“I don’t like leaving things to chance,” Dorian said.
“Sometimes a chance is all you have.” I wiped away the lingering tears and got myself together, putting on a brave face when I felt anything but. I tried on a bigger smile, hoping it looked more genuine than it felt.
“Thank you, Dorian,” I said. “For everything.”
“Don’t do that,” he bit out.
“What?”
“Pretend like we’re good friends saying goodbye. Don’t act like what’s between us is one-sided. I know you feel just as strongly as I do. Don’t use this as an excuse to ignore it, Gwen.”
I laughed, but there was no humor in it. “What do you expect me to say, Dorian? That I love you?” I threw my hands up in frustration. “I love you, okay? I loved every minute with you, even the ones where you pissed me off.” My eyes blurred and I shook my head as a tornado of thoughts swirled through my head. “And giving you and my friends up is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, but it won’t change anything.”
Dorian stepped toward me, his hand coming up to caress my face. He swept a tear away with a stroke of his thumb. A flashback of the first time I saw him played through my head. I’d felt connected to him before I even knew his name, had been drawn toward him even while I was Aiden’s. We could both say that we fought falling, but neither one of us had a chance.
“It changes things for me,” Dorian breathed as he leaned down and captured my lips. He kissed me without inhibitions, without fear of what was coming—or maybe in fear of what was coming. He kissed me as though he could breathe the life that was slipping away back into me. When his hands settled on my hips, my own lifted to wind around his neck. The sensation of our bodies pressed together just felt right, like two puzzles pieces finding each other after being lost. It had always felt like that with him; he had always been that something inside of me that I lacked. I wasn’t sad to lose it because most people go their whole lives never finding what I found in Dorian. All of the times I thought I was unlucky in love hadn’t been for nothing. That tear-soaked path had led me to Dorian, and that was something to smile about.
“I have to go,” I told him, stepping out of his arms.
Dorian was quite for a couple seconds. His head shifted to look up to my apartment and then back to me.
“You’re not going without me,” he said. Reaching down, he intertwined our fingers and started toward the staircase that led up to my apartment.
“Promise me you’ll let it play out,” I told him, already knowing why he wanted to be here. He had already replaced my soul twice and had every intention of doing it again if things didn’t go his way. When he started to reply, I held up my hand to stop him.
“I’m serious, Dorian. This is what I want. Promise me.”
“You don’t understand what you’re asking me to do.”
I nodded. “Yes, I do. This is life, Dorian. We don’t get to choose our fates. The most we can do is hope for the best and watch them play out.” I reached up and cupped his cheek. “If you really do love me, then promise me.”
Dorian lowered his head and shook it. “You’re asking me to say goodbye to you when the only thing I want is for you to stay with me.”
I smiled. “I’m going to fight like hell to stay with you. I’m going to fight to live.” He lifted his head and met my eyes. “But it’s my fight, not yours.”
Resignation crossed his face, though he made it look painful. “Okay.”
“Thank you.” We walked up the staircase and toward my apartment. I didn’t know what awaited me, but an unusual sense of ease washed through my body and calmed my senses. I knew that even if I didn’t make it through the vampire process, I would still be able to see my friends. In our world, death was not the end, and I’d haunt Dorian until he grew tired of me, and then I’d haunt him a little more. The thought made me laugh quietly.
“What’s so funny?”
I shook my head, a smile still on my face. “Nothing.”
“I’M STILL NOT sure if this will help with the magic,” Gwen said as she laid on the bed. Aiden sat on the edge while I stood on the other side. “The magic is all wonky because my soul is supposed to move on. If I’m able to become hybrid, how will it change anything?”
“A lot of people are turned vampire while near death,” Aiden explained. “They too have been marked for death, and yet, as soon as they turn vampire, their souls are wiped from the list.”
“Just like that?” she asked, looking from Aiden to me.
“I told you paths are not absolute,” I replied. “Destinies are constantly changing based on your choices. This could wipe your name from the list.”
“We should have tried this from the beginning,” Gwen said.
