by S. Ann Cole
Trudy sighed in defeat. “I know. It was the only thing I could come up with to plead Nelson’s case. But I guess he’s just what he is. And, no, I won’t say I told you so. I love you too much.”
“I deserve to hear it,” I mumbled.
The very second I ended the call, my phone started ringing. The four little letters that spelled the name ‘Zane’ flashed upon my phone screen. And I remembered his text message from that morning which said he was in town and wanted to have dinner with me. The idea suddenly sounded like a fantastic one. A timely one. The prospect of wielding a cane after dinner was all the more alluring. A remedy for ridding myself of this unrequested pain.
And so, it repeats. I was here again, heartbroken, mad, angry and desperate to inflict pain.
“Hello, Zane Zekiel,” I answered with a salacious drawl. “You have purrrrfect timing. I was just here thinking that dinner with you this evening would be such painful pleasure…”
XXV
I pulled up to the curb of the restaurant that I’d agreed to meet Zane at for dinner, slithered out of my jeep and tossed the keys to the valet. The restaurant was new to me. Never been here before and had to use the jeep’s GPS to locate it. Titled ‘The Golden Seven’, it was exclusively tucked away at the dead end of a street, gobbling up the entire square footage from the left side of the street to the right, affording the restaurant’s façade the shape of a U. If captivating was what the architect was going for, then they’d nailed it.
Tossing my hair over my shoulders, I strutted up the gold-themed walkway where a tall doorman already had the door held open. His eyes zoned in on my breasts, and he had to swallow hard in order to mutter his pleasantries.
Shaded in all-black, I was provocatively dressed in leggings, with seven-inch thigh-highs and a sweetheart bustier that cinched my already slim waist and magnified my breasts. And I knew I resembled every bit the sinful temptress.
The elegance of the restaurant hugged me the minute I stepped through the door. Tastefully unique, The Golden Seven afforded a majestic ambience, with claw-feet tables covered under red silk tablecloths, and red velvet gilded chairs. Outrageous chandeliers were suspended from the ceiling, glimmering and bouncing their sparks off the crystal glasses, silverware and showy jewelry of the patrons. Esthetically enchanting, the ambience proclaimed affluence.
Espying Zane at a table on the far left, I navigated over to him. Zane was, as always, the epitome of dark and handsome. Shaded the same as I was, he wore a black button-down shirt and black jeans. His ever-present yet inconspicuous gold chain peeked out from beneath his shirt where the top three buttons were undone, glistening under the chandelier. His hazel-brown eyes looked at me in a heated way that only he looked at me. A way that made me feel like he really did love me and that I could believe everything he said.
I’m muddle-headed, I know.
“My heart,” Zane greeted, as he got up to pull me in for a tight hug. “You look … wow. Thigh-highs were made for you.”
Smiling, I pulled from his embrace. “It’s been a while, Zane. You never seem to get any less handsome and it pisses me off.”
Zane laughed aloud as he sat back down, as did I. “Ever the same, eh?”
“What on earth would make me change?” I smiled back. But that smile swiftly disappeared when I realized that I had changed. That I wasn’t this person anymore. This person was who I was trying to restore, now. This person was pretended. I had been changed. By Lovello. His love had changed me from a bitch to a … girl?
But now I was determined to exhume the Axia Blacksille that I’d buried six feet under for that stupid thing called ‘love’. And I was going to pump back into her the breaths of seven mongrel bitches.
“I’m glad you haven’t,” Zane said, grinning at me with so much affection that wasn’t the norm. Or was it because I hadn’t felt loved recently? “I’ve already ordered. Hope you don’t mind.”
“Why would I mind? You know everything about me. What I’d like and what I wouldn’t. I totally trust you, Zane.” Besides, I’m dying to get this part over with so we can move on to the more fun stuff.
That earned me a bright, eye-blinding smile from him. “I’m glad you still feel the same way as I feel about you. You know me inside out, my heart. And that’s why I wanted to ask yo —”
His speech was interrupted by a curvaceous waitress who came to our table balancing a tray with soup appetizers. “Creamy wild mushroom,” she politely proclaimed as she set the soups down, then scurried off.
