by Stella James
I try and snatch the pad of paper from her, but she smacks me again and holds it up over her head.
“You can’t see it until I’m done,” she laughs. “Now stay still and let me finish...please.”
I pretend to be annoyed to make her laugh before I do as she says. I realize that I would do anything to make Dru happy and the thought helps me to justify keeping my secrets. Because she’s happy right now and I can’t stand the thought of making her anything but.
“When we were younger, I used to drive Anna crazy trying to sketch her,” she chuckles. “I’d wait until she had her nose buried in whatever book she was obsessing over at the time and as soon as she’d move I’d shout at her to stop and scare the shit out of her.”
“How old were you when you started living with Esme?”
“Thirteen. Anna was already there, she was twelve and Elle came a couple years after that,” she says. “I remember being so scared the first night I spent there, I kept waiting for the noise and the voices, but it was so quiet. Maria, my mother, always had people coming and going. There was always a party and always so much noise.”
Thinking of Dru as a kid and dealing with that kind of shit makes my blood boil. Things might be fucked up between me and my own parents right now, but I always had a safe home growing up.
“Before Elle came along, it was just Anna and I sharing a bedroom and I used to ask her every single night if she was sure no one was coming. She’d flick off her flashlight and put her book down and make up stories to tell me to keep me distracted. It was silly to be that old and be scared but I just couldn’t shake the fear that things couldn’t possibly be as good as they seemed. Maria was into drugs on and off most of my life and by the time I was ten she was so far gone that she didn’t even look like my mother anymore.”
“How did you stay with her for so long? Why didn’t anyone report her?” I manage to keep the bubbling anger from my voice. She keeps her eyes on the paper and continues to draw, speaking calmly.
“I suppose no one wanted to be bothered. In our neighbourhood drugs were so common that it didn’t really phase anyone. I never met my dad and there were a lot of things that my mother did wrong. But she somehow always managed to keep a bit of food in the cupboards and whenever she had people over she used to send me to my room and tell me to lock the door. As messed up as it sounds, I knew that was the best she could do, and I felt too guilty to ever try and get away. I didn’t realize until I’d been at Esme’s for a couple months just how messed up the whole situation with my mother really was.”
I hated to admit it but Dru was one of the lucky ones. I’d seen far too many cases where kids were being neglected by their strung-out parents. Left to fend for themselves or worse, left as prey for the rest of the city’s degenerates. I still hate the thought of Dru going through any of this shit but I’m grateful that it wasn’t any worse for her.
“How did you end up with Esme?”
“Maria pissed off one of the neighbours who lived below us, she owed the lady money and never bothered to pay her back so she called the cops one night with a noise complaint. They called child services and that was that. They took me to a group home where I stayed until the lady who worked my case introduced me to Esme,” she explains. “There were court dates and hearings, but Maria never bothered to show up and no one could find her. One day a letter arrived for my case worker indicating that Maria had given up her parental rights and specifically named Esme as my guardian. She must have known where I was, but she didn’t try to get me back,” she says.
“I’m sorry Dru.”
“It’s okay. It’s in the past now and I realize how lucky I am that things didn’t turn out worse. Being taken in by Esme was the best thing that could have happened.”
She flips the pad of paper around and smiles. The portrait is of me lying on my side, my bottom half covered by a rumpled sheet. My eyes are closed in the drawing and I actually look peaceful. I notice the little frog in the corner of the page, same as last time but now he’s wearing a crown.
“The frog?”
“I told you, top secret,” she says before brushing her lips against mine and padding into the kitchen. “Why don’t you grab a shower and I’ll make us something to eat?”
I stretch languidly and allow the sheet to fall as I stand from the bed and head to the bathroom. My dick was hard the minute Dru’s lips touched mine and when I pass the kitchen, there’s no mistaking the fact that she notices my arousal as her eyes flash to the bulge in my boxers. I leave the door open and turn the shower on, I’m just standing under the spray when I hear the door click shut. My hand is firmly around my cock when Dru pulls the shower curtain open. She’s naked and flushed and when she looks down and sees me stroking myself her eyes darken and she licks her lips, nearly fucking killing me in the process.
“I decided that breakfast can wait,” she says as she steps into the tub and pulls the curtain shut.
I continue to grip my cock as she sinks to her knees in front of me and replaces my hand with her own. She looks up at me with heat in her eyes and licks the drop of cum from the tip before opening wide and taking me as far back as she can. I can feel the back of her throat and when she swallows hard, my hands sink into her hair and a guttural groan of appreciation rumbles in my chest.
“Fuck Dru.”
She drags her mouth from my cock and trails her tongue along the bottom before sucking me back in again, harder this time, and when I hit the back of her throat she moans around me and closes her eyes. She bobs her head back and forth down my length moaning and humming and taking all coherent thoughts from my mind. I can feel my balls begin to tighten and as much as I want to see my cum dripping from her lips, the need to be buried inside of her is far greater.
“Stop Dru, I need to be inside you,” I growl.
She smiles up at me and lets me pull her from her knees but before I can tug her against me she spins around and braces her hands on the back of the tub. Her perfect round ass is in the air and when I grip her hip and reach between her legs, swiping my fingers along her folds, she’s already wet and ready for me.
