The first song of the set starts out with a steady low grade pluck. I begin the strum and wait for the eight counts to come in. I open my mouth to sing, and the music comes from my heart. Seth wrote these songs for me. He may not have known me when he did, but they are mine.
Deacon is the first one to take notice, and he runs out to save me. He lifts the guitar over my head, and we barely break the rhythm to the beat. I keep singing and Gabe hurries out to the piano. The crowd is starting to cheer as more instruments are added. Seth staggers out in a daze. He hurries over to the drums and sits but doesn't start right away. He's watching me. I get to the first high part of the song and really prepare to belt it out. Right before I go for it, I pivot for the crowd and take my chances.
SETH
I WATCH MY GIRL BELT out the big notes like she's eating chocolate. I didn't even know our songs could sound like that. I' m so damn proud I can barely stay on my stool. I want to cheer her on. She glances back at me after the first song, and I wink at her. We start into the second, and it's slower. She's loosening up and swaying her hips, and it's so fucking sexy. Someone turns on the screens, but they aren't supposed to be used until the big acts. Yeah, my girl is that good.
We play through the five songs that are allowed and Alice bows. We all stand. The stage director steps out and runs up to her. She shakes her head, and he gets angry. She nods, and I get nervous. Gabe looks at me, and I shrug. She hurries over to Gabe and tells him something, but I can't hear over the crowd. Alice walks back to the mic. “Okay, this next one is really not a complete song without words, so I wrote a few lyrics in private to the music that these gorgeous guys created. I hope you like them.”
Restless
God, I'm restless
Got no destination
Just run away from devastation Where I've been there's only pain And I won't stop until I find myself again Here I stand in the rain
Thinking you could help me chalk up my first win It's so cold out here
And I thought maybe
Just maybe you could let me in Aching,
God, I'm aching,
For your rare smile.
The one that calls to me for miles. Laughter fills my heart now,
Leading me to a place that's love bound. Hoping that you'll see me with clear precision It's so lonely here,
Holding the light,
But maybe I'll be your best decision.
I'll be your anchor when the fear creeps in. I'll hold your hand and promise to listen. And when you dare to take on life, I'll be here to watch you survive. Cause I'm drowning in you. Waiting in the deep of this never ending blue.
Slow down, Take a breath, Find your ground.
One chance, Don't go,
Take a step,
Make it slow.
I know you hope I'll go
but I won't
I'll be your shoreline when the memories creep in. I'll wipe your eyes when the tears glisten. And when you dare to take on life, I'll make sure you survive.
Cause I'm drowning in you.
Waiting in the deep of this never ending blue.
Baby, I'll be here, Beneath the waves, Waiting for the moment, You scream my name.
Cause I'm Drowning with you, Buried beyond the water, Clinging to the current Until I find my way home.
We hit the last beat, and she bows her head. I want to cry. I've never had an experience like this. The last time I remember anyone doing something like this for me was on my twelfth birthday. Deacon knew I was down and brought over Kimmy Stevens. He'd had a mad crush on her, but so did I. He let her go so that I could get my first kiss.
I wipe the sweat from my brow, and we all stand. The crowd goes wild and cheers for an “Encore” ring out. We walk off stage together, and I swoop down on her. I lift her over my shoulder, and she's giggling. “You said you couldn't sing.”
“No. I never did.” She smacks me on the behind, so I return the favor, then freeze, but she's laughing so hard, I lighten up. “Other than Karaoke, I never sing.”
“So, you knew you were good.” I drop her to her feet.
She’s grinning from ear to ear and there’s a devilish glint lighting up her dark eyes. “I tried to show you at the club, but you pissed me off.”
I smack my head. “Woman, no more secrets. Please.”
“That was about my last one.”
I kiss her and back her up against a van. She snakes a leg around my waist, and I lift her. Hoots and hollers sound behind us.
“Hey you two, knock it off!”
Gabe grabs me and pushes, and I nearly crush Alice. “Dude.”
