by Linzi Baxter
“You need to change back.” Arrow’s voice was low and demanding.
Kayda took a step away from him, but Arrow didn’t back down. He kept his hand on her. Seconds later, the air changed again, and her sister shifted back and dropped to the ground in human form. Arrow rushed Kayda into the helicopter to take her back to Kia’s.
The mission was over, and Diem had her sister. Gideon hadn’t come for her again. Does that mean he no longer wants anything to do with me? They were supposed to be mates, but he’d stayed back.
17
Gideon
Gideon hated each day more than the next. His life felt empty, and he contemplated leaving his house and heading to Ireland. He took another swig from the bottle. He wasn’t even using a glass. The expensive liquor was wasted on him. He couldn’t even get drunk to drown his sorrows.
But his mind was a mess. It was too late. He’d stayed back and helped Kirin clean up the lab. Diem had left with her sister. Family—something he didn’t have but wished he did. Now he sat in his large house and did nothing—not much different from before she came into his life.
Everything was shallower without her. The sun was dimmer. Even his magic seemed to be weaker. That should have worried him, but he couldn’t muster up the energy to care.
More and more memories had flooded back over the past week. There would be a time when he would have to call Kirin and tell him about everything he’d done, even if he hadn’t had control of himself.
He glanced to the side. His phone was turned off. Kirin had called a bunch of times. Gideon hadn’t answered. Diem was at Kia’s house, and if he talked to Kirin, he would ask about his angel—the one he was desperately trying to stay away from.
He wasn’t good enough. Nothing could erase Diem’s scream as her sister was changed. Because I let my guard down and let her get kidnapped.
He just needed to leave—to go somewhere and focus on his magic and figure out a way to make amends with all the people he’d wronged. The list was large and would take him years to get through.
Instead, he glanced at his desk at the picture of Diem that Ethno had sent to him. It was of them at the waterfall, her small red bikini barely covering her body. She was laughing at something he’d said. Damn. He missed the sound of her laugh and the touch of her hands.
He heard the door to his house open. It wasn’t locked. But he couldn’t hear any footsteps, so it had to be a shifter—either one coming for revenge or Kirin. He hoped it was one coming for revenge. Maybe a fight would bring back some feelings in his life. He rubbed his hand over his heart.
Kirin walked into his study and glared at him. The dragon was pissed off. He walked across the study and sat in the leather chair across from Gideon’s desk and raised an eyebrow at the bottle of scotch. “Why do you even waste money on that shit?”
Gideon shrugged, grabbed the bottle, and took another swig. At least he could feel the burn of the liquid as it went down his throat. That was the only thing he could feel.
“Do you barge into people's homes uninvited often?”
“Only when they are being an idiot,” Kirin shot back.
“I’m not getting into this with you, so unless you want to talk about the council or sports, the door is open for you to leave.”
“Why are warlocks such assholes?”
“And dragons are any better?” Gideon downed the last of the liquor and threw the bottle in the trash. It was his last one. He’d gone through three, and he didn’t feel any different. “What do you want, Kirin?”
Kirin shook his head and let out a sigh. “Here’s the thing. I knew Talia was my mate the second we touched. Yes, I thought about bringing her in because you asked. But the more I knew my mate, the more I knew I would do anything to protect her, even if that meant going against you.”
“Right there is the reason I don’t deserve Diem.”
“Yes, I wanted to kill you more than I wanted to take my next breath. But everything that happened during that time is on Kael, not you. Talia doesn’t hold it against you. Neither do Lucy and Nyx. What they will kill you for is hurting Diem.”
“Is she still at Kia’s house?” Gideon asked.
“Everything is a mess. Kayda’s struggling with her dragon. Lucy is working night and day to try to figure out how to calm the dragon down. And now there is Arrow.”
“What’s wrong with Arrow?”
“Lucy and I think Kayda is his mate. Alida had told him a few months back that he would be finding his mate soon and not to fight the pull. Arrow refuses to believe Kayda is his mate. He’s told me the story of how his mate died, but Gideon, how many wolves have stayed sane after their mate died?”
None. Most wolf shifters turn mad when their one true mate dies.
“He loved her,” Gideon said.
“Just because he loved her didn’t mean she was his true mate. You’re more than a thousand years old. Over that time, did you ever love someone? You don’t need to answer. I see the look in your eyes. It tells me enough. But did that feeling even come close to how you feel about Diem?”
“You know, I wasn’t answering your calls for a reason. Who knew you would turn into a therapist? How the great fall.”
“You think I like talking about this emotional shit? No, I don’t, but you seemed to be hardheaded. There’s a woman who is sad, thinking you don’t like her, because you have your own head so far up your ass that you can’t see what is right in front of you.”
“My memories are coming back.”
“Why the fuck are you just telling me this now?” Kirin asked. “This could be the key to a lot of unanswered questions and to helping us make sure that all the facilities are shut down.”
“I planned to call you tomorrow.” He’d had the same plan the day before. He kept putting it off. Now he had to let Kirin know what he knew.
