by T. Nixon
“Oh!” I said as I remembered. “That picture in my room is of you and James by that tree!” The whole day had been filled with niggling feelings and thoughts, so it was a relief to get rid of one of them.
“Yes,” Cherry said quietly. My temporary elation passed, and I felt sad for her, which within seconds made me feel sad for myself.
“There was something weird about that picture...” I said, trying to bring myself out of my emotions. “There was another person or something.”
“What?” Cherry’s tone was surprised. Her brows furrowed. “I’ve looked at that picture a hundred times, I’ve never seen anything.”
“I’m pretty sure. When I knocked... when I noticed it we were on our way out to dinner and I haven’t looked since, but I thought I saw someone.”
“That’s odd.”
“Hang on,” I jumped from my seat and sprinted up the stairs. I grabbed the photo off the wall and ran back downstairs. I handed it to her, and she accepted it gingerly. I watched as she scrutinized it. She held it away from her face and then brought in closer, her eyes squinting to see.
“It’s hard to tell... I have an idea.” She rose from her seat and left the dining room. I held the picture under the light and saw it, the face, peeking out from behind the tree.
“Aha!” Cherry said as she walked back to the table. She waved a large magnifying glass. “I will beat old age yet,” she said as she sat down. “OK, let’s see what we’ve got here.”
She adjusted the glass until she found an angle with the best visibility. “Well it’s someone alright,” she said. She went back and forth, looking through one eye and squeezing the other closed. “I can’t make out who it could be though. There was no one else there with us, we used the auto timer on the camera and propped it on a branch.” She handed the glass and photo to me. “You want to have a look?”
I took them from her and leaned over the table to get the picture in the best light. I did as Cherry had and adjusted the magnifier until I found the best visibility. I looked at the face and could have sworn it looked familiar, even though it was tiny and the details were fuzzy. I was almost sure. In my peripheral vision I saw Cherry looking at me hard which made me think I must have had a look on my face.
“What?” she asked, “can you tell who it is?” Her voice was tinged with disbelief as were my thoughts. It couldn’t be. But then again...
“I don’t know, there isn’t a lot of detail, but it almost looks like...” the words faltered. I didn’t want to say it because I didn’t know what it implied.
“What?” Cherry asked again, her voice more insistent. The energy in the room was suddenly intense, matching the way she looked at me.
“Brad.” I said flatly.
“Brad,” she repeated and reached for the picture and magnifying glass. She looked again, scrutinizing every available detail.
“Was he around back then?” I didn’t want to get him in trouble, what if he had followed them or had been where he didn’t belong.
“He was, yes,” she said slowly as she studied the picture. “It does look a little like him.” Her voice was almost sad, as though the discovery of Brad in the moment somehow lessened it for her. Or perhaps lessened her respect for him.
She set the glass and picture down next to her abandoned salad. She placed one hand over the other and sat quietly for a moment, absorbing the possibilities of the discovery. I must have looked worried- I certainly felt it- cause she smiled. “You have good eyes, which is good. We need good eyes around here.”
“Did Brad do something wrong?” I asked hesitantly.
“Not really... but he shouldn’t have been there.” Her smooth voice had an edge to it, a quiet hardness that only someone who knew her really well would have heard. Or someone sitting closely, in the quiet of a mountain kitchen, having just opened a can of worms she couldn’t close. I couldn’t close.
I felt bad. I had gotten Brad in trouble. I looked at my hardly touched dinner and chewed my lip. I searched for something to say that would ease the situation, but no words came. I felt Cherry’s hand spread over mine, she patted it reassuringly.
“It was a long time ago, Vic. Don’t worry about it. I’m not upset with Brad, I’m just... surprised. That meadow was always a special place for James and me. We were going to build a cabin there.” Once again, she got lost in her thoughts and I hated to interrupt. After a few seconds she smiled again, her eyes on mine were not as tense as they had been seconds before. I relaxed a little.
“Maybe Brad knew that, that it was special for you guys, and that’s why he warned me to stay away,” I offered.
“Maybe, but I doubt he would have known that-” she stopped short. She cocked her head thoughtfully and said, “I guess I don’t doubt it anymore now that he’s in that photo.” I didn’t point out that he had always been in the photo, she just hadn’t noticed him before. “But he warned you because there are animals out there and you should not have been going up there alone.” She chastised gently.
“I know, I know,” I replied. I didn’t need another lecture about it. I picked at my food which reminded Cherry of her unfinished dinner. She had made my favorite Italian ham flat bread and a huge salad. I had wolfed down the flat bread, leaving a few pieces for the next day, but had only had a couple bites of the salad when the picture came up. Cherry had never set hard and fast rules about eating in her home but I knew it wouldn't be wise to leave more than half of the salad remaining in my bowl.
After dinner I did the dishes while Cherry went about the enormous task of feeding the dogs. She called Kitty to escort her to the barn where the dog food and bowls were. I had never liked going out alone after dark during my summers on the farm. It was very dark, and very quiet, unless you were unfortunate enough to be near a pack of wild boar. Their snorting and rustling could scare the grim reaper.
