by Sienna Mynx
His smile faded, when he saw the disapproval on her face. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“Why do you do that?” she asked.
“Do what?”
“Nigga this and nigga that? All the theatrics just to let everyone know you’re pissed. You never say the word when we’re together. And I know I piss you off a lot,” she smiled.
“Don’t start with that shit. You know what it is,” he sighed. AK hated when she talked to him like his mother instead of his woman. Valentina tried to keep her feelings in check about his dual personalities. But she loved the man Earl was. She just couldn’t help but point that out to his alter ego.
“I know what you say it is, but this is your studio, and those are your friends. Are you saying to me you can’t be yourself even here?”
He looked up at her and frowned. “Who says I’m not? There is a difference between nigga and nigger. You know that?”
“Earl, you don’t believe that.”
“As a matter of fact I do. And you know what else. I get that you don’t. I respect it. So I don’t use that word around you. That’s what makes me the man you love. My ability to be the man you need.”
She kissed his brow. She pushed off his lap and went around his chair and put her hands on his shoulders. Working her hands she loosened the tension in his muscles. He eased back in his chair and closed his eyes. Valentina continued to work her magic. He took one of her hands and kissed it.
“I’m glad you came, in fact I’ve been thinking of you all day,” he said.
“Didn’t sound like you were thinking of me when you came in.”
“Forget about that.” He stood and pulled her close to kiss her cheek. “I got a surprise for you.”
“Oooh-wee? A surprise!” she giggled, and then laughed.
He popped her on the butt and went to his desk. Valentina was more than curious. Folding her arms she watched him reappear with a small ring box. Valentina’s first instinct was to bolt. “What the hell is that?” she asked.
“Open it,” he said.
“Why did you get me a ring?” she gasped.
“Just open it, babe.”
She reached for it but couldn’t conceal her frown. Opening it she uncovered a yellow square cut diamond set on a platinum band.
AK walked around her as she stared at the ring. He stopped behind her and put his arm around her waist, dropping his chin on her shoulder. Valentina removed the ring and saw it was connected to a long chain. “I don’t understand?”
“I know my lady. You would run faster than a punk going to jail if you thought it was a proposal,” he laughed. “It’s a promise ring, my promise to you that we gon’ make it down the aisle some day, and this here is going to last. I want you to wear it around your neck until you believe in us enough for me to slip it on your finger. Okay?”
It was the sweetest thing he’d ever done for her. It proved he knew her better than she gave him credit for. “Earl, I can’t believe you did this. I know I’ve been pretty difficult to be with these past few weeks.”
He took the ring and chain from her and put it around her neck. She turned in his arms. She kissed him fully on the mouth. Her lashes fluttered closed in response to the demanding way his tongue curled around hers. His hands went down her curves and she held his face to give him a greater reward. The connection between them grew stronger. The kisses came to a natural end. For a moment they stared into each other eyes silent. She hugged his neck, feeling loved and protected in his arms.
“Now tell me what’s really going on with you? Because I know you didn’t come in here to bust my ass over my diction. What put you in this mood?” he asked.
“I’m cool,” she said. She rested her head on his broad shoulder.
“C’mon, babe, out with it, what is it?” he insisted. He let her go to look into her eyes so he could read the truth. She was a terrible liar. “Say the word and I’ll go out there and tell every one of my folks to drop the ‘n’ word for the rest of the day if you tell me your secrets,” he chuckled. The diamonds on his teeth sparkled.
She laughed. She knew the reaction he’d receive. “I had a fight with Matt.”
AK’s smile faded. “Huh?”
“Over the music. He thinks I’m trying to derail my song because I keep changing up on the tracks. He says that—”
“It’s your album. Who the fuck is he to tell you anything other than what beat works and what mix doesn’t?” AK barked.
“He’s my producer, Earl, and—”
“Fuck that nigg— Fuck him. Seriously, Valentina, I told you, you could record here. I’ll get you a better producer. You don’t even have to put up with him.”
Valentina sighed. “You’re saying that because you’re jealous of him.”
“What the hell do I have to be jealous of? You’re my lady? If anything that white boy is jealous of me,” AK said.
“I should go,” she sighed.
“Why?” AK asked.
“I don’t want to fight with you. We just connected, and I’d rather leave on a positive note, okay?”
“No, that’s not okay. I get it. You were trying to tell me something. Right? Tell you what we should do, bring the sample to the house tonight. Let me hear what you want to do with it. I might be able to help. At the very least I’ve missed hearing you sing,” he said rubbing her hips.
She smiled. “So you miss my singing?”
He swept her up against him and kissed her nose. “I hear your voice in my dreams, sexy lady. You know that. Yes, I miss you singing to me.”
Valentina hugged his neck tight. “That’s why I love you so much,” she said. She wiped her gloss from his lips. “You’re good for my ego, baby.”
AK laughed. “C’mon, let me walk you to the car. I’m sorry but I got some things I have to handle with this Award show bullshit.”
They walked out of his office holding hands. Dirty Red looked over and Valentina caught the jealous glint in her eyes. She knew women like Red. She’d dealt with plenty in the industry. Especially when she dated other celebrities. But this time it was different. Valentina was more than confident in AK’s feelings for her. She trusted him completely.