“Bullshit. I know memories of Diem came back to you when you touched her scar. When did more come back?”
Gideon swallowed hard. “When we were leaving the lab, something changed. The gates opened, and everything flooded in at once. The bad, the evil, and the horrible things I did. I’ve done no good in the last hundred years. Tons of shifters and humans are dead because of me.”
“Wrong. They're dead because of Kael. So you did evil shit for the last hundred years. You’ve been alive for over a thousand. That’s just a portion of your life. And now you can spend eternity trying to fix what you did wrong.”
“What happens if Diem can’t accept it?”
“Jesus, man. She’s your mate. And you won’t know unless you talk to her. You’re sitting in this creepy house, thinking about all the shit you did and the reason you can’t be with her instead of the reasons you can.”
“You’re right.”
“Of course I’m right,” Kirin barked. “Now, when are you going to get your ass over to Kia’s and get your woman?
“I can’t yet. There are things I need to take care of and things you need to know before I see her.”
“Diem would want to help you with this.”
“I can’t take her away from her sister.”
“I think you’re stupid, but what do you need to fix?”
“Diem and Kayda’s mom is still alive,” Gideon said.
“And you’ve waited a week to go find her or even tell Diem her mom is alive? What the fuck, man?”
“It's not that simple. Kael told me to kill her. I didn’t. Some of Kael’s orders I fought. But I worried she would look for her daughters.”
“What did you do?”
Gideon let out a sigh. “I used dark magic to block her memories and create new ones.”
“How hard would it be to reverse the effects of the spell?”
That was what he was struggling with. He could try to reverse the spell, but there was a chance he would wipe her current memories and not retrieve any of the old ones. “I’d say it’s a fifty-fifty chance that things go as planned.”
“Do you know where she is?” Ki
rin asked.
Gideon had called in a few favors and was working on finding her location. Nothing had come back yet. “No. I’d taken her to California, but there are no hits on her name.”
Kirin nodded and pulled out his phone. Kia’s voice came over the line. “Have you knocked some sense into the old wizard yet?”
“No,” Kirin growled. “Are you away from Lucy?”
“Yes.”
“I need you to find someone, and you need to keep it quiet.” Kirin glanced at him. “What is the woman’s name?”
“Jasmin Rose,” Gideon replied.
Gideon knew it wouldn’t take long for Kia to find the information his sources couldn’t. The sound of Kia’s fingers on the keyboard sounded over the phone. Kirin sat with his arms crossed, waiting for his brother to find something.
“You want to give me any information on the person I’m looking for?” Kia asked.
“It’s Diem and Kayda’s mother. Gideon’s memories are coming back.”
“Holy shit!”
“That’s one way of saying it,” Gideon grumbled.
“There was a woman by that name who lived in California, but she changed it a few years ago. She didn’t go through the regular channels. The person did an okay job hiding the paper trail, but I’m better. Her name is Catharine Reynolds now, and she lives in… Coopers Hill.”
Coopers Hill was only an hour's drive away. Gideon had to take care of this before he could see Diem. “Text me the address.”
Gideon grabbed his phone off the desk and headed for the door. Kirin stood and grabbed his arm. “I think you should talk to Diem before doing this.”
“I need to fix the past.”
Kirin shook his head. “I’ll come with you.”
“Not going to happen. I need to do this on my own.”
Gideon parked his car in front of the small white home. A woman was gardening in the front yard. She was an older version of Diem and Kayda. A kid rode his bike by and said hello to her, and she waved.
He knew that sitting in the car, watching her, was creepy and that he needed to go fix his past. But how do you explain to a woman that you wiped her memory and that she has two grown children who are dragons? He pinched the bridge between his eyes and took a deep breath.
When he shut the car door and made his way across the lawn, the woman smiled at him.
“Catharine?”
She stood and dusted the dirt off her pants. “Yes?”
“I was wondering if you have a few minutes to talk.”
Maybe this was a bad decision. Catharine would probably call the cops on him and have him committed.
“Yes. You want to come in and have a cup of tea?”
Gideon tilted his head to the side. “It’s not safe to invite men you don’t know into your home.” Humans were way too trusting.
Her smile dipped for a second. “I know who you are, Gideon.”
His gut clenched. The spell he’d cast many years before hadn’t worked. She turned and walked into the house. He took a deep breath before he entered the house and followed her into the kitchen. Catharine grabbed a pitcher of tea from the fridge and two glasses.
“Do you remember everything?” Gideon asked.
“No.” She frowned. “But I do remember you promising me I would be safe and had nothing to worry about. You also said you hoped to see me again one day.”
Her words triggered another memory. Pain shot through his head, making the room go dark. He hated it when this happened. Why can’t all my memories come back at once? The day she was talking about was after he’d wiped her memory.
He’d vowed to take Darius down, and then his control slipped. Kael took over, and Gideon didn’t remember his promise. So many years had passed since the promise.
“Why did you change your name?”
“A few years after you helped me get settled in California, someone started to follow me. I could never see the person. It was a feeling. After a while, I had the urge to move to West Virginia.”
