Edge of Survival

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Edge of Survival Page 17

by Toni Anderson


  Well, this was going to be embarrassing.

  Daniel took a step back into the dark room and jerked his head to tell her to come inside. She was careful not to make a sound as he closed the door, flipped the latch and stayed silent.

  It was pitch black inside his room.

  Vikki chatted loudly in the corridor, her laughter piercing. She was sending Cam a message, coded in subtlety perhaps, that she’d already been here and done that. Reminding Cam of her vehement promise a year ago never to touch Vikki’s castoffs. And although Cam hadn’t come here to sleep with Daniel, the image of them together was now locked in her mind, and she felt hot and more than a little aroused. Her breathing sounded nervous and rough in the darkness. She couldn’t see a damn thing and didn’t know where he was. After a few moments the footsteps passed. It was quiet now in the corridor.

  She started to inch toward where she thought the door was. “They’re gone—”

  “Hush.”

  She jumped. He was nearer than she’d expected.

  “Why are you here?” his voice was soft, almost a whisper.

  She curled her fingers around the tablets, unnerved by the darkness. “I was worried you were sick and came to check on you—”

  “What are you? Sixteen?” His fingers tipped her chin, but caught her bruise and she flinched away.

  “Ouch.”

  “Your pathetically low pain threshold has been noted, Doc. I’ve been shot and made less fuss.”

  “You are so brave.” Sarcasm was lost on him. She knew he was purposely trying to annoy her, to push her away, because his words didn’t jive with his actions.

  “No. I’m not.” He grew serious again and she felt the change in him, even though she couldn’t see his face. A difference in his energy and focus.

  “Why are you really here?” He sounded resigned.

  Oh God. She was trembling. She was actually shaking. Until this moment she’d convinced herself she was here to check up on him, to make sure he was all right, because he forced everyone so far away he could be seriously ill and no one would know or care. But he was a grown man and didn’t need a nursemaid watching over him.

  She wanted to live life to the fullest? She wanted a challenge? Well how about being honest for once? After that first kiss she hadn’t been able to stop thinking about him. And after that pretend sex they’d shared today, well, she hadn’t been able to get rid of the buzz in her bloodstream, despite a fist to the jaw and passing out. She wanted Daniel Fox in the most basic way possible. And she wanted him to want her too.

  “I want to have sex.”

  She heard the catch in his breathing and knew where he was standing. When she reached out, she touched his chest, stroking her hand over the hot ridge of muscle covering his heart. She felt him shaking. Of course, he might have a migraine or be laughing his ass off at her inept attempt at seduction.

  She dropped her hand away. “But if you’re sick, I’d better go…”

  “I’m not sick.” His voice was thick. And the next thing she knew he lifted her by the arms, pulling her to him, pressing his lips to hers in an out-of-control kiss that shocked her with its intensity and lack of finesse.

  She dropped the tablets, heard them rattle on the floor, and held on tight. His grip hurt and he tasted dangerous; there was no other way to describe it. Like fire and sweat and savageness that scared her. He was so much bigger than she was, so much stronger. His kiss was hungry, ravenous.

  A starving man…or an addict.

  He carried her backward until he reached his desk and kicked the chair away.

  Hearing it clatter to the floor, Cam gasped and pulled back, breathing hard in the darkness.

  “I thought you wanted to be quiet?” Her voice came out in a squeak. She always thought of herself as fearless, and this trip she was finding out just how wrong she was.

  “The cabin next door is empty and there’s no one else on this deck at night. You can scream your heart out, sweetheart, and no one will hear you unless they’re standing right outside the door.”

  He’d stopped kissing her and started thinking again. She could feel his thought processes kicking into gear as he prepared to change his mind.

  Dammit, she didn’t want him to change his mind. She’d only just realized she wanted him, and her body was begging her to follow through with her desires, to take a risk. She was sick of being the sensible one, the cautious one. The one who only dated after really getting to know someone, the one who needed a ring on her finger before she got laid. She pulled her T-shirt over her head and unclipped her bra. She took his hand and placed it over her breast.

