by Cindy Combs
Blair tapped the folder against his hand. "Has she been sighted?"
Jim glanced at the trio on the couch. "The feds have a couple of good leads."
"The guys from last night?"
"Still with the feds."
Blair sighed. Naomi nudged his shoulder. "Go ahead, honey. I'll start the cookies."
As his partner opened the file, Jim wandered over to the couch. Ian was bouncing to the program. Neither of the adults looked very thrilled. "What's up?" Jim asked.
"Telly Tubbies!" Ian declared.
"This has got to be one of the weirdest programs I have ever seen," Sam stated, eyes wide.
"Very," Cory concurred.
"Well, the purple Teletubby's suppose to be gay," Naomi called out.
Sam's eyes grew wider. "You're kidding?"
"Oh, that's just some political stuff. The show's producers deny it," Blair replied absently.
Jim tilted his head as he studied the terry-clothed creatures hopping across the screen. "How can you tell what gender they are anyway?"
"Haven't a clue," Sam replied. "But they're weird in the strange kind of way. The landscape looks like it's been laid out with a ruler. There are speakers that rise out of the ground with disembodied voices telling the Tubbies what to do."
"If you replaced the Teletubbies with people, you'd have a very strange Twilight Zone ep about brainwashed zombies," Cory inserted.
Sam continued to stare wide-eyed at the screen. "I'm not sure I should be letting Ian watch this."
The toddler, who had been ignoring the adults, suddenly looked up. "But I wanna watch."
Sam tousled the boy's curls. "Okay, you can keep watching it." He silently mouthed, 'For now'.
Jim shook his head. "Whatever happened to Captain Kangaroo?"
"He died," Blair replied, nose still buried in the folder.
"What about Sesame Street?" Sam asked.
"Electric Company," Cory added fondly.
"Mr. Roger's Neighborhood," Blair called out.
"Romper Room," Jim tagged on.
Sam and Cory looked up at him. "Romper Room?"
Jim looked down his nose at them. "Hey, when I was in pre-school, Romper Room and the Captain were very big. Those shows you guys were talking about didn't come along until after I started Kindergarten."
"I'm surprised you even had TV," Blair mumbled.
"I heard that!" Jim shot back. "Besides, we didn't sit in front of the TV or computer screen like today's kids -- we played outdoors."
Ian looked up. "Play?"
"Sorry, Buddy, we have to stay inside." Sam hooked an arm around his son. Ian immediately snuggled next to him, watching the end of his show.
Everyone looked up at a knock on the door. Jim walked over to answer. "Hi, Simon. Didn't I just leave you at the station?"
"Yeah, a call came in just after you left." Simon Banks walked in, his face grim. First nodding politely to Naomi, he looked pointedly at Ian and explained, "I need to talk with Sam."
Reading the expressions, Naomi walked over to the couch. "Hey sweetie, you want to help Grandma?"
Bright eyes looked up. "Help?"
"Yes, I need your help, but it has to be a secret."
"Se-kit?"
"Secret. Means we can't tell anyone so it'll be a surprise." She held out a hand to the child.
"Soo pise?" Ian hopped off the couch and took Naomi's hand. "For who?"
"Why, for your Daddy, of course," Naomi explained as she led him into Blair's room, closing the door behind her. Instantly, four pairs of eyes focused on Simon.
Banks sighed and walked over to the chair next to Sam's seat on the couch. Looking into the young man's eyes, he explained, "I have news about Ms. Scott."
Jim and Blair exchanged looks. "What happened?" Blair asked.
"According to reports, she was in a gun battle with known members of a drug cartel in Montana, near the Canadian border. Before the Feds could gain control of the situation, the car with Ms. Scott blew up."
"No," Sam whispered.
Simon offered softly, "I'm sorry, Sam."
"No." Sam stood up, starting to pace.
"The Feds said they found remains..."
"NO!"
Blair attempted to grab his brother's arm, "Sam..."
Sam brushed the hand away and stormed out onto the balcony, slamming the door shut with a hard 'whoosh'.
Jim sighed and turned to his fellow detective. "Do they know if Sam and Ian are safe now?"
Simon shrugged. "The Feds think so. However, you might want to keep your eyes open, just in case."
