by Gideon Defoe
ladies, the Elephant Man – and have an exciting trip to the zoo.
‘Gideon Defoe defi nitively puts the “Ho ho!” –
and, indeed, the “Yo!” – into pirating’
CAITLIN MORAN
‘Very funny, very silly and highly original’
ESQUIRE
‘This book has cult smash tattoed all over it’
THE LIST
THE PIRATES! IN AN ADVENTURE
WITH MOBY DICK
The Pirate Captain is in trouble. Eager to appease his crew with a boat that has a functioning mast, fewer holes and cannons that actually fire, he splashes out on the fancy new Lovely Emma, spending six thousand doubloons he doesn’t have. Finding themselves in debt to the beautiful but deadly Cutlass Liz – or the butcher of Barbados, as she’s otherwise known – the pirates need to raise some money fast. In a desperate race against time, our heroes embark on an adventure that will take them from the shores of Nantucket to the bright lights of Las Vegas, to the ends of the earth in search of a mythical white whale, and even, perhaps, into the dark depths of madness. But hopefully they’ll be home in time for tea.
‘Hilarious. Destined to become a classic of pirate comic fiction’
ERIC IDLE
‘Silly, surreal and absolutely and utterly hilarious ... possibly the funniest book I’ve ever read. Guaranteed to put a smile on your face’
IMAGE
‘Funny and entertaining’
INDEPENDENT
THE PIRATES! IN AN ADVENTURE
WITH NAPOLEON
The Pirate Captain has finally had enough. Still reeling from the crushing disappointment at the Pirate of the Year Awards, he decides it’s time to hang up his hat and ditch his cutlass. Begrudgingly followed by his sceptical but loyal crew, the Captain fixes his sights on a quiet
life on the island of St Helena. But his retirement plan is rudely disrupted by the arrival of another visitor to the island – the recently deposed Napoleon Bonaparte. Has the Pirate Captain finally met his match? Is the island’s twenty-eight mile circumference big enough to contain two of history’s greatest
egos? And will the Pirates be able to settle the biggest question of all: who has the best hat?
‘Little slabs of super-concentrated funny’
ANDY RILEY
‘It’s supreme silliness is its charm’
DAILY TELEGRAPH
‘Deliriously Funny’
ARDAL O’HANLON
First published in Great Britain in 2006 by Weidenfeld & Nicholson
This electronic edition published in 2012 by Bloomsbury Publishing Plc
Copyright © Gideon Defoe and Richard Murkin 2006
Map copyright © Dave Senior 2006
All rights reserved
You may not copy, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise
make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or by any means
(including without limitation electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying,
printing, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the
publisher. Any person who does any unauthorised act in relation to this publication
may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages
Bloomsbury Publishing, London, Berlin, New York and Sydney
50 Bedford Square, London WC1B 3DP
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library
ISBN 9781408828861
www.bloomsbury.com/gideondefoe
Visit www.bloomsbury.com to find out more about our authors and their books
You will find extracts, author interviews, author events and you can sign up for
newsletters to be the first to hear about our latest releases and special offers