  It was dark and Cam was grateful.

  Her nipple grew hard in his palm, arousal pulsing through her body. He stood there as if stunned. He wasn’t even breathing hard, and she sounded as though she’d run a mile uphill. She sounded turned-on and desperate—like all Daniel’s women. And even thinking that, even knowing that she was just one of many, she still wanted him. So maybe she was the addict because she couldn’t control the words coming out of her mouth.

  “Please, Daniel. Please let’s do this. I want to feel you inside me.”

  His breath brushed her lips and she braced for a kiss. But he leaned around her, his movements jerky as he searched for something behind her. The light flared and Cam swallowed because this was the moment of truth. She sat on his desk. Naked from the waist up. And he still didn’t touch her, he didn’t move. But his eyes burned.

  She climbed to her knees, unclipped the fanny pack she habitually wore and put it on the shelf behind her. As she twisted, Daniel spread his hand over the curve of her ribs.

  “Your skin is so soft.”

  She closed her eyes. His hands were large, the skin slightly rough, but his touch was gentle. The pad of his thumb brushed one of the injection sites on her tummy, a sweet caress, and he leaned down to place a kiss there too. They didn’t look too bad in this light but she was used to them.

  What did he think?

  She stopped worrying as his tongue worked its way up the side of her body, then he swiveled her around so she faced the wall. He kissed her neck, nibbled the outer shell of her ear while his hands searched for the pins in her hair. Her hair tumbled down in a mess of curls and, for the first time ever, felt sensual and erotic as it lay across her bare shoulders.

  He pulled her toward him so her naked back was pressed against his rock-hard chest and he felt incredible, tight, hot skin-on-skin. His hands wound around her waist, cupping opposite breasts, making them swell and her nipples peak.

  Her blood pulsed thickly through her veins. “Daniel?” She didn’t know what she was supposed to do from here, she couldn’t touch him the way she wanted. She felt gauche and inexperienced.

  “I’m not going to make love to you, Cam.” The words were gruff as his beard scratched her skin.

  Disappointment rose in her even as he undid her jeans. He slipped one hand inside her panties and his fingers teased. “But I’ll give you what you want.”

  Thought scattered. She arched up, head thrown back on his shoulders. She just wanted him inside her, but he was scraping his teeth over the junction of her neck and shoulder, one hand banded across her stomach as if to hold her in place as his fingers sank deep inside her. She groaned. He increased the pressure on the tiny nub of flesh that begged and pleaded for her to spread her legs wider and take anything he had to offer. She immediately flew apart with such force she cried out his name, flashes of color burning through her closed lids.

  “Damn. I wish you could see yourself.” He continued to stroke her, nipped her neck, causing sensations to quiver through her body everywhere he touched. “I knew this would be good, Doc.” He still held her imprisoned with that one hand, as if scared she might move. “But this is still just sex. I don’t want you tangling it up into anything more complicated than lust just because I can make you come.”

  She wanted to argue but he drove deeper, rediscovered her nipples and simultaneous
ly zeroed in on her G-spot. It felt so amazing. Her heart banged crazily and her breath came in short sharp pants. Daniel played her body like a virtuoso. Oh my God. She was spinning again, cartwheeling through space. When she finally crashed to earth, she realized she was alone in her ecstasy.

  This was not what she wanted.

  He was too controlled, too calm and too damn detached.

  He’d removed himself mentally. As soon as he’d stopped kissing her lips, as soon as he’d turned her around so he couldn’t see her face, he’d become mechanical. The moves were perfect, and her body was begging for her mind to shut up and take what he offered. But he was treating her as if she was just another woman. Just another easy lay. And while it might feel better than she’d ever imagined, she needed more.

  They might not love each other, but he meant something to her. He had to mean something, else she wouldn’t be here.

  She took the arm that pinned her and pried it loose so she could swing around to face him. He didn’t try to stop her, but his eyes hooded.