“You’re fucking soaked Dru, God you don’t know how fucking crazy it makes me knowing that this is for me.” I urge her to part her legs wider and she groans as I drag the tip of my cock along her dripping sex.
“Ethan, I want you,” she whimpers. “Don’t make me wait.”
I plunge into her and press my palms firmly into the globes of her ass, massaging her curves and fucking loving the way her body fits around me. Like it was made for me. She pushes back against me and when I pull out and enter her again she meets my thrust and our bodies, slick with water, smack together and echo in the small bathroom. I’m fucking her slow and steadily, each thrust is harder than the last and as steam fills the room all I can focus on is the way her dark hair hangs down her back and the feeling of her pussy squeezing me.
I’m so close but I need to feel her come around me before I can let go. I wrap my arm around her waist and place my fingers on her clit, pressing circles into the tiny ball of nerves while she sways in front of me, gasping. The minute I feel her tight channel clamp down on me I push into her faster until I feel the build-up of tension and my own climax. I come hard and with a deep groan as she begins to relax around me. Pulling her up against me, I bring her back to my front and slowly slip from her body. She leans into me and gradually turns to face me, spent and satisfied we wash each other gently and run our hands over each other’s skin.
When the water begins to cool, I get out first and wrap a towel around my waist before taking her in my arms and drying her off. She gives me the satisfaction of allowing me to take care of her and moments later when we’re tangled back in her sweet-smelling sheets, I soak in every detail from the tiny dark freckle on her right shoulder to the red polish on her toes. When she asks me what I’m thinking, I simply reply nothing. Because I’m too much of a coward to tell her the truth. That I’m committing every inch of h
er to my memory so that when this whole thing blows up in my face, I’ll have something to hold onto.
Chapter 13
Dru
I can’t stop grinning as I make my way to Esme’s for brunch. I asked Ethan if he wanted to come with me, but he has a lunch meeting with his boss, Nick, to go over his contract for the new job next week. After our impromptu shower this morning, we drifted off to sleep for another hour while our breakfast got cold and the world disappeared around us. Being with Ethan, in his arms, is the safest place I’ve ever been. I never used to understand how people could fall so easily, I always felt like love was something that would be gradual and slow. I used to think that when I finally did fall in love, it would be one fraction at a time, that it would claim one small piece of who I am bit by bit. But what I feel for Ethan is like a tidal wave that pulls me under each time we are together. Everything around me is blurry and I can’t see anything but him nor can I feel anything but his arms around me, guiding me safely through the whirlwind. I can still see the shore, but I’m being carried further and further away which scares me because I don’t know if he feels the same and because there is still so much of him that remains a mystery. When I do fall completely for him, I want to fall for all of him, including his past and who he is now.
My thoughts are put on pause as I make my way down the hallway, I can hear the faint sound of voices and my heart fills for an entirely different reason. When I open the door to Esme’s I’m hit with the scent of cinnamon as she flips thick slices of homemade bread on the griddle. Anna is at her usual spot at the table, but instead of reading she’s talking with Elle and Blake who are sitting side by side and looking more in love than ever. I raise a brow at Elle in question when she looks up at me and she responds with a brilliant smile.
“Hello dear,” Esme says before she pecks a quick kiss to me cheek and wraps me up in a tight hug.
“Hey, sorry I’m la-.”
“Yeah, yeah, you’re a brilliant complicated artist and you got caught up,” she interrupts affectionately.
“Well actually, I wasn’t painting. I had company,” I say with a wink and make my way to the kitchen table. Elle and Anna chuckle while Blake stands and gives me a hug.
“Good to see you’re still alive big brother,” I scold jokingly. He looks down at Elle with such love and adoration that even my knees go weak.
“We won’t be missing any more family time,” he states firmly before sitting back down beside my sister and pulling her close to his side. Man, they are going to make some beautiful babies someday.
“And who was this company you had this morning?” Esme asks.
“Oh, you know, just the kind that leaves you feeling well rested,” I chirp.
Anna blushes while Elle and Blake are so lost in each other that they don’t even acknowledge us. Esme stacks the French toast onto a platter and doesn’t bother looking up as she replies, “Mm, that’s nice dear. You can bring your new lover next weekend so we can meet him properly. Now set the table, it’s time to eat.”
*
After Esme’s, I have a bit of time to kill before our weekly rehearsal at the club. I decide to tag along with Anna to a nearby bookstore so she can pick up a new book for story time with her class. Something is up with her today, she seems more lost in thought than usual. We pause in front of a display of children’s books so she can sift through the colourful stacks.
“What’s up with you today?” I ask as I flip through a book about the jungle.
“What do you mean? Nothing’s up with me,” she counters.
I snap the book shut and when her head pops up and she looks at me, I wait expectantly for her to answer me. She knows I won’t let this go until she spills it.
“Ugh, it’s not a big deal,” she relents. “I had a date the other night.”
“You had a date…and?”
“I met him at the coffee shop when I was on the way to work one morning last week, he seemed nice and he asked me for my number. So, he called a couple days later and asked me to dinner. We went to a really nice restaurant downtown and it seemed to be going well.”
