“Pardon the interruption, Miss Abby. A telegram came for Miss Lydia. I thought it best to deliver it right away.”
“Thank you, Mr. Griggs. You may give it to me. Lydia’s inside.” Taking it from his hand, she closed the door, looking down at the unopened message. Her brows knit together, wondering what was inside. Lydia had no family or friends outside Splendor, except perhaps one person. Returning to the others, she held the telegram toward Lydia. “It’s for you.”
Reaching out, Lydia’s hand shook as she took the telegram and opened it. Reading the message quickly, a slight smile curved the corners of her mouth. “It’s from Caroline.”
“Caro?” Bull asked, bewildered as to why she’d be sending a message to Lydia.
“Yes. She heard we’d returned with Sam.” Lydia bit her lip before raising her gaze to Bull’s. “She’s invited me to visit her in San Francisco.”
“What?” Bull roared, unable to hide the shock and anger in his voice. “Doesn’t she remember we’re getting married?”
Swallowing her doubt, Lydia licked her lips, her voice shaky as she closed the distance between them. “She says it’s lovely in San Francisco this time of year. I’ve never seen the Pacific Ocean. Maybe it would be good for me to get away for a little while.”
“No. Absolutely not. We’re getting married. If you want to see San Francisco, I’ll take you as soon as I can get away.”
“But, Bull—”
“No, and that’s final. You can stay here a few days to visit with Gabriel, then you’re coming back to the ranch and we’re getting married.” He ran a hand through his hair.
“Um…perhaps it would be best if the rest of us went into the kitchen and let you two discuss this.” Rachel took Dax’s hand, turning to leave.
“There’s no need. The decision’s already been made. Lydia is staying here, then I’ll come get her in a week.” Bull turned to Lydia. “Will that give you enough time?”
Clearing her throat, Lydia nodded. “Yes.”
“I’ll stop at the telegraph office on my way back to the ranch and send Caro a reply you aren’t going to be able to come out right now.”
“No. I mean, I’m sure Abby could take me to town so I can send it myself. It would be better coming from me.”
“Of course I can take you to town, Lydia. Whenever you want.” Abby’s gaze shot between the two of them. She had to admit it sounded odd to have Caro invite her to California when she knew Lydia and Bull had plans to marry.
“See. It’s all settled. Now, why don’t you, Dax, and Rachel start back to the ranch while you have a little bit of sunlight left?” Lydia’s heart thudded at the realization this might be the last time she ever saw Bull.
For an instant, her heart tried to take control. She began to doubt her decision, wanting desperately to stay and marry the man she’d been in love with for so long. Then her head took over, convincing her the right choice was to leave. After the child was born and she knew it was Bull’s, she’d return, praying he’d understand and take her back. Until then, she had to spare him the agony and humiliation of watching her give birth to a child who might belong to another man.
“You’re certain?” Bull asked, reaching out to take her hand.
“Yes, I am. Now, go ahead.”
Cupping her face in his hands, he leaned down to kiss her, ignoring the others in the room.
“I’ll miss you.” His whispered words sent a tremor through her body.
How she wished it could be different. She loved Bull too much to force him into a life he might later regret.
“I’ll miss you, too. More than you’ll ever know.”
Chapter Thirteen
“How many more are missing?” Bull, Travis, and Dirk had left early to do another count. They’d been losing a few head of cattle each week. Not enough at one time to cause great concern, but when added together, the number amounted to a sizable loss for Dax and Luke.
“Three in this herd. I don’t know how much in the other two.” Dirk rested his arms on the saddle horn, trying to figure out what had been happening. “I’d expect twenty or thirty to be missing at a time if it’s rustlers, not three or four. Except we aren’t locating the missing head or finding carcasses.”
“Makes no sense.” Travis whipped off his hat, dragging his arm across his brow.
“It’s time for me to have another talk with Gabe. Maybe some of the other ranchers are experiencing the same.” Bull reined Abe around. “I’m heading into town when we get back to the ranch. Lydia’s waiting for me to bring her home. How’s Isabella doing?” Bull knew Travis and Lena’s good friend, Isabella Boucher, had been seeing each other for several months, although they tried to keep it quiet.