The aroma attacked my nostrils, reminding me that I was hungry, and I instantly dove in. Zane waited for me to consume a portion of my appetizer before he spoke again — he knew me well enough to know not to interrupt me while I ate, for the obvious reason that I loved food.
“Um, I want to enjoy this dinner, but I can’t, really,” he began. “My palms keep sweating and, um, maybe if I just get this out of the way … then I’ll be able to relax.”
He kept darting his eyes toward the entrance of the restaurant, while I wondered what on earth it was that he wanted to ‘get out of the way’. Zane didn’t do nervous: he was overly confident in all things. Unless he was pretending to be nervous, for whatever reason that might be.
“What’re you talking about?”
Zane took a deep breath. “Axia, I know I haven’t treated you fairly, and that I don’t deserve to have you. But you know, like I know, that what we have is real. Fight as we may, we’ll never be able to rid our hearts of each other. I love you. Always have and always will, and I know you love me, too. So, um, let’s just do things right this time, please…” He dipped inside his pocket, retrieved a red ring box and opened it, revealing an enormous diamond ring. “As I said, we’ll do it right this time. My heart, let’s … get married.”
It seemed all my inner organs had stopped what they were doing and began peeping through the pores of my skin, gaping at the man before me, because I was momentarily paralyzed, stiffer than Spritz on hair weave. Not even moisture was in my mouth.
Was he crazy! Did he just say married?!
Holy shit, I did not see this coming. All I wanted to do was have a good meal with the guy, take him home and beat the ever-loving shit out of him to let off some steam. And now he was proposing? Was I missing something? Did I step through a time machine and zoom past a huge chunk of my life towards the future?
Zane licked his lips in agitation. His eyes shot to the entrance of the restaurant then back to me. “I’m sorry for just springing this on you, Axia. But I can’t risk losing you. I’m sorry, but you’re mine and, although you’re speechless right now, I know the word you’ll say is yes.”
He removed the ring from the box, picked up my limp left hand from the table and slid the ring onto my finger. “There, there,” he soothed, bringing my hand to his lips. Kissing the ringed finger, he kept my hand tightly grasped in both of his.
My inner organs must’ve gotten bored with the show and went back to work, because my momentary paralysis was cured, and I was finally able to swallow past the lump in my throat to get my tongue wet and talkable again. “Zane, I —”
“Axia?” a familiar female voice said above me.
I snapped my gaze up to the sight of the sophisticated newly-weds, Natalio and Sadie. Natalio glanced from me to Zane, to the ring on my finger, to my hand in Zane’s, and anger flashed in his eyes, while Sadie’s face twisted in confusion.
“H-hi, Sadie,” I managed to get out. Natalio looked as if he opened his mouth, conflagration would toast me, so I didn’t dare utter his name.
Sadie’s eyes shifted to Zane on a frown, and then back to me. “Have you heard from Love?”
I made an I-could-care-less shake of my head and muttered, “Don’t know much about that guy these days.”
That seemed to piss Natalio off, because his sulfurous eyes torched me. Christ, the man was daunting. “You know that this is his goddamn restaurant, right? I can’t even … what the fuck is —”
�
��Babe, calm, please,” Sadie said, rubbing her palm down her husband’s chest in a calming manner. Turning her attention back to me, she spoke without acrimony. “Send Love a text message at least, Axia. Let him know that you’re okay and, um, occupied. He’s been frantic trying to reach yo —”
Her husband tugged her off before she could finish, biting out a “C’mon” while withdrawing his cellphone from his pocket. There’s no doubt he was phoning his brother. Not just Trevillo’s shit list that I was on now, I’d managed to make it onto Natalio’s, too.
“Well, that was awkward,” Zane blew out in a suspiciously casual tone.
Visible relaxation and contentment settled over him, which made me frown at the fact that he didn’t even care to inquire about this ‘Love’ person. Neither did he inquire about the miffed man and woman who had stopped at our table.