She's laughing again, and it does my heart good to see her so happy. “Let's party!”
We decide to meet up at The Basement to celebrate. Molly even seems cool with it, so I know she must have been before.
We're almost there when Alice slips her hand to my thigh. “I saved your ass tonight.”
I lift her fingers to my lips and kiss each one. All the years of looking for a lead for my lyrics, and I finally found her. “Yes, you did.”
“So, I guess that makes me your heroine.”
“Baby, you've been my drug of choice since I met you.” She giggles and drops her head to my shoulder. “Seriously, you can be my Super Woman any day.”
At the club, Hank waves us right in. “I hope you saved those pipes for the stage here.”
I’m sucking fucking proud of her, I want to lift her off her feet and just carry her everywhere, but that would put the spotlight on me and this is her gig.
She leans back against my chest. “How did you know?”
“In this city, news travels fast.” He chuckles. “Have fun.”
We all squeeze into a booth and order from one of the waitresses. It doesn't take long for Evan and Deacon to go on the prowl for tonight's hookups. A performance like that gets the adrenaline pumping. I can't wait to get Alice home and fuck her until she sings for me again. Gabe has his head buried in Molly's neck and she's completely oblivious to any of us. I'm glad they are getting along so well. Molly seems really grounded.
A light lands on our table and the DJ's voice sounds above us. “Alice Harrison, get your skinny ass up here.”
She kisses me on the lips and climbs onto the table. “I'm on my way!”
I laugh at her. She's never been this carefree and honest about her emotions. I wish I could give her this every night.
Molly breaks away from Gabe and wipes her lips. Gabe licks his, and I worry that he'll run her off if he doesn't slow it down a little. He raises a brow at me and grins, showing the James’ dimple in his right cheek. I still remember wiping tears from his eyes when our mom left. I can’t believe that we’ve made it this far as whole as we are.
Alice is lifted up on stage by three brawny guys, and I laugh when she kisses each of their heads like they are toddlers. The crowd around the stage is small, but the noise level rivals the packed venue we just came from. They love her too.
Whoa.
Shit.
I love her. My legs lock, and something sinks low in my gut. I love Alice. My breath evens out and I lose focus on the crowd around me. I fucking love Alice. Like I’d go to hell for her and clean up vomit and shit when she gets hung over. I love her like I can see her smile at the end of an altar. I love her like my dad loved my mom before she lost her soul to pills.
I tap Gabe's shoulder. “I'm going to the head.”
He nods and I rush from the table. In the bathroom, I throw hands full of cold water on my face and wait for the churning in my stomach. I’ve never been in love with a girl. I should be panicking, but nothing’s happening.
A man walks in and uses the urinal behind me. “That's one good looking woman on stage.” He's talking about my girl. I glance at him in the reflection of the mirror and try to ignore the comment. “Man, I'd love to get a piece of that.”
I wipe my hands on my jeans and catch a glimpse of the pisser in the mirror. He’s a big guy and quite a bit ol
der than most of the club clientele. His jacket is leather and large and hiding most of his body—it’s Fall in Texas. No one needs a coat yet.
The idea of this dildo handling his wood while he’s thinking of my girl doesn’t sit well. “Hey, that's my girlfriend.”
He zips up and walks to the sink. “Is she?” Something solid pokes me in the ribs. “That's not my prick in your side. Mr. Harrison would like a word with you.”
I could probably take this goon in a fist fight, but I’m not stupid enough to think I'll out hit a bullet. He leads me out of the bathroom and straight to the exit. We climb the stairs and head into the dark night. Alice is probably finished with her song by now and I only have a small amount of time before she'll become frantic--or worse, she'll think I bailed on her.
We stop at the limo parked in front and the back door opens. “Get in.”
I sit in the back seat across from the devil himself and ball my hands into fist to keep from slapping the shit out of him. I should be inside, celebrating and enjoying the woman I love. “You could have just asked for a meeting.”
