by Ivy Smoak
My phone buzzed and I fumbled it in my hands. It made a light bleeping sound to let me know that my message had been sent. I almost screamed "NO!" out loud. I gulped. Oh my God, what did I just do? I felt like I was hyperventilating. Is there any way to undo a text? What if I get kicked out of school?!
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to send that," I quickly typed out. I was about to hit the send button when my phone bleeped to let me know I had received a message.
"Miss Taylor, that was never my intention."
I put my phone down on my bed and stared at it. He had responded to me right away. He even knew it was me. So that probably meant he didn't give his phone number out to everyone. I deleted the message that I had typed out. I pictured him sitting in sweat pants, lounging on a couch, waiting desperately to see what I had to say next. I was going to be bold and bad.
I texted back: "You dreamt about me."
A minute later he responded: "I can't control my dreams, Miss Taylor."
He wanted to control his feelings for me. He wanted me to pull back. But I didn't dare. I had confidence when I wasn't staring directly into his deep brown eyes. "I don't want you to." I pressed send.
I placed my phone on my bed and pulled my hair into a ponytail. My foot began to tap impatiently. I pulled my Stat book onto my lap again and began to read the page I had left off on. I had to stop halfway and start over because my mind was wandering.
"Trust me, you do," his response read.
I took a deep breath, completely flustered. What did he dream of doing to me? "I don't trust you," I texted. Geez why did I say that? That was a conversation ender, if anything is.
"Miss Taylor, are you in need of someone to walk you home?"
I sighed. He was angry. I didn't want to make him angry. I wanted him to think I was sexy and alluring. "I wish that I was, Professor Hunter," I responded.
I stared at my phone for ten minutes. No reply. I sighed and rolled over, away from my Stat work. Next time I wouldn't play with his temper.
Chapter 9
Tuesday
The following night I tossed and turned again as I tried to fall asleep. I had shoved Professor Hunter's sweater into my backpack that afternoon and marched over to his office hours. But there were three girls waiting in line to talk to him. I had rolled my eyes and stormed back to my dorm. I was kidding myself. He probably did get kicked out of the last college he worked at. He probably slept with every girl that batted her eyelashes at him. He was a tool.
But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get the image of him out of my mind. Whenever I closed my eyes I imagined his hands on me. I wanted to taste his lips. I wanted him in every way. I had never felt this primal before. I truly felt like I needed him.
***
When my alarm went off I slowly rose out of bed. I was exhausted from my fitful sleep. I quickly got ready for class. I pulled on yoga pants and a t-shirt and slowly made my way across campus. When I reached Professor Hunter's classroom, I took a deep breath and walked in the back door. Class had already begun. I passed by all the full desks and plopped down in my usual spot. Tyler was nowhere to be seen.
I stared at Professor Hunter defiantly. He was wearing his glasses again, and he had left his hair alone. He turned to the board and underlined the word "emotion" that he must have written before I had arrived.
"Today we are going to drive this point home. And first we are going to share what emotion we are currently feeling. And say the word in the way that the emotion has affected you. For example, if I was upset, I'd probably frown a little and say it in a rather pouty way."
Most of the class giggled. He stared at me and I kept a straight face. Had I made him upset? He had certainly upset me.
"Very well," he said. He called out the first name and went through the list.
"Tyler Stevens?" Professor Hunter called. "Absent," he said to himself, and made a note on his paper.
"Penny Taylor?"
I stood up quickly. "I feel foolish." I closed my eyes. "And frustrated. Foolish and frustrated." I sat down without looking at him. I kept my eyes on my desk for the rest of class.
When Professor Hunter dismissed us, I hastily grabbed all my things and went out the back door so that I wouldn't have to walk by him.
***
After my final class of the day I made my way back to my dorm. I just wanted to lay down in my bed and disappear. When I opened my door I almost ran to my bed. I collapsed on top of it and buried my face in my pillow. I had completely ruined it with Professor Hunter. But I still wanted him. I wanted him so badly.
This was ridiculous. He was completely off limits anyway. I sat up and leaned off my bed to grab the piece of paper from Melissa's nightstand. It was a new number. Austin hadn't been lying. He still could have tried to email me or send me a message on Facebook or something though.
I grabbed my phone and slid my finger across the screen. Professor Hunter's name popped up. I clicked on the message. "Now I know how it feels to be stood up. Lesson learned." The text was time stamped at 10 minutes after Comm had ended. That was over eight hours ago.
"Is that an apology?" I typed out. But I deleted it before I sent it. I put the slip of paper with Austin's number back on Melissa's nightstand. I knew what I had to do if I wanted Professor Hunter to want me as much as I wanted him. I was going to play hard to get. And that started with me ignoring him.
Melissa entered the room just as I was turning off my cell.
"Did you want to go get dinner?" she asked , putting her backpack down.
"Yeah, I'm starving." I jumped out of bed and grabbed my clutch.
We walked over to the dining hall. After waiting in line for pizza, I sat down across from her. I could have eaten pizza for every meal. Melissa was eating a salad.
"So..." Melissa said.
"So, what?"
"So...did you call him?"