The peculiarity of it should’ve made me over-curious, but then zillions of thoughts were harrying my brain, causing it to puff clouds of smoke like an overworked machine. One thought being, I didn’t even know my boyfriend — er, ex-boyfriend — had a restaurant this lavish. Another thought being how coincidental it was that Zane had chosen a restaurant that was Lovello’s. A third thought being — well, more of a realization, actually — that this restaurant was where the ‘family dinner’ would be taking place.
Shifting, I glanced in the direction where Sadie and Natalio had ambled off to. Sure enough, at the right-end corner of the restaurant there was a crescent-shaped table, large enough to seat at least twenty people. And there sat Trevillo, Princessa and her husband, Natalio and Sadie, and two other couples that I didn’t know.
Had they been there all along, or did they all arrive at the same time? The restaurant was huge, so they could’ve easily come in without me seeing. Plus the positioning of our table was made at an oblique angle to theirs, so I had to turn slightly to see their table. Besides, it’s not like I was watching the entrance every two seconds like Zane.
A headache loomed in my forehead as I contemplated whether I should leave or stay. But why should I run as if I’ve done something wrong? I’ve done nothing wrong. Nothing … but love him.
Lovello’s been cheating on me with his ex, and they must’ve known about it. So why be surly with me as if I’m the villain? Sadie said Lovello was frantic trying to reach me? Well, he should be. Lying scumbag that he was.
Original plans were that I’d go straight to his house after work so we could get dressed together. When he’d started blowing up my cellphone at around six in the evening, however, I’d rejected all his calls and instructed Bill to strike his name from my Access list. Tish had phoned me, also complaining that Lovello was ringing her repeatedly, demanding to know where I was.
I figured he’d get the gist, at some point, that I simply did not want to see or hear from him. I could’ve confronted him. Could’ve shown him the pictures and the condom packet and demanded an explanation. But what sense would it make? He’d only be ‘explaining’ with a lying tongue. And with the debilitating love that I had for him, I’d probably believe him without a second thought.
The waitress appeared again, removing our appetizer dishes and announcing our main course, “Seared Steak with Caramelized Onions,” before scurrying off. My appetite was non-existent, but I picked up the fork, nonetheless, and forced the food down my throat.
“Zane,” I quietly began. “I’m not sure what you expect me to say to this, but it’s insane.“
Zane forked a succulent piece of steak into his mouth. “What we have is insane. I’m insane about you. My love for you is insane.”
“Jesus, will you just stop!” I hissed, setting my fork down with more force than needed. “Where’s all this coming from all of a sudden? I mean, we broke up five years ago. Well, yeah, we’ve been feeding each other’s pleasure on occasion and we do have a strong ‘relationship’, but it’s also an insalubrious one. A relationship that is broken and will forever be broken. Marriage? Are you demented? I’d think you, of all people, would know better than to think I’d want marriage. The hell? Do I look like a wife and kids woman to you?”
Zane sighed. “I know, Axia. I’ve placed a lot of thought into this. Marriage is just an ordainment to seal what we have. To know that I’m truly and forever yours. To know that you won’t, um, leave me for anyone.”
“Ever heard of that thing called, um, divorce?” I spat in sarcasm.
“I’d never allow you to divorce me,” he deadpanned.
“Dios mío, I think I’m having a migraine,” I mumbled, as I poured a glass of water from the chilled jug, then snatched two aspirins from my purse.
After swallowing the aspirins, I closed my eyes for a count of ten seconds, then opened them to look at the inducer of my migraine. “I’m sorry, Zane, but I really can’t accept your proposal. It just won’t work. Sorry.”
Unperturbed, Zane gazed back at me through impassive eyes. He was rarely impassive with me, always giving me the upper hand in everything. But tonight he just seemed … different. “Why?”
His nonchalance was beginning to stroke my ire. I was a mess. A heaping mess. And he didn’t seem to realize that. He’d fallen so tranquil and equanimous ever since Natalio and Sadie appeared at our table. “Because I’m with someone else. And I’m … I’m in love with him.”
Zane sat back in his seat, peering at me through his captivating hazel-browns, a hint of humor dancing in them. “Really now?” he drawled. “Are you sure?”
“Positive.”
