“I was just wondering how you control yourself and not jump me like I want to do to you?”
He looks off in the distance for a moment. “It’s not as easy as it seems Ava. Trust me, I do want you very much. You’re a very sensual woman, and I’m thankful you’re in my life. This is going to sound crazy maybe, but I just want our first time together to be special. I want it to be emotional and not just sex. When I make love to you, I want it to be love. I want to tell you that I love you. I want to hear you say you love me, and I want us to mean it.”
He’s as serious as a heart attack right now.
“Do you understand?”
“Yes.”
“Nothing pleases me more knowing that you want me too Ava.”
“I’m sure that’s not unfamiliar to you. Every woman who meets you wants you.”
He sits down in front of me. “No. You want me. You don’t want my money or celebrity. You want me.” He reaches across the table and touches my hand.
“Yes, I do. You fascinate me, and I want to get to know you better.”
“I feel the same about you.” He pulls my hand to his mouth and kisses the back of it several times.
“Dinner tonight?” He asks, flashing that brilliant smile again.
“Of course,” I reply.
“Let me drive you to work.”
“Enzo I have a great car sitting out there I never drive.”
“When I’m in town, I’m driving you.” He insists, reminding me that he doesn’t really live here. Yet.
“Okay, okay.” I put my hands up in mock protest. I shuffle to the bathroom to shower and prepare for work. I decide on a gray pencil skirt and cream blouse. I slip on some cream platform pumps that are perfect for a pencil skirt. I put on my diamond stud earrings, my 21st birthday present from my parents, and a long silver chain. I look damn good.
I put on some mascara, a little blush, and pale pink lip gloss, and I’m ready to go. I love that with the intense heat outside, I can let my hair air dry. Even though I clearly have enough time in the mornings now with Mr. Early Bird around.
“Wow, you look stunning.”
“Thank you.” I curtsy.
He laughs. “Let’s get you to work.”
In the car, he clears his throat. “Ava, I was planning to stay a few weeks in Phoenix, but I have to leave town again for a few days unexpectedly.”
“Oh?”
“I’m going back to Boston. There’s a problem with the title work, and I need to sign some paperwork.”
“Okay.” I’m deflated. He just got here and now he’s leaving again. Better get used to it sister. This is his world. You’re just a squirrel trying to get a nut. Cassie’s gangsta voice invades my thoughts causing me to smile a little.
“Enzo I know this is your life. I’ll be here when you get back.”
He squeezes my hand once more before he drops me off, and I head into work.
“Morning Ava, how was your evening?”
I think back to the drama of the previous evening. “Morning Gabrielle. Oh you know, uneventful.” I lie.
“Yea me too.” She smiles. “So today I figure we would start getting you trained on the system and make sure your log in information works.”
“Sounds good.”
The morning flies by in a haze of log in codes, passwords, and procedures. Starting a new job is always tough. It wasn’t hard at all leaving my old one though. I knew the day after I broke up with Steve that I was going to move. I just had to keep it under wraps for a while.
“Ava. It’s time for lunch.”
“Great.”
Gabrielle leads me down to the company cafeteria. Everyone is ordering salads. Seems to be the thing to do in this town if you’re female. I see they have a taco bar today so I order two beef tacos with rice and beans, extra sour cream thank you very much. I look up and see Gabrielle waiting for me.
“Aren’t you eating?” I ask.
“I brought my lunch. It’s over there at the table.”
“Okay I’ll just pay real quick and meet you over there.”
I make my way to the table. Gabrielle is eating a bowl of roasted vegetables and some cold chicken.
“Don’t you want to heat that up?” I ask.
She shrugs. “Nah. It’s fine like this.”
“So you must think I’m a little piggy with all my Mexican food. You look like a healthy eater.”
She smiles. “Trust me I can eat. This just happens to be what was in my fridge, and I don’t like to waste food. By the way,” she changes the subject, “you’re doing great so far catching on to stuff.”
“Thanks. You’re a good trainer.” I take a bite of my taco. “So, Gabrielle, are you married, dating?”
“You can call me Gabby and neither of those. But I’d love to meet someone soon. I want a huge family. You?”
I smile. “Dating someone. It’s still new.”
“What’s his name?”
“Enzo.”
“What a cool name. Like the architect of this building.”
I stop chewing. “This building?”
“Yea, Enzo Milano. He won an award or something for this building. They called it innovative. All of us managers went to a banquet where he was a speaker. He’s a cutie.”
I smile and say nothing. It feels awkward now to admit it’s him.
Time for me to change the subject. “Are there any good restaurants around here?”
I’m exhausted and I know I still have dinner plans with Enzo. He should be here soon to pick me up. I glance in my compact mirror and reapply my lip gloss. Thank God, I don’t look as tired as I feel. My energy will perk right up when I see him.
The phone on my desk rings, startling me. The caller id reads unknown caller. I answer.
“Ava Bradshaw.” The line is silent, but I can tell someone is there.
“Hello? Is someone there?” The line goes dead. Hmm. Probably just a wrong number. Certainly, no one would be looking for me already. I peek out the window and see Enzo’s car pulling into the drive.
