“That’s Rebecca,” Kelsey muttered under her breath with a thumb hitched in her direction. “She’s like a stray puppy . . . never leaves you alone, but you just can’t find it in yourself to shoo her away because she’s disgustingly nice.”
“Thanks for the help with that. The last thing I need is for people to know anything about that night.” Well, more than they already knew. Jason had heard his fair share, and if he ever discovered that it had been his cousin . . . I’d be a dead man.
Jason wasn’t overly protective of Kelsey, but there was some unwritten code about sleeping with a family member of one of your friends. The fact that he’d heard far too much about that night would only add gasoline to the flame.
“Yeah . . . about that night.” Kelsey took a deep breath and ran her palms over her silk-covered thighs. She seemed as nervous as I felt.
The last thing I wanted was for her to assume I wanted more. Well, I did, but that wasn’t the point. We couldn’t have more, and I was fully aware of that. Not to mention, I didn’t care to hear her tell me what a mistake it was, or how much she regretted our time together. So I did the only thing I could think of—pretended like it didn’t matter much to me, either.
I cleared my throat and prepared for the biggest performance of my life. “It’s okay. You don’t have to explain anything. In fact, it might be easier if we just pretend it never happened; that way, it won’t cause a problem while we’re living together. If you’re still cool with me moving in, that is.”
“I wish I could pretend it never happened, but . . .”
“I know what you mean.” I leaned toward her and lowered my voice to add, “It was fucking amazing. Unforgettable.” The smell of her hair made me pull away—well, that, and I didn’t want anyone to see us sharing a secret. I couldn’t handle more assumptions that weren’t accurate. “But if you do allow me to stay with you, it’d be in our best interest to act like nothing’s happened between us. There was a reason we agreed to remain anonymous with each other.”
“Agreed. And you’re right, nothing can ever happen again.” Oddly enough, she appeared defeated. Deflated. Something dragged her down. “I just mean—”
“There you two are.” Tatum came out of the ballroom, hands on her hips. She looked like an angel in her white dress, dark hair pinned to her head with curls escaping near her face. Jason truly was a lucky man to spend the rest of his life with her. “You ran off and then never came back.”
“I’m not going in there until the baby cow is removed from the table,” Kelsey said with her arms crossed, a sudden defiance consuming her.
“Why’d you leave?” Tatum pinned me with a questioning stare.
“I came to check on her after she ran off. Now we’re discussing the move.”
Recognition shone bright in her dark, wide eyes. “Oh yeah. I’m sorry. I forgot you two weren’t able to get together last week. Well, is this going to take much longer? We’re about to cut the cake, and then it’s the bouquet toss. Which you better catch, Kels.”
“I’m not coming within ten feet of that shit. You might as well hand it to someone else. I’m sure Carrie wouldn’t mind taking it from you. Any reason to get Victor to propose, and she’s on it like freezer burn on chicken.”
Laughter scratched at the back of my throat. I had no idea whom she spoke of, but between the bouquet and the analogy, I almost couldn’t contain it.
Tatum rolled her eyes, a smile playing on her crimson lips. “How many times do I have to explain this, Kels . . . only your chicken has freezer burn. It’s not a normal thing.”
“Either way, I don’t want the stupid flowers. But I would like some cake.” She glanced at me. “We can finish this conversation another time.”
I grabbed her hand to prevent her from getting up and following Tatum back into the ballroom. “We’re cool, right?”
“Yeah, we’re cool.”
She seemed irritated or upset, so I added, “With living together, I mean.” I didn’t want her to misunderstand why I’d ask that.
“Yeah.” She might’ve nodded and given me an answer, yet her eyes didn’t seem to match. She wasn’t aggravated or annoyed. If anything, she was hesitant, as if she had something else to say but couldn’t get the words out. After a moment of deliberating with herself, she met my stare and added, “Maybe we can get together this week and discuss the rules and whatnot.”
“Sounds good.” At least I didn’t have to keep stressing that she would pull the rug out from beneath me, forcing me to find somewhere else to live in the next seven days.
The bouquet hung loosely at Kelsey’s side as she made her way down the hall, and all I could think about was her terrified expression when it’d landed in her arms, no one bothering to fight her for it. And what had made it even better was the garter I’d managed to snag, only to slide it up her leg to her thigh. I’d figured it’d be the last time I got to touch her, and I’d refused to pass it up.
It still put a smile on my face.
My hotel room was close to hers, so I decided that making sure she got to her room in one piece would be the gentlemanly thing to do. I might or might not have had a few drinks at the reception, making me cling to any ounce of hope I could find that she’d had just as much and would invite me in.
“So I was thinking . . .” I said as I followed one step behind Kelsey. “We could totally finish our conversation now. That way, we won’t have to schedule something this week.”
She stopped at her room and turned to face me with her back against the door. Hope danced in her eyes, though a small, cunning grin lined her lips. “You’re more than welcome to come in—to talk. We’re not having sex.”
Well, that was like a bucket of cold water in my lap. “I wasn’t looking to have sex with you again. We’ve already talked about that.” Lies. All lies.
