by Rita Herron
Brandon rocked back on the back legs of the chair. “So what are you going to do with all that money, Carter?”
Carter shrugged. He’d been happy at the BBL, but still something was missing. “All I ever wanted was my own spread like you guys have.”
Johnny and Brandon exchanged smiles, and Carter wondered what the hell they were up to.
“What do you two have up your sleeve?” Carter asked.
Johnny tossed a peanut in the air and caught it in his mouth. “We just happen to know of some ranch land for sale. Rich Copeland, the guy who owns the land next to the BBL, is finally moving.”
“Yeah, he’s complained ever since we started the BBL and finally decided to give it up,” Brandon added.
Next to the BBL? It sounded too good to be true.
Johnny grinned sheepishly. “We also know where you can purchase some start-up horses and cattle.”
Carter’s chest swelled. The only thing better than being free and having money was having his best friends back. “Sounds like I need to take a look at it.”
“We can ride out there later,” Brandon told him.
Carter nodded. “You know, I’ve been thinking.”
“About what?” Johnny arched a brow. “Sadie Whitefeather?”
Carter’s gut churned. Hell, not a minute went by without him thinking about her. “About the BBL. I’d like to be a permanent part of it. Help you grow it.”
The chair legs hit the floor as Brandon rocked back down. “We could use a cowboy like you.”
“Yeah,” Johnny said gruffly. “So far, you’ve inspired some of the boys not to give up hope, that you can overcome adversity and have a future. You just have to want it bad enough to fight for it.”
Another twinge pulled at Carter’s gut. He’d thought having freedom, money, a ranch of his own—that it would all be worth it. That it was all he wanted and needed.
But even thinking about buying Copeland’s land wasn’t as thrilling as he’d expected.
Something else was missing.
Sadie.
Hell, he knew it was Sadie.
But for some reason, he’d been too damn stubborn to admit it.
Johnny’s simple silver wedding band and Brandon’s gold one—bands he once would have thought looked like nooses around their fingers—reminded him that they both had someone special in their lives. Someone to love.
Someone who loved them.
Sadie had said she loved him.
Had she meant it?
“You’re awfully quiet for a celebration,” Johnny said.
Carter looked up at his buddies and once again thought how grateful he was to have their friendship. They had wasted so much time being angry.
He didn’t want to waste a minute now.
“I have been thinking about Sadie,” he said quietly.
Johnny and Brandon exchanged another look. “What are you waiting for?” Johnny asked.
Brandon elbowed him. “Yeah, man, why don’t you go after her?”
Carter grimaced, his old insecurities screaming in his head. The bitter things his old man had said. That he was worthless and didn’t deserve love. The beatings at the prison. The time running from the law.
The ugliness was all part of him now.
Carter cleared his throat. “I…don’t deserve her,” he finally admitted.
“Don’t start that bull,” Brandon growled.
A tense silence descended for a minute, then Johnny cleared his throat. “Yeah, you do deserve her,” he said quietly.
Brandon poured him another beer. “You just have to believe it.”
“But what if it’s too late?” What if she’d gone back to the reservation and married Jimmy?
Johnny patted his back. “Then you fight for her just like you have everything else in your life.”
Brandon raised his glass for another toast. “Here’s to never giving up.”
Carter raised his glass and clinked it with his buddies. They were right.
Dammit, Sadie was the best thing that had ever happened to him.
And he was going after her.
SADIE STARED AT THE POSITIVE line on the pregnancy test and smiled, then glanced at the medical school acceptance letter and frowned.
She should be excited over both occasions.
But how would she pay for medical school and support a baby?
Taking a deep breath, she pushed to her feet to make a cup of herbal tea, her determination kicking in. She had survived Lester’s attack, and she and Carter had overcome huge obstacles to free both of them from the past.
She could raise this child on her own and attend medical school and become a doctor. The people at the reservation needed her.
And thanks to Carter, the water issue was settled. He might not have loved her, but when he’d sold his father’s ranch, he’d exposed the problems and convinced the company leader to enforce environmental safety precautions. She would never forget that good deed.
She pressed a hand over the small bump in her belly, an image of Carter’s face flashing in her mind. She hoped this baby looked just like him.
But sadness welled inside her that this little boy or girl would never know their daddy.