“Hey Ava, ready to walk out?” I turn around to see my coworker Adam in the hall.
“I sure am.”
“How’s it going so far?” He asks.
“Good. I like it here. People seem nice and helpful.”
“Yea, it’s a good company.”
We get to the main door in the lobby. “Some of us are going to grab a drink down the street if you want to come, Ava.”
“Oh thanks, but I have plans tonight.”
“Okay, next time then.” He smiles and waves goodbye.
“Hi!” I jump in the car and kiss Enzo on the cheek.
“Who’s that guy you were talking to?”
Whoa, Enzo’s tone is freaking me out.
“Just a guy I work with. What’s the big deal?”
“Why were you with him?”
I glare at him. “I work in a building with a lot of people. We happened to walk out at the same time. You’re being ridiculous.”
“I don’t like the way he was looking at you.”
I roll my eyes.
He grabs my arm. “Listen to me Ava, you are mine. There can be no other men.” He sounds so possessive and just shitty right now.
“You listen to me, there are no other men. He is a coworker, Enzo. You need to trust me. I don’t like how you are talking to me right now.” I pull my arm away from him.
We sit in silence for a moment. All I can hear is his heavy breathing.
“I’m sorry Ava. I am. I reacted poorly. I just didn’t like seeing you talk to another man, and I didn’t like the way he looked at you. I’ve been known to have trust issues.”
“Clearly. I don’t like being treated like I did something wrong, and I don’t like being questioned. I am the most faithful girl you’ll ever meet. You have to trust me Enzo.”
“You have to trust me too.” His voice is much softer now, revealing his vulnerability.
“I do trust you.”
“You did
n’t like it when I went to Boston.”
He’s totally right. We both have issues.
“You’re right. I guess I have trust issues too. But I do trust you Enzo. And I promise, there are no other men. Who could compare to what I already have?”
“That’s what bothers me. I know other men want you, and I think that man you were with does. Didn’t you see the way he looked at you?”
“Honestly, no I didn’t. The only thing on my mind was getting outside to see you. It’s the only thing I wanted all day, just to be with you again.” I stroke his arm.
He looks up and smiles. “You are making me crazy Ava. Everything about you is…I don’t even know how to explain it. My whole life is upside down because of you. It’s uncomfortable for me sometimes, but it’s also exhilarating.”
“I could say those same exact words to you.”
“I have some bad news.”
“What’s the matter?”
“I have to entertain some of my partners that flew into town today for dinner.”
“Okay.” More time without him.
“I’d much rather be alone with you, but I hope you don’t mind sitting through another boring dinner with me.”
“I’ll be fine. I can hold my own.”
“Yes, I know this. Remember, be yourself.”
I feel relieved that the tension is gone. He’s got a wild jealous streak that I know I have to deal with. Truth be told, when it comes to him, so do I.
“So you built the building I work in huh?” I nudge his arm lightly while he drives.
“I designed it, yes.” He looks embarrassed.
“Why do you seem shy about your work right now?”
“I’m not shy about it. It’s just strange to talk about it so directly with you. I’m more accustomed to discussing my work conceptually, not with people close to me.”
“It’s because it’s me? Because I work there?”
“I don’t know how to explain it. Usually I lean more towards bragging actually, but when I’m with you, my work is the last thing on my mind.”
I rub his arm. “I’m proud of your work, your creativity and vision is amazing. I’m glad I get to experience it directly.”
He turns and looks at me, his blue eyes softening into cooling puddles. “Thank you.” It’s the sincerest thank you I’ve ever heard.
We pull up to Girasole and walk towards Milano. My body tenses and I look around for Anna before I remember she’s not here anymore.
“Stephanie was so excited this morning when I stopped in the shop. She had a notebook of ideas for the store, many of them very good. I doubled her pay. Hazard pay for dealing with, what did you call her, The Bitch?”
I giggle. When he says bitch it sounds a lot more like beach.
“I’m sure she deserves it and will earn her pay.” I note. We walk in, welcomed by Sylvia once more.
“So nice to see you again.” She says, shaking my hand and looking more than a little surprised. We walk to a large table in the center where several men and two women are sitting. They stand as Enzo approaches.
“Please sit.” They all sit.
“This is Ava.” I recognize the man who asked me about the purple room from the awards ceremony. Oh and that’s the woman who wasn’t convinced yet. They both nod at me in recognition.
I try to amuse myself among all the financial discussions. He’s right, this is very boring. I try to look interested nodding my head so often and laughing when they do. I have no idea what they are talking about. Every so often, Enzo squeezes my thigh under the table and winks at me.
Paolo brings out platters of linguine with clams, eggplant parmesan, and pan fried chicken. The conversation dies down a bit while everyone eats. I think I could eat here every day, although not if I don’t want to go shopping for a larger dress size.
Three hours pass in discussion regarding Boston and the Italy projects. We are finishing our tiramisu and all I can think of is home. Up at five and home at ten, not sure I can keep up that schedule. I can tell Enzo is ready to leave as well. We finally say our goodbyes. Stepping outside, several photographers call out our names.
“Miss Bradshaw! Mr. Milano!” All I can see are flashes of light everywhere.
