by Cara Dee
"Ah—fuck." He didn’t even try. He sank into me and shifted around my fingers, focused on the pleasure. The funny times were over, and I fucked him gently, adding a third digit. "So good…"
Ellis decided when he was ready for more, and I instructed him to keep his cock hard for me. I kissed him passionately and positioned the head of my cock as he stroked himself tightly but slowly. Then it was a slow, torturous test on my self-control that followed. Forehead to forehead, I breached the first ring of muscle, and I grabbed his jaw and kissed him hard before I lost it. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He felt too good.
It didn’t help that he spurred me on. By palming my ass, he forced me deeper, and I buried myself all in with a strained moan. The discomfort in his features was evident, and he didn’t seem to care. For that moment, he was in charge again, not satisfied until I was fucking him properly.
"You're killing me," I growled—or possibly complained in a much less primal voice. "Are you sure you're not in—"
"Don't fucking stop." He took my mouth with his. "I've thought about this for too long. Don't stop."
I thought back on how much he'd loved fingers the first time—hell, anything with at least one ass involved. The man had found his playground, and I had won the motherfucking lottery.
The tension built up. Knowing he was taking as much pleasure from this as I was when I bottomed opened up all kinds of doors for future fun. I pictured long nights of driving each other wild, weekends of hard, sweaty flip-fucks, and a lifetime of being myself and playing across the entire spectrum.
"So hot," I panted, peering down between us. "Are you seeing this, love?"
"Yeah." He swallowed and stroked his cock a little faster, clear fluids seeping out of the slit. I licked my lips, fucking thirsting for him. "God, you feel amazing, Casey…" He let out a groan as I pushed in, and then he was back to kissing me—a bruising grip on my jaw that only ignited me further. "You're mine, aren't you?"
I nodded once, and a traitorous whimper slipped out. "I'm close."
He hissed, and for the last leg of the race, we grabbed at each other to leave marks. The frenzy caged us in, the air around us thick with sex. Between the moans of pleasure, the groans of exertion and aching muscles made us chase faster. And then we were gone, me slightly before him because I couldn’t fucking hold back. He clenched down hard around my cock and elicited a gasp from me.
My chest rubbed against his, the wet sounds of come and oil driving me crazy. I rocked into him a few more times, and I was beyond spent, yet the feeling of pushing my cock through my release inside of him was its own high I couldn’t get enough of.
Messy sex was the best sex, and I collapsed on top of him when I couldn’t hold myself up any longer.
"We're gonna need to keep towels down here." I swallowed dryly, my heart going a mile a minute. "Maybe a box with stuff. Lube, a couple toys…"
His cock gave a small twitch from where it was trapped between us, though it could have been from his orgasm. Either way, it made me snicker tiredly.
"Why stop there?" he chuckled lazily, out of breath, and drew his hands softly up and down my arms. Goose-flesh warning. "While we're at it, why not a video camera and a sex swing?"
I grinned and pinched his side. "Looks like you've gotten a load of funny in you."
He rumbled a laugh.
*
"Why are you smiling?" Ellis asked irritably, lowering the heat on the stove. "You think it's funny we're arguing?"
I smiled wider and took a sip of my coffee. He was genuinely ticked off with me, and it was okay. I had logic on my side. He didn’t.
"You gotta admit, we're cute when we fight," I told him. Pajama bottoms and graphic tees made everyone cuter. "Plus, this is a milestone in our relationship."
He wasn’t amused one bit. "This is serious, Casey. Silly milestone or not, I loathe fighting—particularly with you."
That was sweet, although it wasn’t fucking silly.
"I don't disagree. It is a serious matter." Setting the mug down on the kitchen island, I smoothed down my bed head as I heard Haley coming down the stairs. "Little ears approaching. Also, I'm right and you're wrong."
He threw me a frustrated look, then continued flipping pancakes.
Haley scowled sleepily and rubbed her eyes as she stopped in the doorway. "Hi."
"Good morning, sweetheart." Ellis had a smile for her.
