I put the card in the holder, then picked up my phone and took a picture of the arrangement. I pulled the card back out - because it wouldn’t do for anyone from the office to read it - then wrote the date on the back and returned it to its envelope before sliding the card into my wallet, nestled against yesterday’s note.
Then I unlocked my office door and left it open, indicating I was available, and got started on organizing Jack’s calendar.
Right before lunch I was at my desk, chronologically sorting a large pile of missives I had spent most of the morning gathering from various places around Jack’s office. Each sheet indicated an appointment or deadline of some sort and there were handwritten notes jotted on most of them, adding additional information.
Nate was sitting at a table in Jack’s office, working on his laptop and Jack was spending his time making and returning phone calls and reading emails. Occasionally my email would ding a notification and I would find another appointment, forwarded from Jack. The last email I opened, before things went crazy, was a company-wide directive in which Jack informed one and all it was now mandatory that I be copied on all further emails sent to him, regardless of the subject. Confidentiality ensured. My email notification started dinging so often that I had to disable it.
I got up and walked to Jack’s office. “Thanks a lot,” I said sarcastically.
Jack laughed and Nate looked up, puzzled. “Just find some way to get me the information that actually requires my attention and handle the rest of them yourself. I swear I waste half my day on petty emails.”
“So, what? I’m the Human Resources department now?”
“Better you than me,” he said, standing up and looking at me and Nate. “Let’s go to lunch.”
“Sounds good.” Nate closed his laptop then stood up and stretched. “I’m starving.”
“You guys go ahead,” I said. “I brought my lunch. Besides, I want to get all those appointments entered into Outlook. Then I’ll have the time this afternoon to start looking at the payables reports.”
“So industrious,” said Jack with a wink.
“Gotta start earning that big paycheck,” I said, giving an exaggerated wink back.
Nate laughed and Jack was smiling as he said, “Okay. See you in about an hour then.”
By the time they returned, I had emailed Jack twenty-three appointments. All he had to do was open the email and they would be added to his own calendar.
“Whoa!” he exclaimed after unlocking his computer and seeing the long line of emails from me. “That’s a little intimidating.”
Nate walked around Jack’s desk to look. “Holy crap, that’s a lot of appointments!”
“It’s not as bad as it looks,” I assured him, not telling him he didn’t have them all yet. “They’re pretty spread out. It only looks bad because you got them all at once. In the future, they’ll come in more slowly. At least I hope so.”
Jack opened the first one and added it to his calendar. Then he looked up at me and smiled. “That’s awesome. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. And now I’m going to make another pot of coffee, so help yourself if you want any, and then I’ll get started on seeing if I can find anything that looks suspicious in the payables reports.”
“Oh, that reminds me,” Jack said. “I need full names, addresses and social security numbers for Heather, Frank, and Marla. I told Finn I would have them for him by tomorrow so he can do some checking for me.”
I promised to have them for him by the end of the day and got started on my auditing task. I wasted a great deal of time trying to figure out how to run a simple report in the unfamiliar payables program while Jack and Nate were in and out, doing whatever it was that Jack and Nate did.
It was late in the afternoon before I managed, after a great deal of frustration and muttered cursing, to put together something I could work with. By adding various filters to the report, I had managed to whittle down my original attempt of 1200 pages down to 60 – listing only those invoices that totaled over $10,000 and were paid in the last two years.
I was frowning at the screen as I sent the report to print and looked up to see Jack, leaning forward at his desk and looking at me. I smiled and waved. He returned the wave then blew me a kiss before laughing and sitting back again, out of my view.
I smiled and shook my head. That boy was goofy as hell - and I loved that about him. Still smiling, I got to work on getting him the information I had promised before I ran out of time.
At 5:00, I was standing in front of my desk, deciding whether I wanted to take that report home with me or not, when Nate entered my office from the outside corridor. He leaned against the door with his arms crossed over his chest and asked me if I had plans for the evening. I opened my mouth to reply and was distracted by the sudden appearance of Marla, walking past my door. She slowed down, caught my eye, and shook her head vigorously while wagging a finger at me. Then she was gone.
I looked down at my shoes and bit into my lower lip, trying to suppress a giggle at this side of Marla I had never seen before. I got myself under control and looked back up at Nate. “Sorry, I was distracted for a minute. And, yes – I’m having dinner with my parents tonight. Are you and Jack doing anything interesting?”
“I don’t know.” He moved in to the office and shouted across the room. “Jack! Are we doing anything interesting tonight?”
Jack appeared in the doorway. “Why? Are you offering to make us dinner?” he asked me.
“Not me,” I said. “I have plans with my parents.”
“Oh, that’s too bad. I could really use some meatloaf right about now,” he said with a frown, resting a hand on his stomach.
“I guess you’ll have to get your meatloaf needs taken care of somewhere else. My kitchen is closed tonight.”