“You forget that this is not absolute,” I told her, my voice harder than necessary. “Your body could very well reject the virus, and you’ll die.” She spared me a look but didn’t respond.
“Are you ready?” Aiden asked.
I sure as hell wasn’t, but Gwen nodded. I wanted to stop her, knock some sense into her, but this was what she wanted, and I’d promised her to let it play out. Why the hell had I made that promise?
Aiden lifted Gwen’s wrist to his mouth and bit down. Air hissed through Gwen’s lips before her face slackened and her eyes rolled back into her head. I recognized that look, knew Aiden was injecting the venom that caused pleasure. I hated this, hated that she was feeling desire for another man. I turned my back to them and folded my arms over my chest, trying like hell to ignore the moans coming from Gwen. It was better that the pain was my own instead of hers, I supposed.
I squeezed my eyes and did something I had never done before; I prayed. I prayed for forgiveness, for Him to save her, for her to stay with me. I also prayed for strength should her body not accept the virus, strength to keep my word and let her go. It felt as though the bottom of my stomach had dropped out. My chest was tight. My heart slammed against my ribs as though it was trying to leap out to get to her, and my body temperature dropped as the unknown loomed in this tiny bedroom. The one thing that gave me a sliver of hope was Lauren. She was proof that the hybrid theory wasn’t just a myth. If her body accepted the virus then Gwen’s could too. It had to because I feared I wouldn’t be able to keep my promise. Gwen would hate me, I knew, but I’d live with her hatred if I had to. Walking away from her would be easier than burying her.
Turning at the sound of slurping, I watched as Gwen drank from Aiden’s wrist. He had his eyes closed, his hands fisted in the bed sheets. The fucker was enjoying this. His pleasure pissed me off more.
“How much longer?” I asked, staring at the floor. No one answered me, Gwen too busy with drinking, and Aiden too lost in his arousal. This was complete torture. I started pacing Gwen’s bedroom, every so often looking over at the bed. Gwen gripped Aiden’s wrists in both hands, her lips suctioned against his skin. Aiden was paler than he was an hour ago, but he kept letting her drink from his vein. Maybe if I was lucky she would drain him.
A few minutes later, Gwen dropped Aiden’s wrist and slumped against the bed, closing her eyes. Blood coated her lips, a drop falling from the corner of her mouth.
“What’s wrong?” I asked. “Is she okay?”
Aiden’s head lolled as though it was a feat to lift it. His eyes slowly opened as he stared down at Gwen. “She’s in a coma-like state while the virus spreads through her body. She’ll either accept it or reject it. If her body rejects it, we’ll know within a half an hour or so. If her heart is still beating after that, there’s a good chance she’ll pull through.”
Vampires’ hearts still beat, but the tempo was slower than a normal persons. They needed to beat to push the blood through their veins. Aiden would be able to hear if her heart stopped, but I would have to pay attention to her soul. So far, it was strong and attached to her body.
Aiden bent over and riffled through a small black duffle bag, pulling out three bags of blood. He bit off the end of one and tipped
it up against his mouth.
“Will Gwen have to drink blood?” I didn’t really care, but I needed to keep my mind busy.
Aiden finished the whole bag before he answered me, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. “Yes, but only a little every so often to feed the virus. The amount depends on the person. Lauren drinks about half a bag every week.”
“Will she be able to walk in the sun like Lauren?”
“I assume so,” Aiden replied, biting into another bag, “but it’s not like there’s a list of rules for hybrids. They’re still a very new concept.”
I stopped pacing and sat on the edge of Gwen’s bed, taking her hand in mine. She looked like she was sleeping, peaceful.
“If you or Aaron try to use her for your own selfish needs, I will take my time killing you.” I looked up, making sure Aiden knew my threat was serious. Aaron La’Rue wanted a hybrid of his own, and since Aiden was his child, if Gwen turned, she would also be linked to Aaron.
“Aaron released me,” Aiden said. “I am no longer under his control, other than the fact that the La’Rues are the vampire’s government. Despite what you think of me, I only want what’s best for Gwen. I never would have changed her had I still been linked to Aaron.”
