“Sunshine,” he whispered, as he put the ring on my finger. “You’re like sunshine. You light everything up.”
I could feel blood heat up my cheeks as I clung to his hand, sensing both his strength and vulnerability at the same time. I found it strange how he made me feel at that exact moment. I felt both powerless and powerful all at the same time. I was vulnerable to him, and I knew it. But I also knew that he was just as vulnerable to me.
That realization immediately spoke to my longing for intimacy. When Corrine finally pronounced the words that sealed my marriage to Derek, I couldn’t wait to have his lips press against mine. Corrine hadn’t even yet recited the traditional, “you may kiss the bride,” and Derek was already holding my waist and pulling me against him, his lips covering mine.
I lost myself in the heat of his kiss. When his lips pulled away from mine, I found myself leaning forward, practically begging for more until I saw a huge grin on his face.
Derek winked at me. “I want to kiss you, Sofia, but if we go on like this, I might end up hauling you out of the wedding reception and right to my bedroom.”
Right then, I became fully aware that we weren’t alone. Our friends and loved ones were still surrounding us. I practically jumped from where I was standing when they began to applaud us – the newlyweds.
“Sofia Novak.” Derek’s smooth baritone pronounced. “Mmm… I love the sound of it.”
As much as we tried to keep a show of chastity during the rest of the wedding festivities, we simply couldn’t keep our eyes or hands off each other. The idea that I was Sofia Novak was still ringing in my head, emphasized even more when our friends approached us with unadulterated glee.
“You did it!” Ashley exclaimed, as she threw her arms around me. “You married a vampire.” She then gave Derek a teasing look-over from head to foot. “This vampire at that. Who would’ve thought? You better take care of her.”
Derek grinned, his eyes focusing once again on me. “I’d better. She’s my life.”
“I didn’t think I’d ever see this happen.” Gavin grinned and nodded. “History is being made right here. Congratulations to you both.”
“I guess we’re sisters now,” Vivienne said, clasping my hands tightly.
“We are,” I responded, as I embraced her. “Thank you, Vivienne…” I whispered into her ear, recalling the price she paid in order to get me back to The Shade not so long ago. “For bringing me back to him.”
She chuckled. “Well, that wasn’t entirely selfless… we all like him a lot more when he’s around you.”
Derek feigned being wounded as he squinted his eyes at his sister. “Hey… I heard that.”
To that, Vivienne just laughed and winked. “I love you both.”
“Here’s to hoping you don’t kill each other,” Cameron teased, as he lifted a glass of wine toward us. “Welcome to married life.”
“Don’t scare them, Cam,” Liana reprimanded.
I felt Derek’s hand tighten against mine and then a sudden feeling of heaviness settled on my chest as we greeted more of our guests. It wasn’t until Kyle approached that I placed the reason behind my sudden melancholy. Seeing Kyle as human made me remember what had to happen tomorrow. We were going to test the cure and we had no assurance whatsoever that it was going to work on Derek.
Kyle smiled at me as if he could read my mind. “It’s going to be okay, Sofia.” He cast a longing look at Ian and Anna who were dancing. He swallowed hard and then looked at Derek. I could tell by the reaction on Derek’s face that he was thinking what I was thinking.
When Kyle left us with his congratulations, I couldn’t help but turn toward Derek and hug him as tightly as I could, clinging to him.
“I don’t ever want to lose you,” I confessed breathlessly against his ear.
He shook his head. “You won’t, Sofia. You can never lose me.”
He sounded so sure of it, but the heaviness in my chest remained. Suddenly, I began to feel greedy for him. I wanted to make most of the time from then until the following day. “Can we go now? Please? I want you all to myself…”
“My thoughts exactly.”
We made as gracious an exit as possible and found ourselves speeding our way to the Lighthouse, another reminder that the moments we were spending together were borrowed. We didn’t even plan a honeymoon, because we weren’t sure if we were going to have one.
