Magic and Mayhem: How To Date A Dragon (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Baba Yaga Saga Book 2)

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Magic and Mayhem: How To Date A Dragon (Kindle Worlds Novella) (Baba Yaga Saga Book 2) Page 7

by Donna McDonald


  “Morgana? They belong to Morgana? I wouldn’t spit on her if she was on fire. That Goddess steals and lies.”

  She and Nathaniel both flinched as the Mage turned his head and spat in the dirt beside him. They knew he risked death by violating a sacred circle. If not Morgana, what deity did the mage use to swear on the stone? Nathaniel said Zenos hated all the gods and goddesses.

  “Carol and Hildy just recently dedicated themselves to following her. To teach them, you will have to accept the one they serve… at least enough not to lead them astray.”

  After at least thirty seconds of silence while he considered her order, Zenos grunted. She wanted to laugh, but didn’t think it was a good idea, at least until he was locked into an agreement with them.

  “Yer giving my instincts a real workout. Do I know ya, witch? Ya look very familiar. Have ya shared my bed in the last century or so? I think I would have remembered a wench with hair nearly the color of my own, but I can’t bring ya to mind.”

  Jezibaba snorted. “No. We’ve never met… nor shared anything. You kept refusing to meet me in person.”

  Zenos made a face and nodded sadly. “Well, ya look like someone I know.”

  “Would that someone be the Jezibaba perhaps?” Jezibaba asked dryly, crossing her arms.

  Zenos laughed. “No… not her. I know that crazy, egotistical witch chooses to serve Morgana The Red. Such a foolish woman. I tried to help her once, but she was too far gone by the time I heard about her. Damn shame.”

  “Or she had too much pride to abandon the people she’d sworn to protect. Some people have real honor… and a lot more than can be stored in a small stone.”

  “Honor? What does a hot tempered lass like ya know about honor? My honor is what landed me in this mess, didn’t it?” Zenos smacked his head. “Oh now I’m hearing the truth in yer tone. Can’t believe I’m listening to that same old song and dance about loyalty to the Goddess, as if Morgana wasn’t the manipulating bitch she is. Yer her favorite lackey in the flesh, aren’t ya?”

  “Watch your tongue, Mage. I have killed men for far less disrespect to the Goddess.”

  “My tongue is fine and yer mighty deity can kiss my ancient ass. Power is leaking out of ya worse than yer monthly menses. Haven’t ya been wondering why yer feeling so peckish lately? Why hasn’t the mighty Morgana fixed that?”

  “Because nothing is wrong with me.”

  “See? Another lying, foolish witch. An even more foolish woman for bedding a dragon when ya knew better. Now yer losing what was never yers to begin with and ya have no one to blame but yerself.”

  “I sincerely doubt the circle will hold for the duration of your argument, M’lady, so could we cut this debate short? I would hate Zenos to die without delivering on his promise,” Nathaniel interjected. He turned to Zenos. “Will you swear to train Carol and Hildy, or do you choose to face the one who backed your promise?”

  Zenos rubbed his beard and scratched his chin. “Why aren’t ya asking me to train all three of them witches?”

  “Because there are only two—you stubborn old goat,” Jezibaba declared.

  “See? Yer a foolish woman and a witch who believes lies. All lies. The very idea of getting involved with this shite churns my insides.”

  “You’re stalling. I do not believe lies,” Jezibaba argued, stomping her foot. Her face flushed with embarrassment when she realized what she’d done.

  Zenos lifted a hand. “Morgana lies to ya every day, but I learned long ago that I could not change the world. But I guess I can’t go back on my fecking word either. So fine… I will train yer Carol and Hildy witches. It’s best I not train the third anyway. She’s a devil in disguise, that one. Someone’s doing a bang up job warping her foolish head.”

  Jezibaba turned to Nathaniel. “Is he mad? You didn’t say anything about him having a history of mental illness.”

  Nathaniel shrugged. “He’s always been a bit eccentric… but his magic is as strong as ever.”

  “But can he be trusted not to cause problems for Carol and Hildy?” Jezibaba asked.