Ignoring him, I stared down at Gwen. I silently urged her to fight for survival, for her body to accept the virus.
There was something hard on either side of my body, restricting me from moving. I quickly realized that I was awake, remembering everything that had happened before I fell asleep. I didn’t feel any different, no vampire spidey senses. Did it not work? If so, why was I awake?
My bedroom was dark, so dark that I couldn’t make out anything other than my window where lightning flashed through the clouds. Poking at the hardness to my right, I snapped my hand back when I felt the softness of skin.
“Dorian?” The body didn’t respond, so I poked it harder. “Dorian?” I said a little louder. An arm tightened around my waist, tugging me into a chest behind me. If Dorian was behind me, who the hell was in front of me?
“Aiden?” I asked into the darkness. There was no possible way I was in bed with my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend. It was too weird, even for me.
“Somebody wake up.” I raised my voice, trying to wedge myself out of the Aiden and Dorian sandwich. In another lifetime, I may have found this situation erotic. Both men shot up, their heads swinging from side to side as though looking for a threat.
“Wanna tell me why you’re both in bed with me?” I asked, ignoring the vivid visuals that question stirred.
“You’re awake,” Dorian replied, his tone awed and relieved.
“Yeah, but I don’t think it worked,” I told him. “I don’t feel any different.”
“You have to drink human blood to complete the transformation,” Aiden said, swinging his legs off the edge of the bed.
“It worked,” I whispered to myself, just now fully grasping what that meant. While the thought of drinking blood grossed me out, the fact that I had survived the transformation outweighed the thoughts of vampirism.
“It worked!” I said a little louder, bouncing on the bed and laughing. Aiden got out of bed and flipped the lights, causing me to blink against the sudden brightness.
“Do you think my name was erased from the list?” I asked Dorian, climbing out of bed. I felt rejuvenated and rested, my muscles languid and tension-free.
Dorian stood up and stretched. The movement caused his t-shirt to ride up and reveal a sliver of washboard abs. I grinned when he caught me staring, arching a flirtatious brow.
“I don’t know if it fixed things or not,” Dorian said.
“I’ll call a donor for you,” Aiden said as he headed out of my bedroom. I wrinkled my nose, wondering if I had what it took to drink blood, let alone straight from the source. I was just getting ready to follow Aiden out when Dorian caught my arm and swung me around. He bent down and lifted me into his arms, my legs wrapping around his waist. He smiled wide at me, his face more relaxed than I’d seen in a long time.
“Do you have any idea how happy I am that I didn’t have to keep my promise to you?”
“About as happy as I am?” At his questioning look, I continued, “Given the choice, I wanted to live, Dorian. But you couldn’t keep bringing me back.”
“Actually, I could,” he smirked, and then leaned in to kiss me. I tightened my arms around his neck and brought my body closer to his, tasting his lips and tongue and devouring the sensations they stirred within me.
“He’ll be here in ten minutes,” Aiden’s voice came from my doorway, suddenly cutting off when he noticed that Dorian and I were in a very intimate position. Sliding down Dorian’s body, I wiped my mouth and nodded toward Aiden, avoiding his eyes. It was still weird to kiss another man in his presence. Our breakup hadn’t been that long ago and, even though it was his fault, I still felt bad he had to witness me with someone else.
“So,” I said as the three of us walked out to the living room, “are you going to tell me what both of you were doing in my bed?”
“I wanted to stay by your side until you woke up,” Dorian said. “I don’t know why he was in our bed.” He made sure to enunciate those two words, wrapping an arm around my waist. The not so subtle gesture at laying claim caused me to roll my eyes. It was obvious I was with Dorian. He made sure to threaten anyone who so much as looked at me. I’d have to deal with his possessiveness later.
“I didn’t want to leave you either,” Aiden replied, glaring at Dorian. “I was exhausted from the bloodletting and must have dozed off.” He leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his chest. “Don’t forget,” he said to Dorian, “I was in that bed before you.” At Dorian’s scowl, Aiden smiled.
“You two are really going to have to get past your hatred towards each other,” I told them. “I’m dating Dorian now,” I said to Aiden. “And he’s my…sire now,” I said to Dorian. “Let’s all play nice to make life a little easier, okay?”
