Tree: A Young Adult Fringe Reality Romance
Page 16
“What's going on?” I asked looking at him directly. He tried to adjust his expression but it was too late.
“Nothing, I mean, I don't know, what do mean?”
I froze. Something was definitely going on. Simon was acting strange, nervous and anxious. It was unlike what I had come to know, a relaxed carefree person. Suddenly all the pieces didn't add up. Had he really shown up to the meadow so early? How would he have hidden in the same area Brad came from and not been seen? Granted he could have showed up after Brad but how would he have made it from his hiding spot to behind the tree as I was crossing the meadow without my seeing him?
“Victoria,” he said giving me a strange look... was that guilt? He stepped towards me. I stepped back. I what the hell was going on? I wasn't sure but I knew with every fiber of my being that something wasn't right.
“I didn't see you coming,” I said. I realized I sounded accusatory. “I mean, how did you get behind the tree without me seeing?”
Simon moved in closer to me, took my hands in his and looked me square in the eye. “You’re upset Victoria, let’s both calm down and talk.” His voice was soothing, his eyes soft. His hands had an almost liquid warmth to them. It was hard to maintain my resistance. I was flooding through a wide range of emotions, the strongest of all confusion. My mind was betraying me, I didn’t know what was happening.
“Ok,” I said. He was right, we both just needed to calm down and I needed to think. I looked around again, still worried that Brad would come back. Still wondering where Simon had hid.
“It’s all fine,” Simon said while gently turning my face to meet his. “He’s gone. Let’s sit and breath and we can talk.” He led me over to large section of root and guided me down. I allowed him to, though I wasn’t sure about it. He moved with such ease it was easy to follow.
“What do you think that Brad fellow was doing here?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I paused, considering telling Simon about Brad being in the picture with James and Cherry. I opened my mouth to tell him, but instead said “maybe he’s spying on me. He told me to stay away from here.” I don’t know why I couldn’t tell him, what difference it would make. Perhaps at that moment I didn’t want to make more questions between us that couldn’t be answered.
“Spying on you,” Simon repeated thoughtfully. There was definitely more going on in his head then he was telling me. But then again, that’s how it’s been since I met him. His cryptic smiles, his eyes mesmerizing me into thinking something one moment and then something completely different the next. I gave him a sour look.
“Now don’t turn to grapes,” he said and chucked me gently on the chin. “Come here,” he said while pulling me into him, one hand gently urging my head towards his chest. In my ear I heard his heart beating. I closed my eyes as his arms enveloped me. I let out a breath and felt my body melt into his. Instantly I was overcome with painful emotion. His embrace unlocked my sadness which was always hiding beneath my surface anxiety. Brad, AJ, Simon, the horses, the farm- they were all escapes from the beast of grief that was hiding within me at all times. It was easy to get caught up in lesser dramas as a way to keep the beast at bay.
But something about Simon’s embrace, gentle, strong but somehow strangely knowing brought the beast to the surface. Compared to the beast, nothing else really mattered. The beast, for all the pain that came with it, put things into perspective. But I could not give in. I separated myself from him slowly. I sat up straight and took a deep breath.
“He didn’t want me coming up here,” I said to answer his question, as the embrace had not just happened. “He said there are wild animals up here, cougar and wild boars.”
“Hmm,” he replied. “Those are good reasons not to go romping through the woods alone.” There was a light tone in his accented voice.
“You’re right,” I said. My mind was scattered, I couldn’t commit to any one thought. I wanted to be with Simon, let his light warm me up from the outside in, but… I was confused and felt myself being pulled back to the farm.
He raised an eyebrow at me quizzically; I could tell I was sharing my confusion. “I should go,” I said quietly.
“Hey,” he said and pulled me closer, tried to get me to look into his eyes. “Is something wrong?”
“I don’t know, no.” I looked into his eyes and they were filled with concern, with caring, with understanding. He was so hard to resist. I looked away. “I’m just confused and tired.”
“OK,” he said, “but only as long as it’s not anything I’ve done.” There was silence between us the length of 3 heartbeats. “Vic?”
My eyes shot up into his, for some reason, when he called me by the name AJ used for me it sent an unexpected shock wave through me.
“What?” he asked, officially confused now.
“Nothing, I…”
At that moment, we both heard the snap of a branch not far away. We were both spooked after what happened with Brad. Instinctively Simon grabbed me close, sheltering me from whatever threat loomed in the woods nearby. As we watched, two squirrels ran down a tree and across the meadow in what appeared to be a battle for territory. Though the threat seemed to pass, the adrenaline in both our bodies still had us on high alert.
Simon did not immediately let me go. As the bushy tailed rodents disappeared into the brush both our heads were still turned in their direction, my hands against Simon’s chest, his breathing heavy with his flight-or-fight instinct kicked into gear. At the same moment we turned and looked at each other, our eyes met and no words escaped our lips. Suddenly, we were kissing, my arms around him, his around me. We parted, I kept my eyes closed, locking in the moment. Was life always this deceptive?
I felt his hand move to my cheek. He caressed me softly. “I’ve never met anyone like you,” he said softly. I kept my eyes closed, it felt safer to avoid his gaze. “You puzzle me Victoria.”