"Did I call who?" My heart was beating fast. Did she know about Professor Hunter? Was it that obvious?
"Austin? Who else? Oh wait! Are you dating Tyler now? Penny that's so exciting! I saw him at the party, you two were really cute together."
"No. No, I didn't call either one of them."
"Penny, come on. I heard Sigma Pi is having another party this Thursday that we have to go to. Tyler likes you!"
"I know he does," I sighed. "I just don't know if I like him."
"Well you have a few days to decide between the two. Because we're going out this weekend no matter what. And you're going to want a date because Josh asked me to be his girlfriend!"
"Who's Josh?"
"What do you mean? Josh, Josh. The one I met at the party last Thursday. You met him too, he was the one who came up and talked to us right away."
"Oh, yeah, sorry. Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome, right?"
"That's the one. Anyway, I wanted to go on a double date with you and well, whoever. So who is it going to be?
"And when is this date taking place?" I could feel myself grimacing. I didn't want to ask Tyler out and send him the wrong message. And I didn't want to call Austin again. I didn't do well with rejection.
"Saturday night."
"Okay, I'll think about it."
"That's all I can ask."
We ate our meals quietly for a few minutes. Then we started complaining about our new classes and laughing. As we walked back to the dorm I tried to impersonate my foreign Stat teacher. Melissa laughed so hard she dropped her ice cream cone on the ground.
"I know, that's how I feel listening to him. How am I supposed to learn anything?"
"You just have to hope everyone else can't understand him either, and that there will be a huge curve."
Chapter 10
Thursday
A few minutes before Professor Hunter's office hours ended, I peered around the corner and looked into his office. He was sitting at a desk with earphones on. His door was open and there weren't any girls waiting to see him, except for me. I took a deep breath and walked to the door. He
didn't seem to notice me. He was wearing a white dress shirt. The top few buttons were undone and he had a loosened tie around his neck. The sleeves were rolled up, revealing his tanned, muscular forearms.
I tapped on the door.
Professor Hunter looked up and his eyes bulged slightly. He pulled the headphones off and set them on his desk.
"Miss Taylor, come in," he said. He walked over to the door and closed it behind me. His office smelled strongly of his cologne. He shoved his hands into his pockets. "I didn't expect to see you."
"I didn't expect to be here."
"You're angry with me," he said slowly.
"I'm not." I pulled off my backpack and leaned against his desk.
He looked at his watch. "My office hours are almost over."
I was making him uncomfortable. "I tried to come the other day when they first start, but you had quite the line."
He reached his hand up and ran it though his sleek hair. I wanted to do that for him. He walked over so that he was only a few feet away from me. "Part of the duties of being a professor," he shrugged.
"Right." I picked up my backpack and pulled out his gray sweater. I had pathetically snuggled up to it in bed last night, but he didn't need to know that. All he needed to know was that I was brave enough to waltz into his office hours and bring it back. "I came to return this."
He stared down at the sweater and then let his eyes slowly wander up to mine. I could feel my face flushing.
"You can keep that."
"It's yours," I responded. I hadn't expected him to reject it. That wasn't part of my master plan.
"Certainly it looks better on you."
I gulped and placed the sweater on his desk. He drew closer, reached around me, and picked it up. He grabbed my hand and placed the sweater on my palm. His hand stayed on mine as he stared down at me. This wasn't what I had expected. It was way better.
"It's a gift, Penny."
"I like when you call me Penny."
His breathing sounded heavy. "Miss Taylor, you should probably go."
I wanted to grab his tie and pull him toward me. But he had just called me Miss Taylor instead of Penny. Did he want me? I gripped the desk with my free hand to stop it from shaking. A wave of his cologne hit me. It was growing hard to breath.
A knock sounded on his office door.
Professor Hunter's hand fell from mine instantly, and he took a step back. He looked at the ground for a moment, and put his fingers through his hair. With his hand still in his hair, he slowly tilted his head back up and looked at me from under his thick eyebrows. The hunger. Then he glanced back down at the sweater.
I swallowed hard, picked up my backpack, and shoved the sweater inside.
He walked casually over to the door and opened it as I zipped my backpack and pulled it over my shoulder.
A girl walked in. She was wearing a charcoal pencil skirt and a matching blazer. Her high heeled shoes made her almost as tall as Professor Hunter. She was wearing bright red lipstick. "Ready to go, James?" she asked, and then spotted me. She glanced down at her watch. "Sorry, I thought office hours were over. I can wait outside." She smiled at him.
"We just finished up," he said to the mystery girl. "I'm ready to go." He was tightening his tie when he turned back to me. "See you tomorrow, Miss Taylor." He said the words without really looking at me.
I walked over toward them. "Thanks for your help, Professor Hunter," I said and made my way out of his office. Who the hell is she? I glanced back at them. She was laughing about something and she touched his arm. My stomach churned. She wasn't a girl, she was a woman. And clearly, she was his girlfriend. They were both dressed for a fancy date.