“You're fucking my daughter. I get that. Hell, I even envy it a little. But, the one thing I won't do is incest.” He takes a sip of red wine and eyes me. “But, I'm sure she's a good lay. Her mother was the best. Bleated like a sheep, that one.”
I keep my face a mask of indifference, but inside my stomach rolls, and I gnash my teeth together to keep from losing it with him. Alice was at the hands of this monster for years. “What do you want?”
“I want you to leave my daughter alone. Step out of her life.” He folds his hands over one crossed knee, the leg of expensive suit not even crinkling beneath his hands. I glanced outside, but the tinted windows kept our little interlude private. “If you don't, I'll personally make sure that it ends.”
Every muscle in my body stiffens and a low growl breaks through my control. “You'd kill her?”
“In a heartbeat.” I grip the edge of the seat to keep from launching myself at him, but in my mind, I’m shattering the wine glass, cutting off his dick, and feeding the weak appendage to him until he chokes and dies on it. “That ungrateful brat has done nothing but cause me problems. I left her alone two years ago, but I found out she has something of mine. I want it back.”
The tension in the cab of the limo is oppressive and I’m not sure if it’s just Harrison’s disgusting persona or if it’s the fear coating my body in a light sweat. “So how does my leaving her alone help you?”
“If you're not around, then she won’t be so distracted. With her focused, I’ll get what I want a lot faster.”
There is no way in hell I'm leaving Alice alone. No one deserves this for a father. “And what if I go to the police with these threats?”
“You mean Chief Hollis? Or what about the mayor? Maybe he'd help.” He sat forward, one dark brow rising in question, and a grin twitched over perfectly straight teeth. “I own those fuckers. Just like I own your father.”
No. Not Dad. He wouldn’t get involved with someone like Harrison. I leaned in, getting right in this prick’s face. “What?”
“Your father is the senior broker at James and Stratton Real Estate. He's owned it what, thirty years?” Harrison disengaged and sat back, wiping at an imaginary piece of lint on his dark suit cuff.
Shit. Shit. Shit. “Don’t fuck with my family.”
“I hear that you and your dad don't get along so well.”
“That may be true, but we're the James men, and we stick together.”
He twirls the liquor in his glass like some freakin' bad eighty's movie. “Take my advice. Leave my bastard alone.”
My jaw twitches, hell, everything is twitching. I want to fuck his shit up and wipe that smarmy grin off his face. No one talks about Alice like that. My dad would have to survive this, because there is no way in the world I am leaving the woman I love to this dick. Never. “I'll take your advice into advisement.”
“See that you do.”
W E FIND SETH STANDING OUTSIDE, propped up against the side of the building. He reaches for me and pulls me against him. “Hey.”
I’m supposed to be mad at him for leaving me, but it’s been a crazy night, and I’m still too high from the singing to pout. I laugh and nuzzle his neck, mint and sweat and everything that’s him surrounds me. “Hi, handsome.” I pull back enough to watch his guarded expression. “What's wrong?”
“Nothing.” He’s smiling, but his eyes are dancing around my face. Never quite connecting with mine. “Did you have a good time?”
I lean in, propping my elbows on his hard abdomen and trace the design on his shirt. “Uh, yeah, but why are you out here?”
He releases me and tucks his hands in his pocket. A movement he has when he's solemn or shy. “I just needed some air.”
His mood is completely off and scaring me. “Okay, so are you ready to go?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Okay, we'll go.” I give him a quick peck, and when he's less than enthusiastic about returning the favor, I know something is definitely wrong. Maybe he’s angry with me for singing…or not telling him that I can sing. He didn’t seem mad earlier, but I’d saved his first gig. Anyone would be excited about that. But now he’s had time for it all to settle. I glance up at him, but he’s staring over my head. There isn’t anything to see out here, so I know that It’s just a way not to look at me.
We arrive at the apartments, and he stops by my door. For the last week, I’ve spent every night with him. Even on the nights that I’d had menstrual cramps, he made sure I was in his bed.
“Are we switching it up?”