Of course, we still wanted our first night as a married couple to be intimate and special, so when I was asked by the girls where we wanted to spend the night, no place seemed more special and intimate to us than the Lighthouse.
“Sacred space,” I spoke out loud, just before Derek pushed me against the door that led to the octagonal room on top of the Lighthouse. I then responded to his kiss, my hands clinging to his neck.
His lips departed from mine. “What?” he asked.
“Sacred space,” I repeated breathlessly, as I twisted the doorknob to show him what we did with the room. “That’s what Rosa called this place. Ashley says that the room has an energy to it… something that says that it belongs to us. Just us.”
He smiled when he saw the room. The sectional couch in the middle of the room was shoved to one side. In its place was a thick mattress with linen sheets and a thick red blanket. White rose petals were scattered all over it. Candles surrounded the room. Derek had them lit within seconds.
“They were right.” He nodded. “This is our sacred space.”
I began to walk toward him, but halted immediately when to my surprise, he stepped away from me. His smile faded as he looked at me from head to toe. His breath visibly hitched as his electric blue eyes rose to my face, causing me to shiver with desire.
I swallowed hard, sensing his tension. His hands balled into fists and his muscles went rigid, as if he were trying to gain control. I didn’t have to ask what was going on in his mind. It’d been a long time since we last made love, a long time since he swore that he wouldn’t take me to his bed until after he’d married me.
I gave him a soft smile. I reached toward my back and tried to unlace my corset. My eyes were fixed on Derek. I actually enjoyed seeing how nervous he was. I knew I wouldn’t be able to finish the task myself so I unlaced it as far as I could before walking toward him and asking for his help.
I couldn’t stifle a giggle when he flinched as I took my first step. “Relax, won’t you?” I told him, unable to hide my amusement. “You’re acting like it’s the first time you’ve ever be with a woman.”
It didn’t help to ease the tense look on his face. I still walked toward him, lifting my hair up so that he could undo the laces. I could feel his fingers trembling as he went about the task.
Once we were able to remove the corset, I turned to face him. I then began to pull his tux off and unbutton his shirt. I was already on the fourth button, when his hand clutched mine, stopping me from continuing the task.
I raised my eyes to his questioningly. “What’s wrong, Derek? Don’t you want this?”
“I want this more than you can imagine right now, Sofia, but…” He gulped.
“You’re not going to hurt me, Derek,” I assured him. “Relax.” I laid my hand over his chest and looked into his eyes. “I trust you.”
I stood to my toes and planted a soft kiss on his lips. It appeared that was all the approval he needed, because his hands clasped around my waist. He no longer tried to stop me from continuing to unbutton his shirt.
Being keenly aware of how precious each second we had with each other was, we made our first night as husband and wife as memorable and sweet and passionate as we possibly could. I was his and he was mine, and on that night, to us, the Lighthouse truly became our sacred space.
CHAPTER 44: DEREK
She’s my wife. I woke up to find her sleeping form next to mine, our bare forms intertwined on the soft mattress beneath us. Waking up next to her, knowing that she was officially mine, that my name was also hers, took my breath away. I couldn’t pry
my eyes away from her lovely face.
Peaceful. Serene. Beautiful.
All the compliments in the world wouldn’t have been able to describe her.
When her eyes opened and her face brightened into a wide smile, it felt like a piece of heaven.
“Good morning, husband,” she greeted.
“Good morning, wife,” I responded.
Then, we both heaved a sigh. I saw despair in her eyes as she ran her fingers against my cheek. I ached under her touch.
We didn’t need to say out loud what was bothering us both. It hung over us like a cloud of premonition and as much as we tried to ignore it, it was there. We had to face the reality that I had to test the cure. There was no other option.
“Do we have to do this?” she croaked out.
I didn’t respond. We both already knew the answer to that. Instead, I pulled her against me, kissed her on the cheek and whispered into her ear. “Everything’s going to be alright, Sofia. I promise.”