After a few seconds I opened my eyes and looked at him. “Why’s that?” I asked quietly, my face tilted up towards his. He released me from hold he had on me for… how long? It seemed like days ago that we watched those squirrels, but it was only a couple of minutes. He walked a few steps into the grass and inspected a few stalks until he found one that was just right. He plucked it from near to the ground and ran the long stalk through his fingers.
“You’re like this grass,” he said holding up for my inspection. “You’re strong enough to survive the rain, you’re flexible enough to withstand the wind, but one could come along and pluck you from the ground.”
I raised a puzzled eyebrow. “Is that supposed to be a compliment?”
He smiled at me, “you decide”.
I sighed in frustration at his very natural ability to be elusive.
“I will let you go today, but only if you promise to come back tomorrow.”
“I will,” I replied and smiled weakly at him. I was relieved that he had showed up but stressed about seeing Brad and how strange he was acting. I was confused and another feeling coursed through me that I couldn’t quite put my finger on, but I knew clearly they were there. Like shadows at high noon, just below me, hovering and waiting for the shifting sun to become clear.
“Ok then, you won’t mind if I see you off to make sure you’re safe then?”
“Of course not.”
He followed me across the meadow and down the trail a ways, parting only when he felt the path was safe enough for me to go alone. I was comforted by his presence as I walked, but when I was time for him to turn around, I felt anxious for his safety walking alone, the long path he took back to his uncles house.
“Ok m’lady, this is my stop,” he said when we neared a fork in the trail. “I will see you tomorrow,” he said as he backed up the trail away from me. He flashed me his beautiful, reassuring white smile. I raised my hand and waved him off. He walked backwards a few more steps then turned and trotted off up the path.
As I walked I marveled at how he just “knew” how I needed him to be.
Had he lingered to say goodbye I don’t think I would have liked it today. Too many things going through my mind, too many feelings swimming around, today was not a day I could take more. I was glad that he had showed up, it was clear his feelings were similar to mine. I didn’t need to ask him, I felt it. I knew it. But all my other feelings were a mess and changed with the tide.
I didn’t know how much time had gone by. It was much harder to keep track of the time when my life didn’t revolve around my cell phone. I looked up to gage the time by the position of the sun, but the towering trees blocked my view. I hurried the rest of the way home.
ELEVEN
The kitchen was ablaze with activity when I walked in. Cherry was setting the table and talking to AJ who was at the sink washing his hands. The lights were casting a warm glow, Cherry smiled when she saw me, the dark green checkered tablecloth invited me to sit. For a split second, life was almost normal. AJ did not look up from the sink. I pulled off my hooded sweatshirt and hung it on a hook by the door. Before I could do anything, Cherry thrust a handful of silverware and napkins at me, presumably to set the table.
She was chatting with AJ about curtains. I found it strange but appreciated the attention not being on me. I was hoping there would be a chance later to tell AJ about seeing Brad at the tree, and thinking about him, I was grateful he was not in the kitchen. I placed three settings of silverware, a reassuring sign that Brad would not be making a visit for dinner.
Cherry and AJ made conversation during the start of dinner that, thankfully, did not involve me much. I was so distracted by my own thoughts that I didn’t pay attention to them, until something she said stood out.
“What was that?” I asked her with my mouth half full.
“Oh, I was telling AJ how much better it will be for him living on the farm,” Cherry responded.
“Living on the…?”
“The farm,” AJ finished. His dark eyes burned into mine. They were hard and angry.
I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out.
“I insisted,” Cherry intervened. “It’s high time you got out of that situation. Please pass the bread.”
I could only assume the “situation” Cherry was referring to was his mother. I glanced at AJ, kind of worried to meet his eyes again, but he was looking down at his food.
“We’ve been talking about this for a while and the time has come to make it happen,” Cherry said. She set her fork down and placed a hand on AJ’s arm. He looked up and smiled meekly at her. The moment passed and everyone went back to eating.
It wasn’t too long before Cherry turned her attention to me. “Tell me about your day,” she asked.
Before I could speak AJ said “yes Vic, tell us about the guy you’re meeting in the woods.”
My mouth dropped and Cherry’s face quickly sought out mine. She wiped her mouth with her napkin and placed it back in her lap. A calculated way to digest shock and buy some time. I waited with my fork in mid air, still stunned. How had AJ known? Had Brad seen me and Simon after all?
“Is that true Vic?” Cherry asked gently.
I set my fork down and adjusted myself in my chair. “Yes,” I replied simply. I tried not to sound defiant, but I was shocked and more than a little angry at AJ.
“Well, tell me about it,” she coaxed. I could tell she was trying to sound normal, as if these things happen all the time.
“His name is Simon, I met him on a walk in the woods. He’s nice. There’s really not much more to tell.”
“Oh there has to be more than that if he’s captured your attention.” Her voice was light and teasing but I could sense her tension. Perhaps she was questioning herself for allowing me so much freedom.
“He’s just someone different to talk to. He’s interested in things,” I said as I threw a look at AJ. He met my gaze with narrow eyes, clearly unhappy about my new acquaintance.