He turned his frown to Nate. “Well, asking my mom is out. She’s a good cook, but meatloaf is the one thing she just can’t seem to get right.” Then, swiveling his head back to me, he added, “Don’t tell her I said that.”
I laughed at his worried expression and promised to keep that to myself. I gathered up my things, including the report which I thought I might have time for later, while they discussed their options.
“Okay, I’m out of here,” I said.
“Oh, that reminds me,” Jack said, his hand going to the inside pocket of his jacket. “Here’s your key.” He handed me a key, attached to rectangular black key chain with my name embossed in neon pink script across the front of it.
“How cute!” I said, touched again in that strange way at the thought of him in a store, thinking of me while he made his selection. I immediately hooked it on to my current key chain. “I guess I’ll have some trouble losing that. Thank you.”
“You’re welcome. Have fun tonight.”
“I will and you guys do the same.” I looked at them pointedly then turned off the light in my office.
They both laughed and Nate said, “Well, I can take a hint. Goodnight, Angie.”
“Night, Nate. See ya, Jack.”
“See ya, Ange.”
They headed back to Jack’s office and I headed to the gym.
Chapter 17
I stepped into the foyer of my parents’ house at exactly 6:30. “Hi, Mom. I’m in your house!” I called out.
My dad came out of the living room and spread his arms. “How about ‘Hi, Dad’?”
“Hi, Dad,” I said with a smile and moved into his open arms.
“Hi, sweetheart.” He gave me a tight squeeze and kissed my forehead before letting me go. “Come on. Your mom made chicken enchiladas and I’m starving.”
I followed him to the kitchen smiling at how alike most men were. Always hungry. For one thing or another.
“Hi, Mom,” I said, giving her a hug. “That smells delicious.”
“Yes, I know. I’ve been fighting for the last half hour to keep your father out of it.” She pulled away and gestured at the kitchen table. “Have a seat and let’s get hi
m fed.” She winked at my dad, who winked back, and we all sat down to eat.
It had only been a couple of days since I had seen them last, but it seemed like longer and we had a lot to discuss while we ate. As usual with my parents, they wanted to talk about me, not themselves. So we talked about my job, and the shelves for my bedroom and my win at the casino before my mother brought up Nate’s name.
“So, tell me more about Nate.” She pushed her empty plate out of the way and propped her chin on a fist. For my mother, who was very careful to never jump uninvited into my business, that statement practically constituted prying.
“Not really much to tell.” I shrugged. “He’s a nice guy and all and I like him. But someone pointed out to me today that he’s not quite right for me, and I think they may have a point.”
My mom and dad exchanged a glance that I couldn’t interpret and my dad asked, “Is it because he lives in another state?”
“Well, there’s that. He has two kids that are really important to him, so I doubt he’d ever move here – and I don’t have any interest in moving there.”
“Thank God,” said my mom as she got up to pour coffee. “I’d hate to have to drag your father to Ohio this late in the game.”
We laughed at that and I accepted the coffee she handed to me before she sat back down.
“Plus, he’s got some kind of unusual situation going on with his ex,” I confided. “He plays it like it’s the same kind of relationship Jack and I have – you know, strictly platonic – but, still, the way he talks about her, I get the impression he has feelings for her that he’s not admitting, even to himself. And I think that’s the thing that’s really holding me back.”
“It’s good that you realize that now, before you got yourself involved and got hurt later.” This, surprisingly, was from my dad.
“And I know you wouldn’t do anything so dumb as to have a one-night stand with such a close friend of Jack’s,” my mom added.
My eyes bugged out at my mom. She had never said anything like that to me before and she said it with such conviction that I sat up and paid attention.
“No,” I said slowly. “But I’m not sure what his being a friend of Jack’s has to do with anything.”
“Oh, you know men – they get weird about stuff like that.” She looked at my dad and said, “No offense, honey.”
“None taken,” he said amiably and I laughed.
“Well, to be honest, Jack has been acting a little…different…this week – but it’s all very complicated and I don’t really want to get into it.”
“Okay, that’s fine,” said my mom. “It’s your business and I know you’ll do the right thing.” She finished off her coffee in one gigantic swallow and stood up. “Let’s get this kitchen cleaned up and then I’ll show you what I made for you.”
The three of us made quick work of the cleaning and my dad and I trailed behind as my mother led us into her craft room.
The rest of the house was spotless, but her craft room always looked like a creative bomb had exploded in it. Half-finished paper projects were on her work table, lying among assorted pens, inks and adhesives. Boxes of photos were stacked on another table, and various fabrics were piled haphazardly next to her sewing machine. It was her version of my closet.
“You’ve been busy,” I said, looking around as we entered the room.
“Yeah, I had a bit of a creative spurt on Sunday night and got carried away.” She walked over to her desk and reached behind it, pulling out a canvas that looked to be about 16 x 20. She turned it over and showed it to me. “What do you think?”
