Dear Dr. Dyer,
I hardly believe I am writing this letter to you. I have just started reading for the second time your book Real Magic. Many of the ideas in it were already familiar to me, but it seems to be the kind of thing that has awakened in me—indeed really pushed me—to reach out of myself and begin to live and realize some dreams. I appreciate the work you put into it for us.
I am writing you for a purpose. I have a question. Now I don’t really suppose you can pay much attention to every letter that comes your way, but if you have an answer for me, I am sure I will get it.
After a couple weeks of putting some of the things in your book into practice—affirming myself, affirming my life, affirming even my purpose, and visualizing, not just visualizing, but putting love into my imagining it came to me one night just before I fell asleep, that the answer to my dream longing, that my miracle would come in the mail the next day. This knowledge was absolute, and I went to sleep feeling very peaceful. Now, I am a single parent of two children; it is a sheer monthly miracle we scrape together enough to survive—but I have dreams of a peaceful world and I have intentions of transforming it.
The next day my miracle did arrive in the mail—in the form of immediate credit of $7,500—from a bank card. Just imagine, my financial woes temporarily diminished and the ability to purchase the things I needed to begin our family-based company. (We want to manufacture children’s clothing and toys all produced from 100% natural sources and regionally sustainable.) And here it was—enough credit to put out a catalogue and purchase fabric. There was only one problem—the credit wasn’t for me. I had mistakenly opened a letter addressed to a former occupant of our duplex. All I had to do was sign his name and send it back.
So I did. I dashed off a fake signature and sealed the reply envelope before I could think about it. I headed for the mailbox. Oh, I can’t tell you what it felt like to think our dreams were going to become a reality. And I didn’t think my wrongdoing was that great—after all, the person would never know, and of course I would pay the bills on time.
During my bus ride to the mailbox, however, something began to form in my mind. My conscience, of course, but something else. It somehow became very clear to me that refusing to do this dishonest deed meant I was not only doing the right thing but something even deeper—sending a message to my subconscious of trust. That I didn’t need to do this dishonest thing to realize my miracle—that I could trust in my self to do what needed to be done. Now this may not sound like much to you, but Dr. Dyer, for me to realize I could trust in myself is about as victorious as landing on the moon was! I ripped up the poison letter and went home. I spent the rest of the day on a victory “high.”
But now the days have gone by and I’m starting to feel a vague doubt. I’m still visualizing and trying to trust, but occasionally I feel that maybe that credit was a gift from God, and I should have taken it. Dr. Dyer, do you think I did the right thing? If so, can you discern where perhaps I am now going wrong?
Thank you for the time, energy and hope you bring for a transformed world.
Peace,
Rebecca Roberts
St. Paul, Minnesota
Many times what we think we need is not what God is trying to teach us. Rebecca needed to know the value of truth in her life and she received this message by listening to her higher self rather than her money-based ego. In this case, by going with the higher self, she allowed the truth to reign in her life.
I was so touched by her honesty and the questions posed by her ego (guilt over having been so stupid, rationalizing dishonesty as what God really wanted) that I made arrangements for Rebecca to get that line of credit interest-free.
As we know, God works in mysterious ways, but the higher self knows when it is being untruthful. Rebecca’s insight the night before—that her dreams would be answered in the mail the following day—turned out to be true. But she had to pass the test of truth before her dream was answered.
The movement away from phony to authentic begins with the self. You—the invisible presence within, who studied those four keys to higher awareness—in the silence of your being make a new covenant with reality.
You hear the loving presence telling you that you are divine and need not hide by portraying yourself as anything other than what you are. You become able to love any other who finds this difficult and you do not have to alter who you are because you know that deep within you is that unified field of all possibilities. You know your holiness.
Then, as you gain this self-awareness you also grow in the awareness of not being your physical body. You no longer need to project anything other than your peaceful divineness to friends, family and even strangers. You’ve made the transition from phony to real in a holy instant. You recognize your inner sanctity and are willing to forgive yourself for any and all mistakes-now-viewed-as-lessons. You have moved to truth.
The inner knowing that you no longer have to lie or distort anything for the sake of the approval of others or to elevate yourself in others’ eyes is the freedom that truth brings. It took Stuart eight years to get to this point. It has taken me a longer time to come to grips with the value of truth in all circumstances, but it has come to me in moments of satori.
I figure that if Saul of Tarsus, a murdering thief, can be transformed in a moment of holy insight and become the apostle Saint Paul simply by letting in the truth and living it, so can Wayne Dyer admit to his mistakes of the ego and live the truth, and so can you. As Thomas Merton put it: “We must be true inside to ourselves, before we can know a truth that is outside of us.”
Moving from phony to real is first being true inside and then experiencing the truth of living it. As you begin to live these truths, you not only turn your own world around, you also affect the transformation of the world around you. The truth not only sets you free, but it will set the world free as well.
The world’s ego cannot stand up to the celestial light of the truth any more than your personal ego can. The distortions that you see around you—the cheating, lying, stealing and killing—will begin to disappear as we reach within our own individual selves and transform the ego energy.