“How many times have you seen him?” she asked.
“A few,” I responded. I was on edge waiting for AJ to push and reveal how much he actually knew. “He’s just a friend,” I added.
“Well, I for one would love to meet him. Please let him know he’s welcome here.”
“I don’t think he would want-“
“Nonsense!” she insisted. “Any friend of yours is a friend of ours.” I could see AJ throw her a look but she just smiled in reply. Even though the exchange was polite, it was quite clear if I wanted to keep seeing Simon he would have to come to the farm and meet the family.
Later, I hurried out of the kitchen at the first opportunity. I had no idea where AJ was sleeping but I scurried to my room and shut the door. I threw myself on my bed and just breathed. It had been a crazy day. I rolled onto my back and placed both my hands on my head, running them through my hair.
The scenario at dinner was strange, annoying, frustrating, infuriating and every other adjective I could think of. How had AJ known? I wanted to confront him- but at the same time I didn’t. He must have followed me. HE must have been the “squirrel” Simon and I thought we were hearing in the bushes. I was angry at AJ, and yet, per my usual way there was something else I was feeling that I couldn’t put my finger on. He cared enough to spy on me. He was certainly unhappy about me seeing someone.
Instantly I was again angry. We had our own mystery about Brad and now I wasn’t able to tell him about what I had seen at the tree. There was no way I was going to talk to him now. It wasn’t likely there would be productive conversation between us. I rolled over, sighed heavily and tried to put it all out of my mind. Sleep. I just wanted to sleep and to wake up and for it all to be a dream. I would be home, my mom in the kitchen, my dad at the computer. AJ would still be a lanky boy in my memory and the redwood pines would be stuck in the tread of my Chuks no more.
I was finally starting to relax when there was a gentle knock at my door. It was so gentle that I thought I imagined it, but I few seconds after AJ quietly said “Vic?”
“What?” I called without getting up. I was mad and didn’t feel like being anything different. He started to say something through the door but I didn’t hear him because I quickly jumped up, threw the door open and said in a loud and angry whisper “Brad was there, he was at the meadow,” and then I closed the door and threw myself back on the bed.
I held my breath, waiting to hear if he said anything, but I heard nothing. He apparently left as quietly as he had came. I felt only marginally better for having told him about Brad, I was otherwise still angry at him for stalking me. What had he seen? He must have seen Simon and I kiss, the anger in his eyes was legit when he looked at me across the dinner table.
He didn’t have a right to be mad! Who did he think he was? He had no claim on me. He had rejected me. He was nothing more than some kid I was friends with once. Things had obviously changed. One of us needed to get the hint.
◆◆◆
My night was filled with terrible dreams. The tree was falling, leaving a huge hole in its place, threatening to swallow me. I couldn’t run away. It seemed no matter what trail I took they all lead back to the tree. The hole was gone and the meadow was uncommonly still, as though it was a painting, and the opening of the tree was on the front side, facing me. Big, dark and mysterious. I heard my name called from the inside, it sounded like Simons voice, but it was AJ who came out. AJ who walked towards me in the unbearable still, AJ who reached out, grabbed me into his arms and cradled me. And together, we started falling.
I awoke with a start, almost falling out of bed. My heart was racing and for a second I was disoriented. It was quite obvious my anger at AJ was behind the dream. I wanted to shake it off and get though my day. I was depressed. Lack of tv, Netflix, snapchat, facebook or any of the other ways I had kept myself occupied at home meant staying in my room was not a desirable option. I was too antsy to read, besides, Simon was expecting me. I was not happy about breaking the news to him that he was wanted at the farm. If I was him, I would take that as my cue to move along.
Thinking about AJ witnessing a kiss between Simon and I brought up a swell of anger and regret. It wasn’t that long ago that I had felt… something with AJ. I wasn’t entirely sure that something was still lurking somewhere. Being rejected by him wasn’t pleasant, but it had nothing to with what I felt with Simon.
I pondered this as I wondered up the trail that led to the tree. AJ was strong, familiar. He was basically a part of the family. He had known me as a kid, there was history there. Simon was… I thought about it for a while. What was it about Simon? He seemed to know me. He was intuitive in a way guys usually aren’t. It was more than the accent and good manners. As I walked I looked at the dapples on the trail caused by the sunlight breaking through the branches high above. Was I stalling? I had to be. Simon had been mine, my little secret, and now he was something I had to share with everyone, open to the judgment of all, and I was not anxious to hasten his exposure to everyone.
He was waiting for me when I arrived, my steps quickened when I saw him. Nothing was out of the ordinary. He smiled when he saw me and I felt myself smiling at him in return. He was a magnet and I was metal- drawn to him- willing or unknowingly unwilling. Right away he kissed me. It was unexpected and passionate. Hot with urgency. When we parted, his eyes held mine. He kissed me again, a gentle peck on the lips that feigned innocence.
He grabbed my hand and led to me our spot in the meadow. He laid down and guided me to lay across him, all the while saying nothing. We laid together silently for a while, just being in the moment and warmed by the sun.