  Zenos’s laughter had their gazes swinging to him again. “I follow the old ways, lass. Ya bring enough trouble to yer own door with all the lies ya keep believing. I just don’t want to get tangled up in yer damn drama.”

  “Done then,” Jezibaba promised, nodding tightly. “You don’t have to participate in our drama.”

  “Unless it affects their magic… then you must do whatever necessary. You have given your word, Zenos. We will expect you in a week. For now, I release you from the circle. Our deal is concluded. Constat Igitur,” Nathaniel said roughly.

  He held out a hand and the circle he’d drawn lifted from the ground. Dust moved upwards spiraling over the trapped mage’s head before settling back down.

  Zenos’s laughter faded only as his presence faded from view. When the silence of nature fell in the woods again, Jezibaba turned her attention back to her warlock. Nathaniel was lying on the ground, passed out from the effort of closing down the powerful magic it had taken to call Zenos.

  She stooped to place a hand on Nathaniel, intending to take him back to Witchery U to recover, then remembered the tree agate was still among the cairn. She rose swiftly and checked the sacred circle. When no magical residue reached out in rebellion, she knew it was safe enough for her to collect Nathaniel’s charm.

  Walking to the cairn, she plucked the tree agate off the pile and rolled it in her hand. The magic in it had lessened greatly, but some of the original still remained. Had this belonged to her at one time or the other? She was completely baffled by the sense of familiarity she felt for the energy in it.

  Dropping the stone into her pocket, she walked back to kneel beside Nathaniel again. She hoped he’d hadn’t spent the last of his magical strength on this effort. Her level of confidence on Zenos making good on his promise was nearly zero despite the honor spell. Judging by his attitude, it was clear the ancient mage rarely helped anyone but himself.

  “Goddess, Nathaniel. I hope we did the right thing in contracting Mage Asswipe to train the girls.”

  Laying her hand on him, she took them both back where they belonged.

  Chapter 9

  “Should we tell her?” Hildy asked.

  Carol nodded. “Yes. I don’t really want to confess my stupid lust for dragon boy, but what if Thane is some sort of real threat? She needs to know he’s not as nice as he’s pretending to be.”

  “I’m assuming the ‘she’ in your statement is referring to me,” Jezibaba said as she materialized in the classroom where they’d agreed to meet. She nearly laughed when both girls turned to her with sighs of resignation. At least they respected her enough not to keep things from her.

  “We each have a confession to make. It’s about Thane,” Hildy began.

  Jezibaba growled, heard the sound, and then lifted a hand to calm herself before turning to direct her questions to Hildy. “Before I wipe the little dragon shit from the face of the planet, what did he do to you, Hildy?”

  Hildy twisted a lock of her hair around her finger. “Uh… Thane kissed me… but then he started talking… and… well, I turned him into a fish.”

  Jezibaba laughed. “A fish?” She couldn’t hold her surprise back, partially because Hildy hadn’t turned him into a toad. Schooling her face into its customary frown, she tried for a glare. No, it just wasn’t working. “So you turned Thane into a fish. I see. Was the dragon that bad a kisser?”

  “Well… no,” Hildy said, blushing over making the admission. “But he was being rude… very rude.” Carol’s disbelieving snort interjected some reality into her attempts to paint the situation in the best light she could. “Carol might be snorting at me, but she kissed him too. We both decided Thane was a rude dude and not worth it.”

  “Are you two passing the dragon back and forth?” Jezibaba demanded, her gaze glancing between her replacements. “Great Goddess, I never thought we’d have to have this sort of talk. Look girls,
there’s no need to share a male… even a great one. There are plenty enough to go around and you can each have your own. Even if you want a dragon… or two. There are plenty of those as well, especially on this campus.”

  Carol and Hildy looked at each other with wide eyes before disintegrating into uncontrolled laughter. They giggled and snorted and laughed until it hurt. Each time they glanced at each other, or at the Jezibaba, the same level of laughter erupted again.

  Finally Carol wiped her eyes and fought to get enough breath to speak. “No, Jezibaba. We didn’t share Thane. We took turns with him.”

  Hildy burst into hysterical laughter again.

  Carol wailed and slapped her leg with her hand as she tried not to fall down. “Oh Goddess… stop laughing, Hildy. I can’t stand it anymore. My stomach is hurting so bad.”