“You can’t promise me that.” She shook her head. “You don’t know for sure.”
“You’ve always had more faith than I do, Sofia. Don’t let it run out now.”
It broke my heart when tears started to brim in her eyes. “I won’t know what to do if I ever lose you.”
“You won’t. We have to believe that you won’t.”
I kissed her and once again took her in my arms, making love to her, assuring her that no one could take away from us what we had. I whispered all the assurances I could think of into her ear, hoping that I could convince her and also myself that all would be well. By the time we both reached our climax, she was sobbing. Each sob cut me to the core.
“Sofia…”
Before I could say anything, her lips were on mine, her hand gripping a clump of my hair. Once our lips parted, she gazed up into my eyes and nodded.
“Everything is going to be alright,” she proclaimed, as if saying it with conviction would somehow make it happen. She said the words again. “We’re going to be together.”
I rolled over on the mattress beside her, and we both lay on our backs, breathless. What was to come still weighed heavily on our minds.
“The sun is going to rise soon,” I said, knowing that we had to test out the cure and have me enter the pit before the sun reached its peak.
“Maybe we shouldn’t do this. Maybe we can postpone it… Tomorrow maybe… Or let’s have our honeymoon first,” she begged.
I shook my head. “No. I want to be human, Sofia. I can’t be a vampire one day longer.” I turned to my side and let my eyes fall over her lovely bare form. My stomach turned at the sight of a few bruises on her thigh and neck.
When she realized what I was looking at, she quickly covered up with the blanket. “It’s nothing, Derek.”
“Don’t tell me it’s nothing. I should be able to make love with my wife without worrying about hurting her. You’ve never made excuses for me, Sofia. Don’t start now.”
She rolled to her side to face me. She stared at me with those green eyes, her fears and doubts evident on her face. Eventually, she came to an acceptance of what had to be done and my heart leaped and sank when she did. She shut her eyes and nodded. “Very well then.”
Sofia gave me a soft peck on the cheek before she sat up on the mattress. My breath hitched when she began to pull her auburn mass of hair onto one side of her neck. I couldn’t help but cringe upon realizing what she was getting at. She was offering her neck to me.
“You haven’t been fed for ages,” she said.
“You’re my wife… I can’t… I just… Not anymore.”
“You need an immune’s blood in your system. I would rather we do it here than in front of everyone else. Besides, this is the last time you’ll ever have me this way.” She paused and her eyes met mine. “This is the last time you’ll ever feel the power of my blood coursing through your veins, the last time you’ll feel the ecstasy that it brings.”
I sat up as I took in all of her magnificence. She was a feast to my eyes. Feeding on my young wife on the morning after our marriage was a stark reminder of why I wanted to escape what I had become. The battle raging inside me was now full-blown. The moment I dared look at the nook of her neck, generously offered up to me, my senses went on overdrive, my blood pounding within. I wanted her. I wanted her badly, but a part of me hated myself for doing this to her. I was supposed to protect her.
One last time… I shut my eyes as I drew close to her. One last time and I hope I never have to do this again. I bit into her neck, never missing that short intake of breath she always took whenever I began to drink from her. After this, never again will I put you through this, Sofia, I thought, but then the thought quickly faded into a blur when the effects of her blood running through mine began to consume me.
No matter how much my mind fought against my enjoyment of drinking from her, my nature made it impossible. I drank from her and I drank deep. Guilt took over me and I wondered why. It’s not like I haven’t done it so many times before. Something about that morning was different. I hated every moment of it, but I couldn’t stop until I was satiated. Somehow, my system knew what I was about to put myself through and it was begging for her light inside me, but as I drank, it felt as if darkness was taking hold.
Once I was done, her blood dripping from the corners of my lips, I pulled away from her. My gut clenched when I noticed how pale she looked. She looked my way and smiled. I felt then such overwhelming love for her and undeniable hatred for myself all at the same time.