She had considered calling him and telling him. But Carter had made no move to see her in the past few months, and she refused to trap a man into marriage.
She sipped her tea and looked out at the reservation—the rolling flatland, the scrub brush, the hogans, the prayer teepee, the wild horses roaming in the hills—and felt a peacefulness inside her.
She hoped Carter felt that peace, as well.
The sun was rising higher, blazing hot, so she showered quickly, braided her hair, then dressed in a loose Indian dress, and headed over to the clinic to work with the children. Starting a clinic had been her pet project the first month she’d returned.
This was her future now. The reservation. The children. And soon she would add a little baby of her own.
He or she would be born before the first semester of medical school started. Then again, she could postpone school another year until the baby was older and she could save some money.
It wouldn’t be easy, but she would do it. And she would love this child with all her heart, just as she loved its father.
CARTER HAD BEEN TO the Sawdust Saloon looking for Sadie, then to her old apartment, but both the owner of the bar and the apartment complex said she hadn’t returned after the hearing.
Amber, one of the waitresses at the saloon, had told him Sadie had moved back to the reservation.
Carter pulled up to the sign marking the entrance, stopped and stared at it, his stomach in knots. Had Sadie reunited with Jimmy?
Hell, it had been four months. She might be married for all he knew.
He might be on the verge of making a fool out of himself.
And Carter didn’t like being the fool.
He shifted gears and started to turn the car around, but a falcon flew above, free, its wings fluttering, just as the wild horses ran free in the distance. He was free now.
Free to choose to be alone or to spend his life with the woman he loved and wanted.
He just hoped to hell he wasn’t too late.
Then he spotted a little girl about five with a long black braid dangling down her back standing near a building marked Medical Clinic. A building that hadn’t been there before. He instinctively knew Sadie had something do with it, and pride filled him.
Then his gaze locked with the little girl’s. Her big brown eyes reminded him so much of Sadie that for a moment he couldn’t breathe. He imagined what his and Sadie’s own child might look like, a daughter or a son, and his heart swelled with love.
Then suddenly the little girl turned and ran back toward the clinic.
Was the little girl a sign?
Not that he believed in signs…
Still, he’d come this far. He couldn’t go back and tell Johnny and Brandon that he had chickened out. And he couldn’t let
his fears imprison him.
So he started the truck again and drove onto the reservation.
Seconds later, he spotted Jimmy outside on the porch of the clinic handing a baby over to its mother.
Perspiration beaded on his skin. Jimmy was a good guy. A damn saint. The type of honest, hardworking, dedicated man Sadie deserved.
For God’s sake, the man had even helped him. Of course, he’d only done that out of devotion to Sadie.
But dammit, he wanted her.
Cursing himself for taking so long to come after her, he parked in front of the clinic and climbed out, then strode up to the porch steps. Jimmy spotted him and raised his hand to shade his eyes from the blinding sun.
“I see you finally showed up,” Jimmy said, derision lacing his voice.
Carter tensed. “Yeah. I had some things to take care of.”
“Things more important than Sadie?” This time Jimmy’s anger resonated loud and clear.
Carter shifted. “No…but I needed time.”
Jimmy glared at him. “You don’t deserve her.”
The man’s words echoed the trash-talking his father had done to him for years, and fueled Carter’s temper. The temptation to slug him ripped through him, but Carter had vowed to change, to not act like his old man, and clenched his hands by his sides.
“I guess we’ll let Sadie decide.”
“Let Sadie decide what?”
Carter’s breath stalled in his chest when he saw her standing in the door frame, the little girl he’d seen on the street beside her. The little girl waved at him then smiled a gap-toothed smile, giving him courage.
Carter shuffled nervously. “Sadie, is there some place we can go and talk?”
Pain flashed in her eyes for just a moment, but she nodded, then started past Jimmy. “I’ll be back—”
He caught her arm. “Call me if you need me.”
Sadie offered Jimmy a quick smile, then brushed past him and they walked down the path leading away from the clinic. But when she turned to study him, his nerves spiked as if a fever raged inside him.
He’d never been so damn scared in his life. Not even when he and Sadie had been trapped in that mine.
Finally they reached a small wooden cabin, and she gestured toward the porch. He settled in the porch swing, and she slipped inside and returned a minute later with a glass of lemonade for both of them.