"So we really don't know if we're off the hook yet?" Cory asked. Then they all winced as the sound of plastic smashing into brick vibrated through the room.
"I think we're back into the anger stage," Blair commented with a sigh. "Sorry about the outdoor furniture, Jim."
Jim stared worriedly at the balcony door. "It can be replaced."
"I'll talk with him," Cory volunteered. Another crash echoed from the balcony. "After he calms down a bit."
Pulling the glass door closed, Cory could hear the quiet, harsh sound of sobbing. In a corner of the balcony, Sam sat on the cement, arms crossed over his bent knees, his face buried against his arms. Cory paused a moment, uncertain. Then he walked over and draped the blanket he carried over Sam's shoulders. Turning, he slid down next to his partner to wait.
Finally, the sobbing eased. A ragged voice emerged from the arms. "You don't have to freeze."
"Yeah, I do." Cory reached over to knead the tight neck muscles. "That's what partners do. Or so you've taught me." He waited as Sam slowly pulled together his composure.
Lifting his head, Sam stared at the bricks in front of him. "She was special, you know? There was always some tiny part of me that thought we'd get back together one of these days." He paused, wiping the tears from his eyes. "Even when she just dropped Ian off in my room, I thought she'd come back at some point and explain. I didn't want to believe she'd do this to me. I didn't want to believe she was killing people in cold blood, either. It had to be a nightmare. It couldn't be real. Roxie just had to explain for it to make sense."
Cory remained silent, his hand still on his partner's back as he listened.
"I didn't want to believe any of this. Yet, in the back of my mind, little things started poking at me. Inconsistencies that I ignored because I loved her and didn't want to look at it too closely. But now, what Banks said.... Deep in my gut, I know it's true. And it.... it hurts." Sam took a deep, jagged breath. "I'm never going to get any answers. And I can't even get mad at her. 'Cause she's... she's gone."
"Yeah, you can." Cory closed his eyes a moment, trying to pick his words carefully. "She lied to you, buddy. She kept two precious years of your son's life from you. Just because she died doesn't mean you can't mourn her and be mad at her at the same time."
Sam fingered a small hole in his borrowed sweats. "I just want the chance to ask her why. Why did she become an assassin? Why did she have Ian without telling me? Why, after three years, did she just drop all this on me? Why didn't she come to me? Ask me for help? Why? Didn't she care for me?"
"I think she did. She knew you were in Seattle -- that would have taken some detective work on her part to hunt you up. I don't know her well enough to judge any of the other stuff, but maybe she's been trying to protect you, keep you away from the ugliness in her life so she wouldn't lose you. Yet leaving Ian risked you finding out, ruining your belief in her. She could have left him someplace else -- anyplace else. But she cared enough about him and about you to leave him with you. That's got to count for something."
The pair fell silent as Sam absorbed his friend's words. Finally, he looked around the balcony. "I'm going to have to buy Jim some new patio furniture."
Cory shrugged. "We could always try superglue."
They both stared at the broken plastic and said together, "Nah."
The glass door clicked open. Blair's voice floated out into the chilly a
ir. "There he is. See?"
"Daddy!"
The toddler dashed across the small space, pulling up to a stop when he spied his father's face. A finger entered his mouth. Scared, he asked, "You crying, Daddy?" as a tear of empathy began to fall from his eye.
"Come here." Sam drew the boy into his lap, wrapping the blanket around him.
Ian touched his wet face. "Why you crying?"
It would be so easy to lie, to make up a story that avoided the painful truth. However, Sam had always tackled things head on. His son needed to know. Taking a ragged breath, Sam explained, "Because Mommy can't come back to us, buddy."
The toddler stared at him in confusion, more tears joining the first.
"Mommy would like to come back and see us, but she can't."
"Why can't she?"
"She died, Buddy. That means she can't be with us any more. She had to go to heaven with the angels." Sam crossed his fingers within the blanket, knowing that heaven might not have been Roxie's destination, but praying there was some mercy left for her.
Ian's bottom lip trembled. "You leave me?"
"Never, Buddy." Sam gave him a tight hug as tears fell again from his eyes. "I'll always come back to you. I promise."