***
I added Austin's new number into my phone and then tossed the scrap of paper in the trash. Melissa insisted that I needed a date for Saturday. Austin was a good option. Tyler was persistent and I didn't want to string him along, whereas I could just go on this one date with Austin and I'd probably never hear from him again. Two days seemed like a good amount of time to ask for a date. Not so far in advance that I seemed like a lonely loser, and not too close to the date that I seemed desperate.
Or maybe I should invite Tyler. I believed that he was sorry. Plus, he had been so sweet recently. I placed my face in my hands. This was so dumb. All I wanted to do was invite Professor Hunter. But he had a girlfriend. And he was my professor. I was so pathetic.
I looked up when Melissa walked into the room.
"Great news," she said excitedly.
"Will I think it's great?"
"That depends."
"On what exactly?"
"On if you already have a date for Saturday."
Oh no, what did she do? I just looked at her, hoping she would continue. When she didn't, I said, "I don't."
"Well you do now. I ran into Austin again, and he's coming."
I didn't want to see him. I felt sick to my stomach. "Where do you even keep running into him?"
"First of all, you're welcome. Coincidence? Fate? You can decide on Saturday." She sat down at her desk and opened up a book. She seemed mad at me.
"Sorry, Melissa. I'm sure Saturday will be fun. Thanks for asking Austin for me."
She turned around with a big grin on her face. "No problem," she shrugged, and went back to studying.
Crap! I laid back on my bed. I should have invited Tyler when I had the chance. Josh and Tyler were in the same fraternity. They were probably friends. There was no way Josh would fail to mention to Tyler that I had been on a date with another guy. Tyler was going to hate me. For a second I thought about calling Austin to un-invite him. That would feel so rewarding! I smiled to myself. I wanted him to feel rejected like I had all summer. Too late now, though. A part of me, even if it was rather small, did want to see him again.
Chapter 11
Friday
I couldn't compete with the mystery woman from Professor Hunter's office. There wasn't anything to really suggest that they were together, though. Maybe it was just one date. Could I compete? Did I even want to?
The woman had been sophisticated. She had even been wearing nylons. I rolled my eyes to myself. She had been sophisticated, but that didn't mean that I needed to be. I opened up my backpack and pulled the sweater out. Luckily Melissa was still sound asleep, because I didn't want her to judge me.
I pulled his sweater over my head. It was pouring outside, so I slipped my red rain boots on and grabbed my matching red umbrella. He had implied that he thought the sweater looked better on me. I took a deep breath and walked out of my dorm room.
When I reached class, Tyler was already sitting in the desk next to mine.
"Are you feeling better today?" I asked him as I sat down.
"I didn't miss class because I was sick. I just needed a day off."
"Classes only just started," I laughed.
"Well I needed an excuse to get together with you so I could copy your notes." He was leaning on the edge of his desk, staring at me rather seductively.
I laughed again. "Professor Hunter basically just defined the word emotion. You're supposed to make your audience feel something when you give a speech. I didn't take notes."
"Penny you're making this impossible. Do you have plans this weekend?" There was something endearing about the way he was looking at me. Confident yet eager at the same time.
I sighed. "My roommate is forcing me to go on this strange double date with her." Hopefully that would make it seem rather innocent. And it was true, I didn't want to go.
Tyler smirked at me. "If you want to ditch it, I'll take you out to dinner."
"If you knew Melissa, you would know that that isn't an option. Sorry Tyler," I said and smiled at him.
"The rejection hurts," he said with a smile. He placed both his hands on his chest and let his head fall back like I had just hit him with a fatal blow.
"Oh, come on," I said, and lightly shoved his shoulder. "Rather dramatic."
"Rain check?" he aske
d.
I nodded. I looked up as Professor Hunter entered the room. He was wearing his glasses and his hair was sexily disheveled. A tight black t-shirt and light jeans made him look so casual and approachable. I tried not to think about the fact that he may be dressed casually because he was up late with the mystery woman.
It was hard to pay attention to what he was saying. His sweater that I was wearing smelled like him and it was like I was in some kind of trance. Does he notice that I'm wearing it?
Today's assignment was to talk about our weekend plans.
On Tyler's turn, he looked down at me while he spoke: "I will be spending the weekend wallowing in my room, because this girl I'm crushing on is too busy to hang out with me."
"Oh my God," I mouthed silently to him.
"Penny Taylor," Professor Hunter called.
When I stood up, it looked like his jaw dropped slightly. He quickly closed his mouth and looked down at his paper.
I wanted to make him jealous. Tyler had already set me up. "This weekend I'm going on a double date with my roommate and her new boyfriend."
Professor Hunter seemed to wince when I said "date."
I quickly added, "But I'm absolutely dreading it," before sitting back down. I was bad at playing hard to get.
Tyler leaned over. "I wish you didn't have to go either," he whispered.
Professor Hunter called the next name on the list without looking back over at me. When he was finished listening to the other students, he walked over to the board. He wrote "lust" on the board in all caps.
"You want your audience to hang on every word that comes out of your mouth. It's kind of like in a relationship. You want that instantaneous lust you sometimes get."
I doubted anyone else noticed it, but during his speech he seemed to be blatantly staring at me.
"I don't necessarily mean it in a sexual way. Although, there is a reason that sex sells."