"Morning, baby." I patted the stool next to mine. "Did you sleep well?"
She nodded, and I helped her up, which wasn’t enough. She merely used the stool as a footrest and sat her butt down on the countertop. "Did you and Uncle Ellis have another sleepover?"
"We did." Best part of being family, spending a lot of time together was normal. "We ate all your leftover candy and broke in to your piggy bank." I waited for the shriek.
First, she dropped her jaw. And then… "Daddy!" The sound was shrill as fuck.
"I'm kidding. Come on, would I do that to you?" I leaned in and peppered her with kisses.
"Not funny!" she huffed and pushed me away.
"You truly are a menace this morning, Casey," Ellis muttered.
"Yeah," Haley laughed.
I raised a brow at her. "Do you know what menace means?"
She shrugged and shook her head.
Then she couldn’t know I was one. End of.
"We're not going to Lincoln and Adeline's for brunch," I told her. "You know what we're gonna do instead?" I leaned in, as if to say something exciting. To her, it wasn’t. "We're gonna buy a hot tub for the backyard." 'Cause Daddy got a huge discount.
"Um, okay…" She wrinkled her nose.
Bored with the adults, she declared she was going to watch cartoons until breakfast was ready. Her little feet ran away, and Ellis and I faced each other at the same time, both ready to speak. So I nodded for him to start, and for some reason, that earned me a strange look.
"What? I thought you were going to say something." Maybe I got it wrong.
He frowned. "I was. I am. I just wasn’t prepared to be allowed to go first."
What the crap was he talking about? "I don't understand. Allowed?"
"Well, yes." His shoulders stiffened. "See, this is the whole thing with Marilyn. I won't bad-mouth her and say my word never matters, but the floor is hers first, and if she's certain about something, she won't listen. This is why I detest arguing. I only end up shutting down to make it stop."
I had a feeling his marriage wasn’t unique in that regard…
"Ellis." I left my seat, brow furrowed, and wondered how I could put this. I didn’t have any eleven-year-old relationships behind me. In other words, he would know this better than me. "I get it, and I can only draw on the experience of watching my folks. They fought wrong and turned to passive aggressiveness, then gave up. It wasn’t worth it. And, I guess what I'm saying is, a fight is worth it to me if we're on equal ground and no one is trying to put the other down." I paused and rubbed my neck. Was I getting this right? "Look, I'll always be honest. If something's wrong, I'll bring it up. I can't guarantee I'll always fight fair or be rational, 'cause emotions can twist shit up, but the enemy is never you. I mean, problems are meant to be solved, yeah? And sometimes we can't get there without fighting, but then at least the solution is the goal. Does that make sense? It's not like picking a fight because you have a problem with a person."
Ellis cleared his throat and turned off the stove, and he appeared to have a shitload on his mind. "I think I understand. Of course, I wouldn’t expect anyone to stay rational at all times. I'm hardly a saint." Leaning back against the counter, he sighed and folded his arms over his chest. "I apologize for thinking a fight with you would be the same as it is with Marilyn."
I lifted a shoulder. "You were with her for a long time. It'd be weird if you didn’t have some patterns to break."
"God," he muttered, scrubbing his hands over his face. "You have no idea how refreshing open communication is."
I snorted softly and stepped
closer, one of my hands landing on his hip. "I'm sure we'll get stuck in plenty of ruts."
"I have no doubt." He smiled faintly and touched my cheek. "New relationships are easier too, but I have my priorities in order this time. For you, I'd fight."
I stole a smooch, then a pancake. "This includes sometimes fighting with me." I chuckled and dodged him when he tried to poke me in the ribs. "None of that. Back to the issue with Marilyn. I think you misunderstood me earlier." Chewing half the pancake, I phrased myself better so he'd get it. "I understand. You're not her biggest fan—"
It was his turn to snort.