Cherry had not returned by the time I finished the dishes. I peeked out the window of the kitchen door but saw no sign of her in the yellowy flood light that illuminated the area between the buildings. I went to the sitting room with the intention of scouring her shelves for a good book. I took my time getting lost in the titles and descriptions but not seeing anything I wanted to invest the time into reading.
I heard Cherry let herself in the kitchen door and within seconds Kitten was by my side. “Ooh it’s cold out there!” Cherry said as she followed the dog into the sitting room. “I wonder if I should light a fire.”
“Don’t do it on my account, nothing sounds better than curling up in bed with a good book.” The weariness must have given way in my voice. Cherry walked over to me and put her arm around me taking me into a side embrace.
“It has been a long day for you.”
“A long life,” I replied. Her grip tightened but she said nothing. My parents hung heavily in the air between us. I lost my mom and dad, but she also lost her brother and his wife that she adored like her own true sister.
“Find anything good?”
“Not really,” I said, feeling slightly defeated. The thing I needed more than anything was escape, and books were the easiest way.
“What about....” Cherry said slowly as she scanned a bookshelf that I had not looked at yet. “This one.” She pulled a well-worn hardback book off the shelf and handed it to me. The cover left little to be desired. “Have you read it?”
“No, I haven’t.” She must have read in my tone that I wasn’t all that interested in reading it. Besides, it was nonfiction, not a mystery. “I usually read mysteries, like the Mrs. Murphy series, it’s fun because it’s from the point of view of the cat.”
“I think I’ve read one of those, they are fun. This,” she said putting a finger on the book she gave me, “this is one of my favorites. You should give it a try. You can always stop reading if you don’t like it.”
I looked at her and was immediately convinced. Her voice was soft and silky, her auburn hair warm. Her eyes were full of sincerity and it was impossible for me to say no. I
smiled, held the book up and said, “The Soul of Horses it is.”
Cherry returned my smile and we both stood up. “Good, just promise me you’ll give it a try. You never know what you might get out of it.”
“OK, ok,” I said, feigning reluctance that was real.
“Well, I better put some time into balancing the checkbook, I wouldn’t want to upset Brad with my lax accounting.” She winked at me and headed for her desk, I headed for the stairs.
I left the door open a crack in case Kitten decided to sleep with me again, threw the book on the nightstand and quickly shed my clothes and got into my pajamas. I turned off the overhead light and hurried across the room to quickly switch on the bedside lamp. I pulled the blankets up close and as I waited for warmth my eyes automatically found the empty spot on the wall where the picture of James, Cherry, and the tree had been. The years had created a line where the frame had rested against the wall.
In an effort to keep my mind from going over all the things that had happened I reached for the book. I sighed as I cracked it open, it’s binding was worn and well creased. After one page I was tempted to throw the book down and find something else, but I kept going, I had promised.
◆◆◆
The room was dark when I awoke. The morning light was filtered, heavy, and I knew it meant only one thing- fog. The famous mountain fog, blown in from the coast only a handful of miles but worlds away, had moved in and with it a chill. It was the perfect weather for growing a sensitive grape like Pinot Noir.
I didn't need to look at the clock to know the time but I did anyway. 7:38am. I reluctantly threw the covers back and heard the book thump to the floor. I drug myself out of my warm shelter, picked the book up and set on the nightstand. I couldn't remember how much I read but I figured it wasn't far. I grabbed my jeans off the floor and pulled a t-shirt out of my bag of clothes. I still hadn't unpacked. I considered taking a long hot shower but then decided on a long, after dinner bath instead.
I made my way downstairs, following the smell of fresh brewed coffee. Cherry was sitting at the table, a steaming mug in front of her, a glossy wine industry magazine in front of her and a pair of small, stylish black glasses perched on her nose. She tilted her head up a smiled warmly at me. “Cute?” she asked, setting the magazine down and removing the glasses. She inspected them and then put them back on. “I found an old pair of James’s readers in the sitting room. They work too. What do you think?” She turned her head from side to side so I could get a good look.
“They look nice. For being glasses and all.” I smiled at her and made a beeline to the cabinet where I grabbed a ceramic mug. I filled it with coffee, the heat causing steam to rise lazily up. When I turned around, Cherry was watching me quizzically.
“Since when did you start drinking coffee?” she asked.
“Not too long ago,” I replied while adding cream. As I added several spoons of dark sugar crystals I tried to remember exactly when I got hooked on the dark sludge.
“Well. Aren’t you a little young for it?”
I laughed as I pulled out the chair next to her and sat down. “Aunt Cherry, do you know how long the line is at Starbucks in the morning? Since they put one in by my school, I see half my class there every morning. And you can get coffee drinks in the cafeteria now.”
“Seriously?” she asked, concern on her face.
I laughed again. It was not common to meet an adult who was so out of the loop. “Yes. I bet kids around here drink it too. It would probably be more noticeable if there was a coffee stand anywhere near here.”