“Shit.” I hear Enzo and feel his hand on my arm guiding me back to valet.
“Walk quickly Ava.”
“What’s going on?”
“I’ll tell you later. Keep walking.” We move as quickly as possible. I feel a slight tug on my arm but see no one. Valet has our car waiting.
“What the hell was that about Enzo?”
He is pissed. “I told you. Now they know your name they want to know more about you. You’ve been seen with me more than once, and that’s hot news. Fucking gossip.”
He glances at me as he drives. “I wonder how they knew we were there. Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. I’ve just never experienced anything like that before.” I’m a little shaken.
“It happens unfortunately. Not often. The longer you’re around the less they will care.” He offers a weary smile.
“Does this happen everywhere you go?”
“No. Not in Europe and not in most cities. The ones I frequent the most though, yes.”
We go back to my apartment, and I kick off my shoes the minute we walk in. I head straight to my room, peeling off all my clothes as I go. Standing in my panties and bra, I brush my teeth and wash my face. Enzo is standing in the doorway of the bathroom watching me. I roll my eyes. He grabs me around the waist and playfully bites my shoulder. I put my robe on and head to the kitchen. He follows, still watching.
“I need to charge my phone.” I reach into my purse and feel something foreign. I pull out a small manila envelope. What is this? I open it and can’t believe my eyes.
“Ava, what is it?”
I’m staring at the photo in my hand in disbelief, a hundred thoughts and emotions racing through my mind. I’m upset, sad, hurt, humiliated. A note at the top says, “You’re not the only one.” My eyes fill with tears. He lied to me? He’s playing me? Oh God. Oh no. I feel him from behind, and I freeze.
“Ava, what’s wrong?”
I turn to him and hand him the picture, saying nothing.
He turns pale. “I can explain.”
I stare hard at him. “Can you?” I can’t imagine how he can explain a picture of him kissing another woman taken just four days ago.
“It’s not what it looks like.”
“Do you know how cliché that is? I really don’t want to hear it Enzo. And you were the one acting jealous because I talked to a guy. I should’ve known you would have more women. How would someone like me get someone like you all for herself?”
My voice falters as tears flow down my face. How could I fall for this? I believed him. I thought he was falling for me, and here I found out he’s been keeping his options open all along.
“Ava you’ve got it wrong. You are jumping to conclusions. And what do you mean someone like you?” His face is red with anger. He has no right to be angry at me.
“Don’t raise your voice at me! Obviously, someone wanted me to see this. They went out of their way to make sure it got into my hands. Why did you tell me all those things if it wasn’t true Enzo? Is this some kind of game you play?”
My voice cracks. Why am I crying like this? I’ve known this guy less than a month. I knew I should have stuck to my plan. I wouldn’t be feeling this pain and embarrassment if I had.
He starts pacing and running his hands through his hair. “Ava please, let me talk.”
I slump on my couch. He sits next to me and touches my arm, but I stiffen. He’s not going to distract me.
“Ava. I’ll tell you the truth.”
I look up, wiping tears from my eyes. His eyes are sad.
“I’m listening.”
“The woman in the picture…,” he takes a deep breath before continuing. “Her name is Lucia.” I stare blankly.
“You asked me who h
urt me. Now you know.”
What does that mean? He went to see the woman that broke his heart? Was it one last try before settling on me? Or does she want him back?
“She lives in Boston. We dated ten years ago right after I moved to the states. I was doing an internship with a Boston construction firm, and she was the office manager.”
He reaches for my hand, but I pull it away. I’m really not interested in this trip down memory lane.
He sighs. “I called her and asked her to dinner because I needed to talk to her. I needed to tell her some things.”
I turn my eyes away not wanting to hear the part where he tells her he still wants her. He grabs my chin and turns my face towards him.
“I needed to tell her what she did to me and how it affected me.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. It felt unfinished to me. She was the only woman I ever thought I loved, and she broke me into a hundred pieces.” The sadness in his voice makes me want to reach out to him, but I’m still afraid.
“So we talked. I told her about the pain I felt and how I was never going to fall in love again so no woman could ever do what she did to me. I told her what a womanizing asshole I’ve been ever since and how I used to think about her every single fucking night.”
I try to turn away, to get the words out of my head, but he holds my shoulders, so I can’t look away.
“I told her I hoped she was as miserable as she made me.”
“And she reacted by kissing you?” My throat tightens as I speak.
“No. She reacted by telling me that we were young and stupid, and she didn’t mean to hurt me but she didn’t know what she wanted yet. She told me that she was proud of my success, and she felt terrible for how she treated me. Then she told me she was happily married and had three kids, and she hoped I would find happiness too.”
“What did she do to you Enzo?”
“She cheated on me, several times. I took her back every time. But the last time was with my best friend. My only friend in America at the time. Hence, the trust issues.”
I know the pain he felt all too well.
“Do you want to know the rest Ava?”
I nod.
“She asked me why after all these years I looked her up to tell her all this. I told her because two weeks ago I stopped being angry. I stopped womanizing, and I stopped thinking about her every day.”
Turn Towards the Sun Page 14