"I understand, Ellis," I repeated. "And I'm not asking you to spend more time with your ex-wife-to-be. I'm asking you to be on better terms with the woman who's carrying your son. There's a huge difference." Knowing Haley would soon announce she was starving like a kid in Africa, I opened the fridge to pull out the rest of the food. "This applies to Marilyn, too. Whatever grudges you guys have, you gotta bury them ASAP. She can't treat you like an ex, either. Draw boundaries if you need—just…dammit, you gotta get along with your baby's mother."
It was important on so many levels, most of all for the child.
"This is personal to you." He said it like it was a revelation.
"Maybe." I concentrated on the bowl of strawberries, seeing if there were any bad ones. It was a job that couldn’t be half-assed and required my full attention.
"Casey? Tell me, please."
Knew this honesty bullshit was gonna come back and bite me in the balls. I'd say ass, but that was actually enjoyable. Something I'd discovered on the yacht.
"You don’t want to be in my position, that’s all." I planted my hands on the kitchen island and mustered a firm expression. "In your case, it would be good for everyone involved if there was no bad blood. Even for me, if you want me to be a part of your son's life—"
"Of course I do." He tilted his head, concerned.
I nodded once and swallowed. "Good. Me too. And it will be easier for me to try to smooth things over with Marilyn if you do it, too."
"Ah." He took a seat by me and covered my hand with his. "You're right—I know. You're right. I'm only seeing this from the bitter ex-husband's point of view."
"Are you bitter?" I hadn't gotten that impression.
"Perhaps not," he conceded. "However, I have no desire to be friends with her. But again, you make a good point. I have to leave the past behind me in order to start fresh with her in another way—as the baby's mother." He coughed lightly. "It's possible I'll need your help with that."
I could do that. He knew it, too.
"You know I'll be here," I told him. "Talk shit over with her, though. You don’t wanna get off on the wrong foot and make it worse because you have different approaches."
He pressed his lips together and inclined his head. "Consider me schooled. Now, you weren't done telling me how this is personal for you. I suspect Haley's mother is the reason, as well as your parents."
"Incubator," I corrected him. Kendra was no mother of Haley's. Over my dead fucking body. She gave up that right when she split, and her suddenly changing her mind and trying to come back didn’t mean anything. "But, yeah. Not being on good terms with the person you created another life with can get ugly."
Someday, the one who had to suffer from that was Haley.
Speaking of… "Daddy, I'm super hungry!"
I blew out a breath, and Ellis squeezed my hand.
"We'll take care of it together, okay?" He waited until I surrendered with a nod. "It's our mess, right?"
"Our mess," I huffed a tired chuckle. "Yeah."
Chapter 17
In October, I felt like I was on the top of the world. Ellis and Marilyn made a breakthrough and agreed to be civil; if I remembered correctly, the words tentative friends were used. And it seemed to work as long as they focused on the baby—or anything that wasn’t their failed marriage.
Another triumph came the day before yesterday when I got an extra $70,000 for my green park project. The numbers spoke for themselves during my presentation, and it was money they'd be getting back, and then some.
Ellis and I sucked at taking things slowly, and he spent most nights at the place we both called home. Although we went on dates like any other new couple, I was pretty sure we enjoyed the lazy mornings in bed and late-night coffee dates on the porch more than going to a restaurant.
It messed with our heads to find this transition so easy, something we chalked up to us having known each other for years. While a crapload of things had changed, we were the same people in the sense that we could predict certain things. If he told me he was into something, I had six years' worth of knowing him to determine if it was out of character or very him.
Pulling in at the parking lot outside the school where I was picking up the girls, I pretended to be a drummer and used the wheel to tap out some of my jitters.
I didn’t know why I had jitters. Ellis and I had agreed to tell Ade and Lincoln we were dating this Sunday, and I didn’t think that was gonna be a problem.
As I checked the time on my phone, I thought I could text Ellis, but a message from Marilyn popped up right then and there.
Hello, Casey. I have some pressing matters I'd like to discuss with you in regards to Ellis and my son. Rather, your involvement. Do you mind if I come over after work?
I rubbed my forehead, the unease spreading through me like wildfire. This is it. Things were going too fucking smoothly, and now…now, fuck.
Swallowing the rising anxiety, I fired off a quick reply.
