by Ed Gorman
He next opened the drawer in a side cabinet, the drawer opened by the saleslady earlier, and took out one of the black gift cases. He laid the necklace into it and smiled. Then he began opening other drawers until he found a small box made to contain the gift case. He put the case into this box and slid it into his jacket pocket. Then he looked at me. "Which one would you like?"
"What?"
"Pick out one. Come on. We haven't got all night."
"Uh, no. Really. No thanks."
"Come on, pal. Don't be a schmuck. We're standing here. Pick something."
"No. Really, Wally. Forget it. It's not necessary. Actually, to tell you the truth, my wife's not much into jewelry." And what a whopper of a lie that was. But I'd made up my mind.
"Shit! For Chrissakes, will you pick out something? This is last call."
"Nothing for me, Wally, but thanks." I backed away a few feet from the showcase. He was hot, but somehow, I just couldn't make myself be a party to it.
"Schmuck!" Wally snapped. "What the hell's the matter with you? That's why I brought you here." He relocked the showcase. "Come on, then. Let's get back upstairs."
We made our way back up the escalator steps to the fifth floor, and furniture. I still couldn't believe what was happening. Did he really think I was going to be able to sleep through the night up there? But it was still early.
We just sat and stared at our watches until eleven o'clock approached, and then we began to anticipate the next pass by the guard. And he appeared, as expected, just as Wally had assured me he would. He walked the length of the floor, this time, hardly looking around, until he entered the appliances area, where he disappeared. He looked even larger this time than I'd remembered from his first pass. We heard the sound of his key in the time clock and then he reappeared as he made his way back to the elevators.
After we heard the elevator door open and close, Wally said, "How about that? Everything right on schedule." There was still a trace of annoyance in his voice, but he was cooling down.
I asked, "And he just sits down there in an office and watches the tube for an hour, and then repeats his rounds?"
"If he doesn't key those clocks on schedule, he's in a lot of trouble. Maybe one of these days, during store hours, I'll take you down there and show you around. There's a lot of stuff going on down there." Wally smiled. "If he's there, we'll get him to give us a tour."
"And are we supposed to just go to sleep now, and wait for morning?"
"First, I've got one more little item to shop for, as soon as he's had time to get back to his office, and after that we can think about getting a little rest. Matter of fact, I could use some sleep. It's been a long day. We got up early in Chicago this morning, did a day's work, drove to O'Hare, and flew home. And we were up late last night, running around…" Then he looked at me and grinned one of his familiar teasing grins. "How about you, hotshot? Think you'll be able to get to sleep after all this excitement here tonight?"
He'd read my mind. I felt a little weak at the knees every time I remembered just where the hell we were… But I had to hand it to him. He was right at home. How many times had he done this, before?
Then he said, with his playful smile, fully aware of my state of unrest, "Okay, let's go. One more little purchase and then we can turn in." He chuckled. "I'm a pretty good customer here, you know? My wife loves this store. She spends a fortune here. She'll love getting this gift, knowing it came from the Manchester Store. She doesn't much like all the New York stores they have around, up this way."
"What floor this time?" I asked.
"The fourth."
"What department?"
"Sporting goods."
"Oh? Whaddaya need?"
He glanced briefly in my direction and gave me one of his special, wait-and-see smiles. "Be surprised."
As soon as we entered the sporting-goods area, he walked directly to a large, glass-topped showcase filled with handguns.
"A gun, Wally?"
"I've been thinking that I need a good handgun for protection at home."
"Don't you already have handguns? I remember that day in Oak Ridge when we went out shooting, you had a handgun. I remember shooting it."
"That was a twenty-two target pistol. They're strictly for recreation. You'd have to hit a man right in the eye to stop him with that. If it was on the line, I wouldn't want my life depending on the protection I'd get from that." Before touching anything, he once again slipped on his plastic-film gloves and then brought out his lock picks. It took him a matter of seconds to open the cabinet.
He looked through the glass top of the cabinet at the array of guns inside and the first thing he lifted out was an ornately engraved, oversized revolver with a very long barrel, probably the kind of thing only a collector would think of buying. He broke it open to see that there were no cartridges in it, then snapped it shut again, aimed it at the middle of my chest, and clicked it a couple of times. "How do you like this cannon?" he said. "Shit, I'd be Wyatt Earp with this thing. Hit a guy in the chest with a slug from this baby and you could send him right through a window." He put it back and continued studying the selection.
While I was nervous just being there, I was fascinated with what he was doing. I didn't own a gun of any kind. Not even a rifle. He wanted to be prepared to win a shoot-out involving heavy artillery right in his own home. I couldn't imagine such a thing. But watching him was like watching a movie. "Well?" I said. "See the one you want?"
