Elissa didn’t like the direction of the conversation. “He beat me up when he found out I was pregnant.” Would that be enough? “He finds me and demands money. If I don’t pay him, he says he’s going to insist on being in Zoe’s life. Isn’t that extortion or something?”
Sally sighed. “Elissa, the law takes the rights of both parents seriously. Neil reacted badly one time. He hit you one time. It happens.”
Elissa couldn’t believe that. “How many times does he get to hit me before it’s not okay? What about his chronic drug use? I don’t want Zoe exposed to that.”
“Nor should she be. However, Neil still has the right to see his child. You could make a case for supervised visits. He would have to earn your and her trust.”
“I’ll never trust him,” she said flatly. “He doesn’t care about Zoe. He’s using her to get money from me.”
“You’re letting him,” Sally told her. “Stop paying. If what you’re saying is true, he’ll go away. If he pursues his parental rights, then perhaps you’re misjudging him. The bottom line is you can’t prevent a parent from seeing his or her children without cause. Not liking him isn’t sufficient grounds.”
It was her worst nightmare come true, she thought bitterly. No doubt the very sensible and clueless Sally would refuse to help her draft documents offering Neil a large sum of cash to relinquish his rights as a father.
“Thank you for your time,” Elissa said and stood. “If you’ll just tell me your hourly fee, I’ll pay you fo
r your time.”
“Elissa, don’t go. Let’s talk about this more.”
“I don’t have anything else to say.”
ELISSA DROVE HOME Thursday after work feeling as if she’d been drop-kicked off a cliff. Both her body and her spirit ached and she suspected she only had herself to blame.
The meeting with the lawyer had been a disaster. Sally had offered nothing constructive. The idea that Neil was actually interested in Zoe was beyond stupid and it terrified her that a reasonably intelligent professional would even consider it. Did that mean the courts would lean that way, as well? If push came to shove, could Neil get visitation rights?
If only he would go away for a few years, she thought. He was known to disappear for months at a time, but she didn’t think she was going to get that lucky. Him finding her at the craft fair meant he suspected she had resources and therefore cash. If anything, his appearances might become more frequent.
She pulled up in front of her apartment and climbed out of her car. Zoe came running toward her.
“Mommy, Mommy, I love school so much!! We made a little book about our summer and I brought mine home to show you. And I brought my lunch today but tomorrow is tacos. Is that okay? Can I buy lunch tomorrow?”
“Of course.”
Her daughter flung herself at her. Elissa caught her and held her close. Okay, whatever else might be screwed up in her life, Zoe was exactly right. She was worth any price, any hardship and there was no way in hell Neil was getting his hands on her.
“So you had a good day, huh?” Elissa asked as they walked toward the apartment. “Were you good for Mrs. Ford?”
“Oh, she’s not here,” Zoe said happily. “She’s playing bridge. Walker is with me.”
Elissa stopped on the bottom step of her small porch. Shame and embarrassment rose up inside of her. Her face burned, her throat got tight and she wanted to curl up in a ball and disappear.
She hadn’t seen him since Monday night when she’d used sex to shut him up and get him out of the apartment.
After he’d left, she’d felt awful. Cheap and mean and disgusting. Seven years ago, she’d used her body to get a job after she and Mitch broke up and afterward, she’d felt so horrified with herself she’d vowed to never do anything like that again. But when backed into a corner, she’d taken the easy way out.
Susan Mallery Bundle: The Buchanans Page 75