by Ivy Smoak
There was never any reasoning with her. I wasn't even upset about Austin. I just didn't want to get up. I wanted to relive Professor Hunter kissing me over and over again. As soon as I got up I knew I'd have to face the truth. He didn't want me to pursue him anymore. It was our first and last kiss. I touched my lower lip with my index finger. The fairytale was over.
I sighed and got out of bed. After cleaning my cuts with peroxide, Melissa and I made our way to the dining hall. I walked around aimlessly with an empty plate. Nothing seemed appetizing. I finally copied Melissa and got a salad.
"So tell me what happened," she said right when I sat down. "We came back to the booth and you were gone. I had assumed it meant you two had made up." She raised both eyebrows. "But now that I've seen you...not so much."
"He had me, you know. Like he always does. I went to the bathroom to try and talk myself out of going back to his place. And when I came back out, I saw him talking to these girls and I just snapped. I don't even know what came over me."
"So you had a fight?"
"I threw a glass of water in his face." I cringed.
"Seriously?! I can't believe I missed that. Great move, by the way. What did Austin do? Geez, I can picture his face." She laughed to herself.
"I ran out of the restaurant and he followed me."
"You know that you're basically describing a romantic comedy, right?"
"Yeah, except we had a huge fight. We both said some pretty horrible things."
"Hence the staying in bed all day?"
"No. It's weird but I'm actually okay with it. I just felt so tired afterward, you know? But I'm not sad or upset. I'm so over him."
"Well look at you. I'm proud of you, Penny. You finally stood up for yourself."
"Ha, yeah." I took a bite of my salad. I began to wonder if I should talk to her about Professor Hunter. She always had great advice. But I couldn't do it. There was something between me and Professor Hunter that seemed so private. I felt like I'd be betraying him if I told her. If I told her it almost seemed like it would be over. But it is over.
***
When I got back to my room I opened up my laptop. I had to finish my psychology paper for tomorrow. I pulled up the document and finished typing about the implications of Pavlov's experiments with this dogs. "You can potentially twist someone into something they are not. The implications are dangerous." It wasn't my best writing, but I hit the print button.
While my paper was printing, I opened up my email. There was an unread one from Professor Hunter titled "Comm 212 cancelled." Oh my God, I made him quit? I quickly clicked on it.
The first line read: "Comm 212 will be cancelled tomorrow."
I breathed a sigh of relief. My heart was racing. I read the rest of the email:
"Please read the attached article about the importance of improvising during a speech. You have to react to your audience, so it's important to be able to think on your toes. I know that originally speeches were supposed to start next Monday, but I've decided to throw a wrench in things. Speeches will start this Wednesday instead. The speeches are only supposed to be two to three minutes, so it shouldn't take more than two days of class. Everyone with last names beginning with A through M will be going Wednesday, and everyone else will go on Friday. So, you still have plenty of time to prepare, but I wanted to give you more of a sense of thinking on your toes. I'm looking forward to hearing about the influential people in your lives."
- Professor J. Hunter
He had kissed me like I had never been kissed before, and then told me to stop thinking about him. Was class cancelled because of me? I pulled out my phone and clicked on his name. "I hope that everything is alright, Professor Hunter." I knew I was being defiant, but I pressed the send button anyway. He was sending me mixed messages, and I preferred to believe that the kissing me part of last night was what he really wanted too.
I climbed onto my bed, pulled my computer to my lap, and opened up Facebook. I clicked on the search bar and slowly typed James Hunter into the box. A photography company from Maryland, some grunge band, and several guys that were certainly not Professor Hunter popped up. I pressed the backspace key until his name disappeared.
I was about to ex out of Facebook when a message came up at the bottom of the screen. I clicked on it.
Tyler: "Mixed feelings about tomorrow. Class cancelled = awesome. Not getting to see you = major suckage."
I wrote back to Tyler: "What really sucks is that we have to give our presentations on Friday."
Tyler: "That's not really what I'm worried about."
Me: "So what are you worried about then, Tyler?"
Tyler: "Well, I'm waiting for you to spill the beans about your date. Let me down easily."
Me: "Honestly, it was a complete disaster."
Tyler: "Sorry, that sucks."
Me: "I feel like you aren't sorry."
Tyler: "Yeah, not even a little. Actually I think I can make you feel better. I wanted to cordially invite you to dinner...any night of your choosing."
I looked down at my phone. Professor Hunter hadn't responded.
Tyler: "And I won't take no for an answer."
Me: "How about lunch one day?" As friends.
Tyler: "Let's do it Wednesday. And then we can make fun of all the speeches."
Me: "Haha, okay, Tyler."
Tyler: "I'm going to go before you change your mind. Night!"
I smiled to myself and shut down my computer.
Chapter 16
Wednesday
As soon as my alarm sounded Wednesday morning, I was out of bed and getting ready. I needed to look super casual for lunch with Tyler so that he wouldn't get the wrong idea. I took off the baggy t-shirt that I had slept in and replaced it with a tank top and an off the shoulder, light weight sweater. I pulled on a pair of old skinny jeans with holes in the knees and slipped on my favorite Keds.