  Carol turned to the Jezibaba. “Seriously… Thane walked Hildy to the dorm and said some mean things to her so Hildy turned him into a fish and put him in our toilet. I talked her into changing him back into himself and then into letting me take a turn with trying to charm him, only he got mad at me instead. You see, I thought I could handle him better than Hildy… and I did… for the few minutes it took me to figure out he really is a jackass pretending to be a dragon. He even got mad at Iren for saving me from the alchemist lab nearly landing on my head. What a jerk?”

  “Alchemist lab? There was a problem with the alchemist lab?” When they broke out in to laughter again, Jezibaba waved that away as she stared at her charges. “Let’s cut to the bottom line of this confession. Are you both okay and still... how do I say this… untouched?”

  Hildy nodded and clamped a hand over her treacherous mouth that wanted to burst into giggles over the Jezibaba’s concern for their virtue. Finally, she drew in a deep breath to speak. “I was fine. At least Thane didn’t stick his hand down my top like Ron did that time.”

  “That damn horny warlock. Sleazy. They’re all sleazy. When did Ron do that to you?” Jezibaba demanded.

  Carol waved the comment away, mirroring her mentor’s hand signal. It was always so much fun to imitate the Jezibaba in an uproar.

  “It was nothing important. Ron once insulted Hildy’s blue dress then tried to cop a feel. She turned him into a toad, so nothing happened then either. Don’t worry, Jezibaba. We’re both still as virginal as we were before the dragon talked to Hildy at the dance.”

  She snickered at the glare her mock confession earned her from Hildy. It was a true statement… just more true about one of them.

  Jezibaba rubbed her forehead. “Thane. I knew that young dragon was going to be trouble. I asked Damien to make him keep his distance from you two. He’s good-looking, but there’s just something about him I don’t trust… I never have. I wasn’t sure your instincts worked well enough to judge that for yourselves.”

  “Oh my instincts worked fine once I finally listened to them. It took me like ten seconds afterwards to figure out dragon boy doesn’t respect me… I mean… us. He thinks witches are nothing important,” Hildy said sharply.

  “Dragon boy doesn’t respect you either, Jezibaba,” Carol added. “And I don’t think he likes Professor Smoke any better. Personally, I think he has an agenda that isn’t clear yet, but I’m watching him now. I’ll figure it out.”

  “We’re both watching him now,” Hildy declared, siding with her friend as she looked at their mentor. “What Carol is trying to say is that we both think Thane is up to something… something bad, that is. That’s why we decided to tell you how stupid we’d been about him.”

  Jezibaba snorted. “Stupid?” she repeated the word as her gaze searched out theirs. “Did he break either of your hearts?”

  “Only by turning out to be a complete and utter piece of man shit,” Carol declared. “Nobody who kisses that well and looks like he does should be like that. He should have to wear a warning sign so every female attracted to him will know what he’s really like.”

  “Arrogant Ass,” Hildy exclaimed. “The sign should say Arrogant Ass and be in large print. Maybe it should be magically tattooed across his forehead. That way when he flips his blonde hair out of his eyes, his intended victim would see the warning. Then she’d run before Thane could try his braggy charm on her.”

  The two of them laughed at the idea and then turned back to their mentor.

  “Are you disappointed in us?” Carol asked.

  “Disappointed? Whatever for?” Jezibaba demanded. “It’s not your fault the dragon is like he is. I’m proud of you both for figuring it out on your own. Right now you two could be fighting over him like a couple of cat familiars in heat, but you’re not, so no… I’m not disappointed. In fact, I’m nothing but pleased you saw through the dragon’s attractiveness to what was underneath.”

  Hildy sighed. “It’s hard to be smart and powerful. Few guys ask you out and when they do, you can nearly always tell if they’re a good guy or not. I knew Thane wasn’t a good guy at the dance, when he and I were talking, but I ignored my instincts because he was cute. I won’t make that mistake again.”