He brushes a strand of hair out of my eye. “Don’t be mad.”
“Wha—”
“I think I'm going to hit the sack alone tonight. I need some sleep, and you probably need to rest those pipes.” Ouch. Don’t pull any punches there, buddy. His words completely suck out my happy buzz.
I twist my lips up, hoping that my smile doesn’t look like the vomit rolling around in my chest. “Okay.”
He smiles back, but there’s no life on his face. “Thanks for being cool about it.”
I nod. Gabe’s brows are furrowed low and Molly is clinging to his arm. Being pushed aside is bad enough, but having an audience makes it unbearable. I fish my keys out of my bag. Molly leaves the comfort of Gabe's arms and reaches for me. “I'll stay with you tonight.”
Gabe pushes Seth. “Why are you being an asshat?”
Seth staggers back. His shoulders drop and he’s almost listless. “I'm just tired. Let it go.”
Molly blows a kiss in Gabe's general direction, but it's not good enough for him. He reaches her side, flings her back over his arm, and kisses her until she's moaning. I take one last peek at Seth before he shuts his door on us. I've done something horrible. I just don't know what. I leave the door open, drop my purse on the floor, and hurry into the bathroom, slamming the door on the happy couple, before the tears start to fall.
Molly's heels click against the floor before she raps at the door. “Alice?”
“Leave me alone, please.” I brush away the mascara dribbling down my cheeks. My nose is red, and my cheeks are splotchy. I couldn’t even cry pretty.
“I won't. Come out and let’s talk this out.”
I open the door, and she hugs me. “I don't know what I did.”
“Honey, it might have been something with him. I know that their dad is hard on Seth, so maybe something happened there. Why do you automatically think that it has to do with you?”
“Because I destroy everything good in my life. Look at you. I ruined your eyes. I dropped out of school. I couldn’t save my mom. Hell, she probably didn’t want me. And we won’t even start on dad.” She rocks me against her and whispers sweet words while I cry. “I don't know why this hurts so much.”
“Because you love him, Alice.”
I lurch away. “If this is what it feels like, I'd rather go back to being numb.”
Molly
giggles. I can’t believe she finds this funny. I glance up at her sightless stare and want to cry even harder. “It's well worth the pain.”
I'm not so sure that I agree with her, but I don't want to argue about love. We end up in Molly's bed, and she's painting my toenails, or at least trying. I’ll have a huge pink mess to clean up later, but it’s nice to see her trying. It's four in the morning, and neither of us are tired yet. The last time we pulled an all-nighter was after one of my dad's special sessions, and I couldn't lie on my back.
“When is the last time we've done this?” I shake my head like I don't know, tracing a scar on my thigh that won’t let me forget. I remember to the date.
“Hmm... Mole, this really helped me.”
“I'm so glad. Tomorrow, I bet Seth is really mad at himself that you spent the night alone.” She raises her stare to my face. “He's crazy about you, Al, and after that performance, I think he's jumped the cliff.”
I thought so too. “What are your plans for tomorrow?”
“I'm having lunch with dad.” She raises her hands in an attempt to ward off my irritation. “I know you and he don't really get along, but I still love him.”
Of course, she would. Harrison had never laid a finger on her. “I know. It's okay.”
“Alice, someday you'll have to forgive him.”
I was always really careful not to show Molly the extent of his abuse, but she'd noticed bruising once. I'd told her that he spanked me, and I moved too much. She'd let it go, but warned me to be good so I wouldn't need to be punished. I'd really tried to be good, but nothing seemed to please him. I'm not even sure he'd be satisfied with my death.
I make sure that I'm gone when my father picks up Molly. She hoped I'd stay and have a few words with him, but I just couldn't. I'm running through the park, and I'm freer than before, knowing he's busy with Molly.
A familiar large truck parks by the curb ten feet in front of me. Shit. So much for feeling free. Something is eating at him, and I get it, but that doesn’t mean I have to like being tossed aside.
Drowning (Tears of Sin Series) Page 18