He escorted her outside. Thankfully those hanging around said nothing with him present. He just had that presence about him. When she was in her truck she rolled the window down. AK leaned in and kissed her.
“Tonight, baby. You coming right?” he asked.
“I’ll be there.”
“That’s my girl,” he kissed her once more and then stepped away. Valentina reversed her truck and drove off.
**
Was Matt’s place closed? The front windows were all dark. She saw his car out front. Valentina walked down the hall and stopped when she heard a voice. It came outside of the recording studio, low and seductive. He was playing the song she wanted to change.
She peeked around the corner and watched him. The side of his face rested in his hand. He was slumped down in his chair. He stared straight ahead. He wasn’t mixing or working on the track, he was listening. In the zone.
Valentina heart weighed heavily in her chest. She had apparently upset him. It was the last thing she meant to do. Feeling the knot of guilt twist tighter, she sucked in a breath of humility and stepped inside.
“Matt?” she whispered.
He jumped and glanced back as if he didn’t expect to see her again. She smiled at him. “I’m sorry. I was being a brat again. I know you’re sick of me.”
“I didn’t know you were coming back so soon,” he said his face a shadow under his baseball cap. Even with the cover he turned away.
“Hey, we okay?”
“Yea. I was wrong. It’s your music. It’s your call. You wrote the lyrics, you’ve been down for the arrangement. It’s on you—”
“No, no. You’re my producer. We’re in this together.”
Valentina smiled. They would get nowhere with all the sappy apologies. “Can I at least show you what I was thinkin
g?”
He didn’t decline. Valentina went inside the sound studio and picked up the guitar on the side of the wall. She dropped onto her stool and sat under the microphone. She could see him staring at her from the protective cover of the glass, along with her reflection mirrored back at her. That woman with the guitar is who she wanted to be. Valentina strummed the strings and plucked the melody with her fingertips. A year ago Matt taught her how to play. She smiled at that memory.
April 2014
“Cutter, thanks for coming,” AK said.
Mattel stepped inside of the rapper’s three-story estate. The place was far more extravagant than he thought. The marble floors he stood on sparkled like polished glass. AK pulled up his pants that rode low on his hips and walked in front of him. The dude was tall and packed with muscles in his chest and arms. He had tattoos all the way up to his neck. They’d collaborated before on a few songs.
“Wsup man? She here?” Mattel asked. He had his guitar zipped up and strapped to his back in a sling. He scanned the white on white sunken living room for Valentina. No one had seen her since her public meltdown on stage and subsequent
hospitalization. The media said she moved out of the country. The truth was AK had showed up at the hospital and checked her out. He brought her to his place and amped up the security to keep the press away.
“Let me holla at you for a sec,” AK turned left and went to a long hall that led to the other side of the estate. Mattel followed. He stopped and faced him. “My girl is real fucked up right now. She’s not talking and she’s barely sleeping. Those fucking doctors kept medicating her. That’s not what she needs.”
Mattel’s brows lowered with concern. “Why call me?”
AK scratched his head. “I can’t bring anybody in on her. She’s too… fragile. I spoke to Raven. She mentioned you. We worked together in the past. You’re all about the music man. You got a different approach than those other motherfuckers. My baby likes to sing. That’s how we get through to her.” AK sighed. “That your guitar?” he asked.
Mattel removed it from around his neck and showed it to AK.
“Yeah, that’s it. Teach her to play the thing,” AK said.
“Does she want to know how to play?” Mattel asked.
“She wants to disappear. And I ain’t about to let that happen. She needs something. I can’t give it to her. I’ve tried. Trust me I’ve tried. So lets try it Raven’s way. She said Valentina always wanted to learn how to play. You down for it?”
Mattel hesitated. The money this cat had could bring in sixteen guitar instructors to give lessons around the clock. But this was a sensitive matter. And though Mattel was a cross-over producer, working with everyone in the business from country to hip-hop, he wasn’t an industry dude. He knew the real reason Raven and AK brought him in. It was all about trust.
“Where is she?” Mattel asked.
“Come with me,” AK said after a burdened sigh. They continued down the hall and it opened to a covered terrace. This room had lounge chairs and wall mounted televisions. He saw the pool beyond and expected to see the diva out there sunning with a bright bikini and a large floppy hat like most pampered stars. But AK didn’t head toward the pool. He went left again and opened a door. Mattel passed through. On a sofa in a room with books, but nothing else, lay Valentina. Her hair was under a headscarf. She had a knit blanket over her and glasses on. She was staring at the shelves and didn’t look up when they entered. AK walked over and picked up the tray of food that was left untouched on the coffee table.
“Babe, this is Cutter. He’s a friend. I asked him to stop by.”
Valentina’s head lifted. She blinked at Mattel and didn’t speak. AK shook his head and walked out with the tray of food. Mattel found a fold out chair and dragged it over.
“Hi, Valentina,” he said.
She pulled her knees up under the blanket. She dropped her chin on the top of her knees and wrapped her arms around them.
“We haven’t met but I’m a big fan,” Mattel said.