He ran his index finger to and fro on his chin, an all too familiar gesture of his. “You may have been, my heart. But you’re not anymore. As I said, you were always mine. Always will be mine.”
He wasn’t looking at me now. His eyes were fixed in the direction of the Nelsons. The direction I’d been forcing my eyes not to look in. But the way Zane kept his gaze fixated in their direction, it was as if he were telling me to look.
So I did …
And that’s when I saw what he wanted me to see. Lovello and Nicole. They’d joined the table with the others, and, sure enough, they were all over each other. Must I mention that Nicole was wearing the black, mermaid-tail dress that’d been one of the dress options Lovello emailed me? Yeah, and I’d be an envious bitch if I said she wasn’t rocking it. Except that she had a black shawl around her shoulders that unnecessarily took from the edginess of the dress.
They must’ve sensed that I was looking, because he suddenly grabbed her and kissed her as if he were trying to eat her lips off her face. I felt as if someone had knocked me in the stomach with a bowling ball, because a sudden gush of air rushed out of me, while my cheeks and ears burned like they were on fire. I was crying. But internally. Dry crying.
Drawing my eyes away from the repugnant sight, I brought my cold and trembling hands beneath the table, lacing my fingers together to stop them from shaking. Never in all my life had I felt anything like this. Anything so harrowing. Such embarrassment. Such dreadful pain. Such remorse. It had to be my retribution for an unknown sin that I’d committed.
“You’re still in love?” Zane asked, cocking his head to the side.
Him! No wonder he was so nonchalant and composed. He knew I was dating Lovello. He knew this was Lovello’s restaurant, and he knew they would be here tonight. He set this up. That’s why he was so hasty to put the ring on my finger. He saw Natalio and Sadie approaching before I did and hurriedly slid the ring on to make it seem as if I’d said yes. This fucker! “You knew, didn’t you? You knew I was with him. You knew this was his restaurant, didn’t you?”
Zane merely shrugged. “Babe, I couldn’t let you be with that guy. Are you not aware of his reputation with women? He would only hurt you. And I’m pretty sure he already did. You see that?” he said, nodding in their direction where Nicole was eating more of Lovello’s neck and less of her food. “With insensitive jerks like him, you’re replaceable. That’s what he’s trying to tell you right there. He didn’t care about you, Axia. If he did
, he would’ve fought for you. Stick with the man who’ll fight for you, my heart. Like I’m fighting for you right now. You were always mine. I love you.”
When he saw that I was without words, he continued the torture. “Men like him can’t be tamed. Stick to your kind. To the evil that you know. Be the woman who I know you are, and don’t ever, ever submit. Stay in control, baby. Always stay in control. And your heart will be safe.”
I gazed, unblinking, at the chocolate-skinned man sitting in front of me, in all his handsomeness, his hazel-brown eyes bright and burning with love and … manipulation. That’s when I remembered Lovello’s words:
“You weren’t the dominant, Axia. He was. He manipulated you into doing what he wanted. He knows how to control you, what to say and do to get you to cave in and play the dominant so he can receive his painful pleasure. The guy’s pretty damn smart.”
Suddenly, I felt used and worthless and stupid. Again. I deserved to be tied to a tree over an ant’s nest, so that little kids, who have a heck of a lot more sense than me, could beat my dumb ass with baseball bats until I turned to toffee. “I was never the dominant, was I?”
“Of course you were, my heart,” Zane said in a gentle voice, reaching out to take up my hand.
With quick economical movements, I snatched up the steak knife and arrowed it straight at his throat. But just as quickly, he swerved to the side, and the knife bounced off the top of his chair and clattered to the floor. “Don’t you dare patronize me!” I yelled, not giving a shit whose dinner I was disrupting. If I had a gun, I would’ve probably shot anyone and everyone who looked in my direction. That’s how irate I was.
“Axia, baby, calm down,” Zane tried to defuse me. “I wasn’t being condescend —”
We were interrupted by a waitress, different from the one who’d been serving us all night. She set an ice bucket on the table that had a bottle of Perrier-Jouët champagne in it, informing us that it was courtesy of the owner, and handed a note to Zane before leaving us.