“Well, nobody, I guess … but I mean, come on. It’s kind of obvious; Hannah’s in no condition … I mean, just look at her!”
I’m too tired to care if they’re all looking at me; at least I’m not sick anymore.
Massimo’s face falls. “What’s happened to her?”
“I gave her a little Gravol, that’s all.” Piper answers.
“Hannah.” Massimo sighs in frustration. “Why?”
“Why … what?” I say, yawning.
“I told you I’d help you. You didn’t need that pill.”
“But Piper said you were going to give me one,” I say, sleepily.
“I was going to do no such thing! We don’t need any zombies on board this boat. And that is what you look like right now — nothing but a zombie!”
“I feel better, though.”
Massimo shakes his head. “You need to go to bed.”
“Mmmm … a nice, snuggly bunk sounds like heaven,” I reply.
“Here, put these on.” Massimo passes me two terrycloth bands that look like they’re meant for a tennis player.
“What are these?”
“They put pressure on your wrists and will help you feel better without knocking you out for the entire day.” He fixes his eyes on Piper. “These were what I was going to give Hannah, not medication.”
“Ooops, my bad,” Piper chirps, linking elbows with A.J. “Come on, handsome. It’s time for our scene!”
5
Even Cover Girls Drool
“Hannah, are you up yet?” I hear Henry calling from the other side of my door.
“Yes,” I answer groggily, blinking my eyes open.
“Can I come in?”
“Yeah, sure!”
“How are you, sleepyhead?” he whispers, grinning.
I prop myself up on my elbows. “Better.” I point to the end of my bed. “Have a seat.”
“You look better.”
“Thanks, Henry. Hey, what time is it?”
“Almost time for supper.”
“What … really?”
“You’ve been asleep for a while.”
“How was the dive?”
“Didn’t happen. It was too rough and Patrice wanted to get some filming done around the ship.”
“Did Piper and A.J. do their Titanic scene?” I frown.
“Yeah. It was hilarious, actually.”
“Really?” I giggle, suddenly liking Henry even more.
He laughs. “Yeah, really.”
“You up?” A.J. calls, poking his head in the door.
Before I can answer, Piper pushes past him and sits herself down beside Henry at the end of my bunk. “Glad to see you’ve finally stopped puking, Hannah.”
“Gee … thanks, I guess.”
“Wow, you look great!” A.J. exclaims, pulling the chair out from my desk.
“Yeah.” Piper chuckles. “Other than the fact that your hair is a mess, there’s drool on your chin, and you still have barf on your shirt, you look great.”
Henry looks at Piper and shakes his head. “You look fine, Hannah. Super, actually.”
“You look like your old self again, Han,” A.J. says, throwing Henry a slight frown. “Pretty as ever.”
“Thanks, A.J.” I grin, feeling my cheeks flush a bit.
“Seriously?” Piper says.
“Look at that rosy glow.” Henry leans over and pinches my cheek. “You have to admit, she looks better, Piper?”
She rolls her eyes. “Yeah, like a total cover girl.”
Henry smiles. “Wow, Piper. I hadn’t noticed before, but you’re right! She does look like a cover girl. You’ve got a good eye!”
Piper sweeps her hair over one shoulder, and snaps a selfie. “People tell me all the time that I have a natural glow about me. Want to know my secret, Henry?”
“Sure, why not?” he answers flatly.
“It’s simple … proper nutrition and exercise. You know I’m an athlete, don’t you?”
“Yeah.” He scratches the back of his neck. “I think I heard something about that.”
“Girls come up to me all the time saying stuff like, ‘Piper, I wish I had your skin’ … ‘Piper, your complexion is flawless’ … ‘Piper, you should be a model.’”
Henry gives her a thumbs-up. “Lucky you.”
“Thank you,” she sings sweetly, ignoring his sarcasm. “Oh, Hannah, I feel so bad that you missed out on all of the fun today.”