  “It can be ‘just sex,’ Daniel.” She planted a hand on his chest and pushed him back as she climbed off the desk. “But this is you and me having sex, not some nameless hookup. I don’t sleep around.”

  He watched her through half-closed eyes, hiding all his thoughts and emotions beneath sharp blue glitter, but now he was breathing hard. He looked pissed, which made her feel better.

  “I want to have sex with you, Daniel, because I like you. I think of you as a friend.”

  His eyes dropped like magnets as she inched her jeans down her thighs, stripping her panties with them. She kicked them away. Naked except for her medical emergency bracelet. “Think you can cope with the concept of having sex with a friend without imploding?”

  She didn’t let him think about it. She undid the button of his pants and slid the zipper over the length of him. She eased down his shorts and cradled him with both hands, never breaking eye contact.

  “I don’t usually mix the two,” he admitted, his voice rising to a groan.

  She raised her brows. “You’re going to have to man up.” And she dropped to her knees before him, holding him firmly, else she was pretty sure he’d have bolted. She trailed a tongue down the center of his stomach, feeling him swell with her touch. She wanted to drown in lust. She wanted to explode with passion. Her body cried out for freedom in this one small thing.

  “I just hope you can keep up,” she murmured. She felt him twitch, felt him go rigid with anticipation, the muscles in his thighs bunching as if he might pull away. He wasn’t breathing easy. He wasn’t in control. He had his hands in her hair as she made love to him with her mouth. And when she started to hum at the back of her mouth, he put his hands on her shoulders and groaned. “Enough.” And dropped to his knees.

  Cam smiled as she grabbed the hem of his jeans and pulled them until his feet hit the floor with a thud. He was naked. She was naked. And he wasn’t looking quite so detached anymore. In fact, he looked panicked. And annoyed. And hot. For her.

  It gave her the confidence to straddle his hips.

  His eyes flared. “I want to see you.”

  “I’m right here—”

  He flipped her on her back and she squeaked.

  “I want to see you.” And he kissed her, tasting like darkest sin, like double chocolate without insulin, like pure malt whisky injected into her bloodstream.

  A tight sensation built low in her belly. His lips and tongue explored hers, kissing her deeper, becoming more insistent as his entire body pressed against her. His strong thighs moved between hers. She ran her toes up the back of his calves, exploring the difference in texture of their skin, the crispness of his body hair. His hands cradled her head. He abandoned her mouth, placing sweet kisses on her cheeks, on the bruise on her chin, on her eyelids and nose. Her thighs relaxed and she spread her legs wider, loving the satiny hard feel of him against her. She could feel the restrained demand of his body, but was absorbed by the rampant sweetness of his mouth on her skin.

  The innocent teasing kisses stopped as the thick ridge of his penis pressed against her. They both stilled and looked at one another through lash-covered eyes.

  The feeling of need was biting at her now, biting at her control, but she would not beg. She wet her lips, wanting to feel him inside her, and squirmed, imagining him there, but knowing they needed protection.

  “Do you have a condom?” she managed.

  He leaned over to yank open a desk drawer and pulled out a whole box. “I have shares in Trojan.”

  She ignored the comment, knowing he was still trying to cheapen the experience in case she fell madly in love with him and followed him around all day with puppy eyes. Well, she could be clinical too. “Good. Do you want to do it here, or on the bed, or on the desk? Missionary, doggy, bondage—”

  “Shut. Up. Cam.”

  She shut up and grinned, but only because he’d called her Cam. He was trying to get into the foil package and failing. He threw one away and tried another. His fingers shook and Cam laughed and held out her hand. She’d thought he’d have more finesse.

  “Let me do it.”

  She took the package from him and used her teeth. His eyes flared as she removed the condom and crooked her finger to get him to come closer. But he had other plans and his dark eyes gleamed. He leaned over and started kissing her again, trailing his tongue over her breasts. She writhed and twisted, but he never let her get close enough to touch him the way she wanted to. And she really, really wanted to touch him. Strange that she’d blinded herself to the notion for so long.