"You bet your ass." He picked up a heavy-looking handgun that appeared to be like one of the new guns cops carry these days. He played with it for a moment, getting the feel of it, aiming it, examining it… He pressed something on it, allowing the clip to drop out of the handle, into his hand. "Nice," he breathed. "Very nice." He was a baby with a new toy. He snapped the clip back into place. Then, without warning, he abruptly tossed it at me. "Here, hold this in your hand and see how you like it."
I clumsily managed to catch it and then took it and played around with it for a moment as he had done. It was kind of a kick. But I couldn't possibly imagine owning something like it. "This is a pretty high-caliber weapon, isn't it, Wally?" What did I know about such things?
"Yes, it is."
"Wouldn't it have a lot of recoil when you shoot it?"
He nodded. "Quite a bit. It'd tear a big-ass hole right through you, too."
"I'll bet it would." I handed it back to him. And then the thought occurred to me that my fingerprints were on it. But if that was the one he kept?…
He surveyed a glass-doored cabinet behind the counter that was filled with boxes of cartridges and finally located the match for his new toy. He pulled on the knob and this cabinet was also locked. But that posed no problem. He took out his little picks and had it open in seconds.
He lifted out a box of the shells, dropped the gun's clip, and began loading it.
"You're loading it now?"
"What good's a gun if it's not loaded?"
What? …But I decided not to ask any further questions. No point in sounding any more naive to him than I already did. What the hell? He wasn't planning to shoot me. At least I didn't think so.
"You want to pick something out for yourself?" he asked. "How about it? While we're standing here with the showcase open. I'll help you pick out something if you want."
"No thanks, but thanks for offering."
"How about just a twenty-two target pistol? You had a great time that day at the quarry back at the Ridge. You did pretty good with it, as I remember."
"I'd shot twenty-twos years ago, Wally, when I was just a kid at camp."
"This is last call, pal."
"I don't want anything, Wally. But as I said, thanks anyway."
"Listen, nobody should be without some kind of protection in their home in today's world."
I didn't respond.
He was amused at my skittishness. I could see it in his eyes. But this was nothing new in our relationship, which had existed over a lot of ye
ars, and after the scene an hour earlier in jewelry, I guess he decided it wasn't worth the trouble of knocking himself out trying to do me a favor.
He moved the guns around in the showcase until it no longer looked as if one was missing, and relocked it. Then he locked the cabinet behind the counter. And then, he stuck the gun into his belt, just like he was one of the "wiseguys," and stuffed the box of shells into a jacket pocket. "What say we go turn in?"
* * *
I was dead asleep when I felt the hand shaking my shoulder. I hadn't expected to be able to sleep, but after we dropped ourselves onto beds in the furniture department, I disappeared into a world of dreamless slumber with remarkable swiftness. It had been a long day. Driving from our hotel to our customer's offices in Chicago, making our pitch, taking them to lunch, with drinks, getting to O'Hare, flying to La Guardia, driving to Connecticut, and then, a late evening of "shopping" at the Manchester Store. A full day.
And as I began to wake up, I felt I had slept long and well. I felt rested, but still a little groggy. It was apparently time to get up and get moving. Wally had set the alarm on his fancy-schmancy watch, which he'd probably stolen somewhere, so we could get up at the exact right moment to swing into action, Wally-style. But why was he shaking me so damn hard?
"What in the name of holy hell are you guys doing in here?"
That voice! I looked up at… It wasn't Wally! …He looked like he was nine feet tall, standing over me! It was the night watchman! With his huge shoulders and arms, and his slight paunch, he looked like he weighed three hundred pounds. He had a handlebar mustache and a bulbous nose, and graying, light hair. He gripped my upper arm in his ham hand and he was still shaking me, shaking my entire body, in fact, like I weighed nothing.
I got up on one elbow and looked around. Wally was lying there, apparently still asleep. I sat up, rubbed my eyes, and asked, "What time is it?"
"It's six in the morning," the man answered, "and I want to know what in hell you two are doing here."
As I hesitated, trying to think of something intelligible to say, Wally stirred, rolled over, and sat up, dropping his legs over the side of his bed, and I wondered what he was going to do at this point. Would the man see the gun in his belt? I muttered, "Uh, what happened was…"
"What happened was…?" the watchman snapped, mocking me. He was hot! And I could see that he was a man who could rightly be called one big, tough, mean, son of a bitch! I glanced at Wally again, and he had buttoned his jacket. The gun was hidden. "Uh, what happened was… what happened was… uh… we were in the men's room, up here on this floor, when the bell sounded, and by the time we got down to the main floor, all the doors were locked, and nobody was around, and we couldn't get out."
"That must have been one hell of a leak you took, because the bell rings at nine-thirty and the main door doesn't get locked and left until at least nine-fifty, nine fifty-five."