“What fun?” I ask.
“Where do I start?” Piper laughs. “Well let’s see, there was the hot tub scene. Omigosh! So much fun. Wasn’t it, A.J.?”
A.J. nods. “It was cool.”
Hot tub scene with her and A.J.? Grrr!
“It was all right,” Henry says, hunching his shoulders. “Would have been better if you —”
“Oh, and then there was the scene with all of the charts up on the bridge.” Piper says, cutting Henry off. “I’ve seen these maps like, a hundred times before, so naturally, Patrice picked me to explain where the treasure is.”
“Naturally.” I nod.
“I just love being on camera! People say I’m a natural.”
Henry whispers under his breath, “I’m sure they say a lot of things.”
“Sounds like I missed a fun day.”
“Oh, and I didn’t even tell you the best part!” Piper exclaims.
Grrr! I don’t want to hear about the stupid Titanic scene. Don’t bring it up! Don’t bring it up! Don’t bring …
“Our Titanic scene!” Piper exclaims. “I know you’re probably dying to hear how it went!”
Would it be rude if I plugged my ears right about now? I totally want to.
“Oh … it was so amazing, I can’t even describe it,” she says, sighing with fake frustration. “You would have loved it, Hannah!”
“Oh, I would have,” I reply, nodding.
Henry lets out a snort of laughter.
“Oh, A.J.!” Piper cries. “It’s such a shame that Hannah missed our big scene. Let’s re-enact it for her.”
“Um … Hannah doesn’t want to see that.”
“Yes she does, she just said so!” Piper protests.
“Oh, I do,” I say, winking at Henry.
“Well it’s settled then,” Piper says, popping off the bed. “A.J., come here and stand behind me.” A.J. does as instructed. “Now pull my arms out to the sides.” He grabs her arms and pulls them back so they are spread out as wide as possible. “Not so hard!” she barks. “Try again.” He pulls them up and back slowly.
“Oh my gosh, A.J., not so slow, and don’t pull them back so far. Pull them out to the side!” She turns and glares at him. “We went through this up on the bow, remember? Do it like Jack did in the movie!”
“I told you, I didn’t see the movie.”
“Well, I described it to you and that should be good enough.”
“Okay, I’ll try again,” A.J. whimpers, like a scolded puppy.
Piper scowls. “This is all wrong! We should be standing on something.”
“There is nothing to stand on.” A.J. replies.
“The chair!” Piper barks. “Bring it over. We’ll stand on that.”
A.J. shakes his head. “There’s not enough room.”
“Oh my gosh, A.J., stop arguing with me!”
A.J. pulls the chair to the middle of the room and proceeds to stand on it.
“No, let me on first,” Piper says sharply.
“Oh, sorry.” A.J. jumps down, helps her on, then steps back up on the chair.
Piper sighs deeply. “Why are you facing me, A.J.?”
After some careful manoeuvering, he finally gets in the right spot — directly behind her, facing the back of her head.
“Okay, le
t’s try the scene again,” Piper orders.
After three more attempts (one too fast, one too slow, and one fall), A.J. finally masters the move.
Just then, without warning, Piper throws her head back, narrowly missing A.J.’s nose, and cries out dramatically, “I’m flying!”
I look over at Henry’s twitching lip, and that’s all it takes — suddenly we’re both in hysterics, laughing our heads off, tears streaming down our faces.
Piper sneers at us. “Oh, would you look at the time,” she exclaims, looking down at her watch. “Supper’s in five minutes. Shake a leg, Hannah. You don’t want to be late again.”
6
Shine Bright Like a Diamond … Or Not
Dive day!
I bet you think I’m freaking out, right?
Well, surprisingly, I’m not. I took scuba-diving lessons before we left, and even though they were in a pool, I pretended I was in the ocean. I figured if I was going to do this thing for real, then I might as well get used to it. I learned on the self-hypnosis website to visualize my fears and then picture myself facing them bravely and with confidence. Easy-peasy, right? Well, as it turns out, it wasn’t.