“Right . . .” Skepticism brightened the green rims around her irises. “Fine, then. Come on.” And with that, she turned, stuck her key card into the slot, and then opened the door, holding it for me to slip in behind her.
I took a seat on the edge of the bed while she moved into the bathroom, likely to change. But that didn’t stop me from beginning the conversation, even if she had to respond through a wall. “Provided I find something quickly, I shouldn’t be there longer than a couple months. But like I told Jason, I’m not looking for a free place to stay.”
“Good. Because I didn’t offer a free room.” She tossed her dress through the door and pulled it almost shut again. “I guess we should probably discuss the rent aspect of it, huh?”
Just seeing the peach-colored silk sprawled on the floor filled my mind with dirty thoughts I didn’t have any right to have. “Yeah—” I cleared my throat, eradicating the desire that had flooded my voice. “That’s probably a good idea.”
“When Tatum lived with me, she paid half the rent and nothing more, so I figured it’d only be fair if I did the same for you.”
“What do you mean, and nothing more?”
Kelsey stepped out of the bathroom in a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top, sans bra. Her nipples pebbled beneath the ribbed fabric, calling my attention to the beads I’d paid particular attention to while drawing the sexiest sounds from her lips. It took every ounce of restraint to stay where I was when all I wanted was to go to her and make her scream all over again.
It seemed she recalled the same memory, because she quickly covered her chest with her arms and moved to sit next to me. With her back against the headboard, she hugged a pillow to her chest, shielding me from the finest view I’d ever seen. “It’s easier to have you pay half the rent rather than split all the other bills. I’d pay the same amount for cable whether you were there or not, and the utilities don’t come until the following month. Unless you take incredibly long showers, leave the sink running all morning while you get ready for work, or turn on every light in the place during the day, it’s just easier to call those things a wash.”
“Fair enough. What about food
?”
“I don’t mind if you eat what’s there, just as long as you contribute and replace it if you take the last of something. Same with the laundry detergent and cleaning products. And I ask that you pick up after yourself in the common area—what you do in your room is your business, providing it doesn’t destroy anything that I’ll have to fix or replace myself.”
“You won’t have to worry about that.” A smile broke free and created a slow burn in my cheeks. For whatever reason, I’d expected her list of demands to be something more than this. Although, she did seem a little nervous, and we weren’t done listing the rules, so there could’ve still been more coming.
“Also . . . my apartment is fully furnished, so you’ll only need to bring your clothes and personal effects and whatnot. If you have furniture, you might wanna get a storage unit for the meantime until you get your own place.”
“What about the room I’m taking? Is there furniture in there, too?”
“Yes. It used to be Tatum’s—she didn’t need it when she moved in with Jason. All the sheets and blankets are clean, and the mattress is nearly new. There’s one dresser in that room, but it should be big enough for you.” She scanned my body with her eyes, as if somehow determining how many clothes I had. “If not, the closet is completely empty.”
“That’s perfect, because I planned to leave my bedroom set behind when I move. It’s old—I’ve had it since I was, like, twelve. And no one wants to buy their first home and then fill it with ancient furniture.”
A whispered laugh blew past her smiling lips, but when she glanced up from her lap and met my eyes, she paused. Then she quickly shook off whatever thought had come to her and continued. “One last thing . . . I would appreciate it if you don’t have guests over. I’m just not comfortable—”
“No need to elaborate. I get it.” That at least saved me from having to explain that I didn’t have many friends. “But just so there’s no confusion . . . will Jason be exempt from that rule?”
She huffed to herself, slightly rolling her eyes. “Obviously.”
“I guess we’re all squared away, then.” I didn’t want to leave, praying something else would come up that would keep me here—even if we only talked. “You said you could help me find a house . . . is that offer still on the table?”
Her gaze softened, the momentary irritation vanishing as though it were nothing more than a breeze. “Yeah, I can do that. I just need to know what you’re looking for, and I can ask around. I have connections with quite a few Realtors, as well as builders in case you’re interested in starting from scratch.”
That wasn’t something I’d given much thought to, considering I was on a restricted time frame. I’d had a hard enough time finding a place to stay for a couple of months. Imposing on someone’s space for longer than that while I had a house built would’ve been impossible. However, thinking about perhaps staying with Kelsey while that happened seemed like an ideal opportunity.
“But you don’t need to let me know now,” she continued, breaking me out of my thoughts. “Just make me a list before next weekend, and I’ll get a few options ready to look at.”
“Thanks, Kelsey. You have no idea how much I appreciate this. When I realized who you were, I have to admit, I was worried you’d change your mind.”
“Out of curiosity . . . when did you realize who I am?”
I scratched my chin, even though I didn’t have an itch. It likely made me look guilty, but if I was being honest, I’d stopped caring what things looked like long ago. People made up their own minds regardless of how I acted or what I did. “Last Friday, after Jason told me that you said I could move in.”
“But how? Like, how’d you figure it out? Because I had no clue until last night at the elevators.” The awareness in her eyes when Tatum had said my name was something I’d never forget.
“My assistant looked you up on Facebook.”