The distortions and deceptions created by ego are many. In the following paragraphs you will find some of the more common forms that appear in all of our lives.
HOW AVOIDANCE OF TRUTH SHOWS UP IN YOUR LIFE
This section is not addressing con artists or those who lie for personal gain, commit criminal perjury or engage in nefarious deceptions of that sort. What I am presenting here are the ways ego convinces us to consult our false self rather than our higher self in our daily life.
This is not evil double-dealing but rather the learned ways we have adopted of allowing ego rather than higher self to guide us. Here are some of the more common forms that this avoidance of pure truth takes in your life.
Boasting or bragging. An inclination to draw attention to yourself and to misrepresent your accomplishments so that others might view you in a positive, special and separate way.
Factual distortion. Stating facts as you would like them to have occurred rather than how they actually did occur. These little white lies or petty exaggerations, when defended, become a way of life.
Deception to save face or embarrassment. Making up a scenario for the purpose of convincing another that you are innocent of some wrongdoing. This kind of deception means having to keep track of what was told to whom and when. Further distortions get piled on to the original to keep the phony story line going.
Creating an imaginary future scene. Lying about your future whereabouts to hide the truth. You live out your future moments in a false way, knowing before the time comes that you will be living a lie. Your life is a lie in the now and in the future.
Exaggerating facts to gain attention. An example of how difficult it is to discontinue this distortion is found in this little story from Illustrations Unlimited, edited by James S. Hewitt:
A little girl developed a bad habit
. She was always lying. Once when she was given a St. Bernard dog for her birthday, she went out and told all the neighbors that she had been given a lion. The mother took her aside and said, “I told you not to lie. You go upstairs and tell God you are sorry. Promise God you will not lie again.” The little girl went upstairs, said her prayers, then came down again. Her mother asked, “Did you tell God you are sorry?” The little girl replied, “Yes, I did. And God said sometimes He finds it hard to tell my dog from a lion too.”
The practice of changing the facts for the purpose of impressing others can be cute when a small child does it. For adults, it is a way of relying on the ego to keep illusions alive. It will keep you from knowing your higher self, which needs no exaggeration to feel important in the eyes of others.
Overlooking something for your advantage. This story reveals how this can operate in anyone’s life:
A man was given his paycheck and he noticed that he had been overpaid by twenty-five dollars, and he didn’t say a word to the paymaster. The paymaster realized his mistake and the following payday he deducted the twenty-five dollars from the man’s paycheck. The man immediately went to the paymaster and told him that his paycheck was short. The paymaster replied, “You didn’t say a word last week when you received too much money.” The man replied, “I don’t mind overlooking one mistake. But when it happens twice, it is time to say something.”
The practice of spiritual honesty requires one to speak up regardless of whether one is to benefit from a mistake.
Deliberate cheating for your own gain. The practice of gouging others or misrepresenting costs and then putting in hidden charges seems to be a normal practice for those who allow their egos to run their lives.
It has been estimated that American hospitals add excess charges and erroneous amounts on 99 percent of their invoices. Imagine, ninety-nine out of every one hundred bills contain errors that favor the hospital!
This practice is far too common in many businesses and in personal lives too. The feeling that it is alright to cheat others if you can fool them is a way of being that will keep you far from the path of your sacred quest. Instead you will find yourself being cheated by others as you cheat them.
Macho and bravado behavior. The ego’s need to appear better or stronger or more important creates behavior that frightens or manipulates others. Bullying, bragging, strutting, cajoling and the like are all acts of deception that the ego believes will convince someone of your uniqueness and specialness.
Inner dialogues about the dangerous world. Using your mind to have dialogues about how scary the world is is a technique of the ego. The more you can be convinced that the world is dangerous, the less you are able to know your higher self. Preventing contact with your higher self ensures you will not know that you are safe and divine.
Self-deception. Ego convinces you that others are special and that you haven’t a chance because of your inferiority. When you put yourself down with self-deprecating statements and shy away from risks, you are in agreement with ego’s claim that you are weak and unimportant. This deceptive and unrealistic self-appraisal is an avoidance of truth and a tool of the ego to keep you from your sacred quest.
To transcend the inclination toward deception you need to understand why you allow this scenario to rule your life. There is always a payoff for your behavior and thoughts, even the false ones.
THE REWARD SYSTEM FOR YOUR EGO WHEN YOU CHOOSE DECEPTION OVER TRUTH
Your ego is attracted to what makes it special. When you create a picture that accomplishes that objective, false or not, your ego is enjoying a payoff. The more attractive you make the picture with distortions, the more your ego is rewarded. Remember, your ego is your false picture of yourself. It is not your true self.
This inauthentic self thrives on falsity. The more you practice this ersatz thinking and behavior, the less likely you are to consult your higher self and be on your sacred quest.