One day, during a lesson, I was swimming around the pool, happily minding my own business, when I got the bright idea to practise how I would handle meeting up with a family of sharks. In my mind, the sharks were real, and I was in the zone. Luckily, they were keeping their distance, but then one came closer and started circling to size me up. I was doing good … staying calm, keeping my heart rate down and focusing on my breathing, when an old lady (who was also in the pool, who I somehow forgot about) slapped my leg with her flipper. So, without going into too much detail, I panicked (of course) and in my frantic attempt to escape, ended up punching her, pulling her hair, and almost kicking her in her face with my flipper. Coughing and sputtering, she pulled herself from water, and then stormed off, screaming that I was crazy and should try a different hobby, far away from people! I left the pool feeling completely discouraged.
I knew I had to change my thinking. I thought about my friend Rachel, back in Vermont, and her mom who is a yoga teacher. She told us one day that 97 percent of what we worry about either won’t happen or it’ll turn out much better than expected. She said that worry is a useless emotion, and that we all need more positivity in our lives. She also taught Rachel and me about mantras.
A mantra is a positive word or phrase that you repeat to yourself to bring good energy into your life. They can help you reach your goals by getting you through tough situations. You’ve probably heard the old saying, you are what you eat, well guess what else — you are what you think!
Here are a couple of my favourites:
Push past the fear and just do it.
I can do anything.
So now, here I am, about to push past my fears, knowing that as soon as our morning meeting is over I’ll be jumping into an ocean filled with whales and sharks and fish, and weird, slimy creatures with tentacles! Don’t get me wrong; I’m still kind of scared, but I’m going to do it. And hey, if it goes bad, I’m surrounded by a boatload of experts who can help at a moment’s notice … right?
Everyone arrives on the middle deck at 8:45 a.m. on the dot, including me (silent cheer of joy — woot, woot!) The only person who doesn’t arrive early is the captain, who appears precisely at 9:00 a.m., signalling the start of the meeting.
“Good morning, everyone.” Captain Steele takes a sip from his tiny teacup. “So we can start now? No one has chosen to be ill this morning or to sleep in?”
Excited to draw attention to the fact that I’m on time and I have my sea legs about me (Massimo’s seasickness bands rock!) I decide to answer his question. So, in my most professional voice I say, “Yes, Captain Steele. Everyone is on time and we all appear well.”
I hope he notices my professionalism, and realizes that I’m a team player, and not just some seasick, excuse-making, semi-celebrity kid who’s just on this expedition because I have an “in with the station.”
“Hannah,” the captain says, sucking air in through his nose, “the question was rhetorical.”
“What’s that mean?” (I’ve learned it’s always best to ask when you don’t understand something; otherwise you end up making yourself look doubly dumb.)
“It means I wasn’t looking for an answer.”
“Well, then why did you ask?” I say, shrugging.
The captain sighs angrily. “I was making a point.”
I shake my head. “Well, you were still asking a question.”
“Hannah!” he shouts, making me jump. “You’re wasting our time.”
Okay, maybe I went a little too far. At least now I’m pretty sure I know what rhetorical means.
“So, we’re all here!” Patrice jumps in, laughing uncomfortably. “Thank you, Captain.” His smile widens. “Is everyone excited about today?”
I’m tempted to answer, but decide to keep my mouth shut for the time being.
“Hannah, you feel better, yes?”
I smile, rubbing my wrist against my forehead.
“Hannah, it’s okay. You can speak.”
I glance over at the captain (I don’t want to get yelled at again), but he’s not paying any attention. He’s watching Massimo carefully filling up his prized teacup with coffee.
“Hannah, you’re feeling better?” Patrice asks again.
“Yes,” I say quietly. “Massimo gave me these.” I hold up my wrists to show him my seasickness bands.