  Jezibaba smiled and rubbed her nose. “No, you’ll no doubt make others, as we all do. Powerful females sometimes have to go after what they want. They can’t always wait for a decent male to make up his mind. In the end though, respect will always feel better than all the lust in the world. Hearing how well you withstood the dragon’s phony charms, I think you’re both going to be just fine. One day, males will be lined up for the chance to date you. Trust me. I know. I’ve dated a lot of males in three hundred years.”

  “How many?” Carol asked, grinning at her mentor’s snicker.

  “How should I know? Was I supposed to keep count?” Jezibaba answered, grinning at the question.

  Carol and Hildy both grinned back

  Then Jezibaba reeled in her pride and got down to business. The dragon was not something the girls needed to worry about any longer.

  “Let me take care of Thane. When I share what happened, Damien will have to do something about him. In the meantime, I have some big news for you both. I now know what will come next in your training.”

  She let anticipation build before she smiled widely.

  “Nathaniel and I have chosen a magic teacher for you. This mage is not on the Council of Witches, but his power is unsurpassed, except by my own. And his name is Zenos.”

  “Zenos?” Hildy exclaimed. “The Zenos we studied in the History of Magic class? That Zenos?”

  Jezibaba nodded once.

  Carol bit her lip and then let out the breath she was holding. She might as well go on record with her concerns now. “Professor Lizard…”

  “Lee-zard…” Hildy corrected. “Don’t be rude like Thane.”

  “Fine… Professor Lee-zard,” Carol repeated, glaring at her do-gooder friend. “He said Zenos is completely crazy. He said the mage was totally ancient and no one knows how he’s stayed alive so long. Some think he’s immortal like a god, but supposedly he always laughs at that question when he gets asked. Do you and Nathaniel really think Zenos is sane enough to be our teacher?”

  Jezibaba shrugged. “You know, I couldn’t really tell in our… umm… interview. We didn’t speak long, but I wouldn’t be surprised to discover Zenos is one or two wands short in his tool bag. The man was rather terse in speech and generally disagreeable… quite the arrogant know-it-all… and I should know. However, being a smart mouthed, smart ass is not a crime. I know I don’t trust his information source… whoever or whatever it is. He knew far too much for someone who remains so aloof from the magical community.”

  “Oh my goddess,” Hildy declared, putting a hand to her chest. “I just realized we have to spend two years with him. What if he’s horrible? Or totally hates us?”

  Carol shook her head. “Stop with the angst, Hildy. The sacred goblet is not always half empty. Just because you worry about something doesn’t automatically mean the worst scenario is going to come true. We survived the Amazons, didn’t we? You thought that was
going to be impossible, but it wasn’t. We can do this too.”

  Jezibaba smiled. “If the mage hates you both, or is horrible to deal with, that fact will be character building and motivate you to learn faster. The time you end up spending with Zenos will depend on how fast you learn what Zenos has to teach you. I think on the short side you’re looking at least at a year to a year and a half. There are a lot of spells that require a long time to learn properly. Those are usually the ones you end up needing to know when it counts, so when this begins there will be no pulling out.”

  Carol and Hildy both nodded solemnly in agreement, mostly because they had no other choice.

  ***

  “No. I will not send Thane away. I see no valid reason to do so.”

  Since she’d taken on the role of witch protectoress, Jezibaba could count on one hand the number of times anyone—male or female—had said that simple word to her. Normally, such a negative reaction would have immediately ended the conversation. Because her “yes” always trumped. Always. It had to in her job, especially when she was more than a hundred percent correct in her argument. In fact, the only reason she was willing to keep talking after having heard “no” said so firmly is that she liked the way her dragon kissed.

  In her weakness for the sexy dragon in front of her, she was worse than Carol and Hildy, because obviously she hadn’t learned her lesson about wanting Damien Smoke. Until today. Today she was seeing a whole new side of him. She was seeing the side that felt dragons could do no wrong, especially if they were your brainy, academic assistant kind of dragon.

  “How can you say a flat no to me after all I just told you?” Jezibaba demanded.

  Damien sighed and pulled off his glasses. “Because the drama of the young is never ending. I’ve been a teacher for many years. Beyond that I’ve raised children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren. They all go through this. They date, break up, and carry on their own reality show every day of the week. It’s bloody exhausting being around one person of that age, much less two. I don’t blame you for being overly involved with their teenage antics.”

 

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