Yeah, sure. I'll be at home.
And Ellis wouldn’t be. He was in and out of meetings all day and would be home late. I should call him, though. Unless he already knew she was coming? No, he would've given me a heads-up.
Drumming out the jitters was an impossible feat now, so I turned to Beyoncé. When life gave you lemons, she knew a thing or two about lemonade.
I was going to need vodka with mine.
"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck." I tossed the phone on the seat next to me and rested my forearms on the wheel. Was my face draining of color? It felt clammy all of a sudden, and my stomach twisted painfully.
What about my involvement? My involvement so far included sending links to reading material to Ellis, and whenever he had questions, I did my best to answer them. Was that so goddamn horrible? She couldn’t stop me from being around, could she? Shit.
I forced myself to function. The clock hit three, and I left the truck.
Ellis would never agree to it. I was pretty sure.
He wanted me to play an active role in his son's life.
I wanted me to play an active role in his son's life. Didn’t people realize I got attached? Sharing pictures of baby furniture for a nursery while we were at work wasn’t for shits and giggles. Granted, I was the one who initiated most of that talk. Ellis appeared cautious, once admitting he worried he was imposing on my life, or the house I'd recently bought. I didn’t function that way—evidently. Thanks to that motherfucker, I was now all in.
I clenched my jaw and accidentally glared at a fellow parent who was here to pick up their kid. Yeah, I seriously wasn’t fit for public consumption anymore—not after that text. I was gonna worry myself halfway into a panic attack until I'd seen Marilyn.
Within seconds, I was surrounded by preschoolers and their teachers signing off kids to their folks.
Haley darted out with a carefree smile and gave me a quick hug. "I thought Auntie Ade was picking us up. It's 'sghetti night!"
"She got held up at work, but I'm taking you there." I nodded to her teacher and grasped Haley's hand. "Let's go get Lyn."
Lyn was waiting for us across the playground when we got there.
"Hi, Uncle Casey."
"Hey, hon. We ready to go?" I grabbed her backpack for her.
The girls chatted among themselves, making my job easy. At this point, I wasn’t sure I could fake interest in whatever they said. Bags thrown in the b
ack, seat belts attached, the right music playing, we were off.
I drove farther up the hillside to where Ade ran her organization. At the end of the road in the northern part of the district, the gated property couldn’t be more remote before it was all woods and cliffs that shot straight up from the ocean. I idled outside the gate and dug out my ID, and I showed it to Hernando, despite the fact that he knew me by now.
He let us through, and the gates opened.
"You remember how to act in here, ladies?" I eyed Lyn and Haley in the rearview. Ladies was the keyword.
"Yeah, no yelling or running," Haley answered. "No scary stuff."
"We'll behave," Lyn promised.
"Good." Because some of the women and children—and a few men—who stayed here could get triggered by anything from the lightest touch to the faintest sound. Ade and her staff worked hard to keep this a safe environment to recover from whatever abuse the residents had escaped.
After parking next to Adeline's car, I ushered the girls inside where I nodded politely at the receptionist.
"Is Ade in her office?" I asked.
I learned she wasn’t, but the lady was gonna call her for me, and we could wait in the office. So we crossed the little lobby, passed the corridor where the first floor's rooms and studio apartments were, then got to the hallway with three offices, the last one being Ade's.
Haley and Lyn weren't strangers to this place, and they bounced over to the couch they called theirs. Other than a corner decorated for children, the office was fairly empty, not counting Ade's desk. Or the walls filling up with drawings and pictures.
Restless and antsy, I stood in the middle of the floor and checked my watch every fifteen seconds.
"Hi, Mommy." Lyn waved, and I looked over my shoulder.
"Hi, guys." Ade walked in with a smile, though she faltered when she saw me. "Are you okay, sweetie?"
I was that transparent, huh?
I nodded once and rubbed a hand over my jaw. I was so tense I barely noticed. "Yeah, sorry. Long day at work."
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. Why don't you come over for spaghetti night, too?" She closed the door behind her and walked over to give the girls kisses.