“No promises,” both Aiden and Dorian said at the same time.
Ten minutes later a knock came from the front door. Aiden let the donor in and showed him to the living room where I sat on the couch with Dorian. My stomach was in knots, thick ropey knots that made me nauseous.
The donor was a man around my age with dirty blonde hair and bright green eyes. He was a little taller than my five-foot-seven height and had a runner’s build, lean but muscular. He wore a short-sleeved t-shirt with loose jeans. Compared to Aiden and Dorian, the guy wasn’t so much hot as he was cute.
“Gwen, this is Lincoln,” Aiden said. “He’ll be your designated donor. When you need blood call him, okay?”
I eyed Lincoln and then nodded at Aiden. This was all so bizarre, and a little embarrassing. Most donors got into bloodletting for the high the vampire venom gave them, while others did it for the money. As I looked at Lincoln, I wondered why he did it. Was he an addict or struggling to pay his rent? My eyes traveled down to his throat to search for any signs of other feedings, but his skin was blemish free.
“Hi, Gwen,” Lincoln said, reaching his hand out to me. He smiled and I noticed it made his eyes sparkle brighter.
Slipping my hand into his, I said, “Hi.” Dropping my hand, I looked to Aiden. “How am I supposed to do this? I don’t have any…fangs.”
Lincoln looked from me to Aiden, his brow furrowed. On the drive over to my apartment Aiden had told me that should my body accept the virus, I was not to tell anyone. In Flora everyone knew me as that troublemaking witch. If they found out I was also vampire, the myth about hybrids would get out, or I would be hunted and killed. By the look on Lincoln’s face, I worried I just said something that revealed my secret.
“First feeding?” Lincoln asked.
“Yes,” Aiden answered, sending me a warning look. “She hasn’t gone through the complete transformation yet.”
I visibly relaxed, but my stomach was still in knots. Dorian clasped my hand and the connection helpe
d ground me.
“I’ll bite into his wrist for you tonight,” Aiden told me. “Lincoln, sit down next to Gwen.”
Lincoln did as he was told and sat down next to me. He placed an arm along the back of the couch and smiled down at me. Up this close, I could see flecks of blue through his green eyes, but if he thought he was charming me with that smile, he was wrong.
Aiden lifted Lincoln’s wrist to his mouth and bit down. A hiss escaped Lincoln’s lips as he brought his wrist to me. Blood pooled up out of the twin puncture wounds and made me even queasier. I could not believe I was about to do this. This was my reality now.
“Drink, Gwen,” Aiden instructed.
Hesitantly, I gripped Lincoln’s wrist and brought my mouth down to the wounds. Closing my eyes, I tried to ignore the taste of blood on my tongue and the fact that I was sucking on some stranger’s arm while my current boyfriend and ex-boyfriend watched. Weirdly enough, the taste didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. After getting over the initial embarrassment, I sucked harder and welcomed the salty tang sliding down my throat.
“That’s enough,” Aiden said. “You don’t need much for your first feeding.”
Lifting my head, I wiped my mouth and was thankful for the curtain of my hair blocking Lincoln’s view of me, but I could feel Dorian’s eyes on me. I wondered what he thought of me now, did seeing me drink blood gross him out? He’d never been quiet about not liking Aiden’s vampirism.
“Gwen, I want you to watch this,” Aiden said. Lifting my head, I watched as he pierced his thumb on his fang and rubbed blood over the wounds on Lincoln’s wrist. The two puncture wounds slowly closed, sealing off the holes.
“After every feeding make sure you close the wounds,” Aiden instructed, and I nodded.
Lincoln got up from the couch, slipped his hand into his pocket and retrieved his cell phone. “We should probably exchange numbers.”
“Right,” I said, standing to retrieve my phone from the kitchen table. Lincoln followed me, and we read off our numbers to each other, storing them in our cells. This was like a morning after a hookup, only ten times more awkward. I mean, bodily fluids were involved and everything.
Hexed (The Gwen Sparks Series Book 4) Page 23