“Thanks.” He turned it up and drank as if he hadn’t had water in days.
“What are you doing here, Carter?”
Her soft voice made him jerk his head up. The sun painted a halo of golden light around her, framing her beautiful face. Not for the first time, he thought she looked like an angel.
Knowing if he stalled, he’d probably chicken out and run, then he’d hate himself for doing so, he dropped to one knee in front of her. His hands shook as he removed the velvet ring box from his pocket, flipped it open and held it out toward her. “I love you, Sadie. I…don’t know what took me so long to say it except I was a fool, and I didn’t think I deserved you, but I love you and I want you to marry me.”
For a moment, Sadie simply stared at him as if she was stunned, a soft smile of hope lighting her eyes. A second later, her smile faded, she burst into tears and ran inside the house, the screen door slapping behind her.
Hell. Carter staggered back, shocked. He’d worried that she and Jimmy were involved.
Maybe they were and he was too damn late.
No, he couldn’t be. Sadie was too important. Dammit, he’d never loved anyone like he loved her.
He vaulted up and rushed inside, slamming the screened door, but he hesitated at the sight of her standing by the window looking out at the wild horses running in the distance. Her shoulders were shaking, and she was crying softly.
“Sadie?” Terrified that he’d lost her or that something was terribly wrong, he inched toward her. “Sadie, what’s wrong?” he asked quietly. “If I hurt you, I’m sorry.”
She spun around, her eyes red-rimmed and haunted. “Jimmy called you, didn’t he? He told you to come here and do this.”
“What?” He narrowed his eyes, confused. “Hell, no. He’s in love with you and hates my guts. Why would he call me?”
Sadie sniffled. “He really didn’t call you?”
Carter shook his head. “No.”
“So you don’t know…he didn’t tell you—”
“Tell me what?” Worry clawed at him. Was she sick or something?
His lungs ached for a breath as he closed the distance between them and captured her hands in his own. “What is it? Talk to me.” Panic seized him. “I should have come sooner, but I was confused and scared and I wanted to get my life together.”
“Oh, Carter.” Suddenly a small smile softened her mouth, confusing him even more. Then she released his hand and pressed one hand over her stomach.
“What?” Carter rasped. For God’s sake, he was going to faint. “Please, you’re killing me. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“Jimmy didn’t tell you about the baby?” she whispered.
“Baby?” Carter’s legs buckled. Sadie caught him and helped him to the sofa.
Sadie laughed softly, then knelt beside him. “Yes, when you proposed, I thought you knew, that that was the only reason you asked me to marry you.”
He shook his head, the shock turning to joy and excitement. “No, my God, no. Sadie, I…love you.” He dropped down to the floor beside her. “I’ve missed you so much, but at first I didn’t have anything to offer you. No money. No place to live. I had no way to take care of you.”
“You did take care of me, Carter. And I never wanted money,” Sadie said. “All I wanted was you.”
Carter realized he’d been an idiot. But he intended to make up for it. He cupped her face between his hands. “And all I want is you.”
Sadie licked her lips, her eyes moist. “But it’s not just me now, Carter. We’re going to have a son or a daughter.”
Fear that he would be like his father slammed into Carter.
But the trust and love shining in her eyes made his doubts quickly fade. He would never be like his old man.
“I know, and I love you, Sadie.” He kissed her deeply, then lowered his head and kissed her belly. “And I will love our baby and be the best father I can be to him.”
“Or her,” Sadie said with a laugh.
He kissed her again, then framed her face with his hands. “I have some things to tell you. I bought a ranch. It’s next to the BBL and I’m volunteering there—”
“That’s wonderful,” Sadie said. “And I was accepted into medical school.”
Carter picked her up and swung her around, and she squealed with joy. “Now, that’s something to celebrate.”
Sadie looped her arms around his neck. “No, marrying you is something to celebrate.”
Carter nodded, then they kissed frantically. One kiss led to another, and they fell on the bed together, touching and stroking, and laughing.
Then Carter slowly undressed her.
And as he joined his body with hers, he realized Sadie had given him the one thing that money couldn’t buy—well, two things.
Her love and a baby.
* * * * *
ISBN: 9781459223448
Copyright © 2012 by Rita B. Herron
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