I put a little frizz control lotion in my hands and scrunched my wavy hair to give it some added texture. When I looked in the mirror I felt a tiny bit of hope. Professor Hunter had never returned my message. But maybe he just didn't like the flirtatious version of myself. This was the real me. I felt uncomfortable wearing short skirts and revealing dresses. So I'd try and see if he liked this side of me better.
After eating a bowl of cereal, brushing my teeth, and applying minimal makeup, I locked the door behind me. I went into Professor Hunter's class and sat at my usual spot in the corner. Tyler walked in with a huge smile on his face.
"So where do you want to go for lunch?"
"Can I meet you at Russell Dining Hall at 12:30?"
"We don't have to go to the dining hall, Penny. I'll take you somewhere, my treat."
"But it's steak sandwich day."
Tyler laughed. "Okay, I guess I can't pass that up."
I smiled. Professor Hunter walked into the room. He was his usual handsome self, but it looked like he hadn't shaved in a few days. This morning he didn't even glance at me. He had told me to stop thinking about him, but I couldn't. Clearly he had stopped thinking about me, though. It stung.
"It's presentation day!" He pumped his fist into the air.
Most of the class groaned.
"It's not going to be that bad. Okay, first up is Raymond Asher. Let me just fix this." He grabbed a podium from the corner and placed it in the middle of the room. "And I'll get out of your way." He made his way to the back of the classroom, and I watched his every step. The only empty seat was the one right in front of Tyler. He sat down and placed his satchel on the floor, still not glancing at me at all. I hadn't realized that I had been holding my breath.
Raymond walked confidently to the podium. He placed both hands on either side of the top of it and leaned in a bit. It looked like he had done this hundreds of times. Was I unaware of a prerequisite to this class? I was getting nervous and I wasn't even presenting until Friday.
Raymond gave a funny presentation about his grandfather who was "clearly better than any
of Professor Hunter's grandparents" and deserved a proper shout out.
Tyler leaned over a little to me. "Crap, he stole my idea."
I laughed quietly. It looked like Professor Hunter's back stiffened.
Without commenting on Raymond's speech, Professor Hunter called out the next name. He never spoke after any of the speeches, just finished writing his notes and called the next name on his list. I heard a wide array of stories about friends, siblings, parents, and significant others. They started to all blur together.
At the end of the last speech, Professor Hunter said, "Great job today. Class dismissed." He was still scribbling notes.
"I'll see you at lunch, Penny," Tyler said and stood up.
Crap. Now Professor Hunter knew I had a sort of date.
Professor Hunter looked down at his paper and tilted his head a little to the left. He wanted to hear what I had to say. It was the first time all day he had acknowledged my existence.
"Don't be late, I have a class at two," I said.
"I wouldn't dare." Tyler laughed and walked out of the back door of the classroom.
I stayed seated. My heart rate was accelerating. When the class had emptied, Professor Hunter turned and put his papers into his satchel.
"I'm sorry about the other night, Miss Taylor. I was out of line." He still wasn't looking at me, just fumbling with his notes.
"I'm not sorry."
He shook his head back and forth. "You don't need to be, it was my mistake."
"I mean that I'm not sorry that it happened."
Sitting in that desk made him look just like a student. Why couldn't he have just been a student? He finally turned his head to look at me. He looked angry. For some reason I could tell he wasn't mad at me though. He was angry at himself.
"Enjoy your lunch date, Miss Taylor. I will see you in class on Friday." He abruptly stood up and walked away.
I wanted to get up and walk with him, but something kept me in my chair. I gulped. There was something about that anger in his eyes. I suddenly felt extremely cold. The realization hit me hard. This wasn't a game. Flirting with him wasn't the same as it was with guys my own age. Professor Hunter had an air of danger around him. He was intriguing because he terrified me.
Chapter 17
Wednesday
Tyler and I met outside Russell Dining hall at 12:30, which was a horrible mistake on cheese steak day. The line was already ridiculously long.
"Hey."He gave me a big hug.
"We better get in line," I said and pulled away.
We went into the dining hall and stepped into the back of the line.
Tyler turned to me. "Wanna play 21 questions?"
"Yeah, sure. You can go first."
"Okay. Why did you agree to have lunch with me?"
I laughed. "Because your persistence is charming. Why did you want to have lunch with me?"
"Well isn't that obvious? Because I like you. You're cute and funny, and you can be pretty assertive when you need to be."
I cringed. "I'm sorry about kneeing you in the crotch."
"Ha, I deserved it. Please. Next question. How many boyfriends have you had?"
"One. No. Well, yes. But not really..."
He laughed. "Simple question."
Why did I agree to play this game?! "It's a complicated answer."
"Fair enough. Your turn."
"How many girlfriends have you had?"
"Three. What's your major?"
"Marketing. What's your major?"
"Penny you're cheating. You're not supposed to just repeat every question I ask."
"Oh. Okay. Well, then. What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?"
"I don't get embarrassed easily."
"Well you're the exact opposite of me then. But if you had to just choose one thing that a normal person would probably find embarrassing?"