“I guess you didn’t hear. She left a few days ago to visit Caroline in San Francisco.”
Bull’s gaze whipped to Travis. An unfamiliar dread began to work its way through Bull’s body. “No, I didn’t hear. Did she go alone?”
“Nope. Another lady went with her. Don’t know who.”
Before either Travis or Dirk could say another word, Bull kicked Abe into a run, heading straight for the ranch. Jumping to the ground before his horse stopped, Bull rushed up the steps to the front door, pushing it open without knocking.
“Rachel, are you in here?” He didn’t stop until he stepped into the kitchen.
Turning from where she stood at the sink, Rachel’s smile faded when she saw the stormy look on Bull’s face.
“Bull, what is it?”
“Is it Lydia?”
She shook her head, not understanding. “I don’t know what you mean.”
He couldn’t control his angst or the strength of his voice. “Is Lydia the woman who left with Isabella for San Francisco?”
“What’s going on in here?” Dax stepped around Bull. “Are you yelling at my wife?”
Bull ignored him, taking a step forward. “Tell me, Rachel. Is it Lydia?”
Her shoulders slumped, giving him the answer without words. Clasping her hands in front of her, she nodded.
“You knew? You knew all this time and didn’t say a word to me?”
Her voice shook as she reached out to him. “Bull…I—”
He held up his hands, barely able to control his rage. “I don’t want to hear anything you have to say.” Turning to leave, he stopped when Dax spoke.
“That’s enough, Bull.”
“No, it’s not enough. She knew, Dax. Rachel knew Lydia planned to leave me and she didn’t say a word.” He glared at her, unable to comprehend how someone he considered a friend could betray him so easily.
Dax turned to Rachel, disbelief clear in his eyes. “Is it true? Did you know Lydia left?”
Tears began to pool in her eyes. Nodding, she took another step forward. “I hoped she’d change her mind. I thought, given a few days with Abby and the baby, Lydia would see how foolish it was to leave.”
“So you chose to say nothing, hoping she’d change her mind to leave me? Did you know she left a few days ago with Isabella?”
She stared at him, tears running down her face. The misery Bull saw almost changed his mind, but he couldn’t get around the fact she’d kept something so important from him. “Yes.”
Mumbling a curse, Dax crossed his arms, sucking in a deep breath.
Bull’s jaw worked, but he couldn’t manage another sentence. He’d stayed away from town, given her time with friends, done all he could to make her happy, but she’d left him. “I’m sorry, Dax, but I can’t stay around here right now.” He pushed through the kitchen door into the dining room, then stormed toward the front door.
“Bull, wait.” Dax followed, grabbing him by the shoulder to stop him. “Where are you going?”
He shook his head. “I don’t know, but I can’t stay here.” Stepping out the front door, he turned. “Give my job to Travis. He’s a good man.”
“Dammit, Bull. Wait. I’m not giving your job to anyone. You’re my foreman. Look, I’m not happy with what Rachel
did either. I’m sure she has an explanation, but I know that’s not going to solve what’s already happened. Let me help you figure this out.”
Bull swallowed hard. He needed space, distance from Rachel. He couldn’t even look at her right now. “Lydia’s gone, Dax. After all that’s happened, she left anyway.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, he closed his eyes, fighting for control. “I did everything I promised, but it wasn’t enough for her.” He sucked in an unsteady breath. “It just wasn’t enough.”
Taking Abe’s reins, he walked to his house and disappeared inside. A few minutes later, he emerged, bulging saddlebags in his hands, a jacket slung over his arm, carrying his rifle. Dax watched as he placed it all on Abe, then mounted, riding toward him.
“I don’t know where I’m going or when I’ll be back. All I know is I have to get out of here.”
Glancing at the front porch, he saw Rachel clinging to the porch rail, misery clear on her face as she swiped at her tears. He didn’t care. In his mind, friendship meant nothing if there wasn’t any trust. Trust and loyalty were everything to him. Apparently, he’d asked too much. He didn’t look back as he took the road to town.