Valentina didn’t speak. She continued to stare at him. He wasn’t sure the best way to approach her. He had built her up larger than life in his head. The woman before him was nothing like who he expected to meet.
They had nothing in common. He couldn’t even think of a conversation starter. And then he remembered the guitar. He touched it and her gaze switched to it. He unzipped it. “Ever heard of Itta Bena, Mississippi?” He asked.
She shook her head no.
He chuckled. “Did you know that B.B. King was born just outside of there? It’s where I’m from too. When I met him at sixteen in Nashville and told him I was his biggest fan, I had this guitar. My dad’s. He signed it for me.”
Mattel smoothed his hand over his guitar. He turned it on the side so she could see the signature. Valentina leaned forward and looked at the signature from the sofa. “My father is Choctaw Native, my mother is German-Irish. The Choctaw were forced out of Mississippi long ago. But there are a few that still live there. They named the town. Itta Bena means ‘Home in the Woods’. You don’t know country living until you visited Itta Bena,” he smiled.
Valentina pushed her thick lens glasses up on her nose and blinked at him. Mattel smiled at her. He had her attention. According to AK that wasn’t something easy to do. “I can’t sing. Never could. But I love music. Got a feeling you do too. This was the first song I wrote about home. It’s something my father used to play in the house he built for us.”
He strummed the guitar. He began to play for Valentina. Every time he worked the guitar strings and brought forth the song his father would play for him and his brothers, he thought of home. After a moment everything slipped away, even Valentina. He closed his eyes and played. When he opened them again he saw she had reclined on the sofa and was staring at him. He wasn’t sure if she liked it or not. But he did recognize pain when tears pooled in her large brown eyes.
“AK said you might want to learn how to play. Up for a lesson?” he said. He refused to acknowledge her pain or even ask about it. That would be far too personal. And for some reason he wanted to protect her from the invasion. Instead he wanted to hear her song, everyone had a song. A home song. And it was up to that person to share.
She managed a weak smile, and then she spoke. “Can you just play some more for me?” she asked.
Mattel smiled. He nodded and played for her.
Present –
She loved the guitar thanks to him. She sang to him the way she heard the song in her head. The way they both envisioned the song the night they stayed up late writing it. She closed her eyes and let the poetry flow. In that moment the lyrics were the most honest and revealing part of her.
In her heart, the past year for her had been all about music. Mattel played a big part in that. Every moment spent was with him and her brainstorming over the lyrical arrangements for her heart song after gorging on his famous pancakes. And the love she had for her best friends and AK was there too. All of her feelings and emotions were wrapped around each and every song.
When her eyes opened as she continued to sing, she saw the red light, which indicated that he was recording her. Shocked she nearly faltered on a high note. But his smile encouraged her on. And when the song concluded, she felt a greater sense of accomplishment and pride.
Valentina lowered the guitar. “What do you think? Be honest.”
What did he think? Mattel couldn’t believe what he heard. He was so upset over the way she left. Over losing his cool with her. He cancelled the rest of his appointments. And in she walked. She made him fall in love with her all over again. His eyes connected with the diamond ring that rested between her breasts. Valentina didn’t wear flashy jewelry, especially diamonds.
“Matt?” she said again.
He turned his cap backwards and stood. He walked inside the sound room with her. He put his hands in his pockets to keep from touching her. “Who are you?”
“Huh?” she frowned.
&nb
sp; “What did you do with my Valentina?” he said with an apologetic smile.
Valentina squealed, she knocked over the guitar and rushed into his arms. Throwing her arms around his neck she hugged him tightly. It wasn’t tight enough for Matt. The feel of her in his arms was part of his dream. He ran his hands down her back and squeezed her until her sweet bosom was crushed to his chest and all of her curves pressed warmly into him. She smelled of honey and lavender. His lids fluttered shut and his lips innocently brushed her shoulder. She bounced on her feet and laughed in his ear, not noticing. She never noticed him.
“I knew we could do it together.” She pushed him off. “I did what you asked. I let the music back in. Just like you asked. This is me, Matt, this is it.”
He took her hands into his. He couldn’t help himself. He had to touch her. “You did it. You are perfect,” he said. He forgot the song, the music, all of it was forgotten. He only saw her. She kissed his cheek. Her face was inches from his. She moved in and gave him a playful peck once on his cheek once more. He looked into her eyes when she did, and held her with his stare. Their lips seemed to draw closer instead of further apart.
“I—” Valentina started, her hand slowly left his and went up to the back of his neck. “I can’t believe we did it,” she said. Her attention was focused on his mouth.
A small smile lifted at the corners of his mouth. This wasn’t him or his imagination. Valentina was moving in on him. What the fuck did he have to lose? He went for it. He captured her plump lips with his and kissed her. A real kiss. Their very first kiss. Valentina’s eyes closed and she opened her mouth for him. It was the most natural occurrence between them he’d ever experienced. Matt’s long wait for permission was finally granted. He found her breath warm and pleasing. Her small tongue dueled with his for supremacy. He grabbed at her locs, unable to stop. How long had he wanted this kiss? How many near misses had he survived? Then his bubble popped and she shoved him back.