“Jesus, Anna, did he try something with you?”
“No! It didn’t get past the restaurant,” she admits, exhaling roughly. “His wife showed up in the middle of the meal and freaked out, yelling in front of everyone about him being a cheating asshole. And then she dumped a glass of wine on me, followed by the entire plate of pasta sitting in front of me. I was so stunned I just sat there like a moron until one of the waiters finally came over and helped me clean up a bit. I snuck out while they were still shouting at each other.”
Of course I immediately want to hunt this prick down and beat him senseless, but I can tell that Anna is mortified.
“Aw, honey, I’m sorry,” I say as I reach for her hand and squeeze it with mine. “Why didn’t you say anything last night?”
“Because it’s embarrassing. I mean, it’s fine, it’s not like I knew him that well or anything,” she shrugs. “But to make it worse, when I got home, I ran into Sebastian. My hair was matted with wine and I had a giant stain on the front of my dress; my yellow dress by the way which as you know is my most favourite.”
“And who is Sebastian?”
“Oh, right, the neighbour who I was going to have murdered. I don’t think I’m going to go through with it. It seems like it would be expensive,” she says. “Anyways, I’m just sick of jerks. I want to meet someone nice and normal. I see Elle and Blake and I want what they have. I want someone to look at me the way he looks at her.”
My heart aches for Anna, she’s always been the most romantic out of the three of us and she’s been holding out for the real deal since we were young. She’s dated and had a couple short relationships, but she’s always said that if she doesn’t feel like someone is the one, she doesn’t see the point in wasting time. She wants love and a family and a solid foundation, probably because of how she ended up with Esme. She wasn’t like me, who came from something messy and unstable or Elle who lost her mother when she was a baby and then gradually lost her father over the years to alcohol and his own grief.
“You will find that Anna, you’re the best person I know. There’s someone out there for you, there has to be. Otherwise the rest of us trolls are totally screwed,” I say with a smile.
She laughs and rolls her eyes. “You’re not a troll and you know it. But thank you. I’m just feeling sorry for myself, I need to get over it. I’m in a slump, that’s all,” she says.
“I love you,” I say.
“I know. I love you too.” She lets go of my hand and resumes her search for the perfect children’s book.
The man that falls in love Anna and has her love in return is the luckiest man in the world. My sister truly is the best person I know.
*
When I get to the club I head for the dressing room and change into my yoga pants and a tight tank top. Brenna and Margo are already changed and pass me in the hallway, but not before harassing me for details about Ethan. I give them the bare minimum which earns me two dramatic eye rolls but also two very sincere congratulatory smiles before they head back out front where Vanessa is waiting to get started. The rest of the girls are on the stage stretching. Since the club is closed on Sundays, we get together to go over the week’s schedule of performances. We all have our solo routines memorized and most of the group ones, but we practice anyways. Sometimes we change up the group numbers and even if we don’t, we need to be spot on and it’s fun to spend part of the day together without the hustle and bustle of the customers around us. Since Gus hired Maci, she’s taking over my solo spot with a new number that Vanessa has choreographed for her. I’ve been moved to strictly group numbers, which is fine. It’s only fair since I hardly even qualify as part time now.
A few hours later once we’ve run through everything a couple times, we head back to the dressing room sweaty and all talking at the same time, catching up since the last time we saw each other. I snag
my water bottle off one of the vanities and take a sip before Maci comes over to me and offers me a timid smile.
“I’m sorry about the other night,” she says. “I didn’t know that you and Ethan were a thing.”
I instantly feel like an asshole for the way I practically shot daggers at her that night. Working with a group of half-naked women and performing for tips probably gives people the impression that we compete with one another and that there’s some kind of backstage pageant drama. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Gus would never allow backstage rivalry and childish bullshit. Some of the girls keep to themselves more than others but we all get along and have each other’s backs.
“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bark at you, you didn’t know and guess because things are new I’m still kind of sorting out what exactly we are to each other,” I reply sincerely.
“Well if it’s any consolation, when I asked him out he said no without even hesitating.”
I laugh lightly. “Well, I’m sorry, but not sorry.”
She returns my smile and we stand there chatting a bit more as the other girls begin filing out. I’m the last one to leave and as I make my way back out front I pull my phone from my bag and see that I have two messages. One from Anna with a picture attached showing two different fabric swatches.
Anna: I’m sewing my irritation away, which means you’re getting a new pillow. Which one?
Me: The purple one. <3
The second message is from Ethan.
Ethan: See you tonight?
Me: Yes.
I wave to Vanessa who is just packing up and push open the heavy door leading outside. My phone beeps again.
Ethan: Look up.
When I do, I see him leaning against his Jeep, parked right out front.
Instant butterflies.
Chapter 14
Ethan
When I see Dru step out of the club, my chest tightens and I can’t wipe the smile off my face. There isn’t a single moment that I don’t think she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. Today, in workout pants and a loose-fitting hoodie, with her hair piled on top of her head, is no exception. She looks up from her phone and when she smiles at me I wonder if there will ever be a time that I don’t feel it right down to my bones.