“I don’t deserve you, Sofia…”
She shook her head adamantly. “You do, Derek, but even if you don’t, it doesn’t matter, because I’m yours.” She spun around and faced me and it felt as if I was completely bare before her – like she could see right through me into my very soul. “Don’t you dare feel guilty, Derek. Not now. Everything you are – even in all of your weaknesses – made everything I am right now possible.”
I frowned, but then with a flicker of insight, I got it. “You’re strong where I am weak.”
She nodded. “We’re both far from perfect, but we’re complements. That’s why we belong together, so right now, I need you to be strong for me. I need you to survive this cure, because I cannot go through this life without you.”
Her words were still swirling in my mind as we made our way to the Pit. A group of people were already waiting there when we arrived – just as had been discussed. The atmosphere was solemn, everyone was silent. Even Aiden couldn’t look me in the eye. Instead, he gave me one quick nod. Sofia then took her place beside Aiden, holding his hand.
It felt like I was about to walk right into my death.
Vivienne approached and opened her mouth to say something, but it seemed she didn’t know what to say, so she just hugged me. It was then that she whispered into my ear, “True sanctuary. You have her blood in you?”
I nodded. “Yes.”
“Are you sure you want to do this?”
I didn’t answer immediately, thinking it through. An image of me walking along the shores of a white sandy beach with Sofia flashed through my mind. A sudden pang of longing hit me. I needed to turn back into a human. It was the only way I could completely get rid of the darkness within me. I needed to step into the light. “More than anything, yes. I want to do this. I want to become human.” I want to become the husband Sofia deserves.
Vivienne nodded. I knew that she understood. Of all the people there, it was my twin who saw firsthand how much I had struggled against being a vampire, how much I wanted to be freed from the curse our own father subjected us to.
We pulled away from each other. I looked into Vivienne’s blue violet eyes, hoping that she would have a prophecy, a vision… anything to let me know that all would be alright. Nothing. Instead, she squeezed my hand and nodded, before stepping aside to make way for Sofia to throw her arms around me and kiss me.
“Don’t you dare make a widow out of me, Novak,” she whispered into
my ear.
A lump formed in my throat and I couldn’t respond to her. Holding her at that time, I actually felt like backing out of the whole thing, but also knew that wasn’t an option. It was too late to back down now. I pulled away from her and kissed her forehead.
“I’m gonna be right here the whole time,” she promised. “I’ll be here when you get out.”
I made my way into the Pit and the doors slammed closed behind me. It didn’t take long before the first rays of the morning sun began to show. And the moment they hit me, I was blinded by the most excruciating pain I had ever encountered.
CHAPTER 45: SOFIA
Only Aiden, Vivienne and I remained to wait for when the first signs of sunlight would arrive. It felt like my heart was being torn from me when I heard Derek scream, a sign that his torment had already begun.
“How long is this going to take?” I asked Vivienne.
“We won’t be able to check on him until the sun sets,” she replied.
Another scream of pain came from inside.
“I want to go in,” I announced, as I moved to open the latch that was keeping the door locked and secure.
“No!” several voices said with alarm.
Aiden and Vivienne were by my side immediately, with my father giving me a stern look and Vivienne giving me a concerned one.
“You’re not going in there.” Aiden shook his head. He then gave Vivienne a look. “Maybe we should get her out of here.”
I could barely make out what he was saying. His voice was being drowned out by Derek’s screams pounding through my mind. What if there’s no cure? What if we got something wrong? “No. I promised Derek I’d stay here.”
“Sofia, you’re torturing yourself.” His voice was firm but not void of desperation.
Vivienne gently took a step forward. “We don’t know what he might end up doing to you, Sofia. We don’t know what’s going on in there. It’s enough that Derek’s life is at risk. We’re not going to risk your life too.”
A Shade Of Vampire 5: A Blaze Of Sun Page 22