As I do, Henry smiles at me from the other side of the deck and then starts weirdly pumping his fist in the air. OMG … what is he doing?
I raise my eyebrows and shrug my shoulders, trying to ignore him so I can listen to Patrice, who is telling us that the waves are a bit too big for our dive today. At least, that’s what I think he said. Henry is becoming more distracting by the second! Now, he’s got his other hand in the air and he’s spastically poking at his wrist like a crazy person. He is a crazy person!
I shake my head and silently (angrily) mouth the word stop.
His furious poking persists, until finally, he pushes up his sleeve to reveal a terrycloth wristband, kind of like mine, only it’s different. Actually, I think they are the kind you wear for tennis, which is weird because as big as this boat is, it doesn’t have a tennis court.
“Formidable!” Patrice proclaims joyously. “I am so glad you are better, Hannah, because we have a full day in store for you.”
“For me?”
“Today, ma chère, we will shoot our fun shots!”
“Fun shots?” Piper blurts out, smiling awkwardly. “But we did that yesterday.”
“Yes, we did,” Patrice replies, twisting the end of his moustache with his fingers. “And they were very helpful.”
“Helpful?”
“More than helpful!” Patrice smiles warmly at Piper. “The test shots we did yesterday were wonderful! I have no doubt that today we will make them magnificent!”
“But they were magnificent yesterday!” Piper cries.
“Wonderful, yes,” Patrice acknowledges. “But magnificent …” He frowns. “No. For that, we need our trained professional!”
“But I am a professional!” Piper says, poking her finger into her chest.
“Ahhhh …” Patrice smiles, taking her hands in his. “My dear, we all have important parts to play. You are a diamond in our cast, but our show, like a crown, holds many jewels.”
“I’m a diamond,” Piper says, fixing her eyes on me. “Everyone knows they’re the best because they shine the brightest.”
“So without further ado,” Patrice exclaims, letting go of Piper’s hands, “let the fun begin! Hannah and A.J., we need you up on the bow. It’s time to film your Titanic scene!”
7
And This Is Why I Will Never Ever Eat a Breakfast
Sandwich Ever Again!
Yesterday was amazing, beyond amazing, epic amazing, stupendous amazing! The highlight, as you probably guessed, was the Titanic scene with A.J.
I just can’t overstate how perfect it was, how perfect A.J. was. He was his old self again, only better. It was magic.
Today is dive day, for real this time. The captain told us yesterday that even though the conditions won’t be perfect today, they’d be good enough. Then he started droning on about deadlines and schedules and blah, blah, blah. After a while, I lost interest and stopped listening. He was probably just lecturing us on the importance of being prompt, for the thousandth time. Which reminds me — I’ve got to get moving because I know the cameras will be rolling first thing.
I look at my phone. Phew! It’s 5:55 a.m. That means I didn’t sleep through any of my alarms (I set several just in case). It also means that I have enough time to grab a shower, get dressed, dry my hair, eat breakfast, and make it to our meeting spot the required fifteen minutes early so I won’t be late.
The bathroom, aka the head, is across the hallway from my room. I share it with Piper and a couple of female crew members, so there is always a possibility of a lineup. Luckily, today Piper is on her way out of the shower when I arrive, and no one else is waiting.
“Hi, Hannah. All ready for dive day?” Piper asks, sounding surprisingly cheery.
“Uh-huh.”
“Well, the shower’s all yours.”
“Great! Um … thanks.”
“Oh, wait!” she reaches in and taps a control panel on the wall. “It’s a heat lamp. Now you’ll be toasty warm when you come out.”
“Gee, thanks,” I say, wondering why she’s suddenly treating me like her BFF.
“You’re gonna love it!” She winks. “Oh, and Hannah, I wouldn’t wear those wrist thing-a-ma-bobbies in the shower if I were you. You don’t want to get them wet, right?”
In Over Her Head Page 4