The use of deceit and deception is a way of ensuring the survival of the ego. The presence of your authentic self would send the ego scurrying away because it would have no purpose. When you are in tune with God, living your spiritual life, you have no need for anything that is not authentic. Your ego needs the deceptive behavior to maintain its own survival.
When you rely upon deception, you are falling victim to the approval-seeking game. Your false self is what you want others to see of you, so you project an image of yourself that is based on distortion rather than reality. This is the same as saying, What you think of me is more important than what I think of myself.
With this attitude, your ego can keep you from taking any risks, including making any spiritual changes in your life. The more you stay in the same skin, wearing the same masks, the more ego succeeds in keeping you from your higher self.
The truth shall set you free is a scary idea for your ego. By keeping you in bondage with all of those distortions, the truth remains unavailable. When truth is unavailable, freedom is too. No slaveholder likes the idea of freeing his servants. Your ego is the slaveholder and those distortions are your chains.
Your ego can convince you of your worthlessness. Who you are is divine and eternal, flowing from a base of love and peace. But your ego persuades you otherwise.
You are convinced by your false idea of yourself that you are without worth, and so you conceal your worthless self with ego’s facade. Otherwise your worthlessness would be revealed for the world to see.
Your ego keeps itself in business by convincing you that you are not loving, not peaceful and not a perfect extension of God. It will encourage you to say or do anything to reinforce this false belief.
Ego loves to see you in a tenuous, self-doubting attitude. You can send ego out of your daily life when you have a strong sense of certainty about your value and do not allow doubt to infiltrate your inner world. Certainty about yourself and your connection to God is blasphemy to the ego.
Remaining uncertain and unsure of yourself is what that false self pressures you to embrace. It will continue to send you messages of distortion in order to guarantee its existence.
These are the payoffs that you receive for allowing your ego to take over and talk you into embracing the false self. Once you have a sense of what it is that you receive from this behavior, you can begin to adopt new ways to bring truth in and get rid of deception and deceit.
SOME SUGGESTIONS FOR RIDDING YOURSELF OF DECEPTION AND EMBRACING TRUTH FULL-TIME
Make an inner commitment to establish a new relationship with truth. The way to make this happen is to catch yourself when you are exaggerating or deceiving anyone, including yourself. Then silently tell yourself that you were about to puff yourself up by overstating the truth. Decide to simply relate exactly what happened—no more, no less—and see how that feels.
You will discover, as you catch yourself immediately before the lie, that you are consulting your higher self, which flourishes in truth instead of giving in to ego demands to be false. You will enjoy a deeper, richer experience of life that feels refreshing compared with the phony presentation of yourself seeking approval.
Become conscious of inner dialogue that convinces you that the world is a scary and dangerous place. Use one of the techniques for engaging in dialogue with the fearful part of yourself. Or, seek a friend or relative, or a support group, where it is safe to be honest about your fears. That scared inner dialogue is an aspect of yourself whose truth needs to be loved and heard, too, rather than obscured with ego camouflage.
As that scared inner dialogue is permitted its truth, you will be able to replace those thoughts with the loving presence that is your higher self. Instead of presenting fear thoughts, your inner dialogue will remind you that God is with you and that you are in a divine universe and are an extension of the divine truth.
With fewer thoughts of fear and danger, there will be less need to distort your experience of the world or to employ deceit.
Be on the alert for inner dialogues that dwell on you
r accomplishments rather than the path of purpose. Recently I gave a speech to a large group of radio broadcasters and was very pleased with my performance. After the lecture, as I was jogging, I was reliving the lecture experience.
At the very moment that I was seeing in my mind’s eye the crowd getting to its feet and applauding, I turned a corner and smacked my elbow into a wall so hard that it sent a sharp pain through my arm that lasted for several weeks. Every time I felt that pain I was reminded to get my ego out of the way and stop focusing on myself. I was reminded of my purpose and my service and not to get caught up in the applause.
Self-flattering inner dialogue is generally ego chatter, which can make you lose your way. Inner dialogue about your purpose in life will keep you on the path.
Engage in mental discipline. Tape this Stuart Wilde quotation to your mirror:
In controlling your ego you tend to melt it. It feels very threatened by its loss of power. But you have to lose yourself in order to rediscover yourself again. Once the security of spirit flows through you, you see how mental discipline heals your life. Eventually the ego relaxes when it sees that the new driver of your personal bus is as steady as a rock.
Mental discipline is what you are after. Suppress ego’s inclination to push you toward a deception. Either say nothing or let the truth tumble out. Soon it will become habitual and you will have removed your ego from its dominance.
Be silent. When you are unsure about whether to tell the truth or distort because you feel that the truth will be more painful than it is worth, then do and say nothing. You are not obligated to anyone to reveal every detail of your life. You have the right to remain silent and learn your lesson in that silence.
In this way you strive to bring the truth that you want to embrace back from the silence. Doing nothing is far more spiritually gratifying than distorting or lying. If the Constitution protects you from self-incrimination, certainly you are spiritually exempted as well.
Your Sacred Self Page 20