MacGyver, having been briefed by Blair, was waiting for them when they reentered the loft. Ian was still snuggled in his father's arms, Cory protectively walking behind them. Mac met Sam's sad eyes, then enveloped both son and grandson in a hug. "I'm here, son," he whispered in Sam's ear.
"Thanks, Dad," Sam replied gratefully, soaking up his father's warmth.
"I gotta go potty," a small voice announced.
"Then let's take care of that." Mac pulled away and drew the boy into his arms.
As they headed to the bathroom, Sam turned to Blair. "Sorry for before."
Blair smirked as he gave his brother a hug. "Big brothers can deal with rude, little brothers."
A slight smile curved Sam's lips until he spied Jim. Embarrassed, he withdrew from Blair and met Jim's eyes. "I'm sorry about the damage. I'll pay you back."
Jim reached over to squeeze his shoulder. "We'll work out a payment plan."
"Here you go." Naomi handed Sam and Cory steaming mugs of tea. "This will warm you up."
"Thanks, Naomi." Cory took a cautious sip of the warm liquid.
The redhead studied them all. "What shall we do now?"
Sam glanced between Jim and Blair. "Can we leave the loft?"
"Yes, though I'd like to keep a guard on you," Jim replied
"You want to do some shopping?" Blair asked softly.
Sam shook his head, staring at the floor. "Not in the mood anymore."
"What would you like to do?" Mac leaned against the wall, studying his son. Ian dashed up to Sam, raising his arms.
Sam picked the boy up and gave him a hug. After a moment, he replied, "I want to go up to my cabin. Give Ian a good Christmas there."
Mac nodded. "Then let's get to work. We've got a lot of stuff to put together to make it happen."
10:45 am, Ellison's loft
Jim took a deep breath as he re-entered the loft. The smell of baking cookies filled the air. He couldn't help but smile.
"Unca Dim! I'm helping!" Ian was sitting at the table while Sam showed him how to decorate the cookies. Colored sugar was everywhere, but Jim was willing to overlook it this once. The smile on the small face was well worth a clean dining area.
"Jim, would you like a cookie once they've cooled?" Naomi asked from the kitchen. She was pulling out a baking sheet of perfectly browned sugar cookies.
"Thanks, Naomi." He turned to Sam. "I picked up some clothes for you. Figured it was the only way to get you out of my sweats."
Sam smiled as he brushed the sugar off his hands. "Thanks, Jim. I'll pay you back."
"We'll worry about that later."
Cory looked up from his laptop. "Why don't you change? I'll help Squirrel with the cookies."
"Squirrel?" Jim asked, tousling the blond curls as he handed Sam the bags.
"Because of the way he climbs up stuff," Cory explained.
Jim nodded. "Good enough." As Sam walked to Blair's bedroom, Jim looked across to meet Blair's serious eyes. His partner was sitting in an armchair by the fireplace, a folder opened on his lap. When Blair tilted his head towards the balcony's glass door, Jim gave Ian's head another rub and followed the silent signal.
Once outside, Jim asked, "What's up?"
Blair tapped the folder against his hand. "Did you read this about Roxie's activities?"
"Yeah. Joel, Simon and I went over it this morning."
"She was using him, Jim."
Jim frowned. "You mean, using Ian as a cover? We did pick up on the reports of a woman and her baby at several of the Deadly Rose assassinations." It angered Jim to think of that sweet little boy being used at the scene of a murder. It was scary to think what could have gone wrong if Roxie had been discovered while Ian was with her.
"Well, that too. It would have made any custody battle a slam duck. But I meant Sam."
"Sam?" Jim's frown deepened. "There was no hint of a man helping her."
"Not that way." Blair ran his hand through his curls, eyes angry. "Maybe I've just been hanging out with paranoid cop types too long, but the timing is just too coincidental."
"Chief, will you step out of the Sandburg Zone long enough to tell me what's going on in that thick skull?"
Blair held up a finger in the air. "One, Sam just runs into Roxie by 'accident' in Mexico, and they immediately pick up where they left off." He held up a second finger. "Two, there was one night Sam doesn't remember. Three, a hit was placed on a pot grower, El Tornado, by his competition. Only the man is as paranoid as hell, so he's not easy to get close to. Five months after the hit was ordered, El Tornado was killed in the clinic where his wife was giving birth. Reportedly it was by a pregnant woman who was about four months along." Blair paused, holding back his anger. "What if it wasn't just tequila that's keeping Sam from remembering? What if she slipped him something to make sure he wouldn't use protection?"