It was a picture of Jack and me, and I recognized it as being taken at his thirtieth birthday party. He is sitting sprawled in a chair and I am leaning in from behind, my head right next to his. My arms are around his neck and crossed at the wrist over his chest and one of his hands rests on top of mine. I am laughing into the camera and the picture was taken just as Jack turned his head and kissed my cheek.
My mom had converted the picture to black and white and blurred out the background so its entire focus was Jack and I, filling the canvas and exuding happiness. She had inked the edges in black, giving it a framed look, and I thought it was one of the most striking photographs I had ever seen.
“Oh, Mom,” I said, taking the canvas from her and examining it closely. “It’s just gorgeous. I love it!”
“I’m glad,” she said, coming around to my side, joining me and my dad as we admired the picture. “It was my first attempt at transferring a picture to canvas and I’ll admit I was pretty happy with the way it turned out.”
“You did a fantastic job. I can’t stop looking at it! It will be perfect over the couch in my living room, don’t you think?”
“That’s exactly what I was thinking. Your grey walls will really make it pop.” She took the canvas from me and studied it. Then she let out a long, almost melancholy sigh.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Oh, it’s nothing, really,” she said, shaking her head with another sigh and handing the canvas back to me.
“No, tell me,” I insisted.
“Well…it’s just that the two of you look so happy in that picture and it makes me sad to think of the day when you won’t be together like that anymore.”
“What do you mean? Why wouldn’t we be?”
“Oh, Angie. Life moves on and things change. You know that. Think of the friends you were so close to in high school and college. Are you still as close as you used to be?”
I thought of those friends – the friends I had loved and spent all of my days with. We had shared every detail of our lives - exchanging confidences, laughing together when things were good and crying together when they weren’t. They had all been so important to me but, in a slow process of changing priorities, we had drifted apart as they moved away, or got married and started families. I remembered feeling depressed one day not too long ago as I looked at the pictures they posted on Facebook, realizing I no longer knew anything but the most superficial things about their lives.
But that couldn’t happen with Jack. He would always be an integral part of my life. I just couldn’t – and wouldn’t - imagine it any other way. Or the horror of one day being relegated to the position of Facebook friend - while his real life went on without me.
“No, we’re not close anymore,” I answered my mom. “But it’s different with Jack.”
“Yes, it’s different, but you have to understand it will end the same way. One or both of you will get married and then you’ll have spouses to deal with. Let’s face it – you and Jack are both attractive people and neither your husband, nor his wife, will be happy with the relationship you two have. So Jack, in order to keep the peace with his wife, will start putting distance between you – or you’ll do the same to make your husband happy. Then, before you know it, you’ll realize it’s been ten years since you last saw him.”
I sucked in an audible breath at that distressing thought. “No,” I protested again, although I had a sinking feeling she was right. I had already been subjected to that kind of unwarranted jealousy with men I had only been casually dating. They didn’t trust my relationship with Jack and said so – and more than once that had annoyed me enough to stop seeing them.
“Yes, honey,” my mom said gently. “I can almost guarantee it will happen. Your dad had that exact same situation with a girl he grew up with. Didn’t you, Mike?”
My dad looked startled and cleared his throat. “Well, yes, but it was a long time ago.”
“What happened?” I asked, curious about this unknown part of my dad’s history.
He shot a small glare at my mother, who raised her eyebrows in response. He seemed upset that she had revealed something that maybe he would prefer to keep secret, but he answered my question easily enough.
“It was like your mother said. Sarah and I grew up next door to each other and we were best friends practically from the time we could walk. We spent every day of our chi
ldhood together and that continued through high school and college. We were just friends, never anything more, but we were like this,” he said, crossing his index and middle finger together tightly and holding them up. “You know, like you and Jack.”
“So what happened? I’ve never heard you mention her before,” I said.
“Well, yeah, that’s kind of the point. We both got married to other people and that was pretty much the end of our friendship. I haven’t seen or heard from her in at least twenty years.”
“Oh my God,” I gasped, full of sorrow for my dad’s lost friendship. I turned to my mother. “Was it because you didn’t like their relationship?”
“God, no!” she exclaimed. “Just shoot me if I’m ever that insecure. No, it was her husband. He did not like your father. At all. He made Sarah’s life miserable to the point she stopped even talking to your dad on the phone because it upset her husband so much.”
“I’m so sorry, Dad. That must have really hurt you.”
“Thank you, sweetheart, but like I said – it was a long time ago and I hardly ever even think of her anymore. It’s been so long, it’s almost as if I never knew her at all.”
Twenty years. I stared blankly at the picture in my hands and tried to imagine twenty years going by without having so much as a single conversation with Jack. Twenty years of not hearing his laugh, seeing his beautiful smile, or feeling the kiss he was forever planting on the top of my head. I hadn’t really given much thought to it before, but now I was seeing that I took what we had for granted. It was special and I knew it. In that moment, my heart broke a little to think he might someday be nothing more to me than a dim memory occasionally flickering through my mind.
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