  He stroked his fingers up her ribcage and down her tummy, smoothly but firmly as if memorizing the contours of her body. She shivered and let her head fall back as she gave herself up to sensation. His touch raised a trail of heightened excitement across her skin that left her nerves stimulated to overload. Their skin burned. Then he nudged her knees apart and she finally got to reach down to stroke the hard velvet length of him and protect them both.

  She was quivering as if she was on a sugar low as he inched forward, probing to find her hot wet center. She’d thought she’d known the difference between love and sex but she’d been wrong. This felt more intense and powerful than any time she’d fancied herself in love with her fiancés. Maybe he was right, or maybe he was just damned good at sex. Her fingers tightened on the powerful muscles of his back.

  Although, dammit, he could get a move on, she was desperate here.

  “Daniel,” she urged, raising her hips in mute appeal. “I want you inside me, now.”

  He smiled that killer smile. “Cameran Young, you are such a hussy.” He held her gaze as he finally pushed deep inside and it felt wonderful. He filled her completely, moving slowly but firmly, easing her hips up off the floor.

  Too quickly Cam saw stars fall in the depths of his eyes and shattered into a million pieces of light. Daniel drove deeper and harder, trembling to hold himself up. Before she could recover, before sight and sound returned, he cried out her name as he joined her.

  Chapter Fourteen

  The Impossible We Do Every Day, Miracles Take a Bit Longer 4404thCSG/PERSCO Dhahran AB, Saudi Arabia

  Daniel lay awake in bed, Cam pressed snug to his side, her hair spilling over his chest, her naked body warm and super-soft. There wasn’t much room in the single bunk and it should have been uncomfortable. It wasn’t. He needed to wake her up and send her back to her cabin so he could get some sleep. He didn’t. Right now, for a couple more minutes, he was content to lie and listen to her breathe. They’d made use of the floor, the desk and finally the bed before she’d fallen asleep. He brushed her hair off her forehead and placed a kiss there because she was sound asleep.

  Abstinence had to be an aphrodisiac because it had been a long time since he’d managed three times in one night. Although he was usually drunk and once was normally enough.

  But not tonight.

  Obviously his libido had decided if he was going to
fall off the no-more-sex-this-trip wagon he would fall off it in spectacular style.

  And he’d known the moment he’d found her at his door that he wouldn’t be able to keep the vow he’d made to himself. The whole time she’d been talking, he’d been imagining her naked and trying to remember if it was sex or one-night stands he’d sworn off. Because if it was only the latter he was in for one hell of a tour. He’d tried to scare her into leaving, tried to make her be the one to walk away because he couldn’t do it. But she hadn’t gone anywhere.

  He didn’t understand his hunger for her.

  The sex stuff should be a cinch because he’d gone for months without getting any in the past. And it hadn’t been a problem. He’d done things far more difficult in his life than resist a woman. Selection and that soul-draining forty-mile escape and evasion marathon through the merciless Welsh mountains carrying seventy pounds of gear. And abstaining from sex wasn’t even close to enduring jungle training in Brunei or jumping out of airplanes over the Irish Sea or swimming a mile in full kit. He’d resisted interrogation better than he’d resisted Cameran Young’s bare breasts. Maybe that was what the Regiment needed to weed out losers. Stacked, naked, bossy women.

  Fuck. Even thinking about her perched on that desk turned him on again, and he needed to get a grip. The scent of her hair teased his nostrils. It smelled fresh and spicy like ginger. Although, God knew, even when she stank of clove oil and fish, he liked being close. Obviously he was worse off than he’d realized.

  She stirred uneasily against his chest, which was now slippery with sweat. Her hands clenched into tight little fists and her breathing sounded short and choppy. He eased away from her and placed his hand on her brow. Shit. She was burning up.

  “Cam?” He touched her shoulder but she mumbled and pushed him away. Her hair was wet and clung to her brow, her lips looked dry.

  “Cam!” He shook her harder, fear gripping his heart with needle-sharp talons.

 

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