She nodded, focusing on the pillow in her lap while biting the inside of her cheek. “Any reason why you didn’t say anything when you found out?”
“What did you expect me to do, Kelsey? Retrace my steps to your apartment and knock on your door? Say, Hey, I know you said I can move in, but you might wanna reconsider since I’m the guy who said ‘I love you’ right before he came? Yeah . . . no.” Nothing was more embarrassing than being so wrapped up in the fantasy we’d built that I had confessed my undying love to her—even without knowing her name. I just hoped she hadn’t taken that to heart.
She dipped her head even more, tucking her chin to her chest to hide the naughty grin and rosy cheeks. When she finally seemed to have control over her reaction, she glanced up and asked, “Had I recanted my offer, where would you have gone?”
I shrugged, truly unable to give her much of an answer. “I’m not sure. I’d like to believe that Jason and Tatum wouldn’t let me live out of my car and would offer one of their spare rooms, but I’m not sure since that’s never come up.”
“Yeah . . . I don’t know how true that is. I’m sure they would’ve done all they could to help you out, but moving you in? I doubt that would’ve been much of an option.”
“You mean because she’s pregnant?”
Kelsey’s eyes widened, fear constricting her pupils while she stared daggers at me. “Did Jason tell you? Tatum said no one knew. They haven’t even said anything to their families yet. Then again, she told me, so I guess it’d only be fair if he talked to you about it.”
“No.” I laughed, placed my hand on her bare knee, and was suddenly sidetracked by the heat burning into my palm. But I quickly managed to lock that down and continue with our conversation. “That night, you told me that you dressed as the bride-to-be because your friend just found out she was pregnant and was too sick to come out. Once I realized it was you, I figured Tatum was the friend in question and put two and two together.”
“Shit. Have you said anything to them?”
“Honestly, between work and the wedding—as well as freaking out about seeing you—I haven’t thought much of it. I assumed he’d tell me when he was ready, and if he hadn’t said anything yet, he had a good reason.”
“That could’ve ended very badly.” The tiniest smile curled the corners of her lips before dropping. “Seriously, though . . . if I’d changed my mind about letting you stay with me, would you really have no other place to go but your car?”
Shifting on the edge of the mattress to face her, I pulled one knee up and shrugged. “Technically, I could find something else—maybe a motel, my office, moving between friends’ couches.”
“But I thought you had a lot of friends? At least, that’s how my cousin made it sound.”
This was the downside of living a double life, of not correcting others when they assumed things about you. “I know a lot of people, meet up with most of them when I go out. But that doesn’t make them viable options to live with.”
“Why not? You don’t know me, but you’re moving into my place. How would living with an acquaintance be any different than moving in with a stranger?”
“It’s just not the same. End of story.” I refused to go into the details of why I couldn’t move in with Cheryl or any of the other women I’d attempted—and failed—to date. “But to answer your question . . . no. If you changed your mind, I wouldn’t have to sleep in my car. I’d be able to find somewhere to stay. Just as long as you don’t wait until the last second to tell me I can’t move in with you.”
“Nah. I wouldn’t do that. I already told you that you can stay in Tatum’s old room. It’d be a bitch move if I took that back now . . . no matter how I feel about it.”
I felt like shit. It was clear she didn’t want me there and had only kept her word out of a sense of honor. On the other hand, if I released her of this self-imposed obligation, then I’d be screwing myself over. As much as I wanted to do the right thing, I couldn’t risk not having a place to live for the next few months. And oddly enough, my decision not to give her an out had nothing to
do with wanting a repeat performance from a few weeks ago.
“I just don’t understand why you didn’t get more of a notice from the owners of the house you were staying in. Isn’t that against the law or something?”
I dropped my attention to the bedspread and began to pick at an errant thread. “It might be, but who knows. I don’t think my situation would fall under those rules.”
“Why not?”
“Because I lived with my parents.”
She was silent for a moment, and it almost made me glance up to survey her expression. But when she started to laugh, I knew I didn’t want to see the look on her face. It would be no different than everyone else’s when they found out.
“Wait . . .” She slowed the amusement rolling through her long enough to catch her breath. “How old are you?”
Here we go again. I met her stare, giving her exactly what she wanted to hear. I knew this because it was what everyone wanted—what they expected. There was no reason to give them anything else; it would only ruin their entertainment. “Thirty-two.”
“And you still live with your parents? Why?”
I shook my head and glanced around the room. “Why not? Free room and board. Home-cooked meals. My mom does my laundry. Why else do you think?”
Something about my response made her still, and when I turned toward her again, I found her eyes on mine, sad and full of guilt. “What am I missing, Aaron? Tatum said you’re a psychologist. You have your own practice. It’s obvious you do well for yourself, so I can’t imagine you as the type to mooch off your parents into your thirties.”
For the first time, I found myself wanting to explain it. “I moved back in just before graduate school. I had racked up a lot in student loans, and even more would follow. Living with them made it easier to study without having to worry about a full-time job to pay the bills, and after graduation, they let me stay while I paid them off. They wanted to help put me through college, but they couldn’t afford it. Letting me stay with them was their way of financially helping me.”
The Secret Baby Page 9