Shit. She didn’t remember the supernatural world. “I have something to explain, and I need you to listen to the whole story. It’s going to sound far-fetched, but please keep an open mind.”
For the next half hour, he explained who Darius was and told her that she had two daughters. Gideon powered through retelling everything. Catharine had tears streaming down her face. At no time did she interrupt him. She just nodded that she understood.
When he was done, she asked, “If you reverse the spell, I will remember?”
He couldn’t believe she wasn’t laughing at him. “Yes, but it’s dangerous. You could just meet your daughters and form new memories.”
“I want to remember.”
“You’re taking this way better than I thought you would.”
She smiled for the first time since he started telling her the story. “There’s always been an emptiness in my chest, like I lost something. And I’ve known there was more to the world than what I can see.”
“You should hate me.”
“Hate has no place in the world. My daughters are healthy and fine. Their dad is dead. Everything in life has a way of working itself out. Why add more hatred to something when we can look at the good side? I’m going to meet my daughters. And every time you say Diem’s name, your eyes brighten. I know you care about her.”
“I love her.” It was the first time he’d said the words out loud.
She reached across the table and patted his hand. “Then you need to tell her that.”
“I’m not here to talk about me. I needed to tell you about your daughters.”
“What do we need to do to get my memories back?”
Gideon hoped his idea would work.
18
Diem
Each day, it got harder to get out of bed. Diem wanted to sleep and forget about the world around her. The beast who used to be loud barely spoke to her. It had been more than a week since she’d changed.
Kayda’s attitude wasn’t getting any better. She was a bitch to everyone, and she wouldn’t talk to her. In the beginning, Diem had pretty much begged her sister to talk. She didn’t even know why she was still at Kia’s house. It was time to move on. Gideon wasn’t coming for them. He’d moved on.
She knew Kirin and Kia had talked to him because every so often, she would walk into the room, and they would change the subject. Being a shifter, she knew what they were talking about way before she entered the room. Gideon had gotten memories back, and he was working on some special projects for Kirin.
Things would be easier if she left. But where would I go? She didn’t have a car or a job. Since her dragon barely made a sound in her head anymore, maybe she could go back to being a pilot.
“He’ll come for you,” Alida said.
Diem jumped. Over the past month, Alida would pop in and out of the house, scaring the crap out of her each time. But very rarely would she pop into Diem’s room without her parents.
“Where’s your dad?” Diem asked.
Alida walked across the room and sat on the bed next to her. “He’s with Uncle Kia in the computer room, and Mom is home with my baby sister. He misses you.”
Diem felt the tears well up. She wasn’t going to have a conversation about her feelings with the young girl. Alida wouldn’t understand. “It doesn’t matter. He’s not here.”
The young girl's eyes flashed white for a second. “He’s trying to fix things. I told him not to fight the pull.” Alida frowned.
Diem couldn’t hold back the laugh. “The grumpy thousand-year-old warlock only listens to himself. Maybe things are better this way. I think it’s time I pack and go on my way.”
The last thing she wanted to do was overstay her welcome at Kia and Lucy’s house. She’d become good friends with Lucy. But they were already taking care of her sister. She couldn’t keep expecting them to take care of her. It was time she left. Maybe she would head down to Cassadaga and spend time in the fairy gardens.
Lucy walked into the room and looked from the girl to her. “Alida, I think your dad was looking for you.”
“Okay.” Alida jumped off the bed and turned toward her. “Just wait a little longer.”
Diem didn’t have time to respond to the girl’s statement before Alida vanished. Well, that works when you want the last word.
“Wait for what?” Lucy asked.
“I think it’s time I leave, and if you need me to take Kayda, I understand.”
“You don’t have to leave.” Lucy let out a sigh and sat in the chair near the corner. “Your sister shouldn’t leave. I just need a little more time with her.”
Lucy had worked with Kayda nonstop, trying to find something to help. Diem didn’t think it had anything to do with the transformation. Something was on Kayda’s mind, and she wasn’t opening up. Her sister wasn’t the same person she ’d been six months before, but Diem wondered if she’d really known her sister back then. She seemed to be good at keeping secrets.
“I think it’s time I go. Everything around here reminds me of him, and when I see you with your mate, it hurts.”
She didn’t want Lucy to feel bad or not be the person she was.
“Why don’t you go bang down his door?” Lucy asked.
She’d thought about it, but she was the one who’d gone after him last time. Yes, he went on the mission with her. Yes, he helped her get to her sister. But when everything was over, he hadn’t come for her.
“He doesn’t want me,” Diem said.
“I’m going to tell you something. After the rescue, Gideon had a rush of memories. Many bad things came back to him—things he did over the past hundred years. Many of them, he feels responsible for. He doesn’t think he’s good enough for you.”
This frustrated her more than anything else did because they’d talked about the fact that if he got his memories back, this should be something they worked out together. Instead, he didn’t want her to be part of his team. He only wanted her when he needed her.
“He’s taking the choice away from me. Maybe if I get out of town for a while, I can clear my head.”