"Well, that's what happened." I tried to look as straight at him as I could. "I have this intestinal problem, which—"
"I don't need the bullshit! I don't know what you two are doing here now, but it ain't kosher, and it'll have to be written up. We'll have to get the police in here on this."
"Oh, come on," I pleaded, "it was nothing. Really. I promise you." Then I looked at Wally, and he had the gun out, leveled at the watchman. I suddenly felt dizzy.
Seeing my expression, the watchman turned to Wally, and shock registered on his face. "Where'd you get the gun?"
"Downstairs in your gun department."
"Is it loaded?"
"Of course it's loaded. What good is a gun if it's not loaded?"
The watchman knew he was in trouble. He held out his hand. "Look," he said, "if you'll just give me the gun, I'll let you guys leave outta here, no questions asked, no police, no nothing. We got a deal?"
"Sorry," Wally answered flatly.
"All right, then," the watchman said, "keep the gun. Just put it away. And I'll let you two out, and you can go on about your business, no questions asked, no police, no nothing. We got a deal now?"
"I don't think so."
"Why not?"
"Because we have no way of knowing what you'll do after we walk out the door."
"I'll do whatever you tell me to do."
"But after we leave, how will I know that?"
"Look. You tell me whatever it is you want me to do. I'll go along with whatever you say. Okay?"
"You can say that, but I'll have no control over it."
I was listening to Wally's mind working, his very sharp, analytical mind. And if I'd felt stricken when I first saw that he'd drawn the gun, I was suddenly feeling lightheaded.
The watchman saw it coming, too. "Then what do you want me to do?" he asked.
"Nothing," Wally answered.
I looked at Wally's hand and saw his grip tightening. "No, Wally! Please God. No!"
"Sorry," Wally said, to the man, almost in a whisper. "Nothing personal." He fired twice, point-blank, into the man's chest. The shots were deafening and echoed around the huge display floor. The man's body jerked from the impact of the slugs, one of which exited from his back, splashing out a little blood and stuff with it as it shattered the base of a table lamp across the area. The man crumpled to the floor, ending up in a contorted heap, his eyes still open and glazed.
"Wally?" I gasped, looking back and forth between him and the dead man on the floor.
"It was the only way we were going to walk out of here, completely clean," he answered quietly. "Think about it."
His analytical mind.
Wally squatted next to the watchman's body and disconnected the man's loaded key ring from his belt loop. "One of these'll open one of the doors to the street. It's early. There won't be any traffic outside. We'll go to the diner near the plant and spend a couple of hours having some breakfast and then go into the office. If anybody asks, just say we caught the five A.M. out of O'Hare. That works out about right."
Shortly after leaving the vicinity of the store, we drove onto a bridge over a river. There was no traffic at that moment. Wally slowed down, lowered his window, and tossed, first, the man's keys, and then the gun, into the water.
* * *
I don't know how I got through that day at the office. I could still hear those two shots ringing in my ears. I felt sure everyone could see in my face that I was beyond just a little disturbed about something, but, bless them, nobody inquired. I avoided spending time with Wally the rest of the day.
I took off a little early and drove home in my own car, which I'd left in the company's parking garage. And of course, I heard all about it on a local radio station as I drove. The watchman had a wife and four children.
I was sure I'd find two men in suits, two of our small town's detective squad, waiting for me when I arrived home, to lead me away in handcuffs. But when I got home, they weren't there. And they didn't come the next day or the day after that, or the day after that. And the thing I wondered was, if they finally did come, would they believe my story? Would anybody? Ever?
But the two men haven't come looking for me… And it's been quite a while…
…And neither Wally nor I has ever again mentioned our night at the Manchester Store.
Dorothy Cannell
What Mr. McGregor Saw
DOROTHY CANNELL is a transplanted Brit who still manages to spend a good deal of time in England. Her novels about Ellie and Ben Haskell, interior decorator and writer-chef respectively, have been fashionable and popular since they first began appearing in 1984. She added to her laurels recently by winning an Agatha Award for her short story "The Family Jewels." The story chosen for this year's volume, "What Mr. McGregor Saw," first published in the anthology Malice Domestic 9, shows her at her witty and wry best.
What Mr. McGregor Saw
Dorothy Cannell
You can talk all you want but I don't believe in them," said the young woman with hazel eyes. She was wearing a brown felt hat and standing in a drizzling
rain outside the Sea View Guesthouse.
"Believe in what, Eileen?" Her companion, a fair-haired man in his late twenties, more pleasant faced than good looking, retrieved the suitcase deposited by the taxi driver on the curb and drew her gently toward the white-washed steps leading up to the door framed by Victorian stained-glass panels.
"In miracles. That's what you've been hoping for, isn't it? You think that by my coming back here and facing up to what happened I'll be struck by some burst of heavenly light and find peace at last."