“Oh they won’t put one of those corporate places in Boulder Creek,” she said as she replaced her glasses and picked her magazine up.
“Yeah,” I sighed. “I know. They probably load up on energy drinks here.”
We sat in amiable silence for several minutes. While she read, I sipped the warm, sweet coffee and stroked Kitten’s soft head. When she finished her article she set the magazine down, pulled the glasses off and folded them up then crossed her fingers and looked at me.
“You want to work today?”
“Sure, I guess,” I replied.
“Good,” she slapped the table, “let’s get a move on.” She stood up and I downed the coffee, regretting it instantly as it was still very warm. She carried her mug to the sink, and I did the same. I then went into the mudroom to put on my ratty old shoes and followed her out the door.
We were instantly surrounded by her many dogs, obviously waiting for her to emerge and feed them. We waded our way through them and off the porch, some followed, and several surrounded me, sniffed me and tried to engage me in play. I tried to shoo them off and lost my footing when one dog bumped into me.
“Morning ladies,” AJ greeted. I hadn’t noticed him. I gave him an awkward smile, embarrassed to be caught off guard- again. He didn’t seem to notice.
“Morning sunshine,” Cherry beamed at AJ. I looked back and forth between them, his eyes glowed back at her with the same kind of affection I saw in her dogs.
“Brad told me to check in with you this morning and see if you had anything for me to do.” He directed himself to Cherry, but he tossed me a quick look. I stood behind her and slightly off to the side, my arms crossed over my chest to fight off the morning cold.
“Yes, I would love for you two to get a jump start on spring cleaning the barn. The stalls need to be stripped, the tack room aired out and all the saddles and bridles cleaned.” She continued with her list, but I had stopped listening. She wanted me and AJ to work together. And from the sound of it, all day. I just wanted to hibernate and not be forced to play nice with AJ.
Apparently, someone had said something because I realized they were both staring me. “What?” I asked distractedly. I shifted my weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other and tucked a piece of hair behind my ear.
“I asked if you wanted to grab a pair of rubber boots from the mud room,” Cherry said.
“Oh, yeah, that's probably a good idea,” I replied and waited a moment to see if anyone was going to say anything else. They both continued to look at me, Cherry with her eyebrows raised and AJ with a small amused smile on his lips. “OK, I'll do that now,” I said and pivoted quickly. I wanted away from them.
“I'll meet you in the barn,” AJ called after me. I waved my hand in response.
I went back to the house an in through the kitchen door. To the left was the area Cherry called the mud room. Really it was a short section where the washer and dryer were and where she had placed a bench and coat hooks. There was an assortment of riding boots and a couple pairs of calf length rubber boots. I debated between a pink pair and the traditional dark green. I didn't want to give AJ any fuel for fire so I chose the green, even though they were too big. I thought about grabbing another pair of socks but figured I wouldn't need them once the fog lifted. If the fog lifted.
I crunched across the gravel yard alone. Cherry had already moved on to the office and AJ to the barn. I walked slowly, not in a hurry to begin my day of chores with AJ, and frustrated that I let it affect me so much- that I let him affect me so much. Why couldn't it just be easy like it had been when we were kids? Why did he have to change and be arrogant? I realized that over the past couple days these thoughts had become reoccurring.
The fog surrounded me, and I was acutely aware of how quiet it was. Visibility had become very low; I was approaching the Barrel Barn but could barely make it out. I turned and looked behind me only to see the house had already disappeared, lost in a moist cloud. I tried not to let it freak me out and picked up my pace, figuring it was better to be in the barn with AJ than to be isolated in the endless fog.
When I entered the barn, I noticed AJ had written the chore list on the white board. As I read it, he walked up and stood beside me.
“Where do you want to start?” he asked.
“Doesn't really matter,” I replied.
“I tried to write it down in order of importance, just in case we don
't get to it all today,” he walked away from me and I watched as he started opening stall doors. He had already let all the animals out and closed the back doors so they couldn't come in while we worked.
“You really take your job seriously,” I said.
He opened the fourth and last stall, entered it and came out holding the water bucket. He said nothing as he walked out of the other end of the barn, poured the dirty water into the grass and then set the bucket near the hose.
“Yeah, I do,” he said seriously and then went into the next stall and grabbed its bucket. He repeated the process and then came back in for the next bucket. He grabbed the third bucket but stopped in the stall doorway and looked at me. I was still standing by the white board, hands on my hips. “You can help if you like,” he said a bit sarcastically.
“Ok,” I said feeling stupid. Once again, I had been lulled into watching him. “Where should I start?”
“You can grab a fork and a cart and start stripping the stalls.”
I turned around and walked into the utility area. There was an assortment of scooping forks, wide, short, handled shovels and brooms hanging on the unpainted plywood wall. Large plastic carts lined up underneath them. I grabbed a cart and threw a shovel and broom into it and steered it towards the nearest stall. AJ was outside, hose on and scrubber in his hands cleaning out the buckets. Behind him the white boards of the fence and greenery faded into the gray.