"Sandburg..."
"Sam was fighting a pretty good headache there in Chicago. What if it was partly due to the aftereffect of roofies? GHB? Man, there's a whole list of stuff she could have slipped him and Sam would have blamed the tequila. She needed to get pregnant to get close to El Tornado, and she used Sam to make it happen."
"Chief..."
"And she kept using Ian to hide her activities. An innocent baby, and she just places him in danger time and time again."
"Chief..."
"Only Ian's getting old enough to talk out of turn, perhaps reveal her crimes. That's probably why it's 'Sam's turn' now, not because she cared about them. Damn!" Blair slammed his hand against the balcony railing. "Good thing she is dead, or else I'd have the urge to go after her myself."
"Blair!" Jim grabbed his arm. "Calm down."
"She used him, Jim. She used both of them."
"But does it matter?"
Blair blinked, then looked up at his partner. "What are you saying?"
"Does it matter? Roxie is gone, taking the threat to Sam and Ian with her. She can't hurt them anymore."
"Sam's still hurting." Blair glanced into the loft. "He thinks he's somehow to blame for this. He didn't deserve to be treated like that. Ian certainly didn't, either."
"No, they didn't. But it's over except for the healing. Your theory, and that's all it is--"
"It's a good theory."
"Yeah, but Sam doesn't need to hear it. That woman is gone. Leave it be."
Blair closed his eyes, forcing himself to take a deep breath. "I'm just so angry."
"I know." Jim rubbed his shoulder. "Me, too. But there's nothing we can do about that. Ian's now with his Daddy where he'll be loved, protected, and most likely spoiled rotten. It's going to be okay."
Blair shook his head. "Shouldn't Sam know the truth?"
"That he was taken in by a woman he loved who didn't return it?
We've both been there, and it hurts like hell. If Roxie was still alive, I'd say yes, we need to warn him. There's no point in it now."
Blair took another breath, then nodded. "It's just a theory, anyway."
"Exactly."
"It could have been a coincidence."
"Yes, it could."
Blair met Jim's eyes. "I've got to concentrate on Christmas."
"Right." Jim cuffed him on the head. "Let's try out some of those cookies before Mac and Dalton get back from shopping."
Blair nodded as he followed Jim to the door. "Did you pick up what I asked for?"
"Yep. Haven't seen those in a long time." Jim paused, hand on the handle. "Brings back memories, having a kid to buy for. Good memories."
Blair bounced in place. "Let's go make some more."
Three hours later
Almost everything was loaded into the minivan Mac had rented. He stared at the vehicle for a moment. "Never thought I'd ever drive one of those."
Jack laughed as he clapped him on the shoulder. "Never thought one of us would live long enough to become a Grandpa, either."
Blair was a few feet away, tucking packages into the back of his Mustang. "Sure you don't want to come up with me?"
Sam, Ian perched on his shoulders, glared at him. "I'm not having Ian ride in that death trap."
"Death trap?" Blair repeated, feeling insulted. "I'll have you know the Cobra's in perfect condition. Just ask Jim."
"Yeah, it is for now. However, just one car chase or an icy patch of road, and it's toast."
"That is so unfair. I'll have you know I'm a much better driver than Jim."
"I'll ride with you, honey," Naomi interrupted. She reached up to wiggle Ian's foot. "How's my Sweetie doing?"
"Fine, Gamma."
Jim and Cory were loading bags into the back of the minivan when Jim paused. Following Jim's line of sight, Cory softly asked, "Who's that?"
"An old acquaintance I need to talk to." Patting Cory on the shoulder, Jim walked over to the other side of the parking lot. Standing under the canopy of the bakery was Gustavo and an Hispanic woman. She was staring longingly at Ian.
"Gustavo," Jim greeted, eyeing the woman.
"Ellison!" Gustavo smiled at him. "I stopped by to give you good news. The Organization has agreed to leave Sandburg's brother and nephew alone."