He laughed. "Well, one time at camp I wet my pants while I was sleeping. And my sleeping bag got completely soaked. So after everyone woke up I switched it with my bunkmates so that everyone would think he did it."
"Tyler! That's not embarrassing for you. That's embarrassing for the boy you played the prank on."
"I don't know...I mean, I just told you I used to wet my bed."
I laughed. "Okay, fair enough. Next question."
"What's the most scandalous thing you've ever done?"
I thought about my back against the car and Professor Hunter pressing against me. "Pass!" I almost yelled. I knew my face was turning red.
"Ooohh," Tyler laughed. "Jackpot. Penny you have to tell me, it's part of the game."
I was bad at thinking on my toes and even worse at lying. "Errr...one time I...Oh, please, Tyler..."
"Okay, fine. You don't have to tell me now. But I will get it out of you eventually." He was smiling.
"Do you have another question?" I asked.
"Which sounds better to you: sweatpants, popcorn, and a movie? Or a dress, great food, and dancing?"
"Sweatpants and a movie, hands down."
"Okay, that's going to be our next date then."
I smiled. Why couldn't I just forget about Professor Hunter? Tyler was sweet and funny. And he wasn't my teacher. I studied his face. He was handsome. Actually, he was really handsome.
"What do you want to do after you graduate?" I asked him.
"Geez. I don't know." He rubbed his chin. "You'll have to hold me to answering that later too."
"Fair enough. We each only get one pass, though."
He nodded in agreement.
Since he had already used his pass, I needed to think of something juicy to ask him. We were at the front of the line so I used the extra time to brood over different questions I could ask him. Once we both got our sandwiches, we sat down across from each other.
"Still your question," he said.
A girl walked up to our table and touched Tyler on the shoulder. She had long, straight blonde hair and huge breasts. They were basically falling out of her shirt.
"Hi, Tyler," she said.
"Hey, Claire," he said quietly. She leaned down and whispered something in his ear. His face remained expressionless and then the girl walked away.
I couldn't help myself, I was a little jealous. I guess I liked Tyler more than I had realized. But it no longer seemed like I was his type.
"Are you dating anyone else right now?" I asked.
"Anyone else? Are you saying that we're dating?"
My face flushed. "Just answer my question. Are you dating anyone?"
"I wouldn't say that."
"What would you say, then?"
"That I've gone on a few dates this semester."
I took a huge bite of my steak sandwich. It was good, but not good enough to make me forget about the blonde bimbo. I had gone on a date with Tyler. One date. And he'd tried to go all the way with me. Had he had sex with her?
"Is she one of the girls that you've been seeing?"
"Yes. Okay, you've asked a bunch of questions in a row. I believe it's my turn. In your words, have you been dating anyone else?"
"I thought we weren't supposed to repeat questions."
He shrugged. I knew that he was trying to make a point. He already knew that I had a date last weekend. And despite that, I wouldn't say that I was dating anyone else. But I began to wonder if Professor Hunter counted too. I certainly wanted to be dating him. And I had kissed him.
"I haven't really been seeing anyone, no," I replied slowly.
"But you've gone on a date. So...I don't really understand why you're upset. We're on the same page here."
I leaned forward. "How many girls have you slept with exactly, Tyler?"
He leaned forward. "I'm going to pass."
"You're not allowed to pass."
He stared at me.
"That many, huh?"
"Look, I know why you're asking. You want to know If I've been with anyone since I started talking to you."
"So...?"
"Penny..."
"Oh my God, Tyler. You're such a slut," I whispered.
He gave me a mischievous smile. "I'm just messing with you, Penny. No, I haven't slept with anyone this semester. And only three girls total. There, that's not so bad, right?"
"What is wrong with you?" I leaned across the table and lightly shoved his shoulder.
"You're fun to mess with. You're so gullible."
"Very funny." I shook my head at him.
"Besides, now I got a question answered without even having to ask it," he said.
"Oh, yeah? And what is that?"
"You like me."
I kept my mouth shut.
"You got so jealous. You should have seen your face, Penny."
I put a stray strand of hair behind my ear. "Look, Tyler, I just broke it off with this jerk, and I feel like I'm not really in a place to date anyone right now. I'd love it if we could be friends, though."
"Yeah, I know."
"Wait, what?"
"Josh told me. I guess Melissa told him about it or something."
Damn it, Melissa! She had such a big mouth.
"I like you, though. So I hope you can forgive me, because I'm just going to keep trying. Besides, I've heard that you think my persistence is charming."
"Okay, Tyler."
"So what is your speech going to be about?" I asked him.
"Well that asshole stole my idea. But I think I have something else planned. You'll have to wait and see. What about you?"
"I have no idea."
Chapter 18
Friday
I looked down at my notes. My hands were already shaking. I had chosen to wear casual clothes again today, jeans and a tank top. But I was probably wearing an inappropriate amount of eye makeup and I had taken the time to straighten my hair. I wanted Professor Hunter to listen to my speech and think I wasn't just some clumsy, flirtatious girl.
"Penny," Tyler said and grabbed my hand.
I looked up at him.
"Don't be nervous, you're going to rock it. And try to pay attention today. I think you're going to like my speech." He winked at me.