Dax watched him ride out, having no idea what else he could do or say. Resting fisted hands on his hips, he glanced at the ground, shaking his head before turning around to look at Rachel. Taking slow steps, giving himself time to calm down, he walked up the steps, stopping next to her.
“Do you want to tell me why you let this happen? We’ve lost a good man, a friend, and I don’t know how to make it right.”
Rachel saw the disappointment on his face and heard it in his voice. All week, she’d told herself she had to keep Lydia’s secret, had to protect her request to stay silent. Now, she wasn’t so sure. Lydia was young, ruled by her emotions, making decisions that should have been discussed with the man she so obviously loved and who felt the same. The reasons sounded solid when Lydia explained them. Right now, experiencing the loss of someone she cared about deeply, someone she admired and respected, Rachel realized how misplaced her silence had been. She should have fought harder for Lydia to do right by Bull and trust how he’d react.
Rachel’s eyes were now open. Lydia hadn’t given Bull the respect he deserved when she decided not to confide in him. She’d focused on her own fear instead of on the man she’d come to love. Rachel now knew how wrong that was. Bull would have never abandoned her, never disavowed a child, even if it weren’t his. It wasn’t in him to do either.
“I’m so sorry, Dax. So terribly sorry.” Lowering herself onto the porch swing, she buried her face in her hands, trying to think. Dax didn’t say a word as he sat beside her, resting an arm across the back of the swing, careful not to touch her as he normally would. She knew it wasn’t accidental. He was still mad and frustrated, disappointed in the decision she’d made.
“Why, Rachel? She’d made so much progress. Why would she turn her back on Bull and leave now?”
Sitting up, she drew in a breath, then let it out slowly. The time had come to be honest. “She’s going to have a baby.”
Dax sat up, resting his arms on his knees. “All right. So they decided to be with each other before marriage. We did the same.”
Rachel blushed, remembering the night in her uncle’s house when they’d admitted their feelings for each other. Not long afterward, Doc Worthington had come home and confronted Dax.
“What I don’t understand is why she felt the need to leave? She could’ve told Bull. He would’ve had her in front of Reverend Paige before she had time to—”
“She doesn’t know if the child is Bull’s or White Buffalo’s.”
The air left Dax’s lungs. The thought the baby wasn’t Bull’s never entered his mind. Will this nightmare never end? he asked himself, feeling another wave of pain for his friend.
“Either way, Bull would have stood by her.”
“I told her the same…more than once. By then, fear had taken over. She couldn’t face Bull knowing she might be carrying another man’s child.”
“For God’s sake, Rachel. He saw the ceremony with his own eyes. Don’t you think he knew what could happen by the time he was able to get her out of there? He risked his life and those of many others to rescue her after more than a week of her being bound to White Buffalo. Knowing Bull, he thought all of this through and made his decision long ago.”
“You’re right. I wish I would’ve confided in you, forced Lydia to listen to what you just told me.” She glanced at him. “You should have seen her face the instant she accepted the fact she was with child. It broke my heart.”
“Because she couldn’t be certain if Bull was the father?”
Rachel nodded. “Still, what she did to Bull by leaving will always haunt me.”
“It won’t if we get her back.”
Her eyes widened. “Or send Bull to San Francisco. I know where Caro lives. Lydia and Isabella will be staying with her. Caro offered whatever Lydia needed, planning to sponsor her if she decides to make her home in California.”
“Caro won’t need to sponsor Lydia if we get Bull out there. He’ll set her straight and bring her home.”
Standing, Rachel looked down at Dax, a determined set to her face. “All right. What do we do next?”
“Probably one night, maybe two, Suzanne. I appreciate you making room for me.” Bull reached into his pocket to pull out some money.
Suzanne held up a hand. “You can pay once we know how long you’re staying.” She pushed a journal toward him. “Sign here, then I’ll show you to your room.”
Shouldering his saddlebags, Bull signed, then followed her upstairs. The room she selected looked onto the street still filled with wagons, horses, and pedestrians finishing their day. For the first time since he could remember, Bull felt lost, unsure of what to do next. The woman he loved, would’ve given his life for, turned from him, leaving without a word of explanation. Worse, he’d severed ties with a family he considered his own, and he hadn’t said a word to Luke, his closest friend, a man he saw as a brother.
Tossing his belongings onto the bed, he removed his hat, then poured water into the basin on the counter, splashing the cool liquid on his face. He wasn’t hungry, but he did need a drink, maybe two or three. Drying his face, his brows rose at the loud pounding on the door.
“Open the door, Bull. We need to talk.”
“Luke?”
“Yes, it’s Luke…and Dax. Now, open up.”
Pacing to the door, he turned the handle. “Is everything all right at the ranch?”
Both Luke and Dax ignored his question as they pushed past him, stopping in the center of the small room.
“What’s this about you quitting your job?” Luke crossed his arms, glaring at him.
Bull glanced at Dax before returning his gaze to his closest friend. “I can’t stay. Not with what I’ve learned. Travis is ready to take my place. He’s good with the men and…” His voice trailed off when Luke held his hand up.
“We aren’t hiring Travis as the foreman because we aren’t letting you leave.”
“Look, Luke. You and I may be close, but you still can’t decide something like this for me. It’s my decision, not yours.”
Luke blew out a breath. “You didn’t let me finish. We’re sending you to San Francisco to get Lydia and bring her home. When you return, there’ll be a wedding, then you’re going to take over the Frey spread for us, live in that big house they built, and raise however many children you want.”
Bull shook his head. “Lydia left me, Luke. She didn’t just leave to move into town. She’s traveling to California to start over. I’m not going after her.”
Dax tossed his hat on the bed. “Yes, you are. She needs you now more than ever, even if she doesn’t understand it.”
Bull’s bitter laugh didn’t surprise either man. “She doesn’t love me. It’s why she left. I’ve got no intention of trying to change her mind. It’s over and I’m moving on.”
“Here you a
re.” Suzanne appeared in the open doorway, a tray with a bottle of whiskey and three glasses in her hands.
“They aren’t staying.” Bull picked up his hat. “I’m heading over to the Dixie—alone.”
“Hand the tray to me, Suzanne. Thanks for bringing it up.” Dax took it from her, setting it on a nearby table.
Bull let out a groan of frustration when Suzanne closed the door as she left. He knew Luke and Dax were trying to help, being friends when he needed them most, but they didn’t understand. Watching Dax open the bottle and fill three glasses, he sighed.
“One drink, then you two are leaving and I’m going to the Dixie.” Taking the glass Dax held out to him, he held it, wanting nothing more than to toss it down his throat, then do the same with the rest of the bottle.
“You need to sit down for what I have to say next.” Dax motioned to the bed. “Go ahead. Swallow it. Then I’ll fill your glass again.”
Bull’s brows furrowed, his gaze narrowing on Dax as he sat, tipping back the glass, pouring it down his throat. “All right. What is it you have to say?”
Dax shot a quick look at Luke, who nodded.
“She didn’t leave because she doesn’t love you. Lydia left because she’s with child.”
Bull’s jaw went slack, the glass slipping from his hands to bounce on the wood floor. “She’s pregnant?”
“Doc Worthington’s already seen her. He confirmed it.” Dax grabbed the bottle, then picked up Bull’s glass, filling it again. “Here. You’re going to need this.”
“But…why? Why didn’t she tell me?”
“Because she doesn’t know if the baby is yours or…”
Bull closed his eyes, a curse escaping his lips. Tossing back the whiskey, he cursed again, loud enough to be heard outside. “She believes the baby is White Buffalo’s.”
“She doesn’t know and didn’t want to burden you with a child if it isn’t yours.” Luke stood, pacing to the window, looking out at the crowded street. “What would you have said if she had told you?”
Bull buried his face in his hands, shaking his head before looking up, his eyes signaling his grief. “God forgive me, but I don’t know. I just don’t know.” He stood, grabbing the bottle of whiskey, taking a long swallow. “I know it’s not what you expected